The Birth of Dil Pickles

This is the scene when Dil is born in Weekenders Adventures of The Rugrats Movie.

(Cut to exterior of the "Lipschitz Maternity Arts Building", 3 cars race to the front entrance. Cut to interior, looking at a bank of monitors with Dr. Lipschitz's image on each monitor.)

Lipschitz: (on monitors) Welcome to the Werner P. Lipschitz Center for Holistic Birthing, offering the modern parent the state of the art in primitive birth alternatives.

(While Lipschitz speaks, a statue with Lipschitz holding several babies come into view. Then, cut to a board that displays the names of mothers giving birth, in a fashion of the "Arrivals" and "Delays" board at airports. The gang arrive at the reception desk.)

Nurse: Oh, Mrs. Pickles! You weren't due till next week, now, dear. Well, I guess we could try and squeeze you in somewhere, huh?

Didi: But Dr. Lipschitz promised us the all-natural Zen experience in the tibetin terrace room!

Boris: In my day, a woman just dropped her baby in the potato field and kept going.

(Nurse opens door to a room that has maternity equipment in a middle of a potato field, complete with cows and a farmer.)

Nurse: Ah, yes, the old country room.

Didi: Do you have anything a little cleaner?

Nurse: We could try the aquatic immersion room.

(The gang looks at a window of a tank that has fish, a sea turtle and ruins, plus the pre-requisite maternity gear. The new mother pictured is in scuba gear, while her doctor is in an old-fashioned sea diver's outfit.)

Minka: She's having a baby, not a gefilte fish!

(A couple of doctors enter; one of them is Dr. Lucy Carmichael.)

Dr. Lucy: Oh! Stu, Didi, Randy called to say you were on your way. (laughs) I didn't realize you were bringin' the whole party! How far apart are the pains, hon?

Stu: Oh, they're... (Didi squeezes Stu's hand very tight) pretty much constant.

Dr. Lucy: Okay, Didi, let's go and get you settled in, huh?

(The Rugrats are placed in a playpen.)

Grandpa: Here you go, sprout.

Didi: Don't worry, sweetie, mommy's going to be okay.

(Grown-ups leave; Didi continues her breathing exercises. Grandpa and Boris sit nearby, preparing to play cards.)

Chuckie: Oh, gosh, Tommy, your mommy sure seems upset.

Lil: Maybe your baby sister really is losted.

Tommy: Whoa! Maybe we can buy her a new one.

(Tommy pulls out his chocolate coin.)

Chuckie: Where're we gonna find a baby in a place like this?

(Pull away to reveal several doctors walking around, carrying babies. The Rugrats, in the usual fashion, break out of the playpen, and crawl out without being caught by Grandpa and Boris, who are too busy playing "Fish".)

Grandpa: You got any queens?

Boris: Go fish!

(The Rugrats enter the newborns' nursery.)

Phil: Hey, a baby store.

Lil: Nice and wiggly.

Tommy: You guys help me pick one my mom will like.

(The song "This World is Something New to Me" begins as babies cry and Chuckie steps on one of the light switches on the floor. For your convenience, the newborns' lines will be identified by the artist singing it.)

Lisa Loeb: Where am I?

B Real: How did I get here?

Patti Smith: Today is very different than yesterday.

Lou Rawls: So this is the world?

Laurie Anderson: I miss my old womb.

Gordon Gano: The wallpaper here just ain't the same.

Fred Schneider: This word is something strange.

Loeb: I'm wet,

Phife: I'm cold,

Lenny Kravitz: (waggles a diaper) I need a change,

All: (tosses the blankets in air) This world is something new to me.

Phife: Oh, my head! What is this? I can't take it!

Dawn Robinson: (on an adjacent monitor) Me either!

(Robotic camera zooms in on next baby.)

Beck: I'm hungry,

Rawls: I'm tired,

Jakob Dylan: (pounds a crib floor to make a pacifier bounce) I'm irritated.

Rawls: But I love the extra leg room.

Smith: (Points to her bellybutton) Man! They cut my cord!

Iggy Pop: (Looks in his diaper) Consider yourself lucky!

Dylan: This world is way too big.

Pop: (baby points at Chuckie) And populated by fuzzy pigs.

All: This world is something new to me.

Schneider: This world is such a gas. (passes gas)

Kate Pierson and Cindy Wilson: P.U., where's your class?

All: This world is something new to me.

(2 baby carriers collide with each other as the Rugrats push them around.)

Beck: Quiet! can't a guy get some shuteye?

Smith: It's so noisy in here.

Pop: I can barely hear myself suck.

(baby grabs a bottle from Chuckie.)

Dylan: The food here tastes pretty good,

Phife: My compliments to the chef.

Robinson: And you gotta holler to get fed.

Rawls: But I could get used to that.

(babies cry, Chuckie falls on floor onto a light switch])

Loeb: This world is way too bright,

Beck: Can't somebody turn down the light?

Beck: (looks inside his diaper) So that's what that thing looks like.

Dylan: All things here are meant for play,

(throws a pacifier; robotic camera follows it.)

Schneider: It's gonna be a real cool day.

All: This world is something new to me.

(Newborns pee in the air to make a fountain, while unidentified babies sing: "da-de-da-da-da", etc.; one of the female babies say "Real cool", while another one says "Look!")

All: This world is something new to me.

(Robotic camera retracts and monitor shuts off as number ends.)

(Grandpa enters the nursery.)

Grandpa: There you are.

Boris: Oy, gevalt! You kinder gave my ticker such a scare.

(They pick up the Rugrats and leave the nursery. As they leave, they shut the light out, and the rainbow from the musical number fades away.)

(Cut to Didi's room. Apparently, the room she has chosen is the usual, ordinary birthing room. Didi's rhythmic breathing continues, though it's now at a faster pace. The staff work on Didi while Dr. Lucy gives orders.)

Dr. Lucy: All right, Didi, you can do it. Push now! (to the staff) Have we got a good reading on the EFM?

(Didi screams. We cut to what seems to be a graphic representation of a baby being born, from a baby's point of view inside Didi's body. In order, we see a blast of blue light, a group of planets, a school of fish mingling in aquatic plantlife, dinosaurs, dolphins and monkeys, Stonehenge, The Sphinx, atoms and finally, bright light, all of them rendered in CGI. These items zoom by while the baby is born. A grand version of the "Rugrats" theme song plays under. After the bright light, we cut back to outside Didi's body, still looking from the baby's point of view, which starts out as out of focus.)

Dr. Lucy: Here it comes.

Didi: Gorgeous!

Stu: Didi, she's so beautiful. She's... she's a boy!

(Baby's eyes are now in focus.)

Didi: Hello, my wonderful, sweet baby boy.

(Switch back to audience's point of view, where we now see the new baby in Didi's arms.)

Stu: Well, I guess we won't be naming him after my mother.

Didi: He doesn't look much like a Trixie. What about my cousin Dylan?

Stu: Dylan Prescott Pickles.

Nurse: Dil Pickles.

Stu: Yeah, I like it.

(Grandpa take Tommy into Didi's room. After being placed next to Dr. Lucy, Tommy gives her his coin.)

Grandpa: Here you go, sprout.

Didi: Tommy, I want you to meet someone very special. This is your brother, Dylan. Dil, this is Tommy.

Tommy: Baby.

Didi: See, they already love each other.

(Dil hiccups before he tweaks Tommy's nose.)

Tommy: Waaaaaahhhhh! Aaaaaahhhhh!

(And finally...)

Tommy, Dil: Aaaaahhhh! Waaaaaahhhh! Aaaaahhhh! Aaaaaaahhhh!

Betty: Well, that's a start.

(Cut to exterior of the Pickles house. Caption "Four Weeks Later", a gong sounds. Cut to the kitchen, where Stu and Didi are in their morning clothes, and the kitchen is a big mess. Didi is literally sleeping in the kitchen sink, among the suds. Dil is crying continuously.)

Stu: Didi, what are we gonna do? He hasn't stopped crying since we brought him home.

(Pan to playpen.)

Phil: Somehow it's not as much fun around here anymore.

Chuckie: Yeah! What is your brother so sad about?

Tommy: I don't know! But whatever it is, it must be really bad.

Lil: Maybe he's broked!

Tommy: What?

Phil and Lil: Broked!

(A monkey's head on a cymbal doll that Lil was holding pops off.)

Tommy: Broked?

(Stu, Didi and a crying with altar Dil walk by.)

Tommy: He's not broked, he's a... just a little loud!

Angelica: Ooh! That baby's getting on my nerves!

(Angelica goes into another room and slams the door. Grandpa is in his chair, sleeping as a fishing show is seen. The goat is next to him, also sleeping. Angelica changes the channel and turns up the volume. The first thing she sees is a commercial. Caption "Coming Soon". The commercial had monkeys and a ringmaster doing tricks in a circus ring.)

Announcer: Direct from Moscow, the Banana Brothers Monkey Circus! Featuring the most amazing monkeys since Brezhnev! This is real monkey business, so Trotsky on down. The Banana Brothers Monkey Circus! (circus logo slides into view)

Angelica [shouts]: GRANDPA! CAN WE GO TO THE CIRCUS?!

(The goat bumps into the armchair's back.)

Grandpa: It's enough of a circus around here already!