Pre-show introduction

This is how the pre-show introduction goes in Ryan's and Crash's Adventures of Kung Fu Panda: The Emperor's Quest.

[The film starts at a theatre]

Ryan F-Freeman: Hey, guys. Great to see you.

Crash Bandicoot: G'day.

Matau T. Monkey: Welcome to the theatre, ladies and gents. It's showtime!

Bertram T. Monkey: Wow, this is gonna be epic!

Evil Anna: Hello? There will be some, like, music, magic and kung fu?

Evil Ryan: thought so. And where would Megatron be when I need him?

Megatron: Right here.

Bertram T. Monkey: Easy, Galvatron. You want Sunset for the show.

Megatron: I know. I'm her bodyguard.

Evil Anna: I hope he's not giving me fruit punch. I knew Sonata and I used too much grape juice.

[Evil Ryan sighs with Adagio]

Evil Ryan: It's not the fruit punch, it's us!

Bertram T. Monkey: But, the punch is good too when you think about it. And I am also Sunset's bodyguard.

Evil Anna: Yep.

[The lights suddenly went out]

Cody Fairbrother: Huh? Wait a second. Penguins?!

Skipper: Sorry, kiddo. Had a few technical difficulties.

Sean Ryan: Ugh! For the last time, Skipper. Not everything is spy work!

Conaria Lacey: And remind me and Codylight why is Galvatron on our side? He is a villain.

Crash Bandicoot: The Prime Megatron "was" a villain. Now he's a hero.

Orla Ryan: Like Ryan is when he saved me, my father and Oisin from our mom, Linda Ryan.

Ryan Tokisaki: You do know about this "Linda" girl, Orla.

Oisin Ryan: Yes. And remember when you pick up the skateboard at the yard sale in Connor's Toy Story 2 adventure?

Ryan Tokisaki: Yep. When Linda finds out that Al haven't got Connor, she fires him.

Cody Fairbrother: Let me see. [places his hand on Kuryan's head and his eyes turn white]

[Flashback to the events of the Irelanders' adventures of Toy Story 2. Al is talking to Linda]

Al McWiggin: Well, I was about to get Connor for you then, I can't buy him.

Linda Ryan: You bumbling, idiotic, worthless fool! I ask you to do one task and you failed me. I should have known better then to put my trust in a guy who named a toy shop after him.

Al McWiggin: Please! Give me another chance!

Linda Ryan: No. You are out of chances. Al McWiggin.. [in Kaos' voice] You're fired!

Al McWiggin: Aw man!

[Flashback ends and Cody's eyes turn to normal]

Cody Fairbrother: Whoa!

Casey Fairbrother: Well let's get on with the show!

[They get into position]

Ryan F-Freeman: Don't panic. Just some uh.. Technical difficulties.

Queen Ryanara: Because of those stupid penguins!

Hypno Star: I hope it will be great, guys.

Bertram T. Monkey: Like Ryan faced Vor one time...

Thomas: Guys, can we just get on with it please?!

[Shrek and Donkey arrive]

Donkey: Hey, everybody. Get ready for the Donkey and Shrek show.

Shrek: [sighs in annoyance] You mean the Shrek and Donkey show.

Marty: [appearing from a crate] Cowabunga! It's the Marty Madagascar Show!

Ryan F-Freeman: Marty?!

Marty: What?

Donkey: Oh, come on. I know you're all here to see me right?

Marty: If you folks came to see anybody, you came to see me.

[Poppy descents via a balloon]

Princess Poppy: But I'm the cutest.

Ryan F-Freeman: Oh no. Not you.

Orla Ryan: What's wrong with adding a Troll princess in the mix?

Meg Griffin: What you mean, Orla?

Orla Ryan: Jessie Primefan said she could join.

Gingy: [appearing as the balloon pops] And I'm the sweetest.

Collide Bandicoot: Of course. Gingerbread man.

Oisin Ryan: At least Ryan did kill Apocalypse before the nukes got launched.

Po: [comes in] Hate to break it to ya, but we're doing a Kung Fu Panda show!

Sci-Ryan: You tell them, Po!

Shrek, Donkey, Marty, Gingy and Princess Poppy: [all talking over each other in dismay]

Gingy: Says who? Huh?

Po: Says everybody here. Right? Especially these guys up front and near that family over there. They're obviously Kung Fu fans. Hey, look, the Helmet of Master Thundering Rhino.

Evil Anna: Like, wow!

Sci-Ryan: Yeah. I guess it is amazing, my love. [kisses Evil Anna on the cheek]

Donkey: Oh, I see your Thundering Rhino and raise ya one talkin' donkey.

Bertram T. Monkey: Donkey, don't ruin the mood.

Po: Wait, look at this! The Sword of Heroes!