Tino's Adventures of Regular Show: Replaced/Transcript

(The episode begins with screenshots of the house, which is completely trashed)

(The phone starts to ring)

Answering Machine (Pops's voice): Hello. You've reached the park. Leave a message at the sound of the beep, and we'll get back to you as soon as we can.

Margaret: Hey, Mordecai; it's Margaret. I was just calling to say that we had a really great time last night. You guys are really good at throwing pizza parties.

Eileen: (In the background) Tell him that Rigby was really funny as the Pizza King!

Margaret: Oh, and Eileen wanted me to ask you to tell Rigby that he was really funny as the Pizza King.

(Mordecai and Margaret laugh)

Both: So stupid.

Margaret: Well, see you later.

(Dial tone)

(Mordecai looks at the clock and checks the time and alarm. The time is 8:30 A.M while the alarm reads 6:40 P.M.)

Mordecai: Oh, dude. Wake up, dude! We're late!

Rigby: Huh?

Mordecai: Dude, come on! We got to clean this place up. We were supposed to meet Benson at the paddleboats two hours ago!

Rigby: But I set an alarm!

Mordecai: Yeah, but for six p.m. instead of six a.m., you idiot!

Rigby: Aw, man! Pizza King not happy!

(A montage of cleaning starts)

Mordecai: Don't forget the water!

Rigby: (Mocking) Don't forget the water. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Mordecai: Let's go!

(They both leave the house in the cart)

Rigby: Dude, we're getting pretty good at throwing pizza parties.

Mordecai: Uh, yeah. But that's not a good thing. We're late for work!

Rigby: Don't worry. Benson'll just yell at us, and then we can go back to work.

Mordecai: Normally, I'd be all, "Everything will be fine after Benson yells at us," but we've been late for our past five jobs, and I think he's starting to get sick of it.

Rigby: Oh, yeah. Maybe he won't be there yet, and we can clean the boats before he finds out.

Mordecai: (Gasps) Dude, who is Benson talking to?

(Mordecai and Rigby spy on Benson through the bushes)

Benson: Alright, Chad and Jeremy. So, I just need you to clean all the paddleboats, and check to make sure that they're all in working order. Oh, and I'm going to need that done by the end of the day.

Jeremy: Not a problem.

Benson: Well, no. It is your problem because- Wait. Did you just say, "Not a problem?"

Jeremy: Yeah, doesn't seem like that hard of a job. I'm sending you a boat cleaning schedule.

Chad: All right.

Jeremy: Got it?

Chad: Yeah, I got it.

Jeremy: Are you sure?

Chad: Yeah. I'm sending a confirmation email that I got it. Did you get it?

Jeremy: Yeah, I just got it.

Chad: All right, we're good. We should be able to finish these boats by this afternoon.

(Benson begins to laugh)

Jeremy: I'm sorry. Are we missing something?

Benson: Oh, no. It's not you. I'm just not used to hearing employees talk like that.

Chad: Sounds like you need new employees.

Benson: (Laughs) Yes. It does sound like I need new employees, doesn't it? And that's where you come in. I think there might be two positions opening up real soon, and if you guys can finish up these boats by five, those two positions will definitely be opening up.

Mordecai: Dude, Benson's totally gonna fire us!

Rigby: What'll we do?

Mordecai: I don't know, but we have to figure something out quick! Come on. Let's go.

(Rigby walks into Benson)

Rigby: Hey, Benson.

Mordecai: Yeah. Hey, Benson. We're sorry we're late. It won't happen again.

Benson: (Laughs) Yeah, I'm sure it won't. But you know what? Don't worry about it, fellas. Everybody makes mistakes. And then those people end up having to pay for those mistakes.

Mordecai: Uh... Well, we can start cleaning the boats.

Benson: No, no. Don't worry about the boats. Chad and Jeremy have it all under control.

Rigby: But cleaning the boats was our job.

Benson: Yeah. It was, wasn't it? Well, that ship has sailed. But look; it's okay. Once Chad and Jeremy finish up, I'll let you know what you can do next.

Mordecai: Do you just want to tell us now so we can get started?

Benson: No, no. I need to get a camera before I tell you, because I want to take a picture of your faces right when I tell you. I really don't want to forget the look on your faces when I tell you. See you later, guys.

(Whistles as he walks away)

Mordecai: Dude, he's totally gonna give our jobs away.

Rigby: Ahh! I don't want to lose my job! What are we gonna do?

Mordecai: The only thing we can do: we just have to figure out a way to stop those guys from doing a good job. That way, Benson won't have to hire them.

Rigby: Alright. What's the plan?

Mordecai: Remember "Two-headed Dinosaur vs. Robo-Bigfoot?"

Rigby: Robo? Oh. OHHH! Dude, they'll never be able to finish those boats!

Mordecai: Hhm! Hhm! No, they will not.

(A moment later)

Mordecai: Hey, guys. How you doing? I'm Mordecai, and this is Rigby.

Jeremy: Jeremy. Nice to meet you.

Chad: Chad. It's a pleasure.

Mordecai: Boat cleaning's a pain, huh?

Jeremy: Nah, not really.

Mordecai: Uh.. Rigby has a question for you.

Rigby: You both have to answer. Who would win in a fight: a two-headed dinosaur or a robotic Bigfoot?

Jeremy & Chad: (Simultaneously) Robotic Bigfoot.

Rigby: Really? One of you wouldn't have the opposite opinion and start arguing about it for three days?

Jeremy & Chad: Nope. Robotic Bigfoot.

Mordecai: What?! But Sasquatch is not a killer!

Jeremy: Maybe, but he'd definitely win in a fight with a dinosaur.

Mordecai: A two-headed dinosaur?

Chad: Two-headed or not.

Mordecai: But the dinosaur would be twice the size and made for fighting! Bigfoot doesn't have the killer instinct.

Jeremy: Three words, dude: Pea-sized brain.

Mordecai: What? Ugh! Dude, we gotta step up our game. They already cleaned half the boats. It'd be a shame if something bad happened and the boats got all dirty again.

Rigby: Yes, it would.

Both: Hhm-Hhm-Hhm-Hhm-Hhm!

(A montage shows Mordecai and Rigby's attempts to sabotage Chad and Jeremy)

Mordecai: (Pulling up in the cart with large bags) Hey, guys. Could you give us a hand with these bags?

(Mordecai, Rigby, Chad, and Jeremy bring a bag of compost to a paddleboat)

Jeremy: Wait. Why are we putting bags of compost on the paddleboats?

(The bag rips and compost spills all over the boat)

Jeremy: Oh, man! We just finished cleaning this one!

Rigby: Oops!

Chad: You ripped the bag on purpose!

Rigby: No, we didn't! It was already like that!

Chad: Then what's that knife doing in your hand?!

Rigby: Uh, that was already there.

Jeremy: Wait! Are you guys deliberately trying to sabotage us?

Rigby: What?! No!

Mordecai: What are you talking about?!

Jeremy: Okay, that's it! Get this bag out of here! Let go of the bag!

Rigby: No, you let go!

Jeremy: Let go!

(The bag rips entirely, spilling compost everywhere)

Chad: Aw, man! Look what you did!

Rigby: We didn't drop it! You guys dropped it!

Jeremy: Get lost!

Mordecai: Why should we get lost? We didn't do anything. If anyone should get lost, it should probably be you.

Jeremy: I said, "Get lost!"

(Shoves Mordecai)

Mordecai: Whoa, what are you doing?

Jeremy: I just shoved you. Now get out of here before this hand turns into a fist and I use it to punch you in the face.

Mordecai: Uh, let's go, Rigby.

Rigby: Dude, what was that all about?

Mordecai: I don't know. I don't want to fight them. I just want them to leave!

Rigby: Well, we can't show up with more compost. No; I think there's only one thing left we can do to get them to stop cleaning those boats.

Mordecai: What?

Rigby: Pizza party.

Mordecai: Dude, you're a genius.

(Rigby is in the house sending out e-vites for a pizza party at the lake)

Mordecai: Alright, the pizzas are on their way. Did you invite everyone?

Rigby: Yeah. I'm going through making sure to invite the coolest people.

Mordecai: Rigby, we don't have time for that. Invite everybody.

Rigby: Everybody?

Mordecai: Dude, this is our last chance. If this party isn't crazy enough to stop those guys from finishing those boats, then we're totally gonna get fired.

Rigby: Good point.

(Rigby clicks on the "Select All" button and then "Invite")

Rigby: I hope this works.

(Up-tempo music starts to play and people start heading towards the lake)

Rigby (continued): Dude, they don't stand a chance.

Mordecai: Ye-ah, they don't!

Both: Hhm-Hhm-Hhm-Hhm!

(A crowd of people start to party and loud music plays. Chad and Jeremy continue to work and seem oblivious to the party.)

Rigby: Dude, it's not working!

Mordecai: Don't worry. They're not gonna be able to resist this party in three.. two.. one.

(A pizza delivery man drives by)

Pizza Delivery Man: Yo, did anybody order some pizzas?

(Everyone starts to cheer and chatter, grabbing pizza slices. Chad and Jeremy are still working, ignoring the party and noise.)

Mordecai: Crank it!

(Rigby increases the volume of the music, and the speakers start to vibrate and eventually fall into the lake. Many lake monsters come up from the water and join the party.)

Purple Lake Monster: Pizza party, up in here! Alright!

(A large brown monster is sitting on a paddleboat, irritating Chad and Jeremy)

Jeremy: Get off of that! We just cleaned it!

Brown Lake Monster: (Laughs) Anyway, as I was saying...

(Three people start partying in a paddleboat and drop a large pizza in the boat)

Jeremy: Hey, knock it off! We just cleaned those!

Partygoer: Chill out and have a slice of pizza, narc! This is a party! Whoo!

Jeremy: That's it! Dude, end this party ''now! ''We're trying to work!

Mordecai: And we're trying to keep our jobs.

Jeremy: What? By throwing some lame pizza party?

Purple Lake Monster: Did you hear that, bro? It sounds like he doesn't like your party. Are you gonna take that from him?

Mordecai: No!

Purple Lake Monster: Awesome!

(The monster pushes Mordecai into Jeremy and Jeremy punches Mordecai in the face)

Purple Lake Monster: Fight!

(Every partygoer starts to fight each other, from throwing pizzas to a lake monster being thrown into the boat house)

Chad: Hey, wanna see my phone?!

(Chad's phone shows a text saying, "You're dead!" to Rigby and punches Rigby in the face. Jeremy and Mordecai start to fight each other until Benson drives over in the cart, an angry expression plastered on his face.)

Benson: Alright! That's enough!

(Jeremy lets go of Mordecai and Chad gets off of Rigby)

Rigby: Hhm-Hhm-Hhm-Hhm!

Benson: This party's over! That's right! Beat it! I don't want to see any your faces here ever again!

(To Mordecai and Rigby)

Benson (continued): Uh, not you two! Mordecai and Rigby, you can get out because you're fired!

(Just as he said he would earlier on, he grabs his camera and takes the photograph)

Rigby: But you were gonna give our jobs away!

Mordecai: We had to do something to stop them from finishing the boats!

Benson: Yeah, and a lot of good that did you! 'Now get lost! You're fired, remember?!'

Rigby: But, Benson--

(Benson snaps a second photo)

Benson: Leave, now!

Rigby: But-

'Benson: (Begins running after Mordecai and Rigby as he takes a third photo) Now, now, now! Leave, now!'

(He begins to calm down and slowly reverts to his normal color scheme)

Benson (continued): Hey, Chad and Jeremy, looks like those positions opened up. So, what do you say? How would you like a job at the park?

Jeremy: (Scoffing) Yeah, right! We didn't get degrees in the Institute of Technical Technology to work at some crazy job like this!

Chad: Good luck finding two suckers dumb enough to take this job!

(Chad and Jeremy grab their phones, activate rockets in them, and fly away from the park)

Benson: Chad! Jeremy! Wait! But- I-

Mordecai: So.. Benson.. Not sure if you're looking, but we know a couple of dumb suckers who are real good at cleaning up pizza parties.

Rigby: Real good.

(Rigby pulls out his own camera and takes a picture of Benson's shocked face as we cut to black)

(End of Replaced)