Trouble in Lumpy Space (LMAoAT)/Transcript

This is the script to Trouble in Lumpy Space (LMAoAT).

[The episode begins at Princess Bubblegum's Mallow Tea Ceremony. She, Finn, Jake, Lumpy Space Princess, and Hot Dog Princess are there.]

Finn: [bouncing:] Whoop! Huh?

Jake: [bouncing:] Whoop!

Lumpy Space Princess: [floating:] Whoopiiieee...

Princess Bubblegum: Cheers, Lumpy Space Princess.

[Everyone cheers.]

Jake: Bouncing!

Finn: Princess, this tea party stinks in a big way! But thanks for the invite!

Princess Bubblegum: Oh, don't worry, Finn. The Mallow Tea Ceremony takes years to master.

Finn: Princess! I think I just now mastered it! [Tea splashes in his face.] One more bounce. [Bounces down] Alright! [Hits the ground] Unh! Tea partying's hard, huh, Jake?

Jake: [Hits the ground] Oof! Yes!

Lumpy Space Princess: What?! No way! It's super easy!

Finn: Lumpy Space Princess, you big faker! You're floating, not bouncing!

Lumpy Space Princess: Fine. I'll prove it. [She stops floating] Huh? Ah! Oh, no! [Bounces down] Oh, snap! [She lands with her teeth on Jake's leg.]

Jake: AAAAAGH!

Lumpy Space Princess: [Muffled:] Oh. Sorry I bit your leg.

Jake: You're still biting me!!

Lumpy Space Princess: Oh, my gosh. Oh, right. Sorry.

Finn: Dude! Your leg!

Jake: This is... new. It's nothin' ominous, though. Just a bump.

Lumpy Space Princess: Nah, that's no bump. It's the early stage of the lumps.

Finn: Is it serious?

Lumpy Space Princess: It just means he's changing into a Lumpy Space guy, on account of my bite. It's just like, um, y'know... werewolf rules? [Imitating a werewolf] Ar, rawr rawr rawr rawr rawr rawr!

Finn: Oh, no!

Jake: What? You think I'm gonna turn all lumpy like her? Get outta here. [Arm suddenly lumps up] Wha? Finn, I think I'm freakin' out!

Finn: Calm down, bud! I'll... I'll sock the lumpiness outta ya!

[Teacup falls on the ground and shatters.]

Princess Bubblegum: Hey, now! [Bouncing down] Royal intervention! Surely there must be an antidote to the lumps.

Lumpy Space Princess: Yeah. There's an antidote, but you have to go all the way to Lumpy Space to get it. And, Jake has to use it by sunset.