Bubble Guppies meet Shrek/Transcript

This is the transcript of Bubble Guppies meet Shrek.

Bubble Guppies meet Donkey

 * Gil: Okay, we made a right at McDonald's and proceeded 7.5 miles South. Now according to the map we should be intercepting... (Donkey bumps into him) A donkey?
 * Donkey: Hide me! Quick you kids have got to hide me!
 * Molly: Uhh, Okay? Deema?
 * Deema: No problem! (and runs off with Donkey just as the guards showed up)
 * Captain of the guards: You there, you kids.
 * Gil: Yes?
 * Captain of the guards: By the order of Lord Farquaad. Have any of seen a donkey passing by?
 * Goby, Oona and Nonny: Nope, sorry.
 * Molly: We don't even know what donkey look likes.
 * Captain of the guards: Oh. Well let's check on the other side of the forest men! (and they ran off)
 * Donkey: Are they gone?
 * Oona: Yeah we've got rid of them.
 * Donkey: Oh thanks kids... (seeing the Guppies looking at their map) Can I- Can I say something to you? Listen you was really, really, something back there... Incredible!
 * Nonny: Excuse me, but are you talking about... us?
 * Gil: Yah!
 * Donkey: Yes I was talking to you. Can I just tell you? You was really great back there man those guards, I thought there was all of that and then you showed up and BAM! They was tripping over themselves like bears in the woods.
 * Molly: Uh, thanks for the compliment?
 * Donkey: Man it's good to be free.
 * Gil: Yes well, I really think we should get back on our trip.
 * Deema: Maybe you can spend the rest of your freedom with your own friends little guy. Ay? (and the guppies left)
 * Donkey: But uh... I don't have any friends. And I'm NOT going out there by myself. Hey wait a minute, I got a great idea; I'll stick with you! (and starts following the guppies) You and me, just think of it. Together we'll scare out of anybody who crosses us.
 * Gil: Gee, thanks... Deema?
 * Deema: You got it.
 * At Deema's Produce Party
 * you want to dance and hauler
 * where every fruit you buy today
 * will only cost one dollar!
 * AYE!
 * Donkey: Ooh wow that was really jazzy. And if you don't mind me sayin' "If that don't work your breath would certainly get the job done" cause you definitely need some Tic-Tacs or something cause you're breath STINKS! (short silence until) Man yo I have plenty of hairs up nose. Just like the time... (Gil covering his mouth then lets go) And then I ate some rotten berries, man I have some strong gas that's eager out of my...
 * Gil: Why, are you following us? (continues walking with his friends)
 * Donkey: I tell you why...
 * Cause I'm all alone
 * there's no one here beside me
 * my problems have all gone
 * there's no one to deride me............
 * but you gotta...
 * Gil: Why I oughta!
 * Donkey: Hey wait, I'm sorry.
 * (Gil growling)
 * Molly: Gilly, calm down. There's no need to get angry.
 * Goby: Yeah, we know how you feel.
 * Deema: So now can we keep the donkey?
 * Oona: Yeah, he is friendly.
 * Nonny: I'm with the girls on this.
 * (Gil is now convinced)
 * Gil: Okay, I'm sorry.
 * Donkey: Hey, don't worry about it.

Lord Farquaad meets Makucha

 * Lord Farquaad: Who are you?
 * Makucha: I'm Makucha. Seems you and I have something in common.
 * Lord Farquaad: Go on.
 * Makucha: We both want respect and power. I'm gathering the biggest army I could get. Join me, together we'll get revenge... and so much more.
 * Lord Farquaad: You. Can count me in.

Ogres are like onions

 * Deema: Nonners, what are we doing again?
 * Nonny: For the tenth time Deema, we've been through this. We're going to go fight a dragon and rescue a princess just so Farquaad will give Shrek his swamp back.
 * Shrek: You know what? Maybe there's a good reason why I like Nonners more than each of you.
 * Donkey: I don't get it Shrek. Why don't you pull some of that ogre stuff him? You know throttle him and lay siege his fortress. Grind his bones to make your bread, you know the whole ogre trip.
 * Gil: Or you could've made a soup from his freshly peeled skin.
 * Deema: Or you could've shaved his liver or squeeze the jelly from his eyes and put it on your toast.
 * Shrek: Oh, I know what. Maybe I could've decapitated an entire village and put they're heads on a plate, got a knife, cut open they're spleen and drink they're fluid... Does that sound good to you?
 * Gil, Molly, Nonny, Goby, Deema, Oona and Donkey: Uh... No, not really no.
 * Shrek: For your information; there's a lot more to ogres than people think.
 * Molly: Example?
 * Shrek: Example? Okay um... "Ogres are like onions".
 * Gil: They stink?
 * Shrek: Yes. No!
 * Molly: Do they make you cry?
 * Deema: Is it because of the gas?
 * Nonny: They spoil your stomach?
 * Shrek: No.
 * Donkey: Oh, you leave them out of the sun and they get all brown start sprouting those little white hairs.
 * Shrek: No, layers. Onions have layers, ogres have layers. Onions have layers... You get it we both have layers! (throws the onion on the ground and leaves)
 * Gil, Molly, Nonny, Goby, Deema, Oona and Donkey: Oh!
 * Donkey: You both have layers. (sniffing the onion)
 * Oona: Wait, I thought everybody hates onions.
 * Nonny: Well, most people would agree but there's a few people that love onions.
 * Gil: Wait, I know one thing everybody loves; Pizza. In fact the whole world loves pizza. Pizza has layers.
 * Shrek: NO! YOU DENSE IRITATING MINIATURE BEAST OF BURDEN, OGRES ARE LIKE ONIONS, NOT PIZZA! Bye-bye. See ya later. (then walks off)
 * Deema: You know, what else everybody likes; Ice cream. Have you ever met a person you say "Hey, let's get some ice cream" they say "Oh yeah, I love ice cream" Ice cream has layers.
 * Shrek: NO! YOU DENSE IRITATING MINIATURE BEAST OF BURDEN, OGRES ARE LIKE ONIONS, NOT ICE CREAM! Bye-bye. See ya later. (then walks off)
 * Donkey: You know, what else everybody like; Parfait. Have you ever met a person you say "Hey, let's get some parfait" they say "No, I don't like no parfait" Parfait is delicious.
 * Shrek: NO! YOU DENSE IRITATING MINIATURE BEAST OF BURDEN, OGRES ARE LIKE ONIONS, END OF STORY! Bye-bye. See ya later. (then walks off)

Shrek's sad story

 * Gil: Hey Shrek, what are we gonna do when we get our swamp back?
 * Shrek: Uh, "Our swamp"?
 * Gil: Yeah, because we got to know each other now and then.
 * Shrek: We? Gil, there's no "We" there's no "Our". There's just me and my swamp. And the first thing I'm gonna do is build a 10-foot wall around my land. (falls asleep)
 * Gil: Gee, thanks for cutting me deep Shrek.
 * Donkey: You know what think? I think this whole wall thing is just a way to keep somebody out.
 * Shrek: No. You think?
 * Molly: Is something wrong Shrek?
 * Shrek: Never mind, Molly.
 * Gil: Oh! It's another one of those onion things.
 * Shrek: No, this is one of those drop it and leave it alone...
 * Nonny: Then why do you hate talking about it?
 * Shrek: Why do you all WANT to talk about it?
 * Deema: Because you're blocking?
 * Shrek: I'm not blocking.
 * Donkey: Oh yes you are.
 * Shrek: You guys, I'm warning you...
 * Gil: Who are you trying to keep out? Just tell us Shrek. Who!
 * Shrek: EVERYONE! OKAY?! (short silence)
 * Donkey: Now, we're getting somewhere.

The gang forgives Shrek

 * Shrek: Guys? (seeing his friends doing something) What are you doing?
 * Gil: Remember, you said you want a 10-foot wall Shrek?
 * Shrek: Well, yeah...
 * Molly: Well, that's exactly what we're building for you.
 * Shrek: But the wall's suppose to go around my swamp.
 * Deema: It is around your half silly. That's your half and this is our half.
 * Shrek: Oh, your half.
 * Goby: Well, let's put this gently; we did help rescue Fiona.
 * Oona: And we did half the work.
 * Donkey: And right now we get half the booty. Now hand me that big ol' rock the one that looks like you're head.
 * Shrek: Back off!
 * Gil, Molly, Goby, Deema, Oona and Donkey: No. You back off!
 * Shrek: This is my swamp!
 * Gil, Molly, Goby, Deema, Oona and Donkey: Our swamp!
 * Shrek: Let go...
 * Gil: Big
 * Molly: Stupid
 * Donkey: Ugly friend!
 * Shrek: Fine!
 * Donkey: Oh!
 * Gil: Hey, wait. Get back here Shrek. I'm not done with you!
 * Shrek: Well I'm through with you.
 * Gil: No way. You know, that's the thing about you and everybody else. It goes like this "Oh hi, I'm something no one apricates". Well guess what? (locks Shrek's door) Now's the time to stop talking and paying attention!
 * Molly: Gilly's right. You are mean to everyone, you insult them and you don't apricate anything the world does!
 * Goby: Like the fact you pushed us around.
 * Oona: And you even push us away from you.
 * Shrek: Oh yeah, well if I treated you so bad. How come you came back?
 * Donkey: Because that's what friends do.
 * Gil, Molly, Goby, Deema, Oona and Donkey: They forgive each other!
 * Shrek: Oh yeah. Yeah, you're right you guys. I forgive you... FOR STABBING ME IN THE BACK! (slams his bathroom door)
 * Gil, Molly, Goby, Deema, Oona and Donkey: (anger groan)
 * Nonny: You know what Shrek, I'm real disappointed in you. I understand your mad but it's not okay to be scared of your own feelings.
 * Shrek: Go away!
 * Nonny: And still, you keep arguing for no reason, just like with Fiona. But all she did was like... then love you.
 * Shrek: Love me?! She said "I was ugly, a hideous creature", I heard you guys last night.
 * Nonny: Actually she wasn't talking about you. She was talking about... Uh, somebody else. (Shrek opens his bathroom door)
 * Shrek: She wasn't talking about me? Well who was she talking about?
 * Nonny: I'm sorry, Shrek. We just can't. After all the mean things you did to us...
 * Shrek: Nonny...
 * Nonny: No!
 * Shrek: You guys...
 * Gil, Molly, Goby, Deema, Oona and Donkey: No!
 * Shrek: Okay, fellas. I'm sorry.
 * Oona: What did you say Shrek? (Shrek gives a sad sigh)
 * Shrek: I'm sorry. I guess I am just a big stupid ugly ogre. Can you forgive me?
 * Molly: Yes.
 * Goby: Of course.
 * Deema: You know that's right.
 * Oona: Sure.
 * Nonny: Absolutely. (Molly looking at Gil)
 * Gil: Okay, I'm sorry too.
 * Donkey: Hey that's what friends are for, Gil.
 * Shrek: Right. Friends?
 * Gil, Molly, Nonny, Goby, Deema, Oona and Donkey: Friends.