The Irelanders' Adventures of Toy Story/Transcript

This is the script for The Irelanders' Adventures of Toy Story.

Connor Lacey: Well, time to go miniature.

Chris Kratt: Tell me again why we're using the Miniaturizer for this adventure, Connor.

Connor Lacey: Because, Chris, the characters we're visiting today aren't humans like you or me. They're toys. Which is why we are using it to shrink down to their size.

Twilight Sparkle: What?

Martin Kratt: You heard him.

Norman Price: That's stupid. Toys are playthings. They're not alive.

Fireman Sam: Ah, that's where you're wrong, Norman Price. These ones are special. Whenever humans aren't around, they come to life.

Connor Lacey: That's right.

Elvis Cridlington: You don't usually believe in weird things, Sam.

Fireman Sam: Not normally, but for once I actually agree to a weird thing.

Connor Lacey: Everyone, all together now!

The Irelanders: Miniaturize!

[They shrink down to size of toys]

Connor Lacey: Right, let's go.

[They set off]

[In a kid's bedroom, boxes made to look like buildings are place in different areas. A kid holds a Mr. Potato Head toy in front of one of them]

One-Eye Bart: Alright, everyone! This is a stick-up! Don't anybody move! Now empty that safe!

[The kid shakes a piggy bank and a few coins fall out]

One-Eye Bart: [chuckles] Money, money, money! [kisses the coins]

Bo Peep: Stop it. Stop it, you mean old potato.

One Eye Bart: Quiet, Bo Peep! Or your sheep get run over!

Sheep: Help! Baa! Help us!

Bo Peep: Oh, no! Not my sheep! Somebody do something!

[Then the kid picks up a cowboy doll and pulls the string in it's back]

Voice box: Reach for the sky.

One-Eye Bart: Oh, no. Sheriff Woody.

Boy: (doing Woody's voice) I'm here to stop you, One-Eye Bart.

One-Eye Bart: D'oh! How did you know it was me?

Boy: (doing Woody's voice) Are you gonna come quietly?

One-Eye Bart: You can't touch me, sheriff. I've brought my attack dog, with a built in forcefield!

Boy: (doing Woody's voice) Well, I brought my dinosaur who eats forcefield dogs!

[A toy dinosaur eats a slinky dog]

Boy: (doing Woody's voice) You're going to jail, Bart. Say goodbye to the wife and tatertots.

[A baby girl picks up and shakes Mr. Potato Head]

Boy: You've save the day again, Woody. [He pull Woody's pull string]

Voice box: You're my favorite deputy.

[The title "The Irelanders' Adventures of Toy Story" comes up as You've Got A Friend in Me starts playing]

Boy: Come on, let's round up the cattle.

[The boy turns two boxes with cows drawn on them and uses a skipping rope as a lasso]

[He then kicks a box out of his way]

Boy: Round them up, Cowboy.

[He put Woody on a remote controlled car and drove them into a box]

Boy: Hey, cowboy.

[Woody is later seen riding on the boy's back]

Boy: Come on, Woody. [places him on the banister and he slides down it into his arms]

[The boy and Woody spin in a chair]

Boy: Whoa!

[He saw Woody on the chair and put him down on the edge of the chair]

Boy: Score!

[He walk over to his mum]

Boy: Wow! Cool!

Mrs Davis: What do you think?

Boy: Oh, this looks great, Mom!

Mrs Davis: (laughs) Okay, birthday boy.

Boy: We saw it at the store, I asked you for it!

[The boy is very excited about his special]

Mrs Davis: One, two- Four. Yeah, I think that's gonna be enough.

Boy: Can we leave this up until we move?

Mrs Davis: Sure, we can leave it.

Boy: Yeah.

Mrs Davis: Now go get Molly. Your friends are going to be here any minute.

Boy: Okay. It's party time, Woody. Yee-haw!

[He sets off up stairs]

Molly: [Squealing]

Boy: Howdy, little lady.

Molly: [Squealing]

Woody: Somebody's poisoned the waterhole.

Boy: Come on, Molly. Oh, you're getting heavy. See you later, Woody.

[He shuts the door behind him. The portal opens in the middle of the room and the Irelanders come out]

Sarah Jones: Wow.

Raven Queen: This is amazing.

Kim Possible: Just check out that wallpaper.

Connor Lacey: [notices Woody] Look! Up there!

[Woody comes to life and sits up]

Woody: Pull my string, the birthday party's today? Okay, everyone. Coast is clear.

[The Irelanders watch as various other toys in the room come to life, including Mr. Potato Head]

Mark (Robocar Poli): When you said these things came to life when people aren't around, you weren't kidding.

Norman Price: I believe you now.

Martin Kratt: Whoa.

[On the bed, Woody spots the Irelanders]

Woody: [to the other toys] Hold up! Is this the new toys over there?

[The Irelanders have been spotted by the toys in the room]

Connor Lacey: Who, us?

Woody: Yes. Howdy, my name is Woody. Did Andy get you?

Twilight Sparkle: No. We're actually humans, ponies, vehicles and other beings.

Woody: Humans?!

Connor Lacey: Relax, we're here on business.

Woody: It's not that. You're not supposed to know that we can come alive.

Connor Lacey: But we're cool with that.

Woody: How do you know we're alive anyway?

Connor Lacey: I'm a realm traveler. I'm supposed to know this stuff.

Chris Kratt: We use the miniaturizer to shrink down to the size of toys if you're wondering.

Woody: I see. Look, humans are not supposed to know that toys are alive. We come to life when they're not around.

Violet Parr: But we're cool.

Lightning McQueen: Yes. No need to get anxious.

Woody: I know. (to Connor) We're OK with you knowing about toys come to life but don't tell Andy or anyone about us coming alive. OK?

Pinkie Pie: Our lips... [making a zip motion with her hoof] are sealed.

Connor Lacey: We promise not to tell Andy or anyone else about you toys coming to life.

Woody: Good. Make yourselves at home.

[The Irelanders have went to the room]

Mr Potato Head: Ages 3 and up. It's on my box. Ages 3 and up. I'm not supposed to be babysitting Princess Drool.

[The toys bustle about whilst they walk and talk. Hamm the Piggy bank is putting his coins back into his slot. Mr Potato Head comes with his parts all mixed up]

Mr Potato Head: Hey, Hamm. Look, I'm Picasso!

Hamm: I don't get it. (he walks off)

Mr Potato Head: You uncultured swine! What're you lookin' at, ya hockey puck?

[He walks off, leaving the hockey puck with arms and legs confused]

Woody: Hey, Sarge, have you seen Slinky?

Sarge: Sir! No, sir!

Woody: OK. Hey, thank you. At ease.

[He and the Irelanders jump down from the bed and look around]

Woody: Hey, uh, Slinky?

[Slinky, a dog with a slink between his head and back appears, pushing a checker board with red and black disks]

Slinky: Right here, Woody. I'm red this time.

Woody: No. Slink.....

Slinky: Oh, well, all right. You can be red if you want.

Woody: N-Not now, Slink. I got some bad news.

Slinky: Bad news?!

Woody: [holds Slinky's mouth shut] Ssssh!

[The toys stop and look at Woody, Slinky and the Irelanders]

Woody: Just gather everyone up for a staff meeting and be happy.

Slinky: Got it.

Woody: Be happy.

Slinky: Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

Woody: Staff meeting, everybody! Snake, Robot, podium duty.

[Snake hides under the bed]

Robot: Hey!

[He reaches under the bed and brings Snake out]

Woody: You guys can join the staff meeting and help set things up if you like.

Applejack: We'd be honored. Come on, y'all.

Stick Man: On it, AJ.

[A sketch board walks past Woody who stops in a Western battle way]

Woody: Hey, Etch and Applejack. Draw!

[They draw with Etch sketching a picture of a gun]

Woody: Oh! Got me again.

Applejack: Wow. That's the best drawin' I ever saw.

Connor Lacey: Good job, Etch.

Woody: Etch, you've been working on that draw. Fastest knobs in the West.

The Mask: Cool drawing.

Slinky: Got a staff meeting you guys. Come on. Let's go.

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