Georges Hautecourt Reunites Madame

(An old half-broken car with sputtering and backfiring engine comes closer and stops at Madame's door)

Georges (singing) Ta-ra-ra-boom-de-ay

Ta-ra-ra-boom-de-ay

(he gets out of the car): Oh.

Ta-ra-ra-boom-de-ay

Ta-ra-ra-boom-de--

(he almost falls down): Oops! Not as spry as I was when I was 80, eh?

Ta-ra-ra-boom-de-ay

(he enters the house): Ta-ra-ra-boom-de-ay!

Edgar: Ah, good day, sir. Madame is expecting you, sir.

[Edgar takes the scarf from his neck]

Georges: Evening, evening, Edgar. Ta-ra-ra-boom-de-ay (he throws his hat on Edgar's head) Ta-ra-ra-boom-de-ay

Edgar: Oh, another ringer, sir. You never miss.

Georges (walking upstairs): Come on, Edgar. Last one up the stairs is a nincompoop.

Edgar: Could we take the elevator this time, sir?

Georges: That bird cage? poppycock! Elevators are for old people. Oops!

[he almost falls, but Edgar catches him]

Edgar: Oh, uh-- may I give you a hand, sir?

Georges: You haven't got an extra foot, have you, Edgar?

[He starts laughing]

Edgar: That always makes me laugh, sir. Yes. Every time. [Now they both almost fall] Whoa! Oh! Let go of my cane! Careful, sir. Oh please! I'm frighfully sorry, sir!

Georges: Don't panic Edgar. Upward and onward! Whee!

Edgar: Oof!

Georges: Am I going too fast for you, Edgar?

Edgar: Oh please, sir, hold on!

{dissolve to Madame before a large mirror}

Madame: There now, Duchess. That's better. We must both look our best for Georges. He's our oldest and dearest friend, you know.

[She pets Duchess, who meows once, then knock on the door interrupts]

Madame: Come in.

[Edgar steps in, panting, with his pants falling down]

Edgar: Announcing... Monsieur.. Georges... Hautecourt!

[Georges walks in and the kittens start playing with him]

Madame: Oh, my goodness, Edgar. I know it's Georges.

Georges: Adelaide, my, my dear.

Madame: So good to see you, Georges.

[She stretches her hand for Georges to kiss it, but he mistakingly kisses Duchess' tail]

Georges: Ah, still the softest hands in all of Paris, eh?

[Duchess smiles, covering her mouth with paw]

Madame: You're a shameless flatterer, Georges

[Berlioz is spinning the hand of an old patephone and Habanera from Carmen

starts playing]

Georges: Adelaide, that, that music, it's from Carmen, isn't it?

Madame: That's right. It was my favorite role.

Georges: Yes, yes! It was the night of your grand premiere that we first met, remember?

Madame: Oh, indeed I do.

Laywer: And how we celebrated your success! Champagne, dancing the night away.

[he starts to dance, humming the tune from Carmen, then he takes Madame to join the dance]

Madame: Oh, Georges!

[Madame and Georges dance for a while, Madame is also holding Duchess, Marie and Toulouse are playing around their legs, Berlioz is spinning on the vinyl disk jumping over the needle at each turn, untill he fails. He yelps, needle scratches the disk and stops]

Madame: Oh, thank goodness, just in time. [She sits on a sofa, tired] Ah, Georges, we're just a pair of sentimental old fools [In the background, Marie jumps on the sofa before Toulouse does and glances at him like she won, Georges keeps dancing in the room] Now, Georges, do be serious. I've asked you to come here on a very important legal matter.

Georges: Wha--? Oh! Splendid! Splendid! [He sits behind a table] Who do you want me to sue, eh?

Madame: Oh, come now, Georges, I don't wish you to sue anyone. I simply want to make my will.

[Georges puts on very strong glasses and makes serious face]

Georges: Will, eh? Will. Well. Now, then, who are the beneficiaries?

Madame: Well, as you know, I have no living relatives,

[We see that, through a long hose in the wall, Edgar is listening from his room]

And naturally, I want my beloved cats to be always cared for. And certainly no one can do this better than my faithful servant, Edgar.

Georges: Edgar? Adelaide, you mean to say you're leaving your vast fortune to Edgar? Everything you posess? Stock and bonds? This-- This mansion? Your country chateau? Art treasures, jewels and--

[Edgar is smiling, dancing and sending kisses to the listening tube]

Madame: No, no, no, Georges, to my cats.

Georges:To your cats?

Edgar gasps: Cats?

Madame: Yes, Georges. I simply wish to have the cats inherit first. Then, atthe end of their life span, my entire estate will revert to Edgar.

Edgar: Cats inherit first! And I come after the cats. I, me, after-- no. It's not fair! Ooh! I mean, each cat will live about 12 years. I can't wait. And each cat has nine lives, that's four times twelve multiplied by nine times. No it's less than that. Anyway, it's much

longer that I'd ever live. I'll be gone. No. Oh, no. They'll be gone. I'll think of a way. Why, there are a million of reasons why I should! All of them dollars. Millions. Those cats have got to go.

[he tears his pants, taking them on]