The Irelanders' Adventures of Planes/Transcript

This is the script for The Irelanders' Adventures of Planes.

[The film starts with the Disney logo and two fighter jets flew into view]

MAN: (ON RADIO) Look alive. Contact appears to be heading 315 miles. Speed 430, Angels. Approximately 2,000.

[The words World of Cars appears as the two planes soar through the sky. The title "The Irelanders' Adventures of Planes" appears in the sky. The two planes fly through the clouds, looking for someone in particular]

Plane 1: What's taking this guy so long? Is he really as good as they say he is?

Plane 2: No. Better.

Plane: Oh, yeah!

[A orange blur speeds past them]

Plane 1: Whoa! Who was that?

[The orange blur reveals to be a orange and white crop-duster called Dusty Crophopper flying fast towards them]

Dusty Crophopper: [cheekily] Why hello, ladies. You ready to loose?

Plane 2: Last one to the water tower buys a round of fuel.

Dusty Crophopper: Tell you what, I'll give you guys a head start. You're gonna need it!

Plane 1: Later, loser.

[The two jets dive into the clouds]

Dusty Crophopper: 1, 1000. 2, 1000, oh, that's enough.

[Dusty dives into the clouds after the jets over the lush green fields, over a river and over a town shaped like a plane. He rev up and blow out white smoke in the two jets' faces]

Dusty Crophopper: See ya, suckers! Eat my dust!

Leadbottom: Dusty!

[Dusty groans as he snapped out of his daydream, accidentally spray Leadbottom, a old biplane with brown fertilizer]

Leadbottom: [coughs] Pay attention! You're daydreaming again!

Dusty Crophopper: Aw, me? No, no, no, no, no. Okay, yes. But, you know, come on, Leadbottom. Really? How hard is this? Fly straight, turn around. Fly straight, turn around.

Leadbottom: Oh-ho-ho-ho, are you disrespecting the sweet sias of ariel application?

Dusty Crophopper: Look, I am more than just a crop-duster.

Leadbottom: Oh, don't go flap-jawing about that Flings Around the Planet air-racing nonsense again.

Dusty Crophopper: Excuse me, it's called the Wings Around the Globe Rally.

Leadbottom: Oh, for the love of Peterbilt.

Dusty Crophopper: And it's not nonsense. I've got a tight-turn radius and a high-power-to-weight ratio.

Leadbottom: Oh, yeah, oh, yeah. And you know what else you've got?

Dusty Crophopper: What?

Leadbottom: A screw loose! I mean, why would you wanna give up crop-dusting? Blue skies, no air traffic and that tangy scent of Vitaminamulch.

[He sprays some brown fertilizer on the crops]

Leadbottom: Mmm. Just like Momma used to spray. Delicious.

Dusty Crophopper: [recoils in disgust] Oh. Uh, they say that sense of smell is the first thing to go.

[As Leadbottom is talking, Dusty hears a train whistle in the distance]

Dusty Crophopper: Oh, quitin' time.

[He flies off]

Leadbottom: (scoffs) A crop-duster wanting to be a racer. If you ask me, more racers should wanna be crop-dusters. (singing) I got some minamulch, yeah! Minamulch~

[He sings to himself as he continues to dust the field. Meanwhile, Dusty flies over Propwash Junction, a town filled with planes and cars going about their business. Connor Lacey and his teammates arrived at the edge of the runway]

Mater: Here we are; Propwash Junction.

Connor Lacey: Wow. This is quite a sight.

Lightning McQueen: Ka-chow! Looks like you're really telling the truth after all, Mater.

Mater: Yep. I told you so.

Kim Possible: This could be a perfect place to hide Connor since he's still wanted.

Bob Parr/Mr Incredible: True but we need to figure out how to clear his name and free his mother from jail.

Holley Shiftwell: Bob's right. For now, we need to make sure that the authorities don't caught him and arrest him to jail.

Filmore: So, where are we gonna stay, man?

Connor Lacey: I don't know, Filmore but any place to hide from the police is better than nothing.

Ron Stoppable: Hey, maybe we can ask those two vehicles over there at that gas station?

Rufus: Uh-huh.

Connor Lacey: Good idea, Ron.

Kim Possible: Let's go.

[They went towards the gas station called the Fill N Fly where a green fuel truck named Chug is filling a bunch of fuel cans for a grey navy forklift named Sparky]

Chug: Euck! Now adays they got soybean fuel, switch grass fuel, alga fuel? Come on!

Sparky: Ugh, healthy? No thank you.

Chug: Tell me about it. What's next, Pistachio Propane?

Sparky: What are you? Nuts?

Chug: For my money, there's nothing like good old-fashioned corn fuel.

Sparky: Oh, yeah, you betcha.

Chug: I even made up a slogan.

Sparky: Ooh, slogans are good.

Chug: [clears his throat] "Corn. It gives you gas."

[Sparky thinks of the slogan for a bit]

Sparky: Catchy. I like that.

Chug: Me too.

Connor Lacey: Uh, excuse me?

Chug: Huh? Oh. Didn't see you guys there. Who are you?

Connor Lacey: I'm Connor Lacey.

Kim Possible: I'm Kim Possible.

Ron Stoppable: I'm Ron Stoppable.

Lightning McQueen: I'm Lightning McQueen.

Mater: My name's Mater. Like tuh-mater. But without the tuh.

Finn McMissle: Finn McMissile, British Intelligence.

Holley Shiftwell: Shiftwell. Holley Shiftwell.

Cruz Ramirez: I'm Cruz Ramirez.

Francesco Bernoulli: I'm Francesco Bernoulli.

Luigi: I am Luigi and this is Guido.

Guido: [greeting in Italian]

Fillmore: Name's Fillmore.

Sarge: Sarge reporting for duty.

Sally: I'm Sally Carrera. But you can call me Sally.

Sheriff: The name's Sheriff.

Lizzie: I'm Lizzie.

Red: (smiles)

Flo: I'm Flo.

Ramone: Name's Ramone.

Bob Parr/Mr Incredible: I'm Bob Parr. Otherwise known as Mr Incredible!

Helen Parr/Elastigirl: I'm Helen Parr. Elastigirl alternatively.

Violet Parr: I'm Violet Parr.

Dash Parr: Name's Dashiell Robert Parr. Dash for short. And this is Jack-Jack.

Jack-Jack: [giggling]

Lucius Best/Frozone: Name's Lucius Best. My superhero identity is Frozone.

Maisie Lockwood: I'm Maisie Lockwood.

The Mask: I am best known as the Mask.

Mack: I'm Mack. I transport Cruz and McQueen to races.

Everyone: We're the Irelanders!

Chug: Whoa. Nice to meet you. I'm Chug.

Sparky: And I'm Sparky.

Connor Lacey: Nice to meet you two.

Chug: (to Connor and the human race) I never saw anything like you lot before.

Violet Parr: We're what you call humans. We're the ones who built cars and other road vehicles.

Sparky: Yeah, but how come we never heard about your race?

Maisie Lockwood: Probably because we're from another realm where we come from.

Chug: I see. What brings you here? Propwash Junction is usually pass through these days.

Kim Possible: We just came to check out this place and to hide Connor from the authorities.

Ron Stoppable: He got framed for killing his father and siblings and his mother, Mai Lacey is in prison.

Chug: Whoa, seriously, that is messed up.

Dash Parr: Yep. As of now, we're trying to help clear his name and free his mother from prison.

Sparky: Wow. Can we help in any way?

Connor Lacey: Well, I suppose you can help. The more the merrier.

Mater: (to Sparky) Hey, I know you. You're Sparky who helped Skipper teach me how to fly!

Sparky: Hey, Mater! Good to see you again.

Chug: Wait. You know that tow truck, Sparky?

Sparky: Yep. He wanted to fly and Skipper helped him achieve that in time to take part in the Falcon Hawks' air show.

Chug: Oh. I never know that. He's been in his hanger for years.

Lightning McQueen: And yet he helped Mater?

Chug: Well, as far as I know in all my years here but never known he help Mater.

Maisie Lockwood: That is a long time.

Lightning McQueen: Wait, wasn't I there? Mater said I saved him from crashing.

Sparky: Guess I forgot to tell Chug that.

Connor Lacey: I wonder why Skipper's being in his hanger and not fly like any other planes.

Chug: No one knows. Hey, would you guys like to meet my friend, Dusty Crophopper?

Helen Parr/Elastigirl: Sure. [looking around] But where is he?

Sparky: He must be flying back here after crop dusting.

Chug: Yep. (to Sparky) Here you go, Sparky. You're all set.

Sparky: Catch you later, Chug.

[Sparky rolls away with the fuel cans. Then Dusty's voice is heard on the radio in Chug's shed]

Dusty Crophopper: This is Dusty Crophopper to Chug. Over.

[Chug rolls back quickly into his shed followed by the Irelanders and put his wheel on the microphone pedal to talk to Dusty]

Chug: Uh, Chug isn't here. Come on, use the new call sign.

Dusty Crophopper: Right, right, right. This is, uh, Strut Jetstream calling Turbo Coach Truck-zilla. Ready for practice?

Chug: (putting on a headset) You betcha, Strut! Ha-ha.

[He speeds out of his shed and the Irelanders follow him. Dusty flies above an hanger at the end of the runway]

Dusty Crophopper: Ha-ha! Whoo!

[We pan down to the hangar's window. Inside, a World War 2 warplane, Skipper, is watching Dusty with an grumpy look on his face]

Skipper: Ugh, young punk!

[He pull back the curtain]

Chug: All right, buddy, I got you in sight. Now let's start with some corn-row sprints. Drop and give me 20!

[Dusty flies over fields of crops and trees. Skipper opens his blind to watch Dusty do some tricks]

Chug: Come on, buddy, keep it going! Ooh, nice turn.

Dusty Crophopper: What else you got?

Chug: Okay. Now, let's try some treeline moguls.

[Dusty goes up and down between some trees]

Dusty: Yeah!

Chug: All the way up and down. Don't be dogging it. That's how you do it. Ooh, yeah! Looking good! Uh-huh.

Connor Lacey: Wow! He's good, I'II give him that.

Mater: Yep. He sure is.

Chug: Okay, adjust your angle of bank with your alien irons!

Dusty Crophopper: You mean "ailerons"?

Chug: Oh, yeah.

[Then Dusty's exhaust burst much to his dismay]

Dusty Crophopper: Oh, great.

[Later, Dusty is at the Fill N Fly repair shed being checked over by a purple forklift mechanic named Dottie]

Dottie: Oil lines and oil cooler check out.

Dusty: Mmm-hmm.

Dottie: AN-8 fittings look fine.

Dusty Nice.

Dottie: Wait a minute. You've worn out your main oil-seal.

Dusty: Oh, really?

Dottie: That kind of damage comes from extremely high speeds.

Dusty: Hey!

Dottie: Pushing the engine to the red line for prolonged periods of time.

Dusty: That would be unwise!

Dottie: But that's not you. You're a crop duster and all you do is just dust crops at very low speeds.

Dusty: Yep. Low and slow.

Dottie: Unless you've been racing again!

Dusty: No! What, me? No.

[Then Chug and the Irelanders rush in, excited]

Chug: Oh, man, Duster, you were in the zone, where a Saturn rocket couldn't catch you! Ballistic! We're talking light speed. Light speed, here! You're going to tear it up at the qualifier this weekend. Yea... Oh, Shelby.

Connor Lacey: Uh, Chug, this forklift heard us and doesn't look happy about what we just said there.

[Dottie turns to Dusty who looks at her wide eyed]

Dusty: Um, I don't know.

Dottie: Dusty, you're not built to race. You're built to dust crops. Do you know what will happen if you push it too far? Wing flutter, metal fatigue, turbine failure.

Chug: Turbine failure?

Dottie: (pretending to be Dusty) Oh, no, I'm going down! Why didn't I listen to Dottie?

Chug: Yeah, why don't you listen to Dottie?

Dottie: (pretending to be Dusty) She's the smartest mechanic in the world! Oh, my gosh!

Ron Stoppable: What?

Dottie: (pretending to be Dusty) The orphanage!

Maisie Lockwood: [gasps] No! Not the orphanage!

Dottie: (pretending to be Dusty) Kids, out of the way! Kaboom!

Chug: (covering his eyes with his nozzle) The kids!

[Dottie did a crash and explosion then fall on her side, pretending to be dead. Everyone looks surprised at this performance]

Dusty: Wow! That was vivid and specific. And exactly why I need you to come with us to the qualifier.

Dottie: You're unbelievable.

Dusty: [to Chug and the Irelanders] You hear that? I'm unbelievable.

The Mask: That act is quite hilarious. (laughs)

Kim Possible: Yeah but also very scary.

Chug: The orphans! (sobbing)

Dottie: (sighs and roll her eyes)

Mewtwo: Chug, she was pretending. It wasn't real.

Connor Lacey: So there's no need to sob or anything.

[The scene changes to Dusty, Chug and the Irelanders inside Dusty's hanger, watching Brent Mustangburger, one of the announcers from the World Grand Prix on the TV]

Brent Mustangburger: Tune in, in two weeks for the start of the Wings Around the Globe.

Dusty Crophopper: You know, I think we've got a really good shot at this, buddy.

Chug: Oh, yeah! Especially if I finish this book by then.

Francesco Bernoulli: Francesco is surprised to see Brent Mustangburger on TV.

Dusty Crophopper: Oh, yeah, almost forgot. Saw the World Grand Prix.

Lightning McQueen: You did?

Dusty Crophopper: Yep.

Chug: The flame outs in Japan, the pile up in Porta Corsa, all of it.

Mater: Even the Lemon battle in London?

Dusty Crophopper: Yep. We heard about it and we never knew they would be such trouble.

Finn McMissile: True. Their leader turned out to be the WGP's creator, Miles Axelrod.

Chug: Whoa. That is quite an unexpected thing.

Holley Shiftwell: We know. But we managed to stop them from wrecking the World Grand Prix and causing the race cars to crash.

Connor Lacey: And afterwards, Mater was knighted by the Queen herself.

Dusty Crophopper: Wow. That's cool.

Mater: Yes siree.

[Then a show comes up on TV]

Chug: Oh! I love this show!

Brent Mustangburger: The 10 best crashes of all time.

[A plane fell off the end of the ramp]

Chug: Whoa! Oh.

Dusty: Not good.

Chug: How does that happen?

[The 9th crash shows a plane crash into one of the inflatable poles]

Dusty, Chug and Irelanders: (explains)

Dusty Crophopper: That is not going to buff out.

The Mask: Tell me about it.

Chug: You know, this might not cover everything you could run into out there.

Dusty Crophopper: What are you getting at?

Chug: (stammers) I don't know. I'm just wondering if maybe we need, uh, some help.

Ramone: From who, man?

Chug: Oh, well, like from the Skipper.

Dusty Crophopper: That old Corsair at the end of the runway?

Mater: The one who helped me fly?

Chug: Sure, he's a war hero.

Dusty Crophopper: He's an old crankshaft!

Bob Parr/Mr Incredible: Why would we need help from him?

Chug: My buddy, Sparky, says the Skipper was a legendary flight instructor in the navy. That's right. He knows stuff.

Mater: Dadgum. I never know that Skipper used to be in the navy besides teaching vehicles how to fly.

Maisie Lockwood: That is quite amazing.

Dusty Crophopper: He's been grounded for decades. Why would I want to be coached by a plane who doesn't even fly?

Chug: At least he's a plane.

Cruz Ramirez: Yeah. Cause after all, Chug's a fuel truck, not a plane.

Sarge: True. You need a flying expert to teach you stuff and what better vehicle to teach you things is a plane.

Lightning McQueen: Sarge is right. We road vehicles can't teach you flying tricks to race. A plane has to teach you, flying or grounded.

Brent Mustangburger: The number 1 crash of all time.....

[A plane crash]

Chug: Oh, man.

Plane: I'm okay,

[Then an explosion happens]

Brent Mustangburger: Oooh! That's got to hurt!

Connor Lacey: That poor plane.

Helen Parr/Elastigirl: I hope he survived.

Kim Possible: (to Dusty) Now do you understand why you need Skipper to help you train for the race?

[Dusty nods in shock. Later, he, Chug and the Irelander approaches Skipper's hangar at night]

Chug: They say he shot down 50 planes. I heard stories about his squadron, the Jolly Wrenches.

Dusty Crophopper: Mmm-hmm.

Chug: They were the roughest, toughest, meanest flyers in the navy. Ruthless killers who showed no mercy.

Dusty Crophopper: Uh, wait, so.....

Chug: No mercy!

Maisie Lockwood: Why would they do that?

Chug: They would shoot you as soon as look at you.

Maisie Lockwood: Oh, that doesn't sound very nice.

Dusty Crophopper: (using his wing to ring the doorbell) I hope you're right about this. (He and the Irelanders see that Chug has disappeared) Chug!

Ron Stoppable: Where is he?

[Chug peaks out of a pile of oil drums]

Chug: I'II wait here.

[The door opens and Skipper comes into view with an grumpy look on his face]

Dusty Crophopper: Uh... Hey, there, Skipper. (NERVOUS CHUCKLE) Say, I'm trying out for the Wings Around the Globe Rally. And I know you can't fly anymore, but, you know, they say, "Those who can't do, teach." So... (gulps) Before I ask you something, I'm sure you remember Mater who you taught to fly once, at least, right?

Mater: Yeah, Skipper. Surely you remember me from last time we met. You weren't so grumpy last time. I'II let Dusty ask you something now.

Dusty Crophopper: Okay, what I mean to say is, you're not a truck. So, I was wondering if you would train me?

[Skipper said nothing and shut the door in their faces]

Connor Lacey: Well, that is just rude.

Chug: Go on, he's warming up to you.

[He hides in the shed as Dusty rings the doorbell again]

Dusty Crophopper: So, I heard you shot down 50 planes.

Skipper Riley: You looking to be number 51?

Dusty Crophopper: Uh... No. No, no, no! Wait, wait. I just... I figured, with my guts and your glory...

Skipper Riley: Your guts would be a grease spot on a runway somewhere. Go home. You're in over your head, kid.

Dusty Crophopper: Look, you flew all those...

[Skipper shut the door in his face again and turn off the lights, leaving them in complete darkness]

Dusty Crophopper: (sighs)

Chug: Let's try the back door.

Violet Parr: Ugh, Chug, we can't try again. Skipper already rejected us twice.

Lightning McQueen: I don't get it. Why did he teach Mater to fly and not Dusty?

Connor Lacey: I don't know why he's so grumpy.

Frozone/Lucius Best: We might as well continue with Dusty's training without Skipper I suppose.

[The next day, Dusty flies over to the qualifier with Chug and The Irelanders driving down the road with Dottie in the trailer]

Chug: Hello, Lincoln! (honk horn) Hey, Dusty!

Irelanders: Wow!

Dottie: I don't know how you talked me into coming to this.

Dusty Crophopper: Now, come on, Dottie.

Guido: (speaking Italian)

Dottie: What did he say?

Luigi: He said that you need to be more positive and supportive of your friend.

Dash Parr: Yeah.

Chug: Wow! I don't believe it. A Red Tail P-51!

Dusty Crophopper: Oh, man! A Sea Fury!

Chug: Check it out!

[A biplane flies over them, leaving a trail of smoke in the sky]

Dusty Crophopper: Wow.

[Two little planes called Ned and Zed make an announcement]

Ned: Ladies and gentleplanes, may we have your attention, please? Kindly direct your windscreens to the heavens above and give a warm welcome to our special guest.

[Up in the sky, a green and black plane is leaving a green trail]

Ned: The Prince of Propellers. When he's speeding, he's leading.

Ripslinger: Get my good side, fellas.

[Car photographers take lots of photos of Ripslinger as he flies through the sky]

Ned: When he's grinning, he's winning.

Ned and Zed: The one and only...

[Ripslinger appears through the green smoke and landed on the runway]

Ripslinger: Ripslinger!

[Fireworks shines behind him]

Ripslinger: You're caught in the Rip-tide! Ha-ha! Thanks for coming out.

[He rolls off with Ned and Zed behind him]

Ripslinger: Who wants a picture? All right, one at a time.

Dottie: (coughing) Well, with all that self-promotion, at least he's modest.

Dusty Crophopper: Dottie, that's Ripslinger.

Connor Lacey: Who is Ripslinger?

Chug: He's captain of of Team RPX. They call him...

Chug and Dusty Crophopper: The Green Tornado!

Dusty Crophopper: Oh, he's so good, he's pre-qualified.

Maisie Lockwood: Whoa. Never know that competitors can get pre-qualified when they become so good at sports.

Connor Lacey: Yeah.

Dusty Crophopper: Oh. And those two, Ned and Zed.

Dusty and Chug: The Twin Turbos!

Dusty Crophopper: They're world-class racers.

Ron Stoppable: Whoa.

Dottie: You know, I hear they used to be one plane and were separated at birth.

Sheriff: Well, that is quite surprising.

Chug: Wow. I wish I was separated at birth.

Mater: Really?

Chug: Yep.

Ron Stoppable: (in Rabbit's voice) Now, why would you want that?

Chug: Because I would like to have a brother of my exact appearance and own.

Connor Lacey: Well, that would be great, Chug.

[Later, an official tug announces the trials of the qualifier]

Rover: Okay, people. This is the last of four time trials being held worldwide. Today's qualifying round is one lap around the pylons. The top five finishers will qualify for the Wings Around the Globe Rally. Oh, yeah. Fonzarelli, you're up, my man.

Fonzarelli: (spits and rolls to the runaway)

Rover: Oh, man! That's nasty.

[Fonzarelli rolls up to the runaway and take off. Dusty, Connor and their friends watch with awe]

Rover: And he's through the start gate! The racers must pass through the blue pylons on the horizontal and around the red pylons on the knife-edge. Now he's coming back to Gate Three! Nicely done, my man. Setting himself up a little high through the blue pylons there, lining up for the quadro. He's taking a hard right with a 270-degree high-G turn! Yeah! Back all the way around. Whoo!- Cleanly through. Ha! Look at you, man!

Dusty Crophopper: That guy's good.

Lightning McQueen: Ka-chow!

Rover: It doesn't get much better than that. All right. Good speed. Lining up for the three-pylon chicane, amazing pitch control. Smooth! Fast! Clean! He's going into the final turn, into the half-Cuban 8, pulling an aggressive 9.2 Gs. Attacking the climb! Wow. Now that's some speed. Coming out of the Cuban 8 at the end of a fantastic first run, people. A 01.24. 16.

[Fonzarelli pass through the gate and landed on the runway]

Rover: A very good time for the other racers to try and beat.

[Dusty looks up in determination. A red plane flies up to the course]

Rover: Fast, tight through the pylons. He's got a great pace going, here. Hes just a half a second behind.

[Then the plane's engine starts to smoke and he drops down to the runway]

Rover: Oh! Engine failure! Out of the race. Bye-bye.

Crowd: Oh!

Rover: Great performance. Watch the clock here. I can't wait. Lining up for the Blue Gate.

[A plane clip through one of the inflatable pylons, bursting it]

Rover: Oh, no, he did not! That's a major penalty.

[A black plane fails and back down on the runway]

Rover: Sorry, dude. Eighth place.

Black plane: (GROANS)

Rover: Talk about fast. Coming out the Cuban 8.

[Chug fills Dusty up with fuel]

Chug: Fueled and ready, man.

[A forklift rolls over to Dusty]

Forklift: Okay, bud, you're up.

Dottie: Good and tight. All set.

Rover: It's been a wonderful day here, and we're down to our last competitor.

Dusty Crophopper: (breaths in and out) This is it.

Maisie Lockwood: Good luck.

Rover: From Propwash Junction, Strut Jetstream.

Dottie: Strut Jetstream?

Chug: Yep. Awesomest call sign ever. (CHUCKLES) It was my idea.

Dottie: Ah. That explains it.

Lizzie: Well, that is quite interesting. You never know when a call sign may come in handy.

Rover: Hey, ag-plane! Landscaping was yesterday, man. Get off the runway. We're racing, here. Second call for Strut Jetstream.

Dusty Crophopper: No, no, no!

Rover: Looking for...

Dusty Crophopper: Yo! I'm Strut Jetstream.

Rover: You are Strut Jetstream?

Dusty Crophopper: Yep.

Rover: A crop duster? Man, what's going on here? Is everybody getting to fly today? Man, your momma must have had high hopes for you. Now, you know you are built for seed, not speed.

Sarge: Hey, that doesn't matter. If Dusty wants to race in the qualifier, let him do it.

Ripslinger: You have got to be kidding me. That farmer's going to race?

Zed: (laughing) Seriously? With a prop that small?

Ned: Maybe he races that leaky old fuel truck next to him.

Chug: Who are you calling leaky? (pointing his nozzle at Ned and Zed) I'II leak on you if you don't check your intake.

Dottie: Don't lower yourself to their level.

Finn McMissile: Yes, it's never a good idea to provoke violence. Even if they're a