Chez Pig/Transcript

Chez Pig is 5th episode from Winnie the Pooh goes Back at the Barnyard. Here's the Transcript.

The Beginning
(Everyone sitting on for brunch and Otis is telling a joke)

Otis: So he says to the farmer " Hey if your hand are running colder, you should be milking me into a sugar cone"!

(Everyone broke out laughing)

(Freddy squirt milk out of his nose)

Freddy: Oh when I gonna learn not to drink milk when you tell us stories, Otis.

Pip: Soon I hope.

Rabbit: Same her.

Otis: Alright,people. And now a toast. Thou I am not rich and famous, I'm one lucky guy. Cause we're all here together...

Everyone: Now let's eat some pie! Pie, pie,pie,pie,pie!

(Pig comes in with pie)

Pig: Did someone say "pie"?

(Everyone cheering)

Pig: Guys. A little respect for the lady that made this possible. (pulls out a picture) Grammy Pig. Sunday brunch wouldn't be the same without your truffle pie.

Everyone: Thank you, Grammy Pig.

Otis: Can we start eating now?

Pig: Knock yourself out!

(Everyone started eating)

Sunset Shimmer: This pie is delicious

Timmy: You said it.

Cosmo: This is better than Wanda's coking.

Pooh: Especially with honey on top.

Freddy: This pie is so good, its making me hallucinate.

Peck: Oh yeah, what do you see?

Freddy: A car heading straight for us.

Rabbit: That is a real car!

Tigger: Make a break for it!

(Everyone scream and hid)

(The pizza dudes smelled the Pies)

Pizza Dude 1: Dude, that smell of awesomeness is like coming from these pies.

Pizza Dude 2: Dude, pie me!

Pizza Dude 1: Here man this outta cover it.(gives money) Dude, I think the cashier is invisible.

Pizza Dude 2: Awesome.He could be anywhere,man. Let's us do a custom one for Dr.Invisbo.

(The dudes did a laugh and leaves the money)

Otis: Guys...Town meeting...now.

(cut to barnyard)

Otis: So, I say we convert the barn into resturant for one night, sell Pig's pies to humans and rake in the cash!

(Everyone in a agreement)

Duke: I gotta admit, I have my eye on a vibrated doggie bed!

Freddy: I can have a solid gold panic room.

Sunset Shimmer: I can buy that new guitar.

Timmy: I can buy lot of Chin's comic Books.

Pooh: I can buy more honey.

Cosmo: I have my eye on those pants with hot meat in em.

Abby: Or we could save the money for a rainy day.

(Everyone in depression)

Abby: Ooh, ooh, or buy a hot tub!

(Everyone excited)

Wanda: Now you talking!

Pig: I don't know Otis. I don't sure if Grammy want me to sell her pies for money.

(Everyone shouting hot tub)

Pig: Well, uh... I'd be in full control of the kitchen and it would have to be done very tastefully.

Otis: Piglington, you have my solemn pledge that this new restaurant will be the height of good taste.

(Cut the Barn into a Restaurant)

Otis: Welcome to Farmer Otis's Truffle Bucket.

(They should the hold restaurant)

Otis: There you go. Eh, eh, eh, no touching the Animal Costumes.

Bessie: Three Truffle Pies...

Women: And I'd like a side salad.

Bessie: Yeah, well, I'd like a cruise to Barbados. But that's not happening either.

(Abby and Sunset Shimmer jump on the table)

Abby and Sunset Shimmer: Howdy, partners!

Sunset Shimmer: Who's thirsty?

Abby: Toss those glasses in the air

(Abby and Sunset Shimmer pour milk in the glasses)

Man: Wow, how she able shoot so well in that bulky costume?

Sunset Shimmer: Well she a real talking cow.

(The family laughs)

Freddy Cosmo and Peck: We heard it's your birthday so...

Freddy: It's your birthday, make a mess...

Peck: It's your birthday, where a dress.

Cosmo: It's your birthday you look swell

Peck: Its your birthday, tip us well

(In the kitchen)

Bessie: Order up, six more pies!

Tigger: You got it! Six more pies, Pig!

Pig: Duke and Wanda, I need six more ingredients for vat three! Lets go!

(Duke hands Pig a radish)

Pig: No no no, I said vat three!

Duke: You know, it might be a tad easier if we wasn't blindfolded

Wanda: Yeah why cant we look

Pig: I told you guys, I cant debouched Grammy secret ingredient.

(The three moves to a pot)

Timmy: This feels kind of hot.

Wanda: More like boiling.

Duke: This is boiling water isn't it?

Pooh: Yep.

(Wanda Duke and Timmy screamed that wakes the farmer)

Farmer: What in the name of potatoes?

(Pip and Piglet are in the vending machine)

Pip: To the left. Left!

Piglet: Not on the knife set.

Pip: All right, Toy binoculars. That's only kind of lame.

(Piglet looks through the binocular and sees the farmer coming)

Piglet: Uh-oh. We have a problem.

Pip: Yep. (Whistles) Farmer!

(Otis acts quickly)

Otis: Excuse me, distinguished guests can I have everyone attention? It's that special time at the truffle bucket play our favorite game

Workers: All around the truffle cafe, the people don't except it, they turn their head for a lightly surprise, pop...

(Otis catapulted the customers)

Workers: They're ejected.

(They cleaned up and when the farmer came it there was nothing)

Farmer: Huh, what's this pie tin doing here?

(The farmer went back into the house)

Pooh: He's gone!

(Otis opens up the restaurant again)

Otis: welcome back, folks. Hey,who's hungry after a long break? That got the blood flowing.

Man: My collarbone's been separated, but... What a hilarious anecdote this'll make.

The Middle
(The Next Morning)

Otis: Lincoln, Hamilton, Lincoln... Oh-ho, hello, Mr. Franklin. Hey, guys, this is enough for a hot tub and a Platinum Hoof Scraper.

Timmy: So, how much money we had here?

Cosmo: $10,100,346.

Wanda: Wow, Cosmo. I can't beleive it that you know that.

Pooh: How you know that?

Cosmo: I love monkeys!

Wanda: And we're back.

Eeyore: It figures.

Otis: That's right answer. That means we'll buy anything we want.

Pig: Oh, that's great, now we can close the restaurant.

Otis: Whoa whoa whoa, what do you mean close the restaurant? What have you been bathing in failure juice?

Pig: Well wasn't that the plan?

Otis: The only plan we need is where we going to put the 14 surround sound home theater after we haul in more greens!

Pip: Yeah, don't forget the highlight court

Duke: And the burn treatment center

Sunset Shimmer: And my new guitar

Cosmo: And my meat pockets

Otis: The sky the limit. Then we buy the sky and use it as advertising space

(Everyone cheering)

(Pig feeling a little guilty)

Sunset Shimmer: You okay, Pig?

Pig: What, yeah I'm fine.

Tigger: Poor Pig.

Narrator: 3 weeks later....