Bubble Guppies meet Shrek/Transcript

This is the transcript of Bubble Guppies meet Shrek.

Bubble Guppies meet Donkey

 * Gil: Okay, we made a right at McDonald's and proceeded 7.5 miles down South. Now according to the map we should be intercepting... (Donkey bumps into him) A donkey?
 * Donkey: Hide me! Quick. you kids have got to hide me!
 * Molly: Um, Okay? Deema?
 * Deema: No problem! (and runs off with Donkey just as the guards showed up)
 * Captain of the guards: You there, you kids.
 * Gil: Yes?
 * Captain of the guards: By the order of Lord Farquaad. Have any of you seen a donkey passing by?
 * Goby, Oona and Nonny: Nope, sorry.
 * Molly: We don't even know what a donkey look likes.
 * Captain of the guards: Oh. Well, let's go check on the other side of the forest men! (and they ran off)
 * Donkey: Are they gone?
 * Oona: Yeah we've got rid of them.
 * Donkey: Oh thanks kids... (seeing the Guppies looking at their map) Can I- Can I say something to you? Listen you was really, really, something back there... Incredible!
 * Nonny: Excuse me, but are you talking about... us?
 * Gil: Yah!
 * Donkey: Yes I was talking to you. Can I just tell you? You was really great back there man those guards, I thought there was all of that and then you showed up and BAM! They was tripping over themselves like bears in the woods.
 * Molly: Uh, thanks for the compliment?
 * Donkey: Man it's good to be free.
 * Gil: Yes well, I really think we should get back on our trip.
 * Deema: Maybe you can spend the rest of your freedom with your own friends little guy. Ay? (and the guppies left)
 * Donkey: But uh... I don't have any friends. And I'm NOT going out there by myself. Hey wait a minute, I got a great idea; I'll stick with you! (and starts following the guppies) You and me, just think of it. Together we'll scare out of anybody who crosses us.
 * Gil: Gee, thanks... Deema?
 * Deema: You got it. At Deema's Produce Party, you want to dance and hauler, where every fruit you buy today will only cost one dollar! AYE!
 * Donkey: Ooh wow that was really jazzy. And if you don't mind me sayin' "If that don't work your breath would certainly get the job done" cause you definitely need some Tic-Tacs or something cause you're breath STINKS! (short silence until) Man yo I have plenty of hairs up nose. Just like the time... (Gil covering his mouth then lets go) And then I ate some rotten berries, man I have some strong gas that's eager out of my...
 * Gil: Why, are you following us? (continues walking with his friends)
 * Donkey: I tell you why... Cause I'm all alone, there's no one here beside me, my problems have all gone, there's no one to deride me... but you gotta...
 * Gil: Why I oughta!
 * Donkey: Hey wait, I'm sorry.
 * (Gil growling)
 * Molly: Gilly, calm down. There's no need to get angry.
 * Goby: Yeah, we know how you feel.
 * Deema: So now can we keep the donkey?
 * Oona: Yeah, he is friendly.
 * Nonny: I'm with the girls on this.
 * (Gil is now convinced)
 * Gil: Okay, I'm sorry.
 * Donkey: Hey, don't worry about it.

Shrek's home

 * Shrek: Well, it's no wonder you only have them as friends.
 * Donkey: Wow. Only a true friend, would be that truly honest.
 * Nonny: Actually, a true friend is someone you tell your troubles to.
 * Shrek: Listen, little creatures. Take a look at me, what am I? (Gil looking at Shrek)
 * Gil: Uh... Very green?
 * Shrek: NO! (Deema looking at Shrek)
 * Deema: Uh... Kinda stinky?
 * Shrek: NO! (Donkey looking at Shrek)
 * Donkey: Uh... Really tall?
 * Shrek: NO! I'm an ogre. You know "Grab your torch and pitch-forks"! Doesn't that bother you?
 * Gil, Molly, Nonny, Goby, Deema, Oona and Donkey: Nope.
 * Shrek: Really?
 * Gil, Molly, Nonny, Goby, Deema, Oona and Donkey: Really, really.
 * Shrek: Oh.
 * Gil: By the way, what's your name?
 * Shrek: Uh... Shrek. (and walks off)
 * Deema, Nonny and Donkey: Shrek?
 * Oona: I've never heard of someone named Shrek before.
 * Shrek: Well,... now you have. (and continues walking)
 * Donkey: Well, you know what we like about you Shrek? You got the kind of "I don't care what nobody thinks to me" thing.
 * Gil: And that's not a bad thing to sneeze at.
 * Donkey: I know right? (suddenly they see something)
 * Deema: Wow, what a nice craftsman ship.
 * Goby: Yeah, what is that?
 * Shrek: "That" would be my home.
 * Donkey: Oh. And it is lovely, just beautiful. You know, you are quite a decorator. It's amazing what you've done such a mindless budget. (sees a boulder) I like that boulder. That is a nice boulder. (resumes walking)
 * Molly: So, what's with all the signs Shrek?
 * Shrek: I like my privacy.
 * Deema: Wow, that's nice... What's privacy?
 * Nonny: Privacy is the state of being free from public attention.
 * Donkey: You know what I like my privacy too. That's another thing we have in common. Like, I hate it when you got somebody in your face, you try to get me and they don't leave and then there's that big awkward silence. (awkward silence) Can we stay with you?
 * Shrek: Uh, what?
 * Oona: Can we please stay with you?
 * Shrek: Of course.
 * Deema: Really?
 * Shrek: No.
 * Gil and Molly: No?
 * Donkey: Please, I don't wanna go back there. You don't know what it's to consider a freak. (everyone starring at him) Well, maybe you do. But that's why we gotta stick together, you have to let us stay!
 * Gil, Molly, Nonny, Goby, Deema, Oona and Donkey: Please! Please!
 * Shrek: Okay! Okay. But one night only.

Lord Farquaad meets Makucha

 * Lord Farquaad: Who are you?
 * Makucha: I'm Makucha. Seems you and I have something in common.
 * Lord Farquaad: Go on.
 * Makucha: We both want respect and power. I'm gathering the biggest army I could get. Join me, together we'll get revenge... and so much more.
 * Lord Farquaad: You. Can count me in.

Ogres are like onions

 * Deema: Nonners, what are we doing again?
 * Nonny: For the tenth time Deema, we've been through this. We're going to go fight a dragon and rescue a princess just so Farquaad will give Shrek his swamp back.
 * Shrek: You know what? Maybe there's a good reason why I only like Nonners.
 * Donkey: I don't get it Shrek. Why don't you just pull some of that ogre stuff on him? You know throttle him, lay siege his fortress, grind his bones to make your bread, you know the whole ogre trip.
 * Gil: Or you could've made a soup from his freshly peeled skin.
 * Goby: Or you could've shaved his liver.
 * Deema: Or you could've squeeze the jelly from his eyes and put it on your toast.
 * Shrek: Oh, I know what. Maybe I could've decapitated an entire village and put they're heads on a plate, got a knife, cut open they're spleens and drink they're fluids... Does that sound good to you?
 * Gil, Molly, Nonny, Goby, Deema, Oona and Donkey: Uh... No, not really no.
 * Shrek: For your information; there's a lot more to ogres than people think.
 * Oona: Example?
 * Shrek: Example? Okay um... "Ogres are like onions".
 * Gil: They stink?
 * Shrek: Yes. No!
 * Molly: Do they make you cry?
 * Deema: Is it because of the gas?
 * Nonny: They spoil your stomach?
 * Shrek: No.
 * Donkey: Oh, you leave them out of the sun and they get all brown start sprouting those little white hairs.
 * Shrek: No, layers. Onions have layers, ogres have layers. Onions have layers... You get it we both have layers! (throws the onion on the ground and leaves)
 * Gil, Molly, Nonny, Goby, Deema, Oona and Donkey: Oh!
 * Donkey: You both have layers. (sniffing the onion)
 * Oona: Wait, I thought everybody hates onions.
 * Nonny: Well, most people would agree but there's a few people that love onions.
 * Gil: Wait, I know one thing everybody loves; Pizza. In fact the whole world loves pizza. Pizza has layers.
 * Shrek: NO! YOU DENSE IRITATING MINIATURE BEAST OF BURDEN, OGRES ARE LIKE ONIONS, NOT PIZZA! Bye-bye. See ya later. (then walks off)
 * Deema: You know, what else everybody likes; Ice cream. Have you ever met a person you say "Hey, let's get some ice cream" they say "Oh yeah, I love ice cream" Ice cream has layers.
 * Shrek: NO! YOU DENSE IRITATING MINIATURE BEAST OF BURDEN, OGRES ARE LIKE ONIONS, NOT ICE CREAM! Bye-bye. See ya later. (then walks off)
 * Donkey: You know, what else everybody like; Parfait. Have you ever met a person you say "Hey, let's get some parfait" they say "No, I don't like no parfait" Parfait is delicious.
 * Shrek: NO! YOU DENSE IRITATING MINIATURE BEAST OF BURDEN, OGRES ARE LIKE ONIONS, END OF STORY! Bye-bye. See ya later. (then walks off)
 * Donkey: Parfait maybe the most delicious thing on the whole bad planet.
 * Shrek: You know, I think I preferred you're humming.
 * Donkey: Do you have a tissue or something cause I'm makin' a mess.
 * Goby: Why's that?
 * Donkey: Just the word "Parfait" made me start slopping.

Crossing the bridge

 * Deema: Sure, it's big enough. But look at the location itself. (laughs with Shrek)
 * Donkey: Uh, Shrek- Uh, remember when you said that- that ogres have layers?
 * Shrek: Oh aye.
 * Donkey: Well, I have a bit of a confession to make, um... (gasps) Donkeys don't have layers. We- we wear our fear right out on there our sleeves.
 * Gil: Wait a minute, donkeys don't have sleeves.
 * Donkey: You know what I mean.
 * Molly: Then, why aren't you telling because your afraid of heights?
 * Donkey: Oh, I'm just a little uncomfortable about being on a rickety bridge over a boiling lake of lava.
 * Shrek: Come on, Donkey. We're right here beside ya.
 * Gil: Shrek's right, all we have to do is just tackle that dirty old dragon one little baby step at a time.
 * Donkey: Really?
 * Gil, Molly, Nonny, Goby, Deema, Oona and Shrek: Really, really.
 * Donkey: Okay. That makes me feel so much better.
 * Molly: Just keep moving Donkey.
 * Shrek: And whatever you do, don't look down.
 * Donkey: Okay, don't look down. Don't look down. Keep on moving. Don't look down. Don't look down. Keep on moving. Don't look down.

Facing off the Dragon

 * Donkey: You afraid?
 * Shrek: No. But, SHH!
 * Donkey: Oh good, me neither. (seeing the others leave then yelps and runs towards them) Cause there's nothing wrong with being afraid.
 * Gil: What do you mean?
 * Donkey: Fear's a sensible response to an unfamiliar situation. But to make a dangerous situation I might add.
 * Deema: What dangerous situation?
 * Donkey: With a dragon that breathes fire, eats knights and breathes fire. If sure doesn't mean you're a coward if you're a little scared, you know what I mean?
 * Gil: I totally know what you mean.
 * Deema: Who cares? We sure as heck ain't no cowards, I know that. (bumps into skeletons while letting herself, Gil and Donkey yelp)
 * Shrek: Donkey, Gil, Deema, two things, Shut... up.
 * Gil: Shut up?
 * Deema: Don't worry, Shrek. We'll stay silent.
 * Shrek: Good, now Donkey. Take Gil and Bubble Puppy and see if you three can find us some stairs.
 * Gil: Stairs?
 * Donkey: Stairs? I thought we was lookin' for the princess.
 * Shrek: The princess will be up the stairs in the highest room in the tallest tower.
 * Oona: What makes you think she'll be there Shrek?
 * Shrek: I read it in a book once.
 * Donkey: Cool. You handle the dragon, we'll handle the stairs.
 * Gil: Actually, it's a little dark in here. I'm gonna find us a light switch.
 * Donkey: Got it, you find the light switch, I'll find the stairs. Oh, I'll find those stairs I'll whip them butt to. That's right, those stairs won't which way they're going. (opens a huge door) I'm gonna take drastic steps. Kick to the curb. Don't mess with me I'm the stair master. I've mastered the stairs. I wish I step right here. Right here, now I step all over it. (Meanwhile with Molly, Goby, Deema, Oona, Nonny and Shrek)
 * Molly: Well. At least we know where the princess is.
 * Deema: Well, this is easy.
 * Nonny: Maybe, too easy.
 * Shrek: Yeah, where's...
 * Gil: The light switch? (flips a switch making something happen) Huh, that's not it. Okay, not to panic. Not to panic. (flips another switch turning the lights on) There, now that's better.
 * Donkey: Uh, Gil?
 * Gil: Yeah?
 * Donkey: What was that first switch for?
 * Gil: I don't know. I think it unleashes the dragon.
 * Donkey: Cool, may I?
 * Gil: Be my guest.
 * Donkey: DRAGON! (Gil screaming)

Shrek's sad story

 * Gil: Hey Shrek, what are we gonna do when we get our swamp back?
 * Shrek: Uh, "Our swamp"?
 * Gil: Yeah, because we got to know each other now and then.
 * Shrek: We? Gil, there's no "We" there's no "Our". There's just me and my swamp. And the first thing I'm gonna do is build a 10-foot wall around my land. (falls asleep)
 * Gil: Gee, thanks for cutting me deep Shrek.
 * Donkey: You know what think? I think this whole wall thing is just a way to keep somebody out.
 * Shrek: No. You think?
 * Molly: Is something wrong Shrek?
 * Shrek: Never mind, Molly.
 * Gil: Oh! It's another one of those onion things.
 * Shrek: No, this is one of those drop it and leave it alone...
 * Nonny: Then why do you hate talking about it?
 * Shrek: Why do you all WANT to talk about it?
 * Deema: Because you're blocking.
 * Shrek: I'm not blocking.
 * Donkey: Oh yes you are.
 * Shrek: You guys, I'm warning you...
 * Gil: Who are you trying to keep out? Just tell us Shrek.
 * Shrek: EVERYONE! OKAY?! (short silence)
 * Donkey: Now, we're getting somewhere.
 * Shrek: Oh, for the love of Pete!
 * Gil: Hey, what's your problem Shrek? Why are you against the whole world?
 * Shrek: Look I'm not the one with a problem, okay? It's the world that seems to have a problem with me!
 * Molly: The world is against you?
 * Shrek: Yeah, well you see... People take one look at me and go "Ah, help run a big stupid ugly ogre". (sad sigh) They judge me before they even know me. That's why I'm better off alone.
 * (all of a sudden the movie was paused by Timon and Pumbaa)
 * Pumbaa: Timon, are you crying?
 * Timon: I'm fine. (weeping) I- I just have something in my eye.
 * Pumbaa: Here, blow. (Timon blows his nose)
 * Timon: Here, Pumbaa. (weepingly breathes)
 * Pumbaa: Gee, thanks.
 * Timon: Okay. I'm better. (resuming the movie)
 * Gil: Hey Shrek, when we met... we didn't think you were big, stupid and ugly.
 * Molly: We all didn't.
 * Shrek: Thanks guys.
 * Deema: So, what other stories are up there?
 * Shrek: Well, there's um... Pegasus. You know, the flying horse?
 * Donkey: Okay, okay. I see- I see it now. Yeah, the big shiny one right there. Right, that- that- that one there?
 * Gil, Molly, Nonny, Goby, Deema, Oona and Shrek: That's the moon.
 * Donkey: Oh, okay.

The gang forgives Shrek

 * Shrek: Guys? (seeing his friends doing something) What are you doing?
 * Gil: Remember, you said you want a 10-foot wall Shrek?
 * Shrek: Well, yeah...
 * Molly: Well, that's exactly what we're building for you.
 * Shrek: But the wall's suppose to go around my swamp.
 * Deema: It is around your half silly. That's your half and this is our half.
 * Shrek: Oh, your half.
 * Goby: Well, let's put this gently; we did help rescue Fiona.
 * Oona: And we did half the work.
 * Donkey: And right now we get half the booty. Now hand me that big old rock. The one that looks like your head.
 * Shrek: Back off!
 * Gil, Molly, Goby, Deema, Oona and Donkey: No. You back off!
 * Shrek: This is my swamp!
 * Gil, Molly, Goby, Deema, Oona and Donkey: Our swamp!
 * Shrek: Let go...
 * Gil: Big
 * Molly: Stupid
 * Donkey: Ugly friend!
 * Shrek: Fine! (the gang fell on their faces)
 * Gil: Hey, wait. Get back here Shrek. I'm not done with you!
 * Shrek: Well I'm through with you.
 * Gil: No way. You know, that's the thing about you and everybody else. It goes like this: Oh hi, I'm something no one apricates. Well guess what? (locks Shrek's door) Now's the time to stop talking and paying attention!
 * Molly: Gilly's right. You are mean to us, you insulted us and you don't apricate anything the world does!
 * Goby: Like the fact that you pushed us around.
 * Oona: And you even push us away from you.
 * Shrek: Oh yeah, well if I treated you so bad. How come you came back?
 * Donkey: Because that's what friends do.
 * Gil, Molly, Goby, Deema, Oona and Donkey: They forgive each other!
 * Shrek: Oh yeah. Yeah, you're right, you guys. I forgive you... FOR STABBING ME IN THE BACK! (slams his bathroom door)
 * Gil, Molly, Goby, Deema, Oona and Donkey: (anger groan)
 * Nonny: You know what Shrek, I'm real disappointed in you. I understand your mad, but it's not okay to be scared of your own feelings.
 * Shrek: Go away!
 * Nonny: And still, you keep arguing for no reason, just like with Fiona. But all she did was like... then love you.
 * Shrek: Love me?! She said "I was ugly, a hideous creature", I heard you guys last night.
 * Nonny: She wasn't actually talking about you. She was talking about... somebody else. (Shrek opens his bathroom door)
 * Shrek: She wasn't talking about me? Well who was she talking about?
 * Nonny: I'm sorry, Shrek. We just can't. After all the mean things you did to us...
 * Shrek: Nonny...
 * Nonny: No!
 * Shrek: You guys...
 * Gil, Molly, Goby, Deema, Oona and Donkey: No!
 * Shrek: Okay, fellas. I'm sorry. Alright?
 * Oona: What did you say Shrek? (Shrek gives a sad sigh)
 * Shrek: I'm sorry. I guess I am just a big stupid ugly ogre. Can you forgive me?
 * Molly: Yes.
 * Goby: Of course.
 * Deema: Apology accepted.
 * Oona: Sure.
 * Nonny: Absolutely. (Molly looking at Gil)
 * Gil: Okay, I forgive you too.
 * Donkey: Hey, that's what friends are for Gil.
 * Shrek: Right. Friends?
 * Gil, Molly, Nonny, Goby, Deema, Oona and Donkey: Friends.

Then you gotta, gotta Try a little Tenderness!

 * Deema: Hey, Shrek. Wait, wait, hey, wait a minute.
 * Goby: Look you wanna do this right don't you?
 * Shrek: What are you talkin' about?
 * Donkey: There's a line, there's a line.
 * Molly: All you have to do is wait until the priest is gonna say "Speak now to ever hold your peace"...
 * Donkey: And that's when you say
 * Gil, Molly, Nonny, Goby, Deema, Oona and Donkey: I object!
 * Shrek: Oh, I don't have time for this!
 * Gil: Hey, wait. Wait, what are you doing? Listen to me! (getting Shrek's attention) Look, Shrek. Do you love this lady? And hold her? And please her?!
 * Shrek: Yes. Yes. YES!
 * Gil: Then you gotta, gotta, try a little tenderness! The kids love it when romance brakes.
 * Shrek: Alright, CUT IT OUT! When does this guy say the line?
 * Deema: I have an idea. (everybody looking at Donkey)
 * Donkey: Why is everybody looking at me?