User blog:CarltonHeroes/Seizures

I will tell you what happened to me with the seizures. When I was 16, my mom, Ashley and I got back from Cayman Islands to Florida. That night, while I slept at the hotel, the spirit casted spell on my brain. It gave me the visions. I was fearing that I was going back to school. I had to get my good grades up, because I hate Fs. I needed to work harder in the classes in Burney High School until I was graduated from the high school in 2010. My mom told me that it might take me years to graduate from the college. I will be getting the good grades in the classes. My dad told me to take Math, English and Reading classes. Ashley and I kept figuring out what classes I would take and if we do, I don't know when to graduate. I felt that I am stuck in Chico and it's seeming like forever. I will just find the job. Like in Monsters University, Mike and Sully were discharged from the college and find the jobs to become the scarer in Monsters Inc. I felt despair and fearful. But I fight the fear and stop it from stopping me and controlling me. I pray God to save the world. When I first entered Wikipedia on my computer, I discovered Germany and then the other countries and I believe it. I was curious a lot, I knew. When I looked at an Indian with a turban on his head, I realized that Mom was right after all. We're all different in the world. The people are different, everyone's different, I am different. I watched the clips, the Movietone News and the 70th anniversary of World War II (2011-2015) for the four years. I say to myself, "I will honor United Nations in my heart and keep them live in harmony forever. I live in the past, and the present and the future and the spirits of friendship shall be in my heart." It taught me to live in harmony forever by reaching my dreams and fraternising with the nations. I had my great imagining teacher who is mute. I read and learned about the history of WWII and the Internment camps. There were the Italian-American internment camps, the German-American internment vamps and the Japanese-Americans internment camps. I read it sadly, but in 1943, when Italy were surrendered to the allies, the Italian-Americans returned from the camps. In November 1945, after World War II was ended in September 2, the Japanese-Americans returned from the camps. In December 1945 maybe, the German-Americans returned from the camps after the Germans signed the unconditional surrender and Germany was surrendered to the allies: Americans, Soviets, British and French. The internment camps are closed in 1946. I was happy to read the end. Like in A Christmas Carol, Scrooge learned his own lessons from the Spirits of Christmas Past, Present and Yet to Come. In The Prince of Egypt, Moses shouted to Ramesses, "Let my people go!" He freed the Jews from the slavery. I have to be like Moses, Abraham and Abraham Lincoln. Abraham, in the Bible, was the Father of the Nations. Abraham Lincoln was the President of the United States and he freed the African-Americans. I feel like the Second Father of the Nations. In The Lion King, Simba got the past behind him and was getting his future back. After the death of Scar, he took his place as the great king. I am growing wiser. When my dad told me to do what he asks, I felt like Simba. I felt also like that I am in the prophecy. I was born to the world. I am like a fortune teller. Sometimes I feel faint and sometimes I feel worried. God says to me, "You're cursed!" One day, I thought to myself, "What if the people turn on me?" I was beginning to cry. I pray God to save me from being a sin. I also pray him to save me from the fear. When I breathed, I felt that I am cursed. My breath sounded hate. My breath and whispering are sounding ugly with the word hate. But I don't want to hate everybody, everything and everywhere. And when I moved my body, I felt that my blood boiled inside my skin and I am cursed too. The responsibility checklist, consequences and punishment are the fears to me. They gave me the nightmares. They give me an anger. The bad luck occurs all around me. Like refusing the great things, but I can't refuse them. I cannot. And something else is like the people with the angry faces inside my head shouting at me and the little children's crying. When I hear them, it makes me think about accusing some of the American parents and teachers of mistreating them but not the nice American parents and teachers, for they treat them kindly. And there was the misunderstanding people inside my mind. Angry faces scare me. The seizure forbids me to say everything and to talk. The seizure forbids me falsely. I hate being forbidden. At any rate, I don't deserve to be bad. I hate becoming the devil. I hate hell. I hate going to hell. I am sick of hell. Except heaven, for I want to go there. Uncle James gave me the chance to become a citizen of Heaven and I have to keep it forever. I hate canceling it. James’s words taught me what to say: “I live in the prophecy! It is said that I would destroy Satan and Hell! I bring peace to the world!” But Ashley told me that I am not cursed or a bad luck. She also said that I am not corrupted or bad or mean. She says that I am a good man and am loved. I told Uncle James that the pieces of the thoughts were shaking lose and when I still move my body a second time, I felt it was shaking too like a huge earthquake. Something was trying cause the seizures. It wasn’t the electronics or movies. It was the spirit. And my dad’s voice. His voice was shouting in a roaring voice, “If you don’t do anything, I might be upset.” and “Well, I’m unhappy too!” I don’t like living with him in Burney also. Cause he is always so hard on me sometimes a lot. And there was Mrs. Harcourt from Adventures of Odyssey: A Fine Feathered Frenzy, but not Electric Christmas, for she was reformed. There was Mrs. Minchin from The Little Princess, Mr. Murdstone and Mrs. Murdstone from David Copperfield, Mr. Bumble, Noah Claypole, Mr. Sowerberry and Mrs. Sowerberry from Oliver Twist and the fat lady named Edwina Grunion in Mr. Peabody and Sherman. And Fräulein Rottenmeier from Heidi (1937). But not Bongo the Circus Bear or Mickey Mouse, and not even the Cartoon characters, for they are the good guys in the movies. When I was a little boy, I had my imagining friends like Bongo the Circus Bear, Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, Goofy and the other characters and they didn’t cause the seizures, so when I think of happy, I calm myself down. I think of the words “Still” and “Forever”. I was rushing but the thought was also sounding as the timer and it was saying, “Times up!” It is also like twisting the time. Things of my thoughts are my great dreams. I am ugly and as deformed as the Elephant Man. My brain is ugly too. The Elephant Man was named John Merrick. I had the seizures in 2013-2018 and the seizure is a curse. I felt like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. I also felt like a ugly beast on the inside. Anytime, I become this. My friend, Marie Wallace and Ashley are just like the beauty taming the beast. When I was with Ashley, she is so much like Belle, Ariel and Anna. She chins me up. I thought of the Disney movies and felt badly, so I had to do what my family desires. I would take shower every day, wash my hands and brush my teeth for meeting and hanging out with the girls, and for meals. The movies gave me the lessons anytime inside my feelings. When I was to write something, I think of drama and write some title. When I listen to the music, I imagine the family and friends basing on us in the past and the future. I also imagine the happy endings. The happy ending makes me cry. It was the tears for joy. I was crying about the children. When I looked outside, I was listening to the child screaming for joy. The children are nice and happy. They will meet me soon. When I watch Charlie and the Chocolate Factory sometimes, I imagine the future. The thoughts of my future is that the children around the world will buy the toys with the tickets, to the premiere of the movie of my creation, inside the boxes, so they will learn first thing about friendship. The guy from the oil medicine shop, The Queen of Dragon told me that autism and my brain are unique. I have to be kind and gentle to all the people around the world. And the children too. And even the animals. I'm a Peacekeeper and an Anti-War. My grandparents would never separate each other like this. My mom went to Chico and separated my dad. I don't like the separation. I have to keep my chance of coming together forever forevermore. The people will be my people. I told Ashley that I have my hopes of seeing the German, French, Italian, Russian and European and Chinese, Japanese, Thai, Indian and Asian and Africans, Australian, New Zealander and Jewish in America and meeting him or her. Megumi is the first one I've ever met. She is Todd's wife. Todd is my friend from Mains'l. He gave the Japanese lesson program. Ashley told me to be a friend and also a host in the house. She also told me to take the shower and brush my teeth and look handsome. All the time I have been meaning to think about having the Japanese-American girlfriend when I will soon fall in love. We will be just like Todd and Megumi. It is like Come See the Paradise. I will find the job as I say after I will move to San Francisco. Like in Inside Out, Riley and her parents moved to San Francisco. I will make friends in Chinatown, Japantown and Little Italy. When I watched the scene from The Zookeeper's Wife, the scene of Antonina Żabiński taking care of the Jews taught me how to help the nations. That makes me a hero to them. And a Miracle too. Ashley thinks so. I felt like the Secretary General and President of the United Nations. I also felt like Son of Jesus. I don't like some of the mean people who order the children to pay attention. I don't like bullies. I don't like being blocked. I don't care what they'll do to me in the present nor future. The schoolmates came to help me and cared about me because of loneliness. When I see you, you are just like Dr. Fredrick Treves. He was the close friend of John Merrick. He had been kind to him. I wish to stay alive. I have to tell the world about the Peacekeeper Bears, except San Francisco, for I have told it about them already. Once the curse is broken, I will be free from the seizures the way I was free from my mom. She drank a lot of beer and put me into the danger. Ashley was angry at her and took her place. It was like the quote from Shrek, “By night one way, by day another. It should be the norm until you’ll find true love’s first kiss then take love’s true form.” I will go to Disneyland soon when I have been calmed and stabled. I might have to give the painting to it and the chairman of Disney named Bob Iger. I will tell the Disney Studio about the Peacekeeper Bears and to make the film about them. I have to make the world a better place. My only chance to make my good dreams come true is to work hard at my job and earn money by painting things and sell some of the paintings. Loving the world and Nations who I will meet, telling the people and the children about the Peacekeeper Bears, and then Disney Studio about them and to make the animation film about them and making my dreams come true, and peace and the friendship are not what I feared of. They're what I want to be happy.