The Irelanders' Adventures of Toy Story 2/Transcript

This is the script for The Irelanders' Adventures of Toy Story 2.

[The film begins in outer space. The title comes up: The Irelanders' Adventures of Toy Story 2. Then green letters appear: GAMMA QUADRANT, SECTOR 4. They disappeared and a blue comet was speeding towards a planet that has rocks on it. It's revealed to be Buzz Lightyear, a space ranger toy flying into the planet's atmosphere. He open his wings to slow himself down as he flies above the ground and then lands in a clearing. He looks around breathing in and out before opening his wrist communicator]

Buzz: Buzz Lightyear Mission log. All signs point to this planet as the location of Zurg's fortress, but there seems to be no sign of intelligent life anywhere.

[Laser lights appear on Buzz and he looks up to see millions of Robot that are armed with lasers surrounding him. Buzz jumps and uses his own laser on the crystal which blows the robots up and sends him flying into the air screaming. Buzz lands on the ground and runs over to a wall to catch his breath when a monitor looks in his direction and beeps. Buzz jumps and zaps it with his laser, destroying it. Then the ground opens up in a Z shape and Buzz jumps in and when it shuts, his suit glows. He runs along the corridor. In a room, a yellow dot appears on a red screen identifying as Buzz. A figure raises his clawy hand and puts it on a lever]

Emperor Zurg: Come to me, my prey.

[He moves the lever back and the lights in the corridor come on making Buzz stop in surprise. Then a wall with spikes appears behind him and moves towards him. Buzz look back and gasps and runs as the wall closes in on him. Buzz manages to jump through a closing door just in time and the spike ram into the door, denting it. Buzz stands up and saw a battery which reads The Source of Zurg's Power. Buzz walk slowly to the bridge which has discs that floats between him and the battery. Buzz jumps and lands on the discs, each one playing a musical note as he does so. Then, the discs fall suddenly, carrying Buzz with them. Thinking fast, Buzz press a button on his utility belt which makes a force field bubble around him and then he flies upward]

Utility Belt Buzz: To infinity and beyond!

[He reaches the platform and deactivates the bubble. He then reaches to grab the battery but his hand went through it, revealing to be an illusion. It then disappears and Evil Emperor Zurg rises up behind Buzz on a platform]

Emperor Zurg: So, we meet again, Buzz Lightyear, for the last time.

Utility Belt Buzz: Not today, Zurg!

[Zurg fires his ion blaster at Buzz but he picks up a disc to shield himself and the blasts bounce off. Buzz throws it at Zurg, hitting him in the face. Buzz somersaults over Zurg but just as he landed and turn around to fire his laser, Zurg spins around so fast and shoots Buzz, vaporizing him, leaving his legs to crouch down and fall on the floor]

Zurg: (cackles with triumph)

[The letters GAME OVER appear on the TV screen, revealing that the whole thing was only a video game which is played by Rex, who's wearing a goldfish ball with sucker darts on his head with Buzz, Connor Lacey and Lightning McQueen beside him, watching]

Rex: Oh, no! No! No, no, no, no, no!

Buzz: Oooh. You almost had him.

Rex: I'm never gonna defeat Zurg.

Buzz: Sure you will, Rex.

Connor Lacey: In fact, you're an even better Buzz than Buzz himself.

Lightning McQueen: Yeah. I mean, not bad for a first go but at least you tried.

Rex: But look at my little arms! I can't pressed the fire button and jump at the same time!

[They then hear a rattling noise and see Woody throwing things out of a drawer as if looking for something]

Woody: Where is it, where is it? Where is it?

Buzz: Uh, Woody?

Woody: Huh? Oof!

[Woody hits his head and falls out of the draw hitting several others on the way down]

Buzz, Rex and Irelanders: Ooooh!

Buzz: Hang on, Cowboy!

[Buzz swings on a red desk lamp, lands on a car and rides it along a looping track and off the jump like in the first movie and spins through the air before landing next to Woody. He runs over and picks him up]

Buzz: Woody, are you alright?

Woody: Yeah, I'm fine, Buzz. Okay. Here's your list of things to do while I'm gone. Batteries need to be changed. Toys at the bottom of the chest need to be rotated. Oh, and make sure everyone attends Mr Spell's seminar on what to do if you or part of you is swallowed. Okay? Okay. Good, okay.

Applejack: Woody, y'all haven't found that missin' hat of yours, have ya?

Woody: No! And Andy's leaving for Cowboy Camp any minute and I can't find it anywhere!

Buzz: Don't worry, Woody! In just a few hours, you'll be sittin' around a campfire with Andy, makin' delicious, hot schmoes.

Woody: They're called smores, Buzz.

Applejack: Yep. We country ponies know these things.

Buzz: Right, right, of course. Has anyone found Woody's hat yet?

[The green army men are searching the toy box]

Sarge: Keep looking, men! Dig deeper! [to Buzz] Negatory! Still searching!

[Hamm moves sun blinds up and down as if to signal to someone]

Hamm: The lawn gnome next door says it's not in the yard but he'll keep looking.

[The door opens and Bo Peep, her sheep and a doll enter the room]

Bo Peep: It's not in Molly's room. We've looked everywhere.

Mr Potato Head: [coming out from under Andy's bed] I found it!

Woody: You found my hat?

Mr Potato Head: Your hat? No. The missus lost her earring. Oh, my little sweet potato!

Mrs Potato Head: You found it! Oh, it's so nice to have a big, strong spud around the house.

[Mr Potato Head kisses her side while she giggles]

Woody: Oh, great. That's just great. This'll be the first year I miss cowboy camp, all because of my stupid hat.

Bo Peep: Woody. Look under your boot.

Woody: Don't be silly. My hat is not under my boot.

Bo Peep: Would you just look?

Woody: Oh! You see? No hat. Just the word "Andy."

Bo Peep: Uh-huh. And the boy who wrote that would take you to camp with or without your hat.