Spooner and Calvin's argument

Here's when Del Spooner and Sr. Calvin agrue in Weekenders in I, Robot.

Calvin: Do you ever have a normal day?

Spooner: Yeah, once. It was a Thursday.

Calvin: [after Detective Spooner escaped from Dr. Lanning's house being demolished] Is there something I need to help you with, detective?

Spooner: Hey, do you like cats?

Calvin: Wait, what?

Spooner: Cats. Do you like them?

Calvin: What? No, I'm allergic. Are you saying that cats did this to you!?

Hound: "Cats did this to him?!" What the hell are you saying!?

Ash: That's crazy!

Spooner: [looks at her incredulously] How the hell would cats do this to me? Are you crazy?

Calvin: [as Spooner gets a drink of whiskey from a nearby table] Why are we talking about cats?

Spooner: Because I have a cat in my trunk, and he's homeless.

Calvin: What's going on here?

Spooner: You know, I think that I'm some sort of malfunction magnet. Because your crap keeps malfunctioning around me. A demo-bot just tore through Lanning's house... with me still inside.

Calvin: That's impossible.

Spooner: [sarcastically] Yeah, I'll say it is. [truthfully] Do you know anything about the "ghost in the machine"?

Calvin: It's a phrase from Lanning's work on the Three Laws. He postulated that cognitive simalactra might one day approximate component models of the psyche. [Del looks confused] Oh, he suggested that robots could naturally evolve.

Spooner: Wow! Well, that's just great. [notices an NS5 sitting on her couch] What the hell is that thing doing in here?

Calvin: We were watching TV. It's my personal NS5.

Spooner: Send it out.

Calvin: It's downloading its upgrades from USR. Most of its systems are offline until it finishes.

Spooner: I'm not talking about that thing. In the lab, when Sonny jumped us...

Calvin: [Interrupting] Sonny?

Spooner: The robot.

Calvin: Your calling the robot Sonny?

Spooner: No, um, it did. Sonny did. I didn't care, the robot said it was Sonny. In the lab, there was a cot. I'm asking you, did you see the cot?

Dr. Susan Calvin: I've slept in my office.

Spooner: I went to Dr. Lanning's home, it looked like he hadn't been in there in weeks, and I saw that same surveillance strip on the ceiling.

Calvin: Lanning had his home security system linked to USR. It made his life more convenient.

Spooner: Maybe someone in USR was using those systems to watch him. Maybe even, keep him prisoner.

Calvin: What are you talking about, who?

Spooner: Maybe Lanning was onto something. Maybe, there's a bigger problem with the robots, and Robertson is trying to cover it up.

Calvin: Humoring you for no reason, why?

Spooner: [becoming annoyed] The same old why, how much money is there in robots? All I know is, that poor old man was in trouble, and I'm sick and tired of doing this crap by myself. You're on the inside, and you're going to help me find out what is wrong with these robots.

Calvin: You "want" something to be wrong with them. This is a personal vendetta.

Spooner: You're putting me on the couch? Alright. Just a moment... :[Sits on the desk chair] OK, I'm on the couch.

Calvin: One defective machine is not enough for you. You need them all to be bad. You don't care about doctor Lanning's death. This is about, the robots and, for whatever reason you hate them so much.

Spooner: [gets up from the chair] Well, let's see. One of them put a gun in my face, another tore a building down with me still inside.

Calvin: [checks her robot monitor device] Demolition was scheduled for 8 PM this evening.

Spooner: It was 8 AM tomorrow, and I don't give a crap what that thing says!

Thomas: Me either!

Bumblebee: I gone with him.

Calvin: This is bordering on clinical paranoia.

Spooner: [struggling to contain himself] You are the dumbest, smart person, We have ever met in my life!

Calvin: Nice.

Spooner: [frustrated] What makes your robots so perfect?! What makes them so much... goddamn better than human beings?!

Applejack: Yeah why is that?!

Calvin: [snapping back] Well, they're not irrational or... potentially homicidal maniacs for starters!

Spooner: [sarcastically] That is true. They are definitely rational.

Calvin: You are the dumbest dumb person I've ever met.

Cross-Hairs: Shut up, you goddamn lady!

Spooner: Or is it because they're cold... and emotionless, and they don't feel anything?

Calvin: It's because they're safe. It's because they can't hurt you!

NS-5 Robot: Is everything all right?

Spooner: What do you want?

NS-5 Robot: I detected elevated stress patterns in your voice.

Calvin: Everything's fine. Detective Spooner and his friends were just leaving.

Tino: Fine.

Spooner: [leaving, then stops beside her] You know something, Doc? You and I ain't that different.

Calvin: Is that so?

Spooner: One look at the skin, and we think we know just what's underneath. And you're wrong. [drops a picture of Doctor Lanning standing next to Susan smiling] The problem is I do care.