Victory Lane/Rust-eze (Ed, Edd, n Eddy's Ed-ventures)

The way the Victory Lane and Rust-eze scenes go in Ed, Edd, n Eddy's Ed-ventures of Cars.

(The screen shows from a reporter's camera filming Kori Turbowitz with McQueen and his pit crew as the Rust-eze pitties change his tires.)

Kori Turbowitz: We're here in Victory Lane, awaiting the race results. McQueen, that was quite a risky move, not taking tires.

Not Chuck: Tell me about it!

Kori Turbowitz: Are you sorry you didn't have a crew chief out there?

Not Chuck: Ha!

Lightning McQueen: (chuckles) Oh, Kori. There's a lot more to racing than just winning. I mean, taking the race by a full lap... Where's the entertainment in that?

Not Chuck: Ha!

Lightning McQueen: No, no. I wanted to give the folks a little sizzle.

Not Chuck: Sizzle?

George: Yeah, right.

Lightning McQueen: Am I sorry I don't have a crew chief? No, I'm not. 'Cause I'm a one-man show.

Not Chuck: What? Oh, yeah, right.

Kori Turbowitz: (to the TV audience) That was a very confident Lightning McQueen. Coming to you live from Victory Lane, I'm Kori Turbowitz.

(Kori then drives away, while the reporter tries to get McQueen's bolt sticker on the TV screen. Not Chuck was blocking the view while changing one of McQueen's tires.)

Reporter: Hey! Get outta the shot.

Lightning McQueen: Yo, Chuck. Chuck, what are you doing? You're blockin' the camera! Everyone wants to see the bolt.

Not Chuck: What?!

Lightning McQueen: Now, back away.

Not Chuck: (groans and slams his air wrench towards the ground) That's it! Come on, guys.

(The Rust-eze pitties then leave.)

Lightning McQueen: (as one of the pitties drops his side onto the ground) Ow! Whoa, team! Where are you going?

Not Chuck: We quit, Mr. One-Man Show!

Lightning McQueen: Oh, OK, leave. Fine. (chuckles) How will I ever find anyone else who knows how to fill me up with gas?

(The crowd then laughs.)

Lightning McQueen: Adios, Chuck!

Not Chuck: And my name is not Chuck!

Lightning McQueen: Oh, whatever.

Chick Hicks: Hey, Lightning! Yo! McQueen! Seriously, that was some pretty darn nice racin' out there. (suddenly makes a sudden move) By me! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

HTB Pitty 1: Oh, yeah.

HTB Pitty 2: Zinger!

Chick Hicks: Welcome to the Chick era, baby! The Piston Cup... It's mine, dude. It's mine. (to his pitties) Hey, fellas, how do you think I'd look in Dinoco blue? Dinoco blue! Ha-ha!

Lightning McQueen: In your dreams, Thunder.

Chick Hicks: Yeah, right. Thunder? What's he talkin' about, "Thunder"?

Lightning McQueen: You know, 'cause thunder always comes after lightning. (poses to the crowd) Ka-ping! Ka-pow!

Chick Hicks: (to his pitties) Who knew about the thunder thing?

HTB Pitty: I didn't.

(The crowd then tries to take pictures of McQueen posing his flashing bolt sticker to them.)

Photographer 1: Give us the bolt, McQueen!

Photographer 2: That's right.

Photographer 3: Right in the lens.

Houser Boon: Show us the bolt!

Photographer 4: Show me the bolt, baby!

Photographer 5: Smile, McQueen!

Photographer 6: Show me the bolt, McQueen!

Photographer 7: That's it!

Lightning McQueen: Ka-chow! Ka-ping! Ka-pow!

(Electronic music plays as the screen then shows some people entering the Dinoco tent, and some others chattering as they take pictures of the Dinoco Girls on stage. Then it shows Tex Dinoco, The King and Lynda Weathers.)

Tex Dinoco: Oh-ee! That was one close finish. You sure made Dinoco proud. Thank you, King.

The King: Well, Tex, you've been good to me all these years. It's the least I could do.

Lynda Weathers: Whatever happens, you're a winner to me, you old daddy rabbit.

The King: Thanks, dear. Wouldn't be nothing without you.

(Then the screen shows McQueen behind the Piston Cup stage, posing his bolt sticker the crowd. Roary, Theodore and their friends are seen with him.)

Lightning McQueen: Kch-i-ka-chow!

(Then Mia and Tia come up, screaming for McQueen.)

Mia: I'm Mia.

Tia: I'm Tia.

Mia and Tia: We're, like, your biggest fans! Ka-chow! (they flash McQueen with their headlights)

Lightning McQueen: I love being me.

(Then two police officers come up to move Mia and Tia away.)

Police: OK, girls, that's it!

Mia and Tia: We love you, Lightning!

(McQueen chuckles, and blows a kiss to Mia and Tia. Then The King comes up.)

The King: Hey, buddy. You're one gutsy racer.

Lightning McQueen: Oh, hey, Mr. The King.

The King: And your little brother and friends are good too, in the pits.

Theodore: Thanks, Mr. The King.

The King: You got more talent in one lug nut than a lot of humans and cars has got in their whole body.

Lightning McQueen: Really? Oh, that...

The King: But you're stupid.

Lightning McQueen: Excuse me?

The King: This ain't a one-man deal, kid. You need to wise up and get yourself a good crew chief and a good team. Of course, some pit crew members, not just your friends. You ain't gonna win unless you got good folks behind you, (his voice dwindles as McQueen looks towards the Dinoco stage) and you let them do their job, like they should. Like I tell the boys at the shop...

Lightning McQueen: (to himself) A good team. Yeah...

(Electronic music plays as McQueen daydreams of being sponsored by Dinoco. It shows him with a trophy and two Dinoco Girls beside him, with one of the girls kissing him on the cheek. Then it shows his paint being changed to blue, removing his decals and replacing the Rust-eze logo with Dinoco's. It shows the text saying "The new face of Dinoco", and changing the text "The King" to a logo of McQueen with the text "Lightning McQueen". It then shows McQueen posing in a studio.)

Lightning McQueen: Ka-chow! Ka-pow!

(Then it shows McQueen on the covers of some magazines, and then it shows him with Mia and Tia in Dinoco paint on a red carpet being surrounded by a cheering crowd. Then it shows the text "Lightning McQueen is Lightning Storm". It shows some people being attacked by some giant robots with bodies shaped like spark plugs. One person, who gets zapped by a robot's laser, does the Wilhelm scream as he turns to dust. McQueen is flying in the air, and shoots missiles at the robots. Then the screen shows McQueen with Mia and Tia around the crowd from on the red carpet, which McQueen signs his tire marks on the Walk of Fame. Then it shows him inside a building near the Hollywood Sign, which he is between Mia and Tia painted gold.)

Mia: Oh, Lightning!

(Both Mia and Tia repeatedly kiss McQueen on the sides. Then his daydream ends as the screen shows the present day.)

Roary: Earth to McQueen!

George: Please snap out of it!

The King: If you figure that out you just gonna be OK.

Foduck: (in Leadbottom's voice) Pay attention! You're daydreaming again.

Lightning McQueen: Oh, (clears his throat) yeah, that... That is spectacular advice. Thank you, Mr. The King.

(A fanfare is then heard.)

Lightning McQueen: Oh!

Bob Cutlass: Ladies and gentlemen, for the first time in Piston Cup history...

Lightning McQueen: (revving his engine) A rookie has won the Piston Cup. (He then drives through the wallpaper of the stage to the front.) Yes!

Bob Cutlass: ...we have a three-way tie.

(McQueen was shocked at this. The crowd then cheers and flashes their cameras as confetti shoots out. Then The King and Chick come onto the stage.)

Emily: I can't believe it!

Drifter: A three-way tie!

Chick Hicks: (chuckles) Hey, McQueen, that must be really embarrassing. But I wouldn't worry about it. Because I didn't do it! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Bob Cutlass: Piston Cup officials have determined that a tiebreaker race between the three leaders will be held in California in one week.

(The crowd continues taking pictures of the three leaders.)

Chick Hicks: Well, thank you! Thanks to all of you out there! Thank you! (whispers to McQueen) Hey, rook, first one to California gets Dinoco all to himself. (shouts to the crowd) Ah! No, not me! No, you rock, and you know that!

(Then the screen shows fireworks exploding in the sky as a blimp named Al Oft watches from above.)

Al Oft: Oh, yeah! Whoo!

(Then it shows McQueen, Roary, Theodore and their whole team in the trailer parking as they go to McQueen's trailer's parking space. Some pitties are seen catching some tires being thrown by unseen people, including a Tank Coat pitty named Jerry Drivechain.)

Jerry Drivechain: Yep! All right! Got it!

Lightning McQueen: (mimicking Chick) "First one to California gets Dinoco all to himself." Oh, we'll see who gets there first, Chick.

(They then come to McQueen's trailer's parking space, but the trailer isn't there.)

Lightning McQueen: Huh?

Roary: Where did the trailer go?

Theodore Tugboat: Where is it?

Mack: Hey, kid! Congrats on the tie!

Lightning McQueen: I don't want to talk about it. Come on! Let's go, Mack. Saddle up. What'd you do with my trailer?

Mack: I parked it over at your sponsor's tent.

Lightning McQueen: What?

Why did you park it over there?

Mack: He's gotta make his personal appearance.

Lightning McQueen: No. No! No, no, no, no!

(The screen then shows a commercial on a TV screen inside the Rust-eze tent.)

Lightning McQueen: (on TV) Yes, yes, yes! Lightning McQueen here. And I use Rust-eze Medicated Bumper Ointment, new rear end formula! Nothing soothes a rusty bumper like Rust-eze.

(A picture of a Rust-eze container moves across the rear bumper of a rusty car named Jonathan Wrenchworths. As the container moves across, the bumper shines. Text appears saying "Actual results may take up to 36 weeks.")

Lightning McQueen: (on TV) Wow! Look at that shine! Use Rust-eze and you too can look like me! Ka-chow!

(The commercial ends, and the screen zooms out to show the rusty cars in the Rust-eze tent. On the stage was the founder brothers Rusty and Dusty Rust-eze.)

Rusty and Dusty Rust-eze: (both laugh)

Rusty Rust-eze: I met this car from Swampscott. He was so rusty he didn't even cast a shadow. (giggles)

Rusty and Dusty Rust-eze: (laughs) You could see his dirty undercarriage.

Rusty cars: (all laugh)

(The screen zooms out to show McQueen, Roary, Theodore, their whole team and Mack outside the tent entrance which has two McQueen cardboard cut-outs. McQueen was hiding behind one of them.)

Lightning McQueen: (groans) I hate rusty cars! This is not good for my image.

Mack: They did give you your big break. Besides, it's in your contract.

Lightning McQueen: Oh, will you stop, please? Just go get hooked up.

Dusty Rust-eze: Winter is a grand old time.

Rusty Rust-eze: Of this there are no ifs or buts.

(While Dusty and Rusty were talking, McQueen, Roary, Theodore and the rest of our heroes are hiding behind cardboard cut-outs as they enter the tent.)

Dusty Rust-eze: But remember, all that salt and grime...

Rusty Rust-eze: Can rust your bolts, affect your bones and muscles and freeze your...

(Then the cardboard cut-outs tilt over, exposing our heroes to the rusty cars.)

Hank: (in Larry the Cucumber's voice) Oops.

Dusty Rust-eze: Hey, look! There he is!

(The rusty cars in the crowd then turn towards our heroes.)

Dusty Rust-eze: Our almost champ! Along with his little brother and friends.

Roary: Uh, yes.

(McQueen, Roary, Theodore and their team then move slowly to the stage as they try to avoid the rusty cars surrounding them.)

Dusty Rust-eze: Get your rear end in here, kid.

Rusty car 1: Lightning McQueen, you are wicked fast!

Rusty car 2: That race was a pisser!

Rusty car 3: Yeah! You were booking, McQueen!

Lightning McQueen: G-Give us a little room, guys.

Tin Top: Yeah, we need some space here.

Fred: You're my hero, Mr. McQueen!

Lightning McQueen: Yes, I know. (chuckles as he reads Fred's name on his license plate) "Fred." Fred, thank you.

Fred: He knows my name. He knows my name! (his front bumper falls off)

Roary: And it is nice to meet you, Fred.

Fred: They know my name!

Rusty and Dusty Rust-eze: (both laugh)

Dusty Rust-eze: Looking good, Freddie!

(McQueen, Roary, Theodore and their friends then get on the stage.)

Rusty Rust-eze: Thank to you, Lightning, we had a banner year! Along with your little brother and friends!

Dusty Rust-eze: Oh, I mean, we might even clear enough to buy you some headlights.

Rusty Rust-eze: Are you saying he doesn't have headlights?

Foduck: No headlights?

Cici: How come?

Dusty Rust-eze: That's what I'm telling ya. They're just stickers!

Lightning McQueen: Well, you know, racecars don't need headlights, because the track is always lit.

Rusty Rust-eze: Yeah, well, so is my brother, but he still needs headlights.

Rusty cars: (all laugh)

George: (whispers to McQueen) Laugh, mister.

Lightning McQueen: (does forced laughter)

Zoe Trent: How funny.

Rusty Rust-eze: Ladies and gentlemen,

Dusty and Rusty Rust-eze: Lightning McQueen!

(A spotlight shines on McQueen as the rusty cars remain silent with crickets chirping.)

Car: Free Bird!

Lightning McQueen: You know, the Rust-eze Medicated Bumper Ointment team ran a great race today. And remember, with a little Rust-eze... (whispers to himself) And an insane amount of luck, (normal volume) ...you too, can look like me. Ka-chow.

(The rusty cars cheer as McQueen, Roary, Theodore and their whole team go into Mack's trailer.)

Rusty Rust-eze: Hey, kid.

Dusty Rust-eze: Aw! We love ya. And we're looking forward to another great year. Just like this year!

(One of the brothers laughs as McQueen poses himself with a smile as the trailer door closes to show a picture of the same pose.)

Lightning McQueen: Not on your life.

(Mack then drives away.)

Rusty Rust-eze: Don't drive like my brother!

Dusty Rust-eze: Oh, yeah, don't drive like my brother!