Tino Tonitini Says How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000)/Transcript

Here’s the transcript of Tino Tonitini Says How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000).

Prologue
(The movie begins) (The exterior of Patchy's house is shown. The name "Patchy" appears. Inside, Patchy is wrapping presents) (Potty, a puppet bird on strings, flies in) (Patchy walks over to a desk) (Patchy tugs at it) (Patchy tears the envelope open, pieces of it flying all over. He pulls up his eye patch and replaces it with a pair of reading glasses with one eye covered up) (Patchy gets up and takes off his glasses. Now his eye patch is back on) (Cuts to Potty, who looks very drowsy and with bloodshot eyes) Narrator: Inside a snowflake, like the one on your sleeve there happened a story you must see to believe. Way up in the mountains, in the high range of Pontoos lay the small town of Whoville: The home of the Whos.
 * Narrator: And now, direct from Encino, America's favorite pirate and the hosting all of Tino's Adventures Specials, Patchy the pirate.
 * Patchy: (to the tune of "Jingle Bells") Yo ho ho, yo ho ho, yo ho ho ho ho ho. [he notices he's on air]Oh! Hi. [he waves] I'm Patchy the Pirate, The host of all the Weekenders Adventures' Specials!! (He notices a long piece of confetti on his hook and tries to shake it off. He pulls on it and whacks himself in the eye, giving him a black eye. He switches his patch over to the other eye) Hey, that's better!
 * Potty: (squawk) Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
 * Patchy: That's right, Potty! It is Christmas. (he limps over to the fireplace) And there ain't nothing better Pur heroes, like a Knights of the Weekender Tables Christmas. It sure is a magical time of year. (he blows on his pipe, and bubbles emerge) Why, Tino's friend SpongeBob is gearing up for Santa Claus right now! (He picks up a picture of SpongeBob. Cuts to SpongeBob, holding a remote)
 * SpongeBob: I sure am! (He presses a button on the remote. A large chimney rises from the ground next to his house, and a gigantic funnel pops out of it with the words "Welcome Santa" in neon letters) I'm ready!
 * Patchy: (Laughs) Not bad for a creature with no vertebrae. (he puts down SpongeBob's picture) And I'm sure our pal Patrick is doing his share of the decorating. (He picks up a picture of Patrick. Cuts to Patrick standing by his house with a dopey smile on his face. Zooms out to reveal a single Christmas ball hanging from the antenna on top of his rock. It snaps off and hits the ground, and Patrick does as well. Now, Patchy is mixing cookie dough) I too am also preparing for Christmas. (he lifts up the mixer) Hmm, unbaked cookie dough! (he takes a lick) Mmm...
 * Potty: (squawk) Potty want cookie dough! (he flies over, squawking) Cookie! (Patchy ducks)
 * Patchy: Potty! No! (Potty flies back and forth)
 * Potty: Cookie! (squawk)
 * Patchy: Get out of here!
 * Potty: Cookie!
 * Patchy: Potty!
 * Potty: (squawk) Give us a lick!
 * Patchy: Back off, you flying freak! (Potty flies on the counter)
 * Potty: (squawk) Clarify please.
 * Patchy: (the cookies are shaped like SpongeBob and Patrick) This here cookie dough is for the children, not for pesky parrots. (Cuts to Hans reaching over and ringing a bell. Patchy looks out the window) What's that? Three bells! Well, we all know what three bells means!
 * Children: (off-screen) Free ice cream!
 * Patchy: (Laughs) No, you silly livers! (sternly) No!
 * Potty: (squawk) Man overboard?
 * Patchy: You, I'm ignoring. (he sits down) No, it means it's time to open fan letters! (Potty flies over with a letter in his beak)
 * Potty: (squawk) Here you go!
 * Patchy: Thank you, Potty. (Potty is not letting go) Yeah. Okay Potty, thank you! (Potty squawks, still not letting go) Come on, give it, you birdbrain! (Potty squawks some more) Quiet, infernal bird! (He uses his hook, now with a pair of scissors on the end, to snip Potty's rope. Potty squawks and falls to the ground. Patchy nods) Hmm. (he sits back down) This letter comes to us from...
 * Fish Head: (as voiceover) Name and address withheld!
 * Patchy: And he writes, "Dear Tino Tonitini, I am two years old, and I was wondering that, how does Tino and his friends first met Timmy and his fairies? Sincerely yours..."
 * Fish Head: (as voiceover) Name and address withheld!
 * Patchy: A very good question. But you know he never met Timmy Turner and his fairies named Cosmo and Wanda before.
 * Potty: (squawk) He didn't?
 * Patchy: No sir, my fine feathered little neck pain. (He pulls down Potty's strings. Potty, as well as his puppeteer, falls to the ground. Patchy hangs a homemade SpongeBob ornament on a Christmas tree. Zooms out, showing the entire tree, which is decorated with many similar SpongeBob, as well as ornaments featuring Patrick and Squidward, and a few gift boxes) There was a time when Tino did met Timmy and his fairies. (he snaps his fingers) Hey! Who wants to hear the story of Tino and his friends meets them when they first Grinch and Cindy Lou Who?!
 * Potty: (squawk)
 * Patchy: Potty?! (He sees an empty bowl of cookie dough, accompained by a foghorn noise) You ate all me cookie dough!
 * Potty: (His whole lower half of his body, along with his strings, fall off, leaving only his head) Squ-ouch!
 * Patchy: (Shrugs) Oh well! On with the show!

Ask any Who, And they'll have this to say: "There is no place like Whoville around Christmas Day."

Every window was flocked, every lamppost was dressed and the Whoville band marched in their Christmasy best.

Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!

Arbor Day was fine, and Easter was pleasant and every Saint Fizzin's day, they ate a Fizz pheasant.

But every Who knew, from their twelve toes to their snout they loved Christmas the most, without a single Who doubt.

Farfingle's welcomes you!

Thank you.

Merry Christmas! Thank you for shopping Farfingle's!

Father: We got a snoozlephone for your brother Drew and a snoozlephone for your brother Stu, a muncle for your uncle a fant for your aunt and a fandpa for your cousin Leon.

So, we just need.... Cindy?

Sale on Aisle 3!

Cindy Lou!

Merry Christmas.

Hello, Myrna. Merry Christmas, Fred. Excuse me.

Cindy Lou? Honey?

Cindy: Dad?

Father: Yeah?

Cindy: Doesn't this seem like a bit much?

Father: This is what Christmas is all about! Can't you feel it?

Cindy: (shakes her head no)

Merry Christmas!

Thank you for shopping Farfingle's. Wait a second! Your change!

Another minute closer to Christmas!

And, for the next five minutes only, 99 percent off!

Narrator: Yes, every Who down in Whoville liked Christmas a lot, but the Grinch, who lived just north of Whoville- did not.