Here is the transcript for Akuma and Voltage's Misadventures in Raising a Child.
(The episode begins with a teenage boy eagerly making his way up to the porch of a house. As soon as he knocks, two people—a mother and father—answer it.)
- Unnamed Mother: Oh, hey! You're a half an hour early, Chase.
- Chase: I want to make a good first impression, Ma'am! This is my first job, after all.
- Unnamed Father: Of course, of course. I love to see someone excited to start making money. Come in, we'll show you where everything is.
- Chase: (coming inside) Can I see the baby first?
- Unnamed Mother: (closing the door behind Chase) Are you sure you don't want to see where everything is first? He's still sleeping.
- Chase: No, it's okay. I want to see who I'll be looking after.
- Unnamed Mother: If you insist, alright. Follow us.
(The parents and Chase go up a set of stairs. At the top, there are three doors. The father opens the one closest to the stairs.)
- Unnamed Father: (whispering) He’s in here.
(Chase comes into the room and immediately heads to the crib. In it, a baby about ten months old is sleeping. He has a head full of brown hair.)
- Chase: (gasps) He’s adorable. I want to hold him so badly!
- Unnamed Mother: Let him sleep for longer. Whenever he wakes up, he cries for a solid half an hour. He even does it after being fed
- Chase: Oh… Poor thing…
(Chase bends over the crib and runs his thumb across the baby's chubby cheek. The teenager gives the sleeping child a big smile.)
- Chase: He's perfect in every way! What's his name?
- Unnamed Mother: Matthew.
- Chase: (somewhat disappointed) Oh…
- Unnamed Mother: Well, let us show you the rest of the house.
(As the parents walk him around the house and tell him where everything is, Chase only pays half attention to what they say. Although he occasionally responds with “Uh-huh,” “Cool,” and “Okay,” his mind is preoccupied with Matthew. He images several scenarios of him playing with or holding the baby.)
- Unnamed Father: One last thing. (digs into his pocket to pull out a key) Here's a key to the house. You can come and go as often as you want. Just as long as you don't leave Matthew home alone for too long, we don't mind if you leave.
- Chase: (distracted) Yeah, okay. (takes key) Thanks.
- Unnamed Mother: The money's also in the kitchen. We put it in an envelope, along with instructions on how to make his formula.
- Chase: (still distracted) Okay.
- Unnamed Mother: Good luck taking care of him. We need to leave for the airport now. Thank you for offering to look after our boy! Especially since it's the weekend!
- Chase: (slightly annoying) No problem.
(As The parents leave the house, Chase lets out a sigh of relief.)
- Chase: I never thought those humans would leave!
(A cloud of black smoke surrounds the boy. Seconds later, he transforms into Akuma Omnoraki.)
- Akuma Omnoraki: You're giving me three days to watch a baby? I don't think so! Matthew's mine now! He'll have two amazing fathers from now on! (laughs)