Ash Ketchum Meets The Hunchback of Notre Dame (Remake Version)/Transcript

Here's a transcript of the remake version of Ash Ketchum Meets The Hunchback of Notre Dame.

Opening/"Bells of Notre Dame"

• The Announcer: And now it's for Patchy's Pick, hosted by the great adventure host of all time, Patchy the Pirate.
• Patchy the Pirate: Ahoy, fellow fanatics! Welcome to Patchy's Pick. Why don't come on back to the galley, I got a little treat for you today. We're gonna see me favorite adventure film, "Ash Ketchum Meets The Hunchback of Notre Dame". Ta-da!
• Potty: Boring!
• Patchy the Pirate: Well, If it isn't my less-than-amusing sidekick, Potty the Parrot. Potty, say hello to the nice people.
• Potty: Bawk! I'm being held here against my will––help!
• Patchy the Pirate: Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh... Oh, Potty come back! Potty? Potty? Were'd you go? Potty, you in here, buddy?

(Then the screen reveals that Patchy is in a cannon that is pointing outside the window)

• Potty: [laughs and squawking] Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha.
• Patchy the Pirate: Get me out of here, you scurvy bird! [The cannon blasts Patchy out and Patchy screams; he lands in a neighboring house which sinks like a boat. Patchy returns, still smoking from the cannon blast] Well, roll the film.

(The film begins a countdown and then it plays, as the Walt Disney Pictures logo fades off the screen, the chorus heard in the background mixes with the bells of Notre Dame cathedral ringing. A long zoom in through the city until we reach the Clopin singing to a group of children watching his puppet show.)

[Clopin]

Morning in Paris, the city awakes

Through the Bells of Notre Dame

The fisherman fishes, the bakerman bakes

Through the Bells of Notre Dame

To the big bells as loud as the thunder

To the little bells as soft as psalm

And some say the soul of the city's toll of the bells

The Bells of Notre Dame

• Clopin: Listen, they're beautiful, no? So many colors of sounds, so many changing moods. Because, you know, they don't ring all by themselves.
• Puppet: They don't?!?
• Clopin: No, silly boy. Up there, high, high in the dark bell tower, lives the mysterious bell ringer. Who is this creature?
• Puppet: Who?
• Clopin: What is he?
• Puppet: What?
• Clopin: How did he come to be there?
• Puppet: How?
• Clopin: Hush!
• Puppet: Ohhh...
• Clopin: And Clopin will tell you. It is a tale, a tale of a man and a monster!

(A wipe to a dark night. A band of gypsies quietly proceeding down the Seine, hoping to avoid detection. A baby in the woman's arms begins to cry.)

[Clopin]

Dark was the night when our tale was begun on the docks near Notre Dame

• Gypsy 1: Shut it up, will you!
• Gypsy 2: We'll be spotted!
• Gypsy Mother: Hush, little one!

[Clopin]

Four frightened gypsies slid silently under the docks near Notre Dame

• Boatman: Four gilers for safe passage into Paris.

[Clopin]

But a trap had been layed for the gypsies

And they gazed up in fear and alarm

At a figure who's clutches were iron as much as the bells

• Gypsy 1: Judge Claude Frollo!

[Clopin]

The Bells of Notre Dame

[Chorus]

Kyrie Eleison (Lord have mercy)

[Clopin]

Judge Claude Frollo longed to purge the world of vice and sin

[Chorus]

Kyrie Eleison (Lord have mercy)

[Clopin]

And he saw corruption everywhere except within

• Judge Claude Frollo: Bring these gypsy vermin to the Palace of Justice.
• Guard: (To mother) You there! What are you hiding!?!
• Judge Claude Frollo: Stolen goods, no doubt. Take them from her.
• Clopin: She ran!

(As the gypsy mother tries to escape with her baby, Judge Frollo gives chase on horseback. She reaches the doors of Notre Dame and pounds on them.)

• Gypsy Mother: Sanctuary! Please give us sanctuary! (her last words)

(Frollo finally catches up to her on the steps of the cathedral. He rips the still covered bundle from her arms, and kicks her in the face, sending her crashing to the cement steps, where she is knocked unconscious. The baby begins to cry.)

• Judge Claude Frollo: A baby?

(Frollo uncovers the baby's head, seeing the deformed infant.)

• Judge Claude Frollo: A monster!

(He looks around, searching for a way to dispose of the creature. He sees a well, and rides over to it. He is about to drop the baby down the well when a voice (a lightning flash between Clopin and the Archdeacon) shouts out.)

• Archdeacon: Stop!
• Clopin: Cried the archdeacon.
• Judge Claude Frollo: This is an unholy demon. I'm sending it back to hell, where it belongs!

[Archdeacon]

See there the innocent blood you have spilt

On the steps of Notre Dame

• Judge Claude Frollo: I am guiltless. She ran, I pursued.

[Archdeacon]

Now you would add this child's blood to your guilt

On the steps of Notre Dame?

• Judge Claude Frollo: My conscience is clear

[Archdeacon]

You can lie to yourself and your minions

You can claim that you haven't a qualm

But you never can run from nor hide what you've done from the eyes

The very eyes of Notre Dame

[Chorus]

Kyrie Eleison (Lord have mercy)

[Clopin]

And for one time in his life

Of power and control

[Chorus]

Kyrie Eleison (Lord have mercy)

[Clopin]

Frollo felt a twinge of fear

For his immortal soul

• Judge Claude Frollo: What must I do?
• Archdeacon: Care for the child, and raise it as your own
• Judge Claude Frollo: What? I'm to be settled with this misshapen…? Very well. Let him live with you, in your church.
• Archdeacon: Live here? Where?
• Judge Claude Frollo: Anywhere.

[Judge Claude Frollo]

Just so he's kept locked away where no one else can see

• Judge Claude Frollo: The bell tower, perhaps. And who knows? Our Lord works in mysterious ways

[Judge Claude Frollo]

Even this foul creature may

Yet prove one day to be

Of use to me

(scene changes to puppet show)

• Clopin: And Frollo gave the child a cruel name. A name that means half-formed... Quasimodo!

[Clopin]

Now here is a riddle to guess if you can

Sing the bells of Notre Dame

Who is the monster and who is the man?

Clopin and Chorus:

Sing the bells, bells, bells, bells

Bells, bells, bells, bells

[Clopin]

Bells of Notre Dame!

(We have wiped from watching Clopin's puppet show to the actual bells ringing in the tower, and the back of this mysterious Quasimodo ringing them. As we end on a beautiful shot of the bells ringing, and the word "Dame" is sung with the cymbal crash, the title "Ash Ketchum Meets The Hunchback of Notre Dame" appears onscreen.)

Meet Quasimodo/Ash and his friends came to Paris/"Out There"

(We fly down to an exterior with the frozen forms of Victor and Hugo, with a bird's nest in his mouth, on the balcony. As Quasimodo comes out, the bird awakens.)

• Quasimodo: Good morning!

(The bird squeaks its approval.)

• Quasimodo: Will today be the day? Are you ready to fly?

(The bird squeaks its disapproval.)

• Quasimodo: You sure? Good day to try. Why, if I picked a day to fly, oh, this would be it! The Festival of Fools! It will be fun--the jugglers, and music, and dancing...

(The bird, who had been resting in Quasi's hand, has begun to flap its wings. Quasi slowly removes his hands until the bird is hovering in place. He chuckles and shows his hands to the bird, who finally realizes that it is flying. It squeaks an approval, then a question, as a flock of birds fly by.)

• Quasimodo: Go on! Nobody wants to be cooped up here forever!

(The bird flies off to join the flock. We go back to Notre Dame, Hugo, and later, Victor, come to life. Hugo spits out the nest.)

• Hugo: Oh, man! I thought he'd never leave! I'll be spitting feathers for a week!
• Victor: Well, that's what you get for sleeping with your mouth open.
• Hugo: (chuckles sarcastically) Heh, heh, heh...go scare a nun!
• Hey, Quasi! What's going on out there? A fight? A flogging?
• Victor: A festival!
• Hugo: You mean the Feast of Fools!?!
• Quasimodo: Uh huh!
• Hugo: All right, all right! Pour the wine and cut the cheese!

(Hugo makes farting noises in his armpit.)

• Victor: It is a treat to watch the colourful pageantry of the simple peasantfolk.
• Hugo: Boy, nothin' like balcony seats for watching the ol' F.O.F.
• Quasimodo: (dejected) Yeah, watching.

(Quasi turns and leaves, obviously sad.)

• Hugo: Hey, look--a mime.

(Hugo hocks up a phlegm in his throat, and is about to spit, when Victor covers his mouth. Hugo is forced to swallow his prize. They proceed inside to Quasimodo. Laverne catches up to them.)

• Hugo: Hey, hey, what gives?
• Victor: Aren't you going to watch the festival with us?
• Hugo: I don't get it.
• Victor: Perhaps he's sick!
• Laverne: Impossible. If 20 years of listening to you two hasn't made him sick by now, nothing will.
• Victor: But watching the Festival of Fools has always been the highlight of the year for Quasimodo.
• Laverne: What good is watching the party if you never get to go near it? (Birds have begun to roost on Laverne. She waves them away.) Get away from me, go on, you bunch of buzzards! He's not made of stone, like us.

(Laverne goes to Quasi, who is at his table with a model of the city and small toys painted like townspeople.)

• Laverne: Quasi, what's wrong? You wanna tell old Laverne all about it?
• Quasimodo: I...I just don't feel like watching the festival, that's all.
• Laverne: Well, did you ever think about going there instead?
• Victor: Sure!
• Quasimodo: I'd never fit in out there. I'm not...normal.
• Laverne: Oh, Quasi, Quasi, Quasi. (She pauses as the birds have returned to perch on her again. - To birds:) Do you mind? I would like to have a moment with the boy, if it's all right with you!
• Hugo: (To Quasi:) Hey, quit beating around the bell tower. Whadda we gotta do? Paint you a fresco?
• Victor: As your friends and guardians, we insist you attend the festival.
• Quasimodo: Me?!?

(Enter Hugo, with a figurine of a Pope, from Quasi's tabletop scene.)

• Hugo: No, the Pope. Of course, you!

(Victor shoves the Pope figurine in Quasi's mouth.)

• Victor: It would be a veritable potpourri of educational experience.

(Hugo pulls the figurine out of Quasi's mouth.)

• Hugo: Wine, women and song!
• Victor: You can learn to identify various regional cheeses!
• Hugo: Bobbing for snails!
• Victor: And the indigenous folk music.
• Hugo: Dunk the monk!
• Laverne: Quasi, take it from an old spectator. Life's not a spectator sport. If watching's all you're gonna do, then you're gonna watch your life go side-by-side without you.
• Hugo: Yeah, you're human, with the flesh, and the hair, and the navel lint. We're just part of the architecture, right Victor?
• Victor: Yet, if you chip us, will we not flake? If you moisten us, do we not grow moist?
• Laverne: Quasi, just grab a fresh tunic and a clean pair of hose and--
• Quasimodo: Thanks for the encouragement, but you're all forgetting one thing.
• Gargoyles: What?
• Quasimodo: My master, Frollo.
• Gargoyles: (dejectedly) Oh, that's right. (etc.)
• Victor: Well, when he says you're forbidden from ever leaving the bell tower, does he mean "ever ever?"
• Quasimodo: Never ever! And he hates the Feast of Fools! He'd be furious if I asked to go.
• Hugo: Who says you gotta ask?
• Quasimodo: Oh, dear.
• Hugo: Ya' sneak out...
• Laverne: It's just one afternoon...
• Quasimodo: I couldn't--
• Hugo: ...and ya' sneak back in.
• Laverne: He'll never know you were gone.
• Quasimodo: I mean, if I got caught--
• Victor: Better to beg forgiveness than to ask permission.
• Quasimodo: He might see me.
• Hugo: You could wear a disguise. Just this once. What Frollo doesn't know can't hurt you!
• Victor: Ignorance is bliss.
• Hugo: (aside) Look who's talking...
• Laverne: Nobody wants to stay cooped up here forever.

(Quasi thinks for a moment, then a smile creeps across his face.)

• Quasimodo: You're right! I'll go! (The gargoyles cheer.) I'll get cleaned up. (Another cheer) I'll stroll down those stairs. (Another cheer) I'll march through the doors and--

(Quasi and the gargoyles have been advancing on the door leading downstairs. As Quasi nears it, Frollo suddenly appears in the doorway, cutting Quasi short and returning the gargoyles to stone.)

• Judge Claude Frollo: Good morning, Quasimodo.
• Quasimodo: Ah--um, good...morning, master.
• Judge Claude Frollo: Dear boy, whomever are you speaking to?
• Quasimodo: My...friends.
• Judge Claude Frollo: I dare see. (He taps Hugo on the head.) And what are your friends made of, Quasimodo?
• Quasimodo: Stone.
• Judge Claude Frollo: Can stone speak?
• Quasimodo: No, it can't.
• Judge Claude Frollo: That's right. You're a smart lad. Now...lunch.

(Upon hearing the word, Quasi goes off and retrieves a table setting--a silver chalice and plate for Frollo and a wooden cup and plate for himself.)

• Judge Claude Frollo: Shall we review your alphabet today?
• Quasimodo: Yes, master. I would like that very much.
• Judge Claude Frollo: Very well. A?
• Quasimodo: Abomination.
• Judge Claude Frollo: B?
• Quasimodo: Blasphemy.
• Judge Claude Frollo: C?
• Quasimodo: C-c-c-contrition.
• Judge Claude Frollo: D?
• Quasimodo: Damnation.
• Judge Claude Frollo: E?
• Quasimodo: Eternal damnation!
• Judge Claude Frollo: Sure. F?
• Quasimodo: Festival.

(Frollo spits out his drink at the incorrect response.)

• Judge Claude Frollo: Excuse me?
• Quasimodo: Forgiveness!
• Judge Claude Frollo: You said...festival.
• Quasimodo: No!
• Judge Claude Frollo: You are thinking about going to the festival.
• Quasimodo: It's just that...you go every year.
• Judge Claude Frollo: I am a public official. I must go! But I don't enjoy a moment. Thieves and hustlers and the dregs of humankind, all mixed together in a shallow, drunken stupor.
• Quasimodo: I didn't mean to upset you, master.
• Judge Claude Frollo: Quasimodo, can't you understand? Since your heartless mother abandoned you as a child, anyone else would have drowned you. And this my thanks for taking you in and raising you as my son?
• Quasimodo: I'm sorry, sir.
• Judge Claude Frollo: Oh, my daring Quasimodo, you don't know what it's like out there. I do...I do...

[Judge Claude Frollo]

The world is cruel

The world is wicked

It's I alone whom you can trust in this entire city

I am your only friend

I who keep you, teach you, feed you, dress you

I who look upon you without fear

How can I protect you, boy

Unless you always stay in here

Away in here?

• Judge Claude Frollo: Remember what I taught you, Quasimodo.

[Judge Claude Frollo]

You are deformed

[Quasimodo]

I am deformed

[Judge Claude Frollo]

And you are ugly

[Quasimodo]

And I am ugly

[Judge Claude Frollo]

And these are crimes for which the world shows little pity

You do not comprehend

[Quasimodo]

You are my one defender

[Judge Claude Frollo]

Out there, they'll revile you as a monster

[Quasimodo]

I am a monster

[Judge Claude Frollo]

Out there, they will hate with scorn and jeer

[Quasimodo]

Only a monster

[Judge Claude Frollo]

Why invite their calumny and consternation?

Stay in here, be faithful to me

[Quasimodo]

I'm faithful

[Judge Claude Frollo]

Grateful to me

[Quasimodo]

I am grateful

[Judge Claude Frollo]

Do as I say. Obey, and stay in here.

[Quasimodo]

I'll stay in here.

(Frollo goes to leave.)

• Quasimodo: You are nice to me, master. I'm sorry.
• Judge Claude Frollo: You are forgiven. But remember, Quasimodo. This is your sanctuary.
• Quasimodo: My sanctuary.

(Exit Frollo.)

[Quasimodo]

Safe behind these windows and these parapets of stone

Gazing at the people down underneath me

All my life I watch them as I hide up here alone

Hungry for the histories they show me

All my life I memorize their faces

Knowing them as they will never know me

All my life I wonder how it feels to pass a day

Not above them....

But part of them....

And out there, living in the sun

Give me one day out there

All I ask is one, to hold forever

Out there, where they all live unaware

What I'd give...what I'd dare

Just to live one day out there!

(Watch right here after the cymbal smash, as the camera zooms past Quasi into a street scene for a cameo appearance by Belle from Beauty and the Beast.)

Out there among the millers

And the weavers and their wives

Through the roofs and gables I can see them

Everyday they shout and scold and go about their lives

Heedless of the gift it is to be them

If I was in their skin, I'd treasure every instant

Out there, strolling among the Seine

Taste a morning out there

Like ordinary men who freely walk about there

Just one day and then I swear

I'll be content, with my share

Won't resent, won't despair,

Old and bent, I won't care.

I'll have spent...one...day...out...theeeeere!

Captain Phoebus/Frollo talks to Phoebus

(Dissolve down to street level, where, in the midst of all the activity, walks Phoebus, and his horse, Achilles. Phoebus is consulting a map.)

Phoebus: Huh, ya leave town for a couple of decades and they change everything.

(He looks and sees a pair of guards walking side-by-side.)

Phoebus: Excuse me, gentlemen, I'm looking for the Palace of Justice. Would you-- (they fully ignore him) Huh, I guess not.

(Meanwhile, in a corner, Esmeralda and Djali are dancing for change. A woman and her child walk side-by-side, but the woman steers her child aside.)

Woman: Stay away, child--they're gypsies. They'll steal us blind.

(Phoebus, entranced by Esmeralda's dancing, drops a few coins into the hat on the ground. Soon, a boy on top of the wall whistles. Everything comes to a halt, and all scramble for cover. As Djali grabs the hat, coins fly everywhere. He runs, and Esmeralda runs out to grab the money. As she's gathering the change, the guards arrive.)

Guard 1: Alright, gypsy, where'd ya get the money?

Esmeralda: For your information, I earned it.

Guard 1: Gypsies don't earn money.

Guard 2: You steal it?

Esmeralda: You'd know a lot about stealing!

Guard 1: Troublemaker!

Guard 2: Perhaps a day in the stocks will cool you down.

(She fights them, and escapes at last. As the guards begin to chase, Phoebus blocks them with Achilles, and they fall to the ground. Guard 1 is in the right spot, and...)

Phoebus: Achilles! Sit!

(Achilles does as he is warned, and sits on top of Guard 1.)

Phoebus: Oh, dear, I'm sorry. Naughty horse, naughty! He's just impossible! Really, I can't take him anywhere.

Guard 1: Get this fact off me!

Guard 2: (approaching Phoebus) I'll teach you a lesson, peasant!

(He whips out a small dagger, to which Phoebus pulls out his shining sword.)

Phoebus: You were saying....Lieutenant?

(Guard 2 realizes who it is.)

Guard 2: Oh, Captain! At your service, sir!

(Phoebus sheathes his sword, but bends down to Guard 1.)

Phoebus: I know you have a lot on your mind right now, but...the Palace of Justice?

(Cut to the guards making a path for Captain Phoebus. As he walks, he sees some coins on the ground. He picks them up and drops them in the hat of an old man sitting on the street. After he passes, the "old man" pulls his hood down to reveal Djali sitting on Esmeralda's head. She looks at him curiously. Phoebus is trying to move through the crowd, but Achilles is refusing to come along.)

Phoebus: C'mon, boy. Achilles! Heel!

(We zoom into the Palace of Justice, and end up in the dungeon, where a guard in the next room is whipping a prisoner, as Frollo listens. Phoebus enters)

Frollo: Guard!

Guard: Sir?

Frollo: Ease up. Wait between lashes. Otherwise the older sting will dull him to the new.

Guard: Yes, sir.

(Frollo turns to Phoebus.)

Frollo: Ah, then this is the gallant Captain Phoebus, home from the wars.

Phoebus: Reporting for duty, as ordered, sir.

Frollo: Your service record precedes you, Phoebus. I expect nothing but the best from a war hero of your calibre.

Phoebus: And you shall have it, sir. I guarantee it.

Frollo: Yes. You know, my last captain of the guard was, um...a bit of a disappointment to me.

(A whip crack and a shriek interrupts Frollo. Phoebus appears alarmed at the crack.)

Frollo: Well, no matter. I wish you'll whip my men into shape.

Phoebus: Uh, thank you, sir, uh, very, uh, trem--uh, a tremendous honor, sir.

Frollo: You come to Paris in her darkest hour, Captain. It will take a firm hand to save the weak-minded from being so easily misled.

Phoebus: Misled, sir?

Frollo: Look, Captain--gypsies. The gypsies live outside the normal order. Their heathen fashions inflame the peoples' lowest instincts, and they must be stopped.

Phoebus: (a bit surprised) I was summoned from the wars to capture fortune tellers and palm readers?

Frollo: Oh, the real war, Captain, is what you see before you. For twenty years, I have been taking care of the gypsies, one...by...one.

(On each of the last three words, Frollo crushes one of three ants on a tile. He flips the tile over, revealing scores of ants scurrying around underneath.)

Frollo: And yet, for all of my success, they have thrived. I believe they have a safe haven, within the walls of this very city. A nest, if you will. They call it the Court of Miracles.

Phoebus: What are we going to do about it, sir?

(Frollo hits the tile back down upside down, and turns it, crushing the remainder of the ants.)

Phoebus: You make your point quite vividly, Captain.

Frollo: You know, I like you captain. Shall we?

(He begins to leave, as the crowd underneath begins to cheer louder.)

Frollo: Oh, duty calls. Have you ever attended a peasant festival, Captain?

Frollo: Not recently, sir.

Frollo: Then this should be quite an education for you. Come along.

Feast of Fools/"Topsy Turvy"/Quasi is crowned King of Fools and now mocked/Esmeralda helps Quasi

(We descend to ground level, and see Quasimodo climbing down the side of the cathedral. He wanders into the crowd, as an oncoming group of people begin to sing "Topsy Turvy")

People: (singing) Come one! Come all! Leave your looms and milking stools, coop the hens and pen the mules! Come one! Come all! Close the churches and the schools! It's the day for breaking rules! Come and join the Feast.....of...

Clopin: (sings) Fools! Ha ha ha! Once a year, we throw a festival here in town. Once a year, we turn all Paris upside down. Every man's a king and every king's a clown. Once again, it's Topsy Turvy Day! It's the day the devil in us gets released. It's the day we mock the pig and shock the priest. Everything is Topsy Turvy at the Feast of Fools!

(Quasimodo is working his road through the crowd, but he can't escape Clopin, who seems to be singing to Quasimodo)

Crowd: (singing) Topsy turvy!

Clopin: (singing) Everything is upsy-daisy!

Crowd: (singing) Topsy turvy!

Clopin: (singing) Everyone is acting crazy, dross is gold and weeds are a bouquet. That's the fashion on Topsy Turvy Day!

(Quasimodo, having joined a chorus line of dancers, is shoved off, through a curtain and comes smashing into the dressing tent of Esmeralda)

Esmeralda: Hey! Are you all right?

Quasimodo: (apologetically) I didn't mean to. I'm sorry.

Esmeralda: (worried) Oh, you're not hurt, are you? Here, here, let's see. (examines to make sure he's all right)

Quasimodo: (nervously) No, no, no!

(Esmeralda tries to pull the hood aside from Quasimodo's face, and he is unsuccessful at stopping her. Djali, upon seeing Quasi's face, sneers. Esmeralda, however, doesn't flinch)

Esmeralda: See? No harm done. (Quasimodo felt surprised that she's not scared of him and she escorts him out the tent) Just try to be a little more careful.

Quasimodo: I will.

(He starts to leave)

Esmeralda: By the way, great mask!

(Quasimodo smiles warmly at the compliment that she gave him.)

Crowd: (singing) Topsy turvy!

Clopin & Crowd: (singing) Beat the drums and blow the trumpets!

Crowd: (singing) Topsy turvy!

Clopin & Crowd: (singing) Join the bums and thieves and strumpets, streaming in from Chartres to Calais.

Clopin: (singing) Scurvy knaves are extra scurvy on the sixth of "Januervy".

Clopin & Crowd: (singing) All because it's Topsy Turvy Day!

(As Judge Claude Frollo, Phoebus and the guards enter the scene, Clopin jumps onstage to prevent Esmeralda)

Clopin: (singing) Come one! Come all! Hurry up, hurry up, here's your chance. See the mystery and romance. Come one! Come all! See the finest girl in France, make an entrance to entrance. Dance la Esmeralda......dance!

(On the last word, Clopin disappears in a puff of smoke, and Esmeralda appears in his place. She proceeds to perform a sultry dance)

Frollo: (To Phoebus) Look at that disgusting display.

Phoebus: (enthusiastically) Yes, sir!

(She continues to dance. She pulls out a handkerchief and wraps it around Frollo's head playfully, using it to pull him closer. She moves in to kiss him, but jumps off at the last moment. Frollo yanks the handkerchief over his head)

Clopin: And now, ladies and gentlemen, the piece of resistance! (singing) Here it is, the moment you've been waiting for! Here it is, you know exactly what's in store! Now's the time we laugh until our sides get sore! Now's the time we crown the King of Fools! You all remember last year's king?!

(Last year's king, carried on the shoulders of the crowd, belches louder)

Clopin: (singing) Then make a face that's horrible and frightening, make a face so gruesome as a gargoyle's wing.

(Hugo is watching from far above)

Hugo: Hey!

Clopin: (singing) For the face that's ugliest will be the King of Fools! Why?

Crowd: (singing) Topsy turvy!

Clopin: (singing) Ugly folks, forget your shyness!

Crowd: (singing) Topsy turvy!

Clopin: (singing) You could soon be called Your Highness!

Crowd: (singing) Put your foulest features on display, be the king of Topsy Turvy Day!

(Clopin has been pulling contestants onto the stage. Esmeralda pulls Quasimodo to the stage. Esmeralda works her road down the line, tearing apart masks and revealing the ugly faces underneath. The festivities continue until Esmeralda reaches Quasi. She tries to pull Quasi's mask away, but soon realizes that it's not a mask)

Man #1: That's no mask!

Woman #1: It's his face!

Woman #2: He's hideous!

Man #2: It's the bell ringer from Notre Dame!

(Quasi, realizing that people are disgusted by him, is disheartened. Frollo realizes that the only man left standing onstage is Quasimodo. Clopin, trying to keep facts festive, joins in)

Clopin: Ladies and gentlemen, don't panic. We asked for the ugliest face in Paris, and here he is! Quasimodo, the hunchback of Notre Dame!

(Upon hearing Clopin, the crowd once again grows festive, and Clopin crowns Quasimodo the King of Fools)

Crowd: (singing) Once a year, we throw a festival here in town.

Clopin: (singing) Hail to the king!

Crowd: (singing) Once a year, we turn all Paris upside down.

Clopin: (singing) Oh, what a king!

Crowd: (singing) Once a year, the ugliest will wear a crown.

Clopin: (singing) Girls, give a kiss.

Crowd: (singing) Once a year on Topsy Turvy Day.

Clopin: (singing) We've never had a king like this.

All: (singing) And it's the day we do the facts that we deplore on the other three-hundred-and-sixty-four. Once a year, we love to drop in where the beer is never stopping for the chance to burst some popinjay. And pick a king who'll put the top in Topsy...Turvy...Day! Topsy turvy. Insane and crazy, upsy-daisy, Topsy Turvy Day!

(From above, the gargoyles whoop and cheer, while down on the ground, the crowd chants Quasimodo's name. To the side, Guards 1 and 2 are watching)

Guard 2: You think he's ugly now? Watch this!

(He throws a tomato at Quasi, hitting him square in the face. The crowd swiftly goes silent)

Guard 2: Now that's ugly!

Guard 3: (Mockingly) Hail to the king!

(He throws another tomato. Soon, Quasi is being pelted with produce of all kinds. Shouts come from all directions. Soon Quasi is lassoed and tied down on a rotating platform. He is spun around, as onlookers continue their torment. He sees Frollo watching and shouts for help)

Quasimodo: Master! Master, please, wait! Help me!

(Phoebus has seen enough)

Phoebus: Sir, request permission to stop this cruelty.

Frollo: In a moment, Captain. A lesson needs to be learned here.

(As soon as he's said this, the crowd gasps and goes silent. Phoebus and Frollo look up to the stage and see Esmeralda ascending the steps. She kneels next to Quasimodo)

Esmeralda: Don't be afraid. I'm sorry. This wasn't supposed to happen.

Frollo: You! Gypsy girl! Get down at once!

Esmeralda: Yes, your honor. Just as soon as I free this poor creature.

Frollo: I forbid it!

(She whips out a knife and cuts the ropes holding Quasi)

Frollo: (pointing to Esmeralda) How dare you defy me!

Esmeralda: You mistreat this poor boy the same fashion you mistreat my people. You speak of justice, yet you are cruel to these most in need of your help!

Frollo: Silence!

Esmeralda: (frustrated, raising her arm and fist) Justice!

Frollo: Mark my words, gypsy. You will pay for this insolence.

Esmeralda: Then it appears we've crowned the wrong fool. The only fool I see......is you!

Frollo: Captain Phoebus! Arrest her.

(Phoebus motions for his guards to move in and arrest Esmeralda. They surround the stage)

Esmeralda: Now, let's see. (Counting the guards) One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten of you, and one of me. What's a poor girl to do?

(She begins to weep, but disappears in an explosion of smoke)

Frollo: Witchcraft!

(From another location)

Esmeralda: Oh, boys! Over here!

(She leads the guards on a wild goose chase. At one point, she knocks a large cage containing an old prisoner to the ground. It goes rolling off, until it comes to a stop and the lock breaks open. He steps out)

Old Prisoner: I'm free, I'm free! (He trips and falls into the stockade, which closes and locks) Dang it.

(Meanwhile, Esmeralda continues to evade the guards. At one point, she and Djali jump on top of the crowd, which carries them off to safety. Two guards attempt the same move, and the crowd swiftly moves off. She grabs a helmet from one of the guards, and throws it like a frisbee. It hits three guards and knocks them out, before almost chopping Phoebus' head apart)

Phoebus: What a woman!

(Two guards on horseback are chasing Esmeralda. As she jumps over Frollo's concession stand, someone throws the guards a staff. Each holding onto an end, the horizontal staff slices through Frollo's refreshment stand, sending him diving for cover. Esmeralda ascends to the top of a stand, but promptly disappears)

Frollo: (To Phoebus) Find her, Captain! I want her alive!

Phoebus: Yes, sir. Seal off the area, men. Find the gypsy girl, and do not harm her!

(Frollo has ridden over to Quasimodo. He hangs his head low)

Quasimodo: (whispering) I'm sorry, master. I will never disobey you again.

(He moves to the entrance to the cathedral as the rain begins to fall. He goes in, but slowly closes the door to his freedom)

Esmeralda in the Cathedral and meets Phoebus/Phoebus saves Esmeralda/"God Help the Outcasts"

(Dissolve forward in time to Phoebus and the guards searching for Esmeralda. She is disguised, again with Djali as the old man. She sneaks into the church. Phoebus sees her and recognizes who it is. He follows her in sight. As he comes up behind her, she turns and grabs his sword)

Esmeralda: You!

(She forces him to the floor, holding him there with the tip of his sword at his chin)

Phoebus: Easy now, easy––I just shaved this morning.

Esmeralda: Oh. Really? You missed a spot.

Phoebus: Alright, that's it. Just calm down. Just give me a chance to apologize.

Esmeralda: For what?

(As she lets down her guard for a split second, Phoebus grabs the sword from her hands and turns it on her)

Phoebus: That, for example.

Esmeralda: You sneaky son of a------

Phoebus: Ah, ah, ah! Watch it––you're in a church.

(She has picked up a staff with candles on top)

Esmeralda: Are you always this charming, or am I just lucky?

(She swings the staff at Phoebus, who blocks it with his sword. They fight)

Phoebus: (Between Esmeralda's swings) Candlelight...privacy...music. Can't think of a better place for hand-to-hand combat! You fight almost as well as a man!

Esmeralda: Funny. I was going to say the same fact about you.

Phoebus: That's hitting a little underneath the belt, don't you think?

Esmeralda: No. This is.

(She swings one end of the staff at Phoebus' crotch. He blocks it with his sword. She swiftly hits him in the face with the other end of his staff. He shakes it away)

Phoebus: Touchy!

(Djali butts him in the chest)

Phoebus: I didn't know you had a boy.

Esmeralda: Well, he doesn't take kindly to soldiers.

(The fighting has subsided)

Phoebus: Well, I noticed. Permit me. I'm Phoebus. It means "heavenly sun." And you are?

Esmeralda: Is this an interrogation?

Phoebus: It's called an introduction.

Esmeralda: You're not arresting me?

Phoebus: Not as long as you're in here. I can't.

Esmeralda: You're not at all like the other soldiers.

Phoebus: Thank you.

Esmeralda: Well, if you're not going to arrest me, what have you done?

Phoebus: I'd settle for your name.

Esmeralda: Esmeralda.

Phoebus: It's beautiful. Much better than Phoebus, anyhow.

(As they gaze into each other's eyes, neither notices Frollo and guards approaching)

Frollo: Nice work, Captain! Now, arrest her.

(Phoebus yet has his back to Frollo)

Phoebus: (Whispering to Esmeralda) Claim sanctuary.

(She looks at him oddly)

Phoebus: Say it!

Esmeralda: You tricked me!

Frollo: I'm waiting, Captain.

Phoebus: I'm sorry, sir. She claims sanctuary. There's nothing I can do.

Frollo: Then drag her outside and------

(The archdeacon has entered)

Archdeacon: Frollo! You will not touch her! (To Esmeralda, whom he as approached) Don't worry. Minister Frollo learned years ago to respect the sanctity of the church.

Quasimodo sad of Esmeralda's "death"/Quasi's battle/Frollo's death/Phoebus saves Quasi

(Finally, Frollo gets Quasi cornered.)

• Judge Claude Frollo: I should have known you'd risk your life to save that gypsy witch. Just as your own mother died trying to save you.
• Quasimodo: What!?!
• Judge Claude Frollo: Now I'm going to do what I should have done twenty years ago!

(He swings his cape, covering Quasi's head. But as he tries to throw Quasi off the balcony, the panicking Quasi pulls Frollo off as well. Now Frollo is hanging onto Quasi, who is hanging onto Esmeralda. Frollo throws his cape around another gargoyle, and pulls himself over. He stands up and is about to swing at Esmeralda.)

• Judge Claude Frollo: And He shall smite the wicked and plunge them into the fiery pit! (his last words from the Bible.)

(The gargoyle, however, begins to crack. Frollo is thrown off balance, and hangs onto the gargoyle's head. Suddenly, the gargoyle comes to life and roars. Frollo screams, and the now stone gargoyle breaks off, sending Frollo falling into the lava to his death.)

(Meanwhile, Esmeralda is losing her grip on Quasimodo.)

• Esmeralda: Quasimodo! Quasi!

(He slips loose and begins to fall.)

• Esmeralda: No!!!

(He falls right along the building, close enough for Phoebus to catch him several floors below and pull him back into the building. When Quasi sees who has caught him, he and Phoebus hug. Esmeralda comes running in. After Esmeralda hugs him, he takes Esmeralda's hand and Phoebus' hand, and puts them together. They kiss, and Quasi smiles broadly.)

Quasimodo is accepted to society/"Bells of Notre Dame (reprise)"/The Epilogue

(Cut to ground level, where Phoebus and Esmeralda emerge into the light and the crowd cheers, . With Quasi and the others)

• -
• -
• -
• -
• Quasimodo: I know. I can't blame Frollo for putting walls around me. It wasn't the walls that were holding me back.
• Petrie: What was it then?
• Quasimodo: Even though, Master Frollo made me live inside the bell tower, but the real walls were the ones I built around my heart. You'd helped me see that, you guys.
• Timon: We did? Oh yeah we did.
• Quasimodo: If I haven't met you guys, I'd never found a way to see the world around me. And my heart is free now. I'm ready to see what's out there. (goes toward the door)

(Esmeralda turns back to the open doorway. She comes back and leads out Quasimodo. The crowd goes silent. Soon, a little girl cautiously comes forward from the crowd. She looks at him, then pets his face. They then hug, and the girl takes Quasi's hand and brings him to the crowed. The crowd begins to cheer. As he moves into the crowd, they do not move away as before. The 'goyles are above, breaking out the champagne.)

• Clopin: Three cheers for Quasimodo!!

(The crowd breaks into loud cheering.)

[Clopin]

So here is a riddle to guess if you can

Sing the bells of Notre Dame

What makes a monster and what makes a man?

[Chorus]

Sing the bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells…

[Clopin]

Whatever their pitch you

Can feel them bewitch you

The rich and the ritual knells…

[Clopin and Chorus]

Of the bells of Notre Dame!

(A long pullout, as we see the crowd following Quasi, then the 'goyles looking over them. Birds have once again covered Laverne.)

• Laverne: Don't you ever migrate?

(We continue to pull out, until the entire city is in view. Fade to black. The end.)

(Back to Patchy)

• Patchy the Pirate: Ahoy, children! I'm back! I hope all you boys and girls enjoyed the show because it's time for you to walk the plank! [Screen reads: PLEASE STAND BY] Oh, sorry, kids. What I meant to say was it's time for fan mail! [blows horn]
• Old-time crowd: Hooray!
• Patchy the Pirate: And now, the moment you've all been waiting for, so get ready to blow milk out of your nose because we're gonna open a letter! The envelope please Potty. Thank you, my fine feathered assistant.
• Potty: [Potty has a lighten fuse on his head] Brawk, you're not welcome.
• Patchy the Pirate: [Patchy blows his nose] Hey, Potty, do you smell something? Oh, Potty! That fuse in your head! I told you we're not doing that stunt!
• Potty: Brawk, I didn't get the memo! Brawk! [Potty blows up along with Patchy; Patchy coughs up a feather and recovers from the blast]
• Patchy the Pirate: Well, that’s it for Patchy's Pick. Hooray! [Potty collapses to the floor]