Buyers Beware/Transcript

Buyers Beware
Season 2, Episode 2b
Written by	LegoKyle14 and Magmon47
Directed by	LegoKyle14
Episode guide
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Here's the 3rd episode for season 2 from Winnie the Pooh Goes Back at the Barnyard. Here's the transcript.

The Beginning

(The scene begins with everyone pulling)

• Otis: Come on guys, pull!
• Peck: We're pulling.
• Pig: My hooves are getting sweaty.
• Abby: I'm losing it.
• Sunset Shimmer: Well what do you expect, this one tough tooth to pull.
• Donald Duck: Especially of that tough tooth belong to Freddy
• Freddy: Don't quit now you guys. You can do it.
• Eeyore: It's hopeless that tooth ain't coming out.
• Otis: Come on guys. No third latteral bincusbid is going to push us around. Now pull!

(Everyone gives it a big tug and Freddy lands in the barnyard)

• Winnie the Pooh: Are you quite alright. Freddy?
• Human Rainbow Dash: Did you tooth came out?
• Freddy: You got it.
• Tigger: Now what do we do?
• Timmy Turner: Now, she'll be coming in 3....2...
• Human Fluttershy: Wait, whose she?

(Suddenly, the Tooth Fairy appears and everyone is amazed)

• Spike the dog: Wow, the Tooth Fairy.
• Lola: She looks so pretty.
• Lana: Yeah, I'll say. Her shiny teeth hurt my eyes.
• Tooth Fairy: Thank you Freddy. And here's your quarter.
• Freddy: Thanks. Now about my kidney stone...

(Everyone didn't wanted to that)

• Pig: Oh come on let's give it a try.
• Abby: No Pig.
• Tooth Fairy: Sorry. Not good with other parts of the body especially eyes. (poofs up a eyeball with tentacles) See?
• Rabbit: Oh, yes. I see what you mean. Mmm-hmm.
• Pip: FARMER!!!

(The farmer comes out puts out a sign)

• Farmer: Phew. Sign hammering is hard work. Well, off to buy supplies. (leaves)
• Pig: What'd it say?
• Freddy: Hold on. Let me put on my glasses.
• Lori: Freddy, we all know you can't read.
• Freddy: Oh, can't I? Glibbety Glop Fergilly shinibitty boot. Ha, in your face.
• Cosmo: Not bad.
• Goofy: It's way far from bad.
• Wanda: He makes Leni the smart one.
• Leni: Hey, I am not stupid! Wait, what are we talking about?
• Piglet: Nothing Leni.
• Otis: Guys it says, "Welcome Buyers". Clearly the farmer wishes to receive units of monetary currency in exchange for a gooder item currently in his possession. In case, the farm.

(Everybody gets it until)

• Narrator: 3 seconds later...

(Everybody freaks out)

• Pig: What if the new home owners work us as animals.
• Peck: What if they eat us?
• Human Rarity: What if they make thier personal slaves?
• Sci-Twi: What if they send us to a dark mine and dig til we drop?
• Abby: What if they make us fight each other in gladiatorial combat?
• Lynn: I probably win.
• All: LYNN!?!?
• Pip: Otis, what we gonna do?
• Pig: Hey, we can go live with a cousin Benny!
• Pip: Doesn't he live in the Antarctica?

(A thought If our heroes lived in Antarctica)

• Wanda: It's freezing!
• Winnie the Pooh: I can't feel my feet.
• Sunset Shimmer: I don't think I can feel anything.
• Peck: Hey, the sun coming up!

(The sun rose for about 3 seconds)

• Human Applejack: So how long until the sun comes back?
• Lisa: About 6 months.

(Everyone groans and Cosmo falls)

• Otis: Look, nobody's moving to Antarctica.
• Abby: Well, what are we gonna do when the buyers show up?
• Otis: Don't worry. We're gonna make the idea living here so unappealing, those buyers will run screaming and never come back. And here's how we do it. (huddles around everyone as he whispers the plan)
• Lucy: Why do you tell your plans this quiet?
• Otis: BECAUSE THIS VOLUME'S VERY ANNOYING!

(Later that day, Otis comes out in a business outfit)

• Otis: Ok, everybody ready to scare those buyers?
• Abby: (gasps) Your lounge singer costume is terrifying.
• Otis: I'm not a lounge singer.
• Peck: Oh, are you a circus ring master?
• Freddy: Or a late night TV mattress saleman?
• Lola: Or are you a salesman who tells hair made out of grass?
• Goofy: Maybe he's a hotel boss.
• Pig: I got it. You're a rich dolphin trainer with a trouble past.
• Cosmo: That's definitely it.
• Otis: Oh for---I'm supposed to be a real estate agent!
• All: Oooooh.
• Human Fluttershy: Do you have a dolphin you can train?
• Pip: CAR!!!!

(First, a woman and a man drive up to the barn)

• Woman: This must be the place.
• Man: I think it's a pretty good place--
• Otis: (jumps in) Hello, folks. Dick Human. Dick Human Real Estate. If you wan real estate and if your a human, then I'm cow--MAN!!! (catches his breath) I'm a man. (laughs) Let it go.
• Human Rarity: Oh, I love that song.
• Rabbit: Shhhhh.
• Otis: You must be the buyers.
• Man: Uh, yes. We're looking for--
• Otis: Your forever home. The place you want to raise your things. Well look no further, this place has it all: Walls, floors, and the sweet scent of jasmine losting over the parapets
• Woman: Yes, it is very nice. But we--
• Otis: Want to move in today, well this is so sudden. I did have other people coming but what the heck Dick Human likes your face. Sold I'll get the paperwork.
• Abby: YOO-HOOO!!!
• Otis: Well what a pleasant unrehearsed surprise! Folks, I like you to meet comfortley neighbors Mr and Mrs. Yellsaloteystiem and their kids.
• Pig: YEAH, HOW YOU DOING!!!! I DON'T KNOW YOUR NAMES, SO I JUST CALL YOU HERB,OK BILL!!!
• Abby: OH MY GOSH, I LOVE YOUR HAIR!!! WHAT CONDITIONER DO YOU USE?
• Pig: WE DON'T WORK AND WE'RE VERY LONELY, BUT WE'RE FRIENDLY SO WE'LL BE OVER ALL THE TIME
• Abby: I JUST KNOW WE'LL BE BEST FRIENDS. THIS IS MY PET MOUSE
• Woman: GET IT OUT GET IT OUT! I HATE MICE!
• Abby: THAT'S TOO BAD, WE BREED THEM!!!
• Luna: WE ALSO LIKE TO PLAY MUSIC ALL NIGHT LONG!!!! (plays her gutair really loud)
• Pig: YEAH WE ALSO LIKE TO WRESTLE!!! LET'S GET 'EM GIRLS!!!

(Pig, Lynn and Rainbow Dash charges in and the couple runs off)

• Otis: Thanks for stopping by! Can I put you on our email list? Dick Human's number 12 the tri-state area.

(The couple drives off and the heroes laughs)

• Pip: Dude, that was awesome.
• Piglet: I can't believe that actually work.
• Wanda: Well research show that the best way to get rid of buyers is be obnoxious and really loud.
• Abby: WOW OTIS THIS PLAN JUST MIGHT WORK
• Otis: Oh, ok Abby. They're gone. You can drop the act.
• Abby: OK, WHAT'S HE TALKING ABOUT!?!?!
• Donald Duck: WHY ARE YOU SCREAMING!!!!
• Abby: BECAUSE THIS IS MY NORMAL VOICE!!!!
• Pip: (sees a family car) We got more buyers.
• Otis: Not for long. Prepare to execute Plan 36J.
• Freddy: But the attack zeppelin isn't ready yet.
• Peck: Freddy, That's Plan 14F Omega.
• Freddy: Oh.

The Middle

• Mom: Kids, we're here.

(Kids cheered)

• Dad: Quaint little farm. Well let's---
• Otis: Hello, folks. I'm Dick Human, Dick Human Restate. Cow free since 93.
• Dad: Hello, we're the Buyers.
• Otis: And what a great time to buy this. Why these must be your adorable offspring. Hey kids, you like nature?
• Kids: No.
• Otis: Me too. That's why you're gonna love playing in this beautiful outdoor setting this property has to offer. Behold (shows them to a waste dump) Takes your breath away, don't it? No, seriously it does. Try not to breathe.
• Mom: I can't believe anyone would live like this
• Otis: (mimicking) Is that radioactive waste? Yes, but once we sink it into the pond. You'll hardly notice it. Hey look, a adorable woodland fawn.
• Family: Awww.

(Fluttershy comes in petting Freddy as a fawn. Suddenly Freddy began coughing loudly)

• Mom: What's happening?
• Dad: Is he ok?
• Otis: He'll be fine.

(Freddy coughs even louder and Peck comes out of his back and started shooting laser beam from his eyes making Fluttershy run in terror and the family drives off)

• Otis: Wait, no, please, come back. Toxic radition is temporary. It'll be fine in 200,000 years!

(Everyone else comes out laughing)

• Otis: Freddy, that was amazing.
• Winnie the Pooh: That was a nice performance.
• Eeyore: If you ask me, that nobody it, where's Fluttershy?
• Lori: She got really scared and ran up that tree.
• Human Fluttershy: Is it over?
• Lynn: Yes, it's over. You can come down now.
• Goofy: I can't believe you have that much waste Lisa.
• Lisa: I'm working on clean solution on how to remove the waste from lakes.
• Timmy Turner: Hey Freddy, how'd you pull off the laser eyes stunt?
• Freddy: Well Timmy, I wanted my performance to believable. So I went online I bought some real radioactive waste. (drinks some more) Ahh, that's good waste.
• Human Applejack: Wait a mintue! Isn't drinking radioactive waste dangerous?

(Ask Dr. Pig)

• Pig: Hello, I'm Dr. Pig. What you just saw was a fictionalize account intended to inspire humor. Drinking atomic waste will not give you super heat laser vision. Watch as I dispell that common myth. (drinks some) You see. (suddenly turns into a giant pig version of the Hulk) Why does army always hound Pig? Pig Smash! (throw tractor) Pig smash you all! (roars)
• Announcer: The producers of Winnie the Pooh Goes Back at the Barnyard would like to apologize for the previous scene. Drinking atomic waste will neither give you heat laser vision nor turn you into a Hulking pig monster as I will now demonstrate. (drinks some) Oh, no! What's happening? I'm shrinking! Oh why did I drink that atomic waste? I never got to see Paris. Ahhh!!!!
• Sunset Shimmer: I guess what we're trying to say here is this. Don't try this at home!
• Pip: (sees the next buyer) Old lady on a scooter at 2 o clock!
• Otis: Oh, one of those old lady buyers. They're easy to scare. This shall be my greatest triumph yet.
• Eeyore: Good Luck, Otis.
• Otis: Good afternoon, old one. Let me guess, your a buyer.
• Old Lady: Why yes I am, young fella.
• Otis: Fantastic, hey, have a good look around, just whatever you do...(in a dark voice) Don't go in the barn!
• Old Lady: What are you talking about?
• Otis: Well, it's quite silly...hardly worth mentioning but I will anyway. You see, the barn has a teeny tiny...(dark voice) Portal to the underworld!

(The barn opens up the animals act like monsters)

• Old Lady: Oh, I'm not afriad of the underworld.
• Otis: Well, I don't blame you for scedaddle I mean....Whaaaaat?!?!? Oh well..um...did I mention this place is infested with...zombies!

(Suddenly, zombie hands rose from the ground)

• Old Lady: Oh dear, they're afraid of us than we are of them.

(Then, the zombie hands slowly comes back down with the zombies muttering)

• Otis: (shaking the scooter) Is that an earthquake?
• Old lady: Really gets the blood flowing!
• Lana: Oh she's tricky.
• Human Rainbow Dash: This going to take awhile.
• Donald Duck: I'm sure she'll be gone in 5 minutes.
• Narrator: 4 hours later....
• Donald Duck: I stand corrected.
• Otis: We have locus.
• Old lady: Mmmm, thems good eating.
• Otis: Why would you..uh that's it! (takes off his wig) I'm a talking cow!
• Old lady: Oh, we're all special in our own way.
• Otis: UHhh, I give up, you win! The place is yours. Here, take the keys!
• Old lady: Ahhh, keys, my one true fear! Make it stop! Make it stop! (drives off in a panic)
• Spike the dog: Why didn't we try that before?
• Lincoln: Who knows and who cares. We won!

(Everyone comes out feeling proud)

• Otis: Well guys it was tough but we did it!
• Tigger: Aspollify, we show those buyers a thing or three
• Otis: When word gets out about our loud neiboring, radioactive, zombie ajacent, key jangling property...
• Peck: And it will!
• Otis: No one will touch this place!
• Eeyore: If you ask me, that nobody is, but have you notice two people are missing?
• Lucy: Not that you mention it, where's Luan?
• Sunset Shimmer: And where's Pinkie Pie?
• Human Pinkie Pie: Hey, guys!
• Luan: We're back.
• Mickey Mouse: Where have you guys been?
• Cosmo: Yeah you missed a awesome prank we pulled.
• Luan: We were getting more party supplies for the farmer's Buyer family reunion.
• Timmy Turner: The what now?

(Suddenly our heroes hears someone crying)

• Otis: What? What the cud is that?
• Luna: It's coming from behind that shack.

(Everyone looks and see the farmer crying in sorrow)

• Farmer: I can't believe nobody showed up to my family reunion. The Buyer Family has always been so close.
• Otis: Buyer Family?
• Human Pinkie Pie: Yeah, the sign out front was welcoming Buyers.
• Otis: Welcome...Buyers...Oh milk me, his last name is Buyer. Guys, he wasn't going to sell the farm.
• Goofy: He was just inviting his relatives.
• Peck: You mean we scared away his family?
• Rabbit: Oh dear, mercy me.
• Piglet: Oh dear, mercy me too.
• Pip: How are we supposed to know his last name is Buyer?

(Shows flashbacks of Farmer Buyer)

• Otis: Yeah, we're not pyshics. Anyhows, we got to fix this fast.
• Winnie the Pooh: But we scare those people to death.
• Lisa: And by my calculations of this prank, they'll never come back again.
• Human Fluttershy: It's hopeless.
• Otis: We got to! We'll split into groups and bring back the farmer's family before the potato salad curdles.

The Ending

(Everyone scatters and flung the farmer's relatives back to the barn)

• Farmer: Oh my wonderful family
• Otis: Whoo, we did it.
• Spike the dog: We got everybody back.
• Abby: It's so nice to see a family with a strong loving bond.
• Eeyore: Well sort of.
• Man: Your loud neibors scare my wife something terrible
• Boy: Your farm's all raditiony
• Girl: The faun had two heads.
• Old Lady: Listen sonny, don't you ever jingle keys in my face again.
• Farmer: I don't know what your all talking about and I don't care. I just happy you're here.

(The whole family awwed and hugged it out. Later that day, our heroes ate some of the leftovers)

• Human Rarity: What a day.
• Otis: Well guys. I think we learned a lot today.
• Peck: All we learned is the Farmer's last name is Buyer.
• Donald Duck: And that we should never jump to conclusions so quickly.
• Pig: And that the farmer has a killer recipe for veggie chili. (eats some)
• Winnie the Pooh: Delicious.
• Tigger: Delectible.
• Lincoln: I agree. This chili is the one best one I ever had.
• Lana: Hey, I think mine's a little cold.
• Freddy: Allow me.
• Wanda: Freddy, wait!

(Freddy lasers the chili but also everyone else)

• Pip: (coming out of a watermelon) What'd I miss?

THE END!