Clan of the Cave Cow/Transcript

Clan of the Cave Cow
Season 2, Episode 20b
Written by	LegoKyle14 and Magmon47
Directed by	LegoKyle14
Episode guide
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Here's 39th episode for season 2 from Winnie the Pooh Goes Back at the Barnyard. Here's the Transcript.

The Beginning

(The scene begins on the mountain with two scientists finding a frozen prehistoric cow)

• Dr. Matt: Behold! Neanderthalensis Bovincaus: Cave cow, the most fearsome brute to ever roam the meadows. Oh they laughed at me at the learning hutch. But now I shall I proof of my theories.
• Beverly: That’s awesome, Dr. Matt. Let’s party!
• Dr. Matt: No time, Beverly, no time! We must thaw the beast out and do science things to him. Deploy hair dryer.
• Beverly: Hair dryer deployed. (set the hair dryer)
• Dr. Matt: Live , you magnificent cow beast, live! So, lunch?
• Beverly: Awesome!

(The ice slowly started to melt. Meanwhile, on a higher hill)

• Otis: Mountain I’m About to Conquer Say What!!! (echoes) I’m funny. Ok, guys, you ready for some wicked sick snowboarding action?
• Pip: Well, I’m not crazy, so, no.
• Abby: Otis, this run is too steep.
• Pig: I was told there would be tea and face painting.
• -You always want face painting.
• Freddy: And it’s so cold, Peck made me swallow him to keep him warm.
• Peck: (pops out of Freddy’s mouth) Freddy, I never ask you to do that.
• Freddy: (puts Peck back in) Shhhh, go to sleep.
• -Freddy, we talk about this. Chickens are friends, not food.
• -When will you ever learn?
• Abby: I don’t know, Otis. It doesn’t seem safe.
• Otis: Oh really? Sounds to me like you guys are...LAME!!! (echoes) Peck, helmet me!
• Peck: You got it! (throws the helmet from Freddy’s mouth, but it covered Otis face as he slide down the mountain)
• Abby: Guys, he’s outta control! We gotta help him!
• Pig: And then face painting, right?
• -Pig, saving Otis first, face painting later.

(As Otis slides down the mountain, he gets whacked in face by a few branches and crashed right into the iced cave cow breaking the ice)

• Abby: There he is!
• Pip: Otis! He’s out cold.
• Pig: Wow, that fall really knocked the pretty out of him.
• Pip: Yeah, look at the size of that head bump
• Abby: Poor, Otis, help me get him back to the barnyard.

(A few minutes later)

• Dr. Matt: And that’s why, I never wear underwear; true story.
• Beverly: Dr. Matt, look! The cave cow is all thawed out.
• Dr. Matt: Oh, what a magnificent specimen. Observe the massive cranial ridge.(pokes Otis' head and Otis slowly started to move) Did you hear that, Beverly? He’s alive!
• Otis: (wakes up) Ice, head, pain.
• Beverly: Hey, those are words.
• Dr. Matt: He has the power of primitive speech. He could be the missing link between humans and barnyard animals. (Otis tries to get his head together) I love his passion. Quick, help me get him back to the science lab!
• Beverly: And then we can party!

(Back at the barnyard, Otis keeps snoring and growling)

• Peck: Ah, Otis has been out for an awfully long time
• Bessie: That’s the way I like him, ugly and unconscious.
• Abby: Maybe we should try waking him up.
• Pig: I’m a medical professional; I’ll handle this. Clear! (sprays Skunkie into the cave cow’s face making him angry and started to wreck the place)
• Pip: That knock on the head made Otis loopy!
• Abby: We gotta find a way to calm him down!
• Freddy: Peck and I will deal with him!
• Peck: Right, Freddy and I will---What?
• Cave Cow: Chacka Chacka!
• Peck: Otis, stop!
• Freddy: Look, we have a nice banana for you (gives it to him and he likes it)
• Peck: It’s working. Offer something else, Freddy.
• Freddy: Look Otis, gossip magazines. (gives it to him and he starts laughing)
• Peck: What else do we have that calm and soothing?
• Freddy: Well everyone loves fire.

(The cave cow sees it and gets angry)

• Bessie: Looks like I gotta to do everything around here. (unties the rope and a anvil drops on cow's head)
• Abby: It’s ok, Otis. We’re gonna help you get better.
• -Maybe we can ask Phineas and Ferb for help.
• Olive Doyle: Actually, them and thier friends went back in time to see how the first car was invented using our time machine.
• -Oh, so where are they?
• Lisa: We might've forgotten about the return effect. (points to Phineas and Ferb and thier friends as cave people)
• -Well. that unusual.
• Abby: Fellas, it’ll be a long difficult healing process. But Otis is our friend and he has to know that we’re here for---(Suddenly bonked on the head)--I’m a pretty ballerina. (Faints as the cave cow drags her off)

(All day, the cave cow show his affection for Abby like making a heart out of a rock, bonked her on the head with a coconut to make drinks, drops a tree on her, and watched the sunset while slowly about to whack her with his club)

The Middle

(At the Learning Hutch)

• Dr. Matt: Me human, you cave cow. Cave...cow. Speak, speak, why won’t you speak again?!?!
• Beverly: Oh, he’s shy. By the way, I need Wednesday off.
• Otis: (to himself) Careful, Otis. These guys are crazy. Just play dumb and everyone gets out alive.
• Dr. Matt: It’s no use. (sighs) I guess we bought all these tasty reward treats for nothing. (pulls out kabob)
• Otis’ stomach: Treats?!?! We love treats! Say some words quick!
• Otis: (to himself) Quiet stomach, that’ll get us expose.
• Otis' stomach: Oh, expose. I’m so scared. Take the stupid treat!
• Otis: (to himself) Oh alright. But we do it my way. (growls) Me cave cow….me want treat.
• Dr. Matt: He speaks! Quick, Beverly, give him a treat.
• Beverly: Here you go cave cow.
• Otis: (eats it) Treat good.
• Dr. Matt: Keep talking you glorious brute.
• Otis: Me want...large grape soda pop.
• Dr. Matt: I thought you might. Here. (gives him soda) 
• Otis: Me also want large side of nachos.
• Dr. Matt: Here
• Otis: Oh and sport bloopers on glowing picture box
• Dr. Matt: You got it, big guy. I’m going to be famous!
• Otis' stomach: I told you this was a good idea. Now let’s talk about your stock pro-folio.

(Back at the barn, the cave cow finishes painting a picture of him buffalo hunting)

• Peck: What’s Otis doing?
• Pig: I think he want’s us to play Name that Picture. Is it a movie?
• Pip: One syllable
• Freddy: A Clam for Sister Susan
• Peck: Going With The Yogurts
• Pig: Sunday In The Park With Fester
• Abby: Guys, please, you’re upsetting Otis. You’re gonna set his recovery back.
• Pip: I don’t think he’s getting any better
• Abby: Why sure he is. Since his accident, Otis has been a new cow. He’s exciting, spontaneous and unafra--(bonked on the head) Will you stop doing that!?!
• Pip: (sees a truck pull up) Guys, the farmer! He’s back from his lodge convention.
• Farmer: Bye, fellas. (howls)

(The cow sees the farmer and think he's a real buffalo. So he sharpens his stake with his teeth and heads out)

• Pip: Dude, what are you--(squished)

(The farmers sees the cow and runs for his life)

• -What is Otis doing?!?!
• -He’s attacking the farmer! And on two legs no doubt!
• -It’s like he a hunter. Like some prehistoric cave cow.
• -Wait a minute! Guys, remember a few months ago, we took a class with that professor at the learning hutch?
• -You mean that professor who doesn’t wear underwear?
• -And he has a beautiful assistant who wants to party?
• -Yeah. He said that there was once a missing link between humans and barnyard animals.
• -What does that have to do with anything?
• -What if they found that certain cave cow but they accidentally took Otis instead and think he’s that certain link?
• -So that means, the one we brought back with us is---?
• -A real cave cow!
• Piglet: Whatever will we do!
• -Ok, he’s what we do. Half of us will keep that cow from eating the farmer. The rest of us, find our Otis at the learning hutch.

(Back at the learning hutch)

• Otis: (watching football) Football man break ankle. Need refill!
• Dr. Matt: Of course my primitive friend. But first, I need more data. Tell me all about yourself.
• Otis: Oh, um, well, many moons me live in cave
• Dr. Matt: Really?
• Otis: Then, um. Me reach awkward age and start high school
• Dr. Matt: Fascinating. And at this high school, did you ever encounter...This! (pulls out picture of a donkey dinosaur)
• Otis: No.
• Beverly: That’s weird, doctor. I thought donkeysaurus reptillcanis was the cave cow’s only natural enemy. 
• Otis: Oh then. Ahhh..fear. Whatever. Can cave cow have more pizza?
• Dr. Matt: Get me more pizza, Beverly! We got to keep the beast talking. Do you want anchovies?
• Otis: (shocked and growls no) Man this is sweet.

The Ending

• -Otis!!!
• Otis: Guys, glad that you're here. I have stumble onto the sweetest scam. Quick, disguise yourself as prehistoric cave men.
• -We don't have time for that!
• -Yeah, everyone at the Barnyard is trying stop "You" from hurting the farmer.

• Otis: Whaddya mean, "Hurting the farmer"?
• -Take a look for yourself.(shows him the cave cow chasing the farmer)
• Otis: Sweet cud, those science guys must’ve mistaken me for that guy. I gotta save the farmer. But can I leave this free stuff?
• -Dude, the farmer's life in danger.
• Otis: Ok, ok, I'll just tell the scientists that I to catch a bronto for my cave girl.
• -We're can tell them now. Cause thier coming back
• -Hide!
• Dr. Matt: Cave cow, Beverly had a great idea. Instead of this time consuming talking, we’re going to extract your brain. (pulls out pilers)
• Otis: Ok then. (Screams and runs away) Bye, cave cow like brain! Want keep! Later (Blocks the door with a vending a machine)
• Dr. Matt: Cave cow, stop! Come back here at once!

(The cave cow continues chasing the farmer until he ran into a tree. Just after, Otis comes out of a car)

• Otis: Stop right here, cave cow! 
• Cave cow: Huh? 
• Abby: Huh?
• Peck: There two of them?
• Pig: What in the world?
• Freddy: I’m seeing double.
• Pip: Guys, that’s the real Otis! The other guy some kind of prehistoric cave cow
• Otis: Man friend. You go now. (both of them tugged for the farmer, but the cave cow fling Otis to barnyard's wall)
• Abby: Otis, are you ok?
• Otis: Never mind me. We gotta stop that cave cow before he eats the farmer. But how. How
• Otis' Stomach: You idiot. Don’t you remember that donkey dinosaur thing? Beverly says it was the cave cow’s only natural enemy.
• Otis: Thanks stomach. You done it again. Come on guys, we got a donkey dinosaur to build
• Pig: Boy that was weird, wasn’t stomach?
• Pig's Stomach: Yeah, whatever! Put food in me!
• Farmer: (waking up) What’s going on? (sees the cave cow, shrieks and faints)

(As the cave cow was about to eat him, Otis comes in as a dinosaur donkey and scaring the cave cow to run away)

• Pip: You did it Otis! You saved the farmer
• Pig: That’s our Otis. But how did you know that donkey dinosaur monster thing was the cave cow’s natural enemy
• Otis: Ho ho. Let’s just say I had a “gut feeling” (laughs)
• Otis’ stomach: You’re an idiot
• Abby: Poor cave cow; lost and alone in a strange new world. I wonder what’ll become of him
• Otis: He’s a survivor, Abigail. He’ll find a way to crave out a life for himself.
• -But what could a prehistoric cave cow do in the 21st century?
• -Actually, I have an idea.
• Narrator: 5 years later…
• -This was a great idea.
• -Yeah, luckily we were able to give those scientists back their cave cow.
• Katie Knight: Not to mention that idea you gave them.
• -Yep. One minute your a primitive bovine then five years later, you're a candidate for being a senator.
• Cave Cow: (as a representative) And if elected to the Senate, I promise sweeping tax cuts, health care reform, and a total ban on fire!
• Beverly: Let’s party!
• -Oh, why not.
• -Hit it!

(The song Zubadaba starts to play)

All

Zupa, daya! (x5)

All

(Ooooh...)

Zupa, daya! (x4)

Baljeet

Yaiiii, yai yai yai yai yai yai yai yai yaaiioh!

All

Zupa, daya! (x3)

Ferb

Ooga ooga ooga ooga.

Phineas

Ooh chaka ooh chaka!

Isabella/Fireside Girls

Kay carga mana hoo!

Boys

Ya ya ya!

Isabella/Fireside Girls

Gunga larga mungalo!

Buford and Baljeet

Zooga ooga chonga!

Isabella/Fireside Girls

Beep boppa zabodu!

All

Chucka lacka moo eetchie she ma goo!

Chucka lacka moo eetchie she ma goo!

Chucka lacka moo eetchie

Eetchie she ma ooga!

Ooga!

Ooga!

Ferb

Ooga ooga ooga ooga.

All

Chucka lacka moo eetchie she ma goo!

• Dr. Matt: That’s why I never wear underwear.

The End.