Free Schmoozy/Transcript

Free Schmoozy
Season 2, Episode 11a
Written by	LegoKyle14 and Magmon47
Directed by	LegoKyle14
Episode guide
Previous The Barn Buddy/Transcript	Next Man's Best Fiend/Transcript

Here's 20th episode for season 2 from Winnie the Pooh Goes Back at the Barnyard. Here's the Transcript.

The Beginning

(The scene begins with the gang having fun at the fair)

• Otis: Oh man. I love the county fair. It’s the only place you get a decent deep-fried cheese banana.
• Sci-Twi: Wow! These food trucks have such clever gimmicks! "Weak in the Cheese", "Avocados Constant", "Money for Waffles, and Chicken's Not for Free Either"...
• Human Fluttershy: (reading) "Lasagna Pop"?
• Sci-Twi: Okay, most have clever names. It's like they stopped trying after "Bye Focaccia".
• Human Fluttershy: (sees someone with a Lasangna Pop) Now I've seen everything.
• Phineas Flynn: Luckily, we got in free thanks to Mickey, Donald and Goofy for painting the rollercoaster.
• Goofy: Oh, it was nothing.

• Luna: I like this place because we're awesome at the talent show.
• Isabella: I like the prizes we can get.
• Pig: And I like the Henna Tattoo booth. (shows his stomach full of tattoos)
• Pip: Dude, could you’ve gotten more tattoos?
• Pig: I did. (shows his back)
• Abby: Hey, fellas, look. A real live water show. Can we go? Can we go? Can we go? Please, please, please?
• Otis: What? No way! I want to ride the Hurl-a-Wheel.
• Abby: Oh, come on, Otis. We can see the show first.
• Winnie the Pooh: She right, Otis. Who knows? Maybe it can be fun.
• Olive Doyle: Yeah. And besides, it takes you at least 2 hours to digest cheese bananas.

(Flashes to Pig as a doctor with picture chart)

• Pig: It’s true.

(Flash ends)

• Otis: Oh, darn your bovine logic. To the relevant boring thing Abby wants to do!

(At the show, everyone scoots in)

• Emcee: Welcome folks to the astonishing, non-refundable experience of a lifetime. Give it up for the star of our show, Schmoozy!

(The curtains draws back to reveal a giant whale)

• Otis: (jumps into Abby’s arm) Ahh, mad salmon!
• Abby: Otis, that’s not a mad salmon. That’s a captive sperm whale!
• Otis: Captive? That’s just wrong.
• Tigger: (whispers to the others) Let's agree not to take them to Sea World.
• Human Applejack: Agreed.
• Emcee: Behold, as I put this demon of the deep through his paces. Juggle. (Schmoozy does that) Good, have a chum ball.
• Abby: Otis, he makes that poor whale live in that tiny little tank.
• Pig: And even I wouldn’t eat chum balls.
• Otis: You’re right guys. This is a travesty. A disgrace. A distravagrace.
• Pip: You know that’s not a word, right?
• Otis: What are you, the word police?
• Scruffy: Come on, lighten up.
• Wanda: I think you guys might be over reacting a little.
• Human Rainbow Dash: Yeah, it's not like the owner gonna whip the whale if a mistake happens.
• Emcee: Shoot hoops. (Schmoozy does that) Play jazz clarinet. (Schmoozy does that but messes up a note which gets him whipped which make our heroes shocked) Bad Schmoozy! Sorry, folks. I got to correct him when he makes a mistake.
• Otis: That is so cruel and digrating.
• Pip: It’s dicruelagrating.
• Otis: Now, you’re getting it.
• Rabbit: Oh dear. Mercy me.
• Piglet: Oh dear. Mercy me too.
• Lola: That poor sperm whale.
• Jermey Jonson: I bet he misses the ocean so he roam free again.
• Abby: Otis, we got to do something to help that poor critter.
• Otis: Abby’s right, guys. We gotta free Schmoozy!
• Pip: Yeah!
• Freddy: Yeah!
• Pip: Yeah!
• Pig: (eating a chum ball) Eh, I take it back. These chum balls aren’t bad.

(Later After the show)

• Emcee: (counting money) 12...13...Only 14 dollars! You sorry sack of blubber. No dinner for you. Next time, be more entertaining.
• Freddy: (with Peck in a shark costume) Hello, my good human. I like to audition for your water show.
• Emcee: What in the name of refried beans are you supposed to be?
• Freddy: I’m a shark with decent language skills and I gotta dance! (starts dancing as the others sneaks into the truck)
• Emcee: Not bad. I could use some new talent and. (looks at thier feet) Hey, wait a minute! Sharks don’t got no feets.
• Peck: He’s onto us. Go to Plan B.
• Freddy: My dramatic monologue?
• Peck: No bite his butt!

(Freddy bites the owner as he and Peck gets into the truck)

• Peck: We took care of him Otis.
• Freddy: And I think we nailed the audition.
• Otis: That’s weird. Let’s roll! (drives through and out of the county fair)

(A few minutes, at the lake)

• Otis: There you are Schmoozy, the deep end of Lake Deep Lake. Now swim! (Schmoozy flies over Otis) Swim you majestic creature and don't look back! (Schmoozy suddenly falls on the bridge) Huh, though he would have cleared that. Well, let's push him in.

(Everyone pushes Scmoozy into the water as he start speaking whale)

• Candace Flynn: That’s weird. How come he can’t speak like you guys do?
• Otis: He’s probably not very bright. Let Freddy talk to him.
• Freddy: Well, I did take Beginner’s Whale in high school. But, I don’t remember much.
• Milly: There’s classes for talking whale communication?
• Adyson: Freddy went to high school?

(Freddy clears his throat and communicates with Schmoozy)

• Peck: Wow, Freddy, what did he say to ya?
• Freddy: He says he wants to shampoo my Tuesday.
• Phineas Flynn: We should have brought our animal translator.
• Human Fluttershy: I think he says is Thank you for freeing me back in the wild.
• Timmy Turner: Wow! How did you know that, Fluttershy?
• Human Fluttershy: I'm also took that class when I'm at CHS.
• Abby: Fellas, I’m really proud of all of us. For today, we have helped a fellow critter in need. We took a bold stand and let the whole world know that this noble whale is our bro--(suddenly eaten by Schmoozy)
• Pig: Was that supposed to happen?
• Otis: Sweet cud, that thing just swallow Abby!
• Peck: What do we do?
• Pig: Stand back and try not to look delicious!
• Otis: We gotta find a boat, catch that whale, and save Abby! Who knows what stomach acid is digesting her even as we speak.

(Inside the whale)

• Abby: Otis, Help! Where are you? It’s dark and it smells horrible!
• ???: It’s despair you’ll be smelling.
• Abby: (screams) Who are you?
• ???: I’m the only friend you’ve got now.

(The light and reveals to be a sea captain)

• Captain Tom: Welcome to Hoboken’s hine quarters. The name’s Captain Tom. I was swallowed back about 6, and I’ve been trapped here ever since.
• Abby: You mean there’s no way out?
• Captain Tom: The only way out is through the blowhole. But, it’s a dark and sticky road.
• Abby: Well, I don’t care. Come on, let’s get out of here.
• Captain Tom: But you just got here and I’m so lonely. Tell ya what. I’ll show ya the blowhole, if you plays me a game of Pinochle first.
• Abby: Pinochle, are you crazy?
• Captain Tom: (laughs) What was the question?

The Middle

(Back the surface, the rest of the gang prepares to set sail)

• Otis: Batten down the poop deck! Swab the main sails! Mr. Pip, how's the weather?
• Pip: Mostly sunny with 60% chance of whale.
• Otis: And by Neptune's knee britches, I'll have that whale. Mr. Pig, have you prepare the bait?
• Pig: Aye aye, Otis. Chum balls at the ready.
• Otis: Chum-tastic. Ms. Twilight, everything accounted for?
• Sci-Twi: Life vests – on. Nautical dictionary – memorized. And course – set. Smooth sailing ahead. Ready about!
• Human Pinkie Pie: I'm about ready for a snack. Care to try a caramel cream puff?
• Sci-Twi: Mm-mm.
• Human Rarity: Well, just serendipitous that we're setting sail, because I am winded.
• Buford: What's in the trunk?
• Human Rarity: Hmm? Oh, just a change of clothes and a coat in case it gets chilly. Also, a small folding table, various tools, a fashion reference library...and a bag of gems. You know, the essentials.
• Baljeet: You'd had to ask.
• Sci-Twi: The essentials, right. My calculations accounted for the weight of the boat, but I forgot to account for Rarity.
• Human Rarity: Hmph.
• Otis: Ms. Pie, at sea monologue.
• Human Pinkie Pie: At sea, nothing's accounted for. Its tides are fierce yet sublime, as beautiful as they are chaotic. 
• Otis: Fair enough. Mr. Peck, where's Mr. Freddy?
• Peck: Oh, he's working with Fluttershy on his sperm whale language tapes.
• Radio Voice: Where is the local library? (repeats the phrase in whale)

(Freddy tries saying it)

• Human Fluttershy: Close. But you're over working your diphthongs.
• Peck: If you can't catch him, maybe Freddy can reason with the big lug.
• Otis: There's no reason with that salt-encrusted sea spawn! He wants to put shampoo on the day of the week! Now let's shove off onto the briny swells!

(Everyone didn't get it)

• Pig: Come again?
• Timmy Turner: That's pirate talk for set sail for adventure.
• -What now?
• -One more time?
• Otis: Make the boat go?
• Pig: Oh.
• Peck: Right.
• Pip: Boat away!

(Back inside the whale)

• Abby: By the way, I'm not a talking cow. (giggles)
• Captain Tom: And I'm not a whistling mud puppy. Ribic, my deal. (laughs crazy)

(Abby was shock and confused about Captain Tom said. Meanwhile, back on the surface)

• Otis: Ok, Pig, I'll hold her steady. You got the chum ball?
• Pig:(ties it to a fishing pool) I got it right here.
• Otis: Good.
• Rabbit: How's it coming up there lookouts?
• Gretchen: Nothing yet.
• Phineas Flynn: Hey, Ferb! Any sign of the great white whale?
• Candace Flynn: You guys better not be talking about me!
• Olive Doyle: And actually it's a sperm whale.
• Scruffy: Well, keeps your eyes out for a giant man eating creature of the ocean
• Wanda: Yeah. That rotten piece of meat is our only bait to save Abby.
• Pig: (Then he ate it) Oh, you should've said that part first.
• Otis: (shocked) Wha--? Why do you eat everything!?!
• Cosmo: What can he say? It's in their nature to eat everything in sight.
• Winnie the Pooh: I should know well.
• Ginger: We need more bait.
• Holly: I know and our prey isn't working so well.
• Mickey Mouse: Yeah, you think the whale gonna chase that?
• Buford: Look at me, I'm a shark! I can poop in the ocean!
• Baljeet: But you are not going to, right?
• Buford: Keep pushing, dweeb.
• Pig: Don't panic. I think I got some pretzels in my drink cool--(suddenly eaten by Schmoozy)
• Otis: PIG!!! CURSE YOU, SCHMOOZYYYY!!!!! (sobs)
• Pip: First Abby, now Pig! He's picking us off one by one!
• Lola: I'm too young to be eaten by whales!
• Isabella: Me too.
• Lucy: It's hopeless.
• Donald Duck: Otis, we gotta turn back.
• Otis: (finishes sobbing) Not while I command this boat! Tack hard to starboard!
• Peck: What?
• Otis: Just turn the boat in this direction.
• Peck: This one?
• Otis: Yeah, this way.
• Peck: Oh, good. Hey, this is great.
• Otis: Yeah, it's nice, huh.
• Peck: Yeah.
• Otis: The rutter's titanium.

(Inside the whale, Pig jumps right in)

• Abby: Pig!
• Pig: Abby, help me! I was just swallowed by a whale!
• Abby: I know. Pig, this is Tom, a crazy sea captain. He'll show us the way out if we play card with him
• Pig: What?!?! This is no time for cards! Our lives are in horrible--(looks down) Hey, is that Pinochle? Oh, deal me in.
• Captain Tom: (laughs as he deals Pig some cards) Happy too, big fella! Happy too.

(Back on the surface)

• -Ok what the plan now.
• Stephanie: Olivia, you and Zobo use your sonar detector to locate our whale.
• Emma: Deeplake Monster: Ruthless eater of friends or lover of humanity
• Andrea: Really? Ok, that is so not helping
• Zobo: Cry me a river.
• -What does that mean
• Olivia: That's Zobo for, Sonar technology activated.

(Zobo jumps into the water and begins searching for the whale)

• Olivia: Get ready. The whale is close
• -It's gone.
• Olivia: Turn around. Why won't it--?!?! The sonar system has ben disable.
• Phineas Flynn: Do you think Zobo found Schmoozy?
• Ferb Fletcher: No. It found him.
• -Zobo! It's right behind you!
• Olivia: ZOBO!
• All: Olivia!

(Olivia swims for Zobo back up to the surface before Schmoozy could get them)

• -Are you ok?
• Olivia: Yeah.
• Otis: Guys, we gotta save our friends!
• Peck: I'll do whatever it takes, Otis.
• Piglet: And so will we.
• Luan: Yeah, that whale made one mistake. You mess with our friends you get the harpoon.
• Gretchen: Too bad we we won't get our Saving a Whale Patch.
• Goofy: But at least you'll get your Saving a Human From a Whale patch.
• Holly: True.
• Winnie the Pooh: Don't worry. We'll get our friends back from that whale or my name isn't Winnie the Pooh. Which it is.
• Otis: Great! Peck, take this box of unstable dynamite. When I give the word, fling it into the lake. The blast might draw the beast to the surface.
• Peck: You got it! Wait what?
• Pip: Whale ho!
• Lincoln: He's coming in at your 8.
• Leni: 8 what?
• Otis: Raise the mizzenmast! Hoist the yardarms and other boat words!

(Schmooze rams the ship, so hard that it ate All of our heroes [except Fluttershy and Pooh] including Pip)

• Pip: Oh man.
• Otis: PIIIIIIIIIIIPPP!!!!!
• Freddy: (arrives with Fluttershy) Otis, Otis! We figured out what the whale's been saying! He's saying, "Chase me"!
• Otis: Chase me? He must think this is some sort of game. How do you say, "Please give our friends back" in whale?
• Human Fluttershy: Oh, that's simple. It's--(suddenly eaten)
• Winnie the Pooh: Oh no! He got Fluttershy!
• Freddy: I think what she was trying to say was--(Eaten by Schmoozy)
• Otis: WOULD YOU STOP EATING OUR FRIENDS!?!?! At least you're still safe, Peck.
• Peck: Yeah. Knock wood. (knocks on dynamite, it exploded, sending Peck flying, and the ship started to sink)
• Otis: Ok, that was kinda our fault, but this general predicament could still be largely attributable to you! SCHMOOOOOZZZZZYYYY!!!!!

The Ending

(Back inside the whale)

• Captain Tom: Pinochle, you swabbies! (laughs) Let's go again. (Everyone gets bored of playing) You wanna see the blowhole or don't ya?
• Otis: It can't end like this. Do you hear me Schmoozy? I WON'T LET IT END LIKE THIS!!!!

(Schmoozy mimics what's he saying)

• Otis: Stop playing around!
• Winnie the Pooh: Wait a minute. I think Freddy was right about us chasing him.
• Otis: I think you're right, Pooh. He's been playing his whole time. Hey, big fella, wanna have some fun? Let's make funny faces. (makes one as Schmoozy does the same) Good, now do this. (makes a raspberry as Schmoozy does it to)
• Abby: Oh for crying out loud! We've been playing for hours.
• Rabbit: I can't take it anymore! I'm losing my mind!
• Human Applejack: Our patience is running out, you know!
• Cadance: So, take us to the blowhole right now!
• Pig: Yeah!
• Freddy: Come on!
• Pip: Right now!
• Captain Tom: Yeah, about that... I don't really know where the blowhole is.
• Tigger: (shutters) What!?!
• Piglet: What!?!
• Rabbit: What?
• Eeyore: Huh?
• Timmy Turner: What?!?!
• Cosmo and Wanda: What?!?!
• Lincoln: What?!?
• Loud Girls: What?
• Scruffy: What?
• Phineas Flynn: What!?
• Candace Flynn: What?
• Isabella: What?
• Burford: What?
• Baljeet: What?
• Fireside Girls: What?
• Jermey: What?
• Sunset Shimmer: Wait, what?
• Human Pinkie Pie: What?
• Human Rarity: What!?

()

• Captain Tom: Yeah, I know. Sorry.
• Otis: Oh, ok, here's a good one. (slurps some water and shot it throw his nose. Schmoozy takes in a deep breath) He's doing it. That's right. Blow, you scurvy sea cow. BLOOOOOOOOWWW!!!!!

(Schmoozy blows out so much water that it spits everyone back on the shore)

• Otis: I did it! They're safe!
• Winnie the Pooh: Now, how do we get back?

(Suddenly Schmoozy rises above them)

• Otis: Whoa, hey there, big fella, down boy, good boy. Nice sperm whale.
• Abby: There's Otis!
• Leni: And there's Pooh Bear!
• Pip: Thank goodness they're safe.
• Winnie the Pooh: Uh, Schmoozy could you be so kind and take us back to shore?

(Schmoozy swats them back to the shore with his tail)

• Otis: Whale pain.
• Human Rainbow Dash: Here they come.
• Sunset Shimmer: They're coming in pretty fast
• Isabella: Quick, Girls! Sashes!

(The Fireside Girls flip their sashes out like a trampoline)

• Fireside Girls: Hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup!

(Pooh bounces off the trampoline and lands in Isabella's arms. But Otis lands in the sand)

• Otis: Oh, hey, guys.
• Isabella: Sorry about that!

(A couple minutes later, Freddy finishes up his conversation with Schoomzy)

• Pip: Wow, Freddy and the whale have been talking for a long time.
• Mickey Mouse: I guess those lessons really worked out for him.
• Human Fluttershy: They sure did, cause’ I got a great grade in class you know.
• Olive Doyle: I wonder what they're saying right now.
• Freddy: Really? I know. I know. I feel it. (laughs) Oh my, that's priceless.
• Pig: What did he say?
• Freddy: No idea.
• Otis: You know captain, you're welcome to stay at the barnyard til you get your life together
• Captain Tom: No, I've been on the outside for...several seconds now. I can see that the world's change since I've been swallowerd. There's only one place I belong...if Schmoozy were to have me.

(Schmoozy rolls out his tongue for him)

• Otis: Bye, crazy person!

(Everyone said their goodbyes)

• Captain Tom: Take care! I'll always remember you! Let's email! My screen name is---! (went under)
• Abby: Well, now that's was quite an adventure.
• Otis: Sure was. Still, I can't help but feel we forgotten something.
• Lori: Or someone.
• Eeyore: If you ask me, not that anybody is, but has anyone seen Peck?

(Suddenly Peck falls out of the sky)

• Peck: What did I miss?

THE END!