This is the episode transcript of Gorilla My Dreams/Mario and the Red Baron Koopa.
The Plumber Rap: Part 1[]
Mario: Hey, paisanos! It's the Super Mario Bros. Super Show!
[theme song]
[Singers]
We're the Mario Brothers, and plumbing's our game
We're not like the others who get all the fame
If your sink is in trouble, you can call us on the double
We're faster than the others, you'll be hooked on the brothers. Uh!
H-hooked on the brothers
Gimme gimme, gimme gimme
Yo, you're in for a treat, so hang on to your seat
Get ready for adventure and remarkable feats
You'll meet Koopas, the Troopas, the Princess and the others
Hanging with the plumbers, you'll be hooked on the brothers!
To the bridge!
Uh, uh!
I said-a h-h-h-h-hooked on the brothers!
The brothers!
The brothers!
Gorilla My Dreams: Part 1[]
[upbeat music]
Mario: Hey, Luigi!
Luigi: Yo?
Mario: Have you seen my boxer shorts?
Luigi: Yeah, here you go, Mario.
Mario: Thanks.
Radio Announcer: Just a reminder all you plumbers and plumbettes, tonight's the big costume ball at the lovely Cesspool Ballroom.
Luigi: (laughs) All the plumbers and plumbettes of Brooklyn are gonna shine tonight. Heh heh heh.
Mario: Boy, I can hardly wait to wear my bunny suit.
Luigi: Oh, geez, that reminds me. I left my gorilla outfit in the truck. I'll be right back.
Mario: Hey, I'd better make sure the rest of the suit fits me because I've gained a pound or two.
Luigi: Ha ha.
Radio Announcer: We interrupt this important bulletin. A vicious gorilla has escaped from the Ding-A-Ling Brothers Circus in Brooklyn. Keep your doors locked.
Mario: Hey, Luigi! Luigi, look at me! Look at my bunny suit! Hey, Luigi! Where are you? Look at this! Hey, Luigi!
[gorilla growling]
Mario: Luigi, what's the matter with you? Look at all this mess. Look at that ugly suit. Come on, clean it up, clean it up, Luigi. Don't give me no lip. Luigi, are you in there? Whoa, you better do something about that breath. Oh, that did it, Luigi, that did it! I'm gonna get you and run you right through the door!
crash
Mario: Okay, okay, so it's not an ugly suit.
(Fades to black to a commercial bumper.)
Mario [vo]: Super Mario Bros. Super Show will return.
Mario [vo]: Now back to the Super Mario Bros. Super Show.
The Plumber Rap: Part 2[]
[theme song]
Here we go, yo!
It's the Mario Brothers, and plumbing's their game
Found the secret warp zone while working on the drain
Lend the Princess a hand in the Mushroom Land
Join the action with the plumbers, you'll be hooked on the brothers!
Now, evil Koopa and his Troopas are up to misbehaving
They kidnapped the Princess, Mushroom Land needs saving
Amusing and confusing, everybody discovers
They can't help but be hooked on the brothers. Uh!
Mario and the Red Baron Koopa[]
(The episode opens to Pasta Land, a place where the scenery resembles forks and pasta noodles, and the ground looks like a tablecloth. The Mario Gang are with a bunch of Mushroom people, and eating spaghetti at picnic tables.)
Mario: (narrating) Plumber's Log number 6-21. The people of Pasta Land were throwing us a celebration, 'cause we chased off creepy old King Koopa. We didn't realize how soon he'd be back.
(Up in the sky, King Koopa, who's wearing a red scarf and a flight helmet, is driving what appears to be a cross between a fighter plane and a flying carpet. Attached to the back of the plane is a cloud, which a Lakitu is riding.)
King Koopa: Lakitu, is our secret weapon ready?
Lakitu: Ready, your repulsiveness!
King Koopa: Watch out, plumbers! Here comes Koopa, the party poopa! (laughs evilly)
(Back at the picnic, everyone is enjoying themselves, but when they stop when a large cloud moves overhead, creating a large shadow.)
Toad: Oops! Something's wrong, Mario.
(Mario is still eating pasta.)
Mario: Right, it needs more meat sauce.
(Lighting shoots down from the cloud and hits Mario's plate, which blows up in his face. Rain then starts to fall, and everyone panics. Mario runs over to the cauldron of pasta.)
Mario: Save the spaghetti! Save the spaghetti!
King Koopa: Nice work, Lakitu. Now I know why you're the boss of the clouds!
Lakitu: Thank you, your Koopaness.
King Koopa: And those Pasta Landers are gonna find out I'm the boss of everything! Serve 'em the Spiny eggs!
(Lakitu throws several eggs at the ground, which turn into Spinies upon impact. The Spinies proceed to chase after people. The Mario Bros. are hiding under a table with the cauldron, and Mario pulls a Spiny out of it.)
Mario: Uh-oh! Spaghetti a la Spiny! I smell a Koopa!
(Luigi points to the sky.)
Luigi: Worse! I see a Koopa!
King Koopa: (through the megaphone) Attention, all citizens of Pasta Land! I'm Koopa capturing your whole country! And this is how!
(King Koopa looks back at Lakitu, who presses a button on a remote control. A strange looking machine with several satellite dishes, a shower head, and an air conditioner attached to it rises up into the air. Water starts to pour down from a shower head.)
Mario: That piece of junk doesn't scare anybody!
King Koopa: (through the megaphone) That piece of junk is my Wicked Weather Satellite! And you better be scared.
(Snow blows out of the air conditioner and all over Pasta Land, scaring everyone.)
Princess Toadstool: Oh! Oh, no! No! No!
King Koopa: (through the megaphone) Unless you surrender Pasta Land to me, I'll bury the whole kingdom under a mile of snow.
Lakitu: You'd better do what King Koopa says or we'll freeze you to your knees.
King Koopa: (through the megaphone) You got exactly 17 minutes to make up your Mushroom minds.
(King Koopa puts the megaphone down, laughs, and turns around to Lakitu.)
King Koopa: Come on, Lakitu!
(King Koopa and Lakitu fly off, while snow continues to fall.)
Princess Toadstool: This is terrible! What are we going to do?
Toad: Open a ski resort?
Mario: We gotta get up there somehow and stop Koopa's snowmaker!
Luigi: Up in the sky? How?
Toad: I know! The big beanstalk! The one we passed on the way in!
Mario: Now you're talking, Toad! To the beanstalk!
(Later, the Mario gang are climbing up a beanstalk, which is made out of long green noodles.)
Mario: The snow's getting worse!
Princess Toadstool: Think of those poor, freezing Pasta Land people, and keep climbing.
(They reach the top of the beanstalk.)
Luigi: Are you sure this thing will hold all of us?
Mario: Are you kidding? This thing's as strong as a salami!
(The noodle Mario is holding onto is starting to lean over.)
Mario: Whoa! Would you believe, a wet noodle?
(The whole beanstalk bends over a bit, positioning the Mario gang right next to the weather machine, which tries to reach for.)
Toad: You almost got it, Mario! Keep reaching!
(King Koopa flies past in his carpet-plane.)
King Koopa: Think you're clever, don't you, ya little pipesqueaks? Well, in the immortal words of the great King Koopa: what goes up, must come down.
(King Koopa shoots a fireball from his plane at the beanstalk, causing it to break and fall over.)
King Koopa: (yelling) BEANSTALK!
Mario: Mama mia!
Luigi: Yipe!
Princess Toadstool: Look out!
Toad: Help!
(The beanstalk hits the ground, and the group lands in the snow.)
Toad: Well, it was a nice try, but Koopa beat us.
Luigi: Yeah, maybe we should just cool it.
Princess Toadstool: Come on, you guys! We gotta stop that stupid Koopa before the Pasta Land people turn into Mushroomsicles!
Luigi: Can't we just get them some coats?
Toad: Wait a minute! I think I’m standing on some kind of lever! I'll check it out.
(Toad dives under the snow and pulls a lever. A platform underneath the Mario Bros. rises out of the ground and moves upwards into the sky.)
Mario: Hey, it's a Cloud Land elevator!
(High in the sky, above the snow, is a cloud. On it is a shack with the word "SAM'S" on it. In front of the shack is a sign that says "USED CARPETS U-BUY WE FLY". There are also some flying carpets and Sam Shalam himself, a Middle Eastern turban wearing man.)
Sam Shalam: Step right up, step right up! Used carpets! You buy, we fly.
(Sam Shalam proceeds to hit one of the carpets with a lollipop that has a face. The platform that the Mario Bros. are on goes up through the cloud and knocks the Mario Bros. onto the carpet, which Sam Shalam pulls out from under them.)
Sam Shalam: Watch it, will ya? This is a genuine Persian carpet! Made in Hong Kong.
Mario: Does it fly?
Sam Shalam: Not yet, I'm still getting the bugs out.
(Sam Shalam smacks the carpet with his lollipop and some bugs pop out of it.)
Sam Shalam: I'm Sam Shalam, and this is my assistant, Slammer.
(Sam Shalam points to the lollipop.)
Slammer: Pleased to meet you.
Sam Shalam: Just look around! You won't find any finer flying carpets in all of Cloud Land!
Slammer: Unless you look somewhere else!
(Sam Shalam hits Slammer against the carpet again.)
Slammer: Ow!
Mario: How much are the carpets?
Sam Shalam: How much ya got?
(Mario pulls a few things out of his pocket and presents them to Sam Shalam.)
Mario: One stick of gum, and three faucet washers.
Sam Shalam: Sold!
(Sam Shalam takes the junk and hands Mario a rolled up carpet.)
Luigi: Is this carpet fireproof?
Sam Shalam: Fireproof, waterproof, and goofproof! Guaranteed to last until it falls apart!
Mario: Great! Come on, Luigi! Now we can fix that old Koopa snow blower.
(Later, the Mario Bros. are flying around on the carpet, which looks like a normal carpet, except that it has a steering wheel and is putting clouds of gas.)
Luigi: I'm not sure this fireproof carpet is worth three faucet washers.
Mario: Not to mention a stick of gum! Uh-oh, there's that creepo Koopa!
(Mario points to King Koopa, who flies towards them in his carpet-plane.)
King Koopa: Have I got a hot one for you, drain brains.
(King Koopa shoots a fireball at the Mario Bros' carpet, and it burns up.)
Mario: Maybe Sam Shalam meant fire-poof! Yipes!
(The Mario Bros. start to fall.)
Luigi: Help! We're gondolas!
Mario: That's goners, Luigi! And you're right!
(Fades to black to a commercial bumper.)
Mario [vo]: Be right back, paisanos.
Mario [vo]: We're back, paisanos.
(Meanwhile, Princess Toadstool, Toad, and the Pasta Landers are watching the Mario Bros. fall.)
Luigi: Screaming spumoni!
Mario: Look out, ground! Here we come!
Toad: Look, Princess! Mario and Luigi's flying carpet has become invisible!
Princess Toadstool: It's not invisible! They're crashing! Oh, what can we can catch them with?
Toad: How about the town trampoline?
Princess Toadstool: Get it, quick!
Mario: Look! They're trying to save us!
(Princess Toadstool, Toad, and a few Mushroomers are trying to position a trampoline where they think the Mario Bros. will land.)
Princess Toadstool: Let's get under him! Left! No, to the right!
Mario: A little to the left!
Mario and Luigi: Whoa!
(The Mario Bros. land on the trampoline, and bounce back into the air.)
Luigi: Leaping lasagna! We're falling up!
Mario: That's right! Now we can get our money back from that fast talking flying carpet salesman.
(Cut to Sam Shalam's lot, where Sam Shalam is sitting on a carpet, admiring the junk he was paid with. The Mario Bros. land on his carpet.)
Sam Shalam: Hi there! Ready for a trade-in? I got a spiffy little carpet that belonged to a little old lady from Pastadena!
Mario: Slow down, Shalam! The last carpet you sold us wasn't fireproof!
Luigi: And we're really burned up about it.
Mario: Yeah! We're trying to save Pasta Land from Koopa, and your lousy carpet ruined everything!
Sam Shalam: Koopa? Why did you not say so? He stole his carpet from me! That reptile reprobate gives cheating a bad name. Take any carpet you want! No charge!
Mario: We'll take two!
Luigi: Two?
Mario: Relax, Luigi! I got a plan to throw Koopa for a loopa!
(Fades to Pasta Land. The Mario Gang are gathered around a biplane with carpet-like wings.)
Toad: It's a cool crate, dudes! But where's the engine?
Mario: That's the beauty of having wings made out of flying carpets! It doesn't need an engine!
Luigi: Now if we just knew somebody crazy enough to fly it.
Mario: You're gonna fly it!
Luigi: M-me?
Mario: Would you rather be the tail gunner, and get shot at by Koopa?
Luigi: Hey, I may be crazy, but I'm not dumb.
Toad: That fireball tail gun might keep Koopa away, but how are you gonna destroy the Wicked Weather Satellite?
Mario: Funny you should ask, Mr. Bomber dear! You're gonna blast it out of the sky with this!
(Mario hands Toad a bomb. Transitions to the weather machine. King Koopa, who's no longer in costume, and Lakitu are sitting on lounge chairs on a cloud next to it.)
King Koopa: Nothing like relaxing in the sun, eh, Lakitu?
Lakitu: I prefer clouds myself, but at least it's snowing and freezing down there! (laughs)
King Koopa: (laughs)
(Fades to Pasta Land. Princess Toadstool and the mayor are sitting on a picnic table, and Princess Toadstool is holding a CB radio.)
Princess Toadstool: Control tower to Captain Luigi. You're clear for takeoff!
(Luigi is in the pilot's seat, Mario is in the rear seat, and Toad is sitting on the plane between the two seats.)
Luigi: Maybe we should do this tomorrow. The weather isn't safe.
Princess Toadstool: Luigi, if we don't do this now, the weather won't be safe, and the Pasta people will lose their kingdom!
Luigi: Oh, yeah. Anybody else got an excuse for not going?!
Mario: OK, Luigi! Take her up!
(Luigi starts the plane and takes off. Soon the plane turns upside down.)
Mario: Hey, Luigi! We're flying upside-down!
Luigi: We are? No wonder I don't wanna look!
(The plane turns right-side up.)
Mario: Uh-oh! I see cloudy days ahead!
(The plane flies through the cloud that King Koopa and Lakitu are on.)
King Koopa: The Mario Brothers!
Lakitu: Oh, no! My cloud has sprung a leak!
(Air escapes through the hole in the cloud as King Koopa gets back into his carpet-plane.)
King Koopa: I'll fix those flying faucet freaks for good!
(The Mario Bros. fly up to the machine.)
Mario: Way to roll the old rigatoni, Luigi. Hey, Toad, are you ready to blast that satellite?
(Toad gets onto the wing and sets off the bomb.)
Toad: Let's go, Mario Bro! Bombs away! It's ticking, let's give her a licking! Special delivery for stoopa Koopa.
(Toad tosses the bomb onto the weather machine. The plane flies away as the bomb blows up, along with the machine. The Mario Bros. and Toad cheer, as well as Princess Toadstool and the Pasta Landers.)
Princess Toadstool: They stopped the snow! Pasta Land's safe!
(The song of the instrumental version of "It's a Dog's Life" starts up. King Koopa is wearing his red scarf and flight helmet again.)
King Koopa: OK, that's it. I'm tired of just being bad. It's time to get rotten!
(King Koopa shoots some fireballs at the Mario Bros' plane, but they swerve out of the way. Toad taps Luigi on the shoulder, and he does a loop de loop. Mario and King Koopa shoot a few fireballs at each other, and King Koopa's carpet burns up.)
King Koopa: Aah! Yipes! Don't ever steal a used flying carpet. (screams)
(The song ends. King Koopa falls down and pulls out his parachute.)
King Koopa: I'll get you next time, you meddling Marios!
(Fades to Pasta Land, where the snow has melted away. Everyone is gathered around the plane.)
Princess Toadstool: In honor of your heroism, and for ridding the skies of Koopa, Lakitu, and the Wicked Weather Satellite, the Pasta Land people bestow upon you the rank of Pasta Land Heroes!
(Princess Toadstool presents the Mario Bros. and Toad with medals as the crowd cheers.)
Mario: Does that come with spaghetti?
(Everyone laughs.)
Gorilla My Dreams: Part 2[]
Mario: I can't believe it.
Luigi: Yo, Mario. Come on, tell me the truth, what do you think of the costume, huh?
Mario: You know something, Luigi, I'm not even gonna talk to you after the way you tossed me into that brick wall. And beside that, I was picking concrete out of my hair for an hour and a half.
Luigi: What are you talking crazy for? Now, come on, tell me the truth, what do you think of the costume?
Mario: You look terrible, OK? Beside that, you made a lousy gorilla.
Luigi: Oh, thanks a lot. I never said nothing about your stupid bunny suit.
Mario: You know something? That reminds me, I got to find out those bunny ears.
Luigi: The last time I saw them, Mama was using them for oven mitts.
Mario: I gotta look for my bunny ears. All right, all right, Luigi, you clean up this mess around here, it looks terrible, and I'm gonna go look for my bunny ears, all right? Clean up the garbage, go ahead.
[gorilla growling]
Luigi: I go to all the trouble to put on a suit that would fool me a real gorilla, and what do you get? Oh, great, big joke, Mario. Look at this. Where'd you get this ugly suit? Oh, sure, sure, very funny, very funny. Come on, will ya? Enough is enough. Mario? Mario? Uh-oh...
(After a Mario head transition...)
Mario: Watch some scenes from the next Legend of Zelda. Me and Luigi will be right back. Me and Luigi... Me and... We'll be right back.
Gorilla My Dreams: Part 3[]
Mario: This is terrible. I've used up 14 pounds of bananas and I still don't know which one of you is Luigi.
Luigi: How many times have I gotta tell you? I'm Luigi, I'm the one who talks.
Mario: Yeah, it could be a trick. Besides, you ate the bananas. But the real Luigi can fix these pipes.
Luigi: Let me at it!
Mario: Hey, we don't have a lot of time, let's get this done without any monkey business. Monkey business? (laughs) Hey, brother or not, fella, you're hired.
Luigi: That's not fair.
Mario: Now what am I gonna do? Well, let's see here. Just a minute. Ah, wait a minute, I got a question here, that only Luigi would know. How many warts on Mama Mario's nose?
Luigi: Lucky, lucky guess.
Mario: Hey, we're not talking about the one on her chin. Ah, I give up, you two guys work it out. I'm going to the ball.
Luigi: Ah, he's just jealous because he don't have a date. Listen, I got an idea. After the dance, I figured maybe we can get some espressos, some cannoli, and a little spumoni. Say, you wouldn't happen to know how to tango, do you? I've been dying to meet a girl that can tango.
(Fades to a commercial bumper.)
Mario [vo]: Stick around, paisanos. We'll be right back.
Ending Segment[]
Luigi: Until next time, everybody...
Mario and Luigi: Do the Mario!