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Pooh's Adventures of A Christmas Story is a Winnie the Pooh crossover film made by Yakko Warner. The original version co-directed by R.A. first appeared on Vimeo sometime around December 2012. A remastered remake version made individually by Yakko Warner will appear on Odysee and Archive.org in the near future.

Plot[]

The film is presented in a series of vignettes, with narration provided by the adult Ralphie Parker reminiscing on one particular Christmas when he was nine years old. Ralphie wanted only one thing for that Christmas: A Red Ryder Carbine Action 200-shot Range Model air rifle. Ralphie's desire is rejected by his mother, his teacher Miss Shields, and even a Santa Claus at Higbee's department store, all giving him the same warning: "You'll shoot your eye out."

Christmas morning arrives and Ralphie dives into his presents. Although he does receive some presents he enjoys, Ralphie ultimately is disappointed that he did not receive the one thing he wanted more than anything. After it appears all of the presents have been opened, Ralphie's father, "The Old Man," directs Ralphie to look at one last present that he had hidden. Ralphie opens it to reveal the Red Ryder gun he wanted.

Ralphie takes the gun outside and fires it at a target perched on a metal sign in the backyard. However, the BB ricochets back at Ralphie and knocks his glasses off. While searching for them, thinking he has indeed shot his eye out, Ralphie accidentally steps on his glasses and breaks them. He lies to his mother that a falling icicle broke his glasses, and she believes him.

Ralphie is in bed on Christmas night with his gun by his side. The adult Ralphie narrates that this was the best present he had ever received or would ever receive.

Other vignettes:

The Old Man wins a "major award" in a contest, which turns out to be a lamp in the shape of a woman's leg wearing a fishnet stocking, which was derived from the logo for Nehi (pronounced "knee-high") pop, a popular soft drink of the period. The Old Man is overjoyed by the lamp, but Mrs. Parker does not like it and a feud over it — referred to by adult Ralphie as "The Battle of the Lamp" — develops and results in the lamp's "accidental" destruction.

The Old Man also fights a never-ending battle with the malfunctioning furnace in the Parker home. His frustrations cause him to swear quite often, including one profanity-laden rant that the adult Ralphie says "is still hanging in space over Lake Michigan."

Still another source of frustration for The Old Man is the dogs that belong to the next-door hillbilly neighbors, the Bumpuses. The Bumpuses own "at least 785 smelly hound dogs" that harass The Old Man whenever he comes home from work. On Christmas Day, the dogs ruin the family's dinner by romping through their kitchen and eating their turkey. This results in the family having Christmas dinner at a Chinese restaurant instead.

Ralphie and his friends Flick and Schwartz are tormented by the neighborhood bullies Scut Farkus and Grover Dill. Ralphie eventually snaps and beats up Farkus.

Flick accepts a dare from Schwartz to stick his tongue onto the school flagpole. His tongue freezes onto the pole, requiring assistance from the police and fire department to free him.

After getting a Christmas tree, on the ride home one of The Old Man's tires becomes flat, so he goes to fix it. Mrs. Parker encourages Ralphie to help. When The Old Man flips the hub cap full of lug nuts that Ralphie is holding, Ralphie says, "Oh (bleep)!" but he actually said the bad word. At home, Ralphie is given Lifebuoy soap in his mouth. His mother asks where he heard the word. He actually has heard from The Old Man every day but chickens out and says Schwartz. This leads to his mother calling Schwartz's mother on the phone. As a result, Schwartz's mother beats him and Ralphie is punitively sent to bed.

For homework, Ralphie and his class are assigned to write on what they want for Christmas. Ralphie knows what he is going to write about: The Red Ryder BB Gun. He imagines the ultimate A+, but gets a C+, with Miss Shields writing, "You'll shoot your eye out!" on the paper.

Ralphie, a fan of the Little Orphan Annie radio program, eagerly awaits the arrival of a decoder pin he has applied to receive. When it comes in the mail, he uses it to decode a secret message at the end of the day's broadcast, but is disappointed to find it is only an advertisement for Ovaltine, the show's sponsor.

Trivia[]

Transcript[]

Pooh's Adventures of A Christmas Story/Transcript

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