Pooh's Adventures of No Time to Spy: A Loud House Movie/Transcript

Here is the transcript for Pooh's Adventures of No Time to Spy: A Loud House Movie

Prologue/37 Years Ago

(The scene opens up to a shot of a mountain, much like the Paramount Pictures logo. The scene breaks to a plane chase by a young Myrtle flying from two enemy jets shooting lasers)

• Young Myrtle: (sees her rearview mirror was shoot) Hey, watch it! This is a lease! [growls] I think it's time we go our separate ways. (ties up the controls, steering wheel, and stick shift together.)
• X: (on comm) Agent 28, what are you doing?
• Young Myrtle: (dons goggles) What I do best: Improvising. (kicks the shift into high gear)

(As the enemy jets continue to fire, Myrtle rolls the plane upside-down and ejects herself, skydiving as the enemy jets give chase to the empty plane. Myrtle activates wings to glide under the clouds, noticing the enemy base up ahead. At the enemy base, two guards notice as Myrtle's plane crashes into a nearby mountain)

• Young Myrtle: "Can you be a doll and open that door over there for me?"

[The guard frantically readies his weapon and shoots at Myrtle, but she dodges enough for the blast to hit the door, shot-circuiting it and causing it to open, revealing an elevator.]

• Young Myrtle: "Thanks, hon.

(The guard gulps before getting kicked off the post)

• Young Myrtle: X, I'm in.
• X: (on comm) And only 23 seconds. I owe you lunch, Myrtle.

Young Myrtle: (checks watch) Actually, it was only 22.5. But what's a half a second between gal pals?

[The elevator closes and goes down the base.]

Young Myrtle: "So what's the situation?"

[Cut to X's headquarters, where she has security cameras trained on Myrtle.]

X: "You should have a straight shot to Dr. Dufus's rocket." [Cut back to Myrtle.] "I checked the visuals, and it's all clear."

Young Myrtle: "Are you sure? There's gotta be at least one more henchman.

X: [on comm] "Have I ever steered you wrong?" [The elevator opens, revealing there's several mooks.] "Ooh, my bad."

[The mooks notice Myrtle and charge at her, fists flying. Myrtle ducks the first goon's punch and throws him at the door, only to get punched by the second goon right at the rails. Growling, she uppercuts the second goon and repeatedly punches him in the chest before grabbing him by the collar and throwing him at the door. The two remaining goons charge at her, the third brandishing a staff. He swings it at her, but she dodges several times before punching him in the face. The fourth goon also brandishes a staff, but he barely has time to use it before she also punches him, knocking out several teeth. She then grabs the goon and slams his face on the facial recognition scanner.]

Computer: "FACIAL ACCESS GRANTED."

[Myrtle enters Dufus's headquarters, right on a bridge that slowly whirs with technology as arrows light their way up sequentially to his big rocket. She makes her way across the bridge.]

Dr. Dufus: "Oh, hello, Agent 28. I was wondering when you'd get here." [steps out from his doomsday device] "I must say, I'm flattered they sent the best." [sips coffee]

Young Myrtle: "Don't get too excited. It's gonna be a quick visit!"

[She charges at Dufus, but before she can make it, his biggest mook jumps down and lands on the ground before her. He sweeps back his curly hair, revealing he's armed with a hammer on his left hand. As soon as she sees it, she gasps, but then he swings his hammer hand and knocks her aside.]

Dr. Dufus: "What do you think of my most loyal henchman? Ham Hand. He came to me after his hand was crushed in a wrestling match, so I forged him a hammer hand."

Young Myrtle: "I think his name's confusing." [spits]' '"I expected pork."

[Ham Hand grabs Myrtle and traps her in a cage before sealing the lid.]

Ham Hand: "I thought you'd be tougher than this, Agent 28." [checks his reflection on his hammer] "And not a curl out of place."

Dr. Dufus: "Oh, will you please stop talking about the hair? It's always about the hair!"

[The rocket activates. Myrtle takes out a nail filer gadget and begins sawing her way out of the cage]

Young Myrtle: "So what's the deal with your dumb rocket, anyway?"

Dr. Dufus: "You see those lasers?" [He's referring to the lasers on the top of the rocket, which hum with electricity] "This rocket will take out every communication satellite on Earth. And then I launch my own. Dufus TV, Dufus Phone, Dufus Electric, Dufus Daily News!" [Myrtle continues sawing] "My beautiful wife Schmoofy Doofy and I will own all communication and rule the world!" [spills some coffee before pressing the launch button] "Boop."

[Countdown sequence activates]

Computer Voice: "T MINUS ONE MINUTE UNTIL LAUNCH."

Young Myrtle: "Not today, Doofus. I've got lunch plans."

Dr. Dufus: "it's pronounced 'doo-foo'! It's French!"

[Myrtle finishes sawing and bursts out of the cage]

Ham Hand: "Hey, get back in your cage!"

[He swings his hammer, but Myrtle jumps out of the way, causing him to smash a wire instead. She lands on his head as he tries to shake her off.]

Young Myrtle: "Hold still!"

[Ham Hand gets her off him, but his hair is messed up.]

Ham Hand: "Hey! You messed up Ham Hand's 'do!"

Young Myrtle: "Well, let me fix that for you!"

[She grabs the wires and electrocutes Ham Hand with them, burning him and causing him to pass out.]

Dr. Dufus: "Oh, no, stop it!" [He tries to run from Myrtle, but she grabs him and tries to take his coffee mug] "Give me that! Hey!"

[He bites Myrtle, but she knocks him out with the mug. In one last stand, he charges her, but he slips on his own spilled coffee and trips into his own rocket, which seals him inside.]

Dr. Dufus: "No! I know I just tried to kill you, but get me out of here!"

[The countdown is at 13 seconds, and Myrtle heads to the computer.]

X: [on comm] "You need to shut down the launch!"

Young Myrtle: "Yep, working on it!"

[She presses some keys and shuts down the lasers]

X: [on comm] "You stopped the lasers, not the launch!"

Computer Voice: "THREE, TWO, ONE."

[The rocket launches, taking Dufus with it...]

Dr. Dufus: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

[...and launching into the atmosphere in a twinkle in the sky.]

Young Myrtle: X, how do we get Doofus back down?"

X: [on comm] You won't be seeing him again. That rocket is a one-way ticket into orbit.

Young Myrtle: Well, that's a shame...

The Loud Family Vacation Begins

• Lincoln: [quoting Myrtle] "'...but at least he got a room with a view.'"
• Clyde: [gasps] That was your best Myrtle spy story yet. Ten out of ten on the showmanship.
• Lincoln Loud: I can't wait to have a secret agent for a Gran-Gran. Just think: Jet setting across the world; going on spy missions together; doing drop kicks! (loses his balance and falls off his bed)

• Clyde McBride: Your seriously about to have the coolest grandma ever. (gasps at what he said) Don't tell Nana Gayle I said that.

(Suddenly a whistle goes off)

• Voice: Look alive, Loud Crowd.
• -Lincoln, it's your Pop-Pop!
• Pop Pop: I'm ready to load bags
• Myrtle: Who's getting married?
• Pop Pop and Mrytle: We're getting married!
• Lincoln Loud: Gran-Gran! (hugs Mrytle even though Pop was ready for a hug) Perfect timing. I was just telling everyone about the time you saved the world from Dr. Dufu.
• Myrtle: Oh, Lincoln, that was ages ago. All I can think about right now is the wedding. I'm about to marry the man of my dreams and finally have a family.
• Lincoln Loud: Speaking of the wedding, if any spy buisness goes down this weekend, and you need help, I'm your man. (winks)
• Myrtle: Actually, I do need your help.
• Lincoln Loud: Yeah?
• Myrtle: With a super important mission
• Lincoln Loud: Yeah?
• Myrtle: That only you can do.
• Lincoln Loud: YEAH????
• Myrtle: (pulls out a small with two rings in them) Operation: Wedding Rings! I need you to guard these rings with your life.
• Lincoln Loud: Oh, I though you were going to ask me to go on a real mission.
• Myrtle: Oh honey, this is real. They aren't insured.
• Clyde McBride: I'm gonna head out Lincoln.

(Both of them did their handshake)

• Clyde McBride: Have fun at the wedding! (leaves)
• -See you later, Clyde!
• Lynn Loud Sr.: Let's kick it into gear, kiddos!
• Rita Loud: Butts need to be in Vanzilla in 10 minutes.
• -Relax, we should have plenty of time before the plane leaves.
• -I wouldn't be so sure.
• -We were lucky to get these seats on short notice.
• -And we're lucky were sitting next to each other.
• -Lucky? We took up the entire right side.
• -And some of us are not the best to next to.
• -So, let put it this way, last person out of the house sits next to Lynn Sr.
• -And you know how he gets airsick.

(Everyone looks nervous and rushed all over the house to get ready. Leni runs out the bathroom but slides on some sunscreen and crashes into Lori with Lily sitting on top of her and her stuff. Luna is rocking out; Lynn runs pass Luan; Lisa has a stack of books; Todd is carrying luggage; Lola is stuffing all her stuff into her suitcase but it explodes; and Lana is in pajamas but her overalls are on her head)

• Lana: I can't find anything. (runs into a wall)
• Lucy Loud: Has anyone seen my vacation coffin?
• -Check the attic behind Luan's mannequin collection.

(Lincoln rushes back into his room and unzips his David Steele backpack)

• Lincoln Loud: Now, to pack the essentials. David Steele Fart Spray; David Steele Grappling Hook; David Steele Throwing Stars. (suddenly poked by one) Those are sharp. (zips up his backpack) Hmmm. I feel like I'm forgetting something important. (looks behind him) Of course, my David Steele Spy Watch.

(Suddenly Charles, Lincoln's dog grabs the watch and runs off with it)

• Lincoln Loud: Charles!
• Tigger: After that dog!

(Lincoln runs passes Lola who is throwing petals everywhere)

• Lola Loud: Lincoln! I'm flower-girling here!
• Lincoln Loud: Drop it! We don't have time to play! (runs into Lynn Jr. holding a football)
• Lynn Loud: Hey, watch it, Stinkin!
• -He's heading downstairs!
• Lincoln Loud: Get back here!
• Lynn Loud: Now where we're we? 3, 23, hut, hut, hut! (throws footballs at Lori but she dodges them and goes into the wall or through the door to the bathroom)
• Lori Loud: Lynn, don't throw so hard!
• Lynn Loud: You wanna catch Mrytle's flowers or not?
• Lori Loud: It's called a bouquet and duh.
• -What are you two doing?
• Lori Loud: Isn't it obvious? Getting ready for the bouquet toss. Whoever catches it totes get married next. (sighs) Can you imagine Bobby and I's wedding? (slammed by a football)
• -Somehow I can.
• -And if Lynn keep this up, it's going to be in the hospital.
• Lynn Loud Sr.: (yelling from downstairs) LJ, where's your suitcase?
• Lynn Loud: Don't need one. Yeah, I'm wearing all the underwear I'm taking.
• Lynn Loud Sr.: (nervous chuckle) That's...clever. Wow.
• Lynn Loud: Heads up, Pops! Here's Lily's bag! (throws it)

(Lynn Sr. tries to run but it crushed him through the door as Mr. Grouse slides in)

• Mr Grouse: Nice catch, Loud. Hello, I'm here to watch your dang house!
• Lisa: Mr. Grouse, as our acting groundskeeper, I need you to keep a watchful eye on this. (pulls out a remote)
• Mr. Grouse: What? Is that a TV remote?
• Lisa: Don't make me laugh.

(Outside, Lisa pushes the button revealing a giant laser underneath the her bunker)

• -Uh, Lisa, what is that?
• Lisa: My nuclear fusion laser. My rivals have been eyeing it for months. Guard it with your life and by no means press any--
• Mr. Grouse: (pressing buttons on the panel) How do I get the news on here?

(The laser blasted its ray and a satellite crashed in the yard)

• Lisa: You own an apology to the county of Finlandastan
• Lincoln: Get back here with my watch, Charles! (tackles him and takes it from his mouth) This is a collectable!

(The laser goes off again, but the satellite lands on Grouse's roof)

• Mr. Grouse: MY HOUSE!!!!
• Lisa Loud: Well, look at the bright side. Now you have satellite TV.
• Mr. Grouse: (disappointed groans)
• Lincoln Loud: All packed,
• Pop Pop: You got our wedding rings in there, right, kiddo?
• Lincoln Loud: The wedding rings? (searches his pocket) Right! Uh, they must be in my room. Be right back!
• Rita Loud: Alright, everyone, time to go!

(Everyone rushes downstairs except for Lincoln, ???????)

• Todd: Initiating vacation mode.
• Rita Loud: Lincoln, come on! We're gonna be late.
• -We're coming!
• Lincoln Loud: I got the rings!
• -Ok, now are we sure we got everything?
• Lincoln Loud: Definitely sure.
• -Well let's hope so.
• -Yep. From here on out, nothing is gonna stop us from this wedding.
• -Nothing smooth sailing from here!

(Suddenly Lincoln bumps into Lucy's vacation coffin as it falls down the stairs sticking Myrtle inside sliding away on a skateboard)

• Pop-Pop: (chases after Mrtyle) Myrtle! I'm coming baby!
• -Ok, smooth sailing starting, now.

(The title and intro for Pooh's Adventure of No Time to Spy: A Loud House Movie appears)

[Male Lead]

There's never a moment for action

For a spy that is prone to distraction

And the clock is a lie

As you watch all the hours fly by

There's just no time to spy

No time to spy

No time to laugh, love, or cry

There's just no time...

To spy!

Plane Ride

(On a plane, our heroes and Louds took up the entire right side, running amok)

• Fifi: Adorable kids. Are all of them yours? Different mothers, I assume. I'm Fifi.
• Lynn Loud Sr.: [nervously] Oh, hi. I'm Lynn. (feels shaking) Sorry, I get a little plane sick. (grabs barf bag and hurls)
• Fifi: (chuckles nervously) Oh.

(Ahead of them, Luna is playing ukulele as Luan is seemingly asleep... yet Mr. Coconuts is seemingly awake, reading a puppet magazine before hearing Luna's playing and creepily glaring at her, causing Luna to yelp. Lynn is sitting alone, laughing at a video she's watching and constantly kicking the seat in front of her... )

• -Hey, Lynn, do you mind?
• -Yeah, you been doing that for a hour!
• Rita Loud: Lily, that's not a diving board. (grabs Lily before the tray broken then opens the overhead bin above her revealing Lucy, ????????) How's it going, sweetie?
• Lucy Loud: Never better. (closes the luggage compartment)
• -Speak for yourself.

(Lana is licking her window while Lola is practicing with her petals)

• -Lana, what are you doing?
• Lana Loud: I can taste other people's breath. (resumes licking the window)
• -Well, what does it taste like?
• Lana Loud: Mostly steak and fish!

(Lola groans in disgust and leaves her seat, continuing to throw the flower petals. She walks past Lisa, who is mixing a chemical before her beaker explodes, covering her and Todd in a green substance.)

• Todd: OW. (heads falls off)
• -Told you it was a bad idea to do this on the plane.
• Lynn Loud : Yo, Lori, heads up! (throws a football right at Lori, causing Lori to spill her drink on her shirt)
• Lori Loud: Lynn! (gets up and storms off) I said not on the plane!
• Leni Loud : (notices the stain on the shirt) Ooh, tie-dye.
• Albert: Oh, how about a couple's massage on the beach, huh? (hears his stomach rumble) Oh, never eat the airplane sashimi. Oh, I'll be right back. (heads to the restroom)
• Myrtle: (sees Lincoln smiling at her) Is there something in your eye, hon?
• Lincoln Loud: No. I just wanted to let you know-- (climbs over the seat, but slips and falls) I've located the exits in case an evil villain is hiding in the cargo hold waiting to take us captive.
• Myrtle: Oh, honey, there's no bad guys on this plane, and trust me, if there were, you don't wanna meet them. It's not all fun and games like your picture book Derek Stump.
• Lincoln Loud: David Steele.
• Myrtle: There are real consequences to spy life. Dangerous ones. But you're just a kid, and I don't expect you to get it. (resumes reading, but sees Lincoln sighing with disappointment until she gets an idea) Hey, did that Stump fella ever throw a villain off Mount Everest while deliriously low on oxygen? 'Cause I did.
• Lincoln Loud: Whoa, really?
• Myrtle: So there I was in hand-to-hand combat at the highest peak and slowly losing consciousness. The odds of me making it out alive were slim to none.

(Albert comes back, only to be disappointed when he sees Myrtle regaling Lincoln with spy stories. He heads over to sit next to Lynn Sr.)

• Albert: Whoops, coming through. (sits in Lincoln's seat)
• Lynn Sr.: Hey, what's wrong, Al?
• Albert: Well, sometimes, hearing about Myrtle's past makes me worry. Maybe I'm not exciting enough for her. Maybe I'm a little small potatoes, you know?
• Lynn Sr.: Al, that's ridiculous. You're not a small potato.
• -Yeah, I mean, who was a military veteran?
• -Who taught your daughter to fly a plane?
• -Who accepted a proposal by bungee jumping off a cliff?
• Lynn Loud Sr: That's right. And who just won Sunset Canyon's shuffleboard showdown?
• Albert: Seymour.
• Lynn Sr.: Oh, yeah. That guy's incredible.
• Albert: (sighs)
• -The point is that Myrtle sees something in you.
• -Spy life or no spy life, she loves you.
• -And you're just one day away to begin the most exciting day of your life.
• -Having Myrtle part of this family.
• Myrtle: (holding a napkin) And that's why I love free napkins. Never know when they'll save your life. Well, enough about that. Let's go over the wedding playlist.
• Lincoln: (scanning the plane's passengers) Psst. Gran-Gran, I'm pretty sure that flight attendant is listening to us.
• Myrtle: Sweetie, you're being silly.
• Lincoln: I bet she's undercover, gathering intel on us. (realizes) Oh no, I ate the peanuts! There's probably a tracking device in my stomach! (tries to Heimlich it out)
• Myrtle: (stops him) I really, really don't think so. Lincoln, you already have a mission. You still got those rings?
• Lincoln: Don't worry. They're safe inside the box. I'm going back to my seat to read comics. (notices the flight attendant, who notices him. He screams and sprints to the bathroom, which he almost bumps into Lori)
• Lynn: Lori, go long! Hut, hut, hut!"(throws the football again, this time knocking Lori's drink out of her hands and spilling it on Fifi's face)
• Fifi: Cold, cold! Oh, is that citrus?! (frantically rubs her eyes, which only get worse) Oh, it's a deep burn! (leaves)
• Lynn: Sorry about that. Lori doesn't know how to catch.
• Lori: Lynn!
• -Could you at least wait till after we land?
• Lola: Way to make enemies already.
• Lynn: Relax. We'll never see her again.

Thunderball Resort

(The scene changes to our heroes taking a bus, with Fifi (whose eyes are still swollen) crammed between Lynn and Lola.)

• -So, you were saying?
• Lynn: (awkwardly to Fifi) So, we're staying at the same place. Tight.
• -(facepalms)

[The bus makes its way out of the airport and into a tropical town. As parrots (who look an awful lot like Sergio) roost on lines filled with lanterns, a man sunbathes on the beach, with a massive suntan save for a hand-shaped mark on his belly. The Louds admire the sights and sounds of the town, with Lincoln taking pictures. The bus drives past a dance party and eventually makes it to the Thunderball Resort. The Louds enter the resort's foyer and are impressed.]

Louds: "Ooh."

[They head to the receptionist's desk and are startled when the owner, who happens to resemble Flip in voice and looks, suddenly pops up, starting Lincoln.]

Flop: [holding a tray of warm towels] "Welcome to the Thunderball Resort! Can I get ya a hot towel?"

Lynn: [grabs a towel] "Lori, think fast!" [throws it]

[Since Lori is texting on her phone, the towel hits her in the face.]

Lori: [removes it] "Stop it, Lynn!"

[Lynn laughs at the sight]

Flop: "Ahem. That'll be twenty big ones for the hot towel."

[He has his hand outstretched for the money and smiles as the sound of a cash register dings.]

Lynn: "Yo, Mom, this sounds like a you problem."

Rita: [gets a $20 bill from her wallet] "You know, you bear a striking resemblance to someone. Do you know a Flip Phillipini?"

Flop: "I sure do." [takes the banknote] "I'm Flop Phillipini." [licks the dollar bill to see if it's legitimate] "Flip's my cousin."

[He takes out a picture of himself and Flip. Everyone stares in shock.]

Rita: "Huh. What are the chances?"

Lisa: "One in one billion, five--"

Lola: [shoves the hot towel down Lisa's throat] "Charge it to the room, Flop." [leaves]

[Lisa blows a raspberry through the towel.]

Flop: "I have you all checked in." [snaps fingers, summoning his pet crab] "Ceviche, can I get these people some keys, please?"

[Ceviche gets out some room keys]

Rita: "Thank you, Ceviche." [takes the keys] "OK, girls, let's head to the pool and plan the bachelorette party for tonight." [leaves with the sisters]

Sisters: "Yeah!"

Todd: [joins them] "DON'T FORGET ABOUT TODD, Y'ALL."

Lynn Sr.: "I'm gonna go meet with the caterer and go over the menu." [leaves]

Albert: "And I was planning on taking my Myrtle buns on a surprise fishing trip. Surprise!"

Myrtle: "Oh, Al. How romantic."

Lincoln: "Ooh, you guys are going on a boat?" [He's wearing a fishing hat and holding a rod] "That sounds awesome."

Albert: [reluctant] "Oh, did you want to come, Lincoln?"

Lincoln: "I don't have anything else to do. I'll go grab my spy suit." [leaves]

Myrtle: "Lincoln, you don't need it."

Lincoln: "Don't you kids go anywhere without me."

[Suddenly he bumps into a sinister-looking man]

Mohawk Man: "Hey, watch it, kid. You wouldn't want to bump into the wrong guy on this island." [leaves while talking on a walkie-talkie, leaving Lincoln suspicious] "Yeah, yeah, I got it. The truck's all loaded for, uh, the fishing trip." [leaves]

Lincoln: [suspicious] "Hmm..."

Boat Attack

[Later, Albert is going fishing on a rented boat. Myrtle grabs two drinks in coconut cups and walks over to Albert past a radio, which is playing "Play the Game" by Werner Tautz.]

♫ Lonely... ♫

Albert: [notices the drinks] "Oh, all right, Myrtle dove. Time to catch us some dinner."

[As Albert casts his fishing rod into the seas, Lincoln grabs his spy binoculars and scans the islands for any sign of activity.]

Lincoln: [speaks into recorder] "No sign of Mohawk Man, but my spy sense is at a level five tingle."

Myrtle: "Lincoln, honey, let the spy stuff go. Come have a juice spritzer." [offers a drink]

Lincoln: "Be right there." [He continues to scan with his binoculars, only to notice Mo exchanging money to some uniformed men for boxes with a fish label on them.] "Whoa, there he is. My spy sense was right. There's something going on." [He sees the uniformed men loading the boxes on a truck as a bald man monitors.] "I wonder what's in those crates. Wait." [pulls out his camera] "My David Steele waterproof camera." [zooms in on the crates with the camera, extending the lens, and notices a label, but it's blurry] "What is that name? Rub...in..."

[He accidentally activates the flash and yelps as it takes pictures. The camera then extends the lens and hits him in the process. When he looks through it again, Mo is right in his vision, glaring at him.]

Lincoln: [terrified] "Not good."

[Mo whistles and sends his goons after Lincoln on speeder water bikes.]

Lincoln: "Very not good." [runs for safety]

[Albert and Myrtle are still fishing]

Albert: "You know, in my navy days, I used to fish with a spear."

Myrtle: "Oh, Al. That's so rugged." [laughs]

Lincoln: "Gran-Gran, can I talk to you?" [drags Myrtle away]

[Albert's fishing rod gets caught on something]

Albert: "Oh! I got a big one on the line!" [tries to reel it in] "Lincoln, get your camera!"

[Unknown to him, his hook is actually caught on a rock, and two fish are watching in curiosity.]

Lincoln: "OK, Pop-Pop. Will do." [whispers] "So I just saw these bad guys exchanging money for something. I don't know what, but they saw me take a picture, and now they're--"

Myrtle: "Lincoln, please. There are no bad guys around here." [Suddenly Mo's goons show up and climb on top of the boat] "Dang it."

[The goon wearing cargo shorts, named Jerry, steps forward.]

Jerry: "Give us the little boy's camera, and no one gets hurt, grandma." [puts his right fist in his left palm]

Myrtle: "Listen, Cargo Shorts, I go by Gran-Gran."

Jerry: "Whatever. Boys!" [snaps his fingers]

[The other two goons sprint at Myrtle, who charges right at them.]

Lincoln: "Oh, man! A real life spy fight!"

["Play the Game" resumes playing as Myrtle slides underneath the legs of the mustached goon and grabs a bucket of chum.]

Myrtle: "Take this, chum bucket!" [swings the bucket by the rope]

Mustached Goon: "Huh?"

[He quickly ducks as the chum bucket zooms past him and hits the clean-shaven goon, who slides on the deck.]

Lincoln: "Whoa!" [jumps over the goon and accidentally stomps him on the face and chest] "Sorry!" [runs away]

[The mustached goon growls and charges at Myrtle, who throws the chum bucket. He knocks it aside and throws some punches at her, but she dodges, twists his arm, spins him around, grabs his left arm, and kicks him repeatedly in the chest. Lincoln tries to sneak away from the fight, only to bump into the cargo shorts goon.]

Jerry: "All right, kid, hand it over."

[Lincoln can only scream as he runs away, causing the cargo shorts goon to give chase. Meanwhile, Myrtle repeatedly slaps the mustached goon in the face before kicking him down, but the clean-shaven goon tackles her. The cargo shorts goon continues to chase Lincoln around the boat past an oblivious Albert, who is still trying to reel in the rock.]

Albert: [mistaking Lincoln's screams for excitement] "I know! I'm excited, too! Get that camera!"

Jerry: [catches Lincoln] "Gotcha!"

Myrtle: [sees her soon-to-be step-grandson in danger] "That's it!"

[She pulls the nose of the clean-shaven goon and snaps it back, knocking him out, before grabbing the buoys, tying him up in them, and throwing him overboard.]

Clean-Shaven Goon: "I should've called in sick today!"

[She then growls at the mustached goon, who quickly panics and hops back in his speeder before driving off. When she turns back, she sees the cargo shorts goon struggling to knock Lincoln off his back.]

Jerry: "Get off!" [knocks Lincoln off towards the steering wheel]

Myrtle: [gasps] "Lincoln!"

Jerry: [laughs] "Got it!" [holds the camera]

[Myrtle grabs a fishing rod and casts the rod. It latches onto his shorts and she pulls him towards her, only to rip off his shorts.]

Myrtle: "Oh, not what I meant to do."

[Now stripped down to his heart boxer shorts, the goon grabs an oar and charges.]

Albert: [still trying to reel in the rock] "That's right, fish. Come to Pop-Pop."

[By now, an entire school of fish is watching his attempts to reel in the rock.]

Myrtle: "Lincoln, hit the gas now!"

[Lincoln smirks and hits the gas with his left foot, causing the boat to zoom off. Albert yelps as he's dragged off, and the rock is reeled out. The goon wobbles from the burst of motion, and Myrtle slides near the wheel and deactivates the engine. As the boat instantly stops, Albert yanks the rock out from the seas, and it flies in front of the sun, blinding the goon, before hitting him in the face and sending him and Lincoln's camera under the seas. With the goons taken care of, Myrtle looks back at Lincoln, who has his mouth and eyes open wide in astonishment. She waves her hand in front of him, but he's gone near-catatonic from sheer hype. Meanwhile, Albert is checking his rod, disappointed he's seemingly caught nothing.]

Albert: "Aw, cheap lures."

Myrtle: "Oh, sorry, Al." [drags the catatonic Lincoln over] "Lincoln needs aloe vera ASAP. He's in sun shock."

Albert: "OK, let's get my best man back to the resort."

[He heads to the steering wheel as Myrtle looks at Lincoln in concern.]

[Albert and Myrtle have returned the boat to the boat rental service.]

Albert: [carrying Lincoln] "Oh, don't worry, Myrtle-dove. I'm gonna make up for not catching anything. Tonight, you'll have the best table at the best restaurant." [puts Lincoln down and leaves]

Myrtle: "Can't wait. Um, I'll get some cold towels for Linc."

[She grabs Lincoln and pulls him into a nearby tent, snapping him out of his stunned state.]

Lincoln: "Whoa!"

Myrtle: "Lincoln, now listen to me."

Lincoln: "I know what you're gonna say. It's too bad Cargo Shorts fell in the ocean with my camera, or we'd have some clues."

Myrtle: What? No! We don't need clues. We are leaving immediately.

[She takes out her phone and calls X, who is still at her old base.]

X: [picks up] "Myrtle. Long time no talk. What's it been, thirty years?"

Myrtle: "Sorry, X. No time to catch up. Our fishing boat was just attacked after my fiancé's grandson..." [Lincoln proudly points at himself] "...witnessed a shady deal going down. I'm sending you our coordinates so you can have an agent check into it." [does so]

X: "Myrtle, can you do it? You're right there."

Lincoln: [eagerly] "Yes, we accept the mission!"

Myrtle: "No, we do not accept! Lincoln, zip it! X, I retired, and I have a family now. I'm about to get married."

[At X's base, she has photos of Myrtle and Albert]

X: "I know. And an invite would have been classy, but let's table that."

Myrtle: "I'm sorry, but I have to get us off this island on the first flight tomorrow." [Lincoln looks down in disappointment] "I'll call you when we're safe." [hangs up]

Lincoln: "But Gran-Gran, think about it. This is our chance to be heroes! You and me, working together, the ultimate spy duo. Let's call her back!"

Myrtle: "Lincoln, just stop it. You don't understand what it means to be a real hero. It's not about ticking time bombs, high-tech gadgets, and invisible laser shields."

Lincoln: [excited] "They make invisible laser shields?!"

Myrtle: [puts a hand on his shoulder] "Being a hero is about sacrifice. It's making a tough choice even if you don't like it. And right now, that means getting your family to safety."

[Suddenly Flop shows up with a tray of drinks]

Flop: "Hey, party of--"

[Myrtle instinctively whacks him in the face with her handbag, knocking him out.]

Myrtle: "Oops. Old habits die hard. I better check on Flop." [leaves]

[Lincoln remains disappointed until he realizes Myrtle as left her handbag and phone behind and gets an idea.]

Lincoln: "I know what a hero is." [takes her phone] "And they don't turn down missions." [texts X] "Hey, X." [adds winking emoticon] "Myrtle here. Totes changed my mind about the mission. LOL. We're on it. Strong arm emoji, high-five emoji, party emoji, and..." [sends text]

[Suddenly Myrtle comes back, causing Lincoln to flinch and hide her phone.]

Myrtle: "Stopped the bleeding, but he'll definitely need to ice that."

Lincoln: [acting] "I'm sorry, Gran-Gran. You were right about everything. I'll go pack my stuff now."

Myrtle: "Good. I knew I could count on you. I'll go talk to Pop-Pop." [grabs her handbag] "And Lincoln..." [Lincoln flinches, thinking she's noticed her phone is missing] "I'm proud of you for handling this so well." [leaves]

[Lincoln sighs in relief. Myrtle's phone goes off and he notices X has sent a reply]

X's Text: CONFIRMED.✋☠️

Lincoln: "Yes!"

[He runs out of the tent and prepares to head back to the hotel, when...]

Fifi: "Yoo-hoo! White-haired boy!" [Lincoln stops to see Fifi heading over in his direction] "Oh, I was just looking for sea glass on the beach for my dog jewelry business." [gives him a business card for her "Kennel of Pucci: Haute Pawture" business] "I make collars, harnesses, cuff-links, but I call them ruff-links." [laughs]

Lincoln: "Sorry, I don't have any cash."

Fifi: "Oh, you're a riot, a riot! I'm not selling ya. I just found your camera." [takes out his camera] "It washed up on shore." [Lincoln gleefully takes his camera] "I also found cargo shorts." [takes out the cargo shorts goon's shorts] "I think I'm gonna make them into curtains." [laughs] "But with pockets. Neat, huh?"

Lincoln: "Thank you, thank you. I can't believe you found it."

Fifi: "Oh, it's so cute how you wrote 'Property of Lincoln Loud, Super Spy'. You know, I used to play spy when I was eight, too."

Lincoln: "Actually, I'm twelve, but thanks again." [leaves]

Fifi: "Just give me a call for all your ruff-link--"

[She accidentally falls into a grave dug in the sands. There's already three of them, and Lucy pops out of one of them before peeking over the grave Fifi has fallen into.]

Lucy: "Apologies, Fifi." [takes out a shovel] "I'm always practicing my grave digging technique."

Fifi: [heavily injured from the fall] "No worries. I'm OK. Let me just try to stand up." [tries to stand up, but her bones crack from the effort] "Oh. Nope. Not gonna stand up."

[Lucy winces and ducks out of sight.]

[Exterior shot of the Thunderball Resort. As a seagull flies overhead, Lincoln sneaks back into his room, checks if the coast is clear, and gets on his bed before taking out his phone.]

Lincoln: "Come on, pick up, pick up."

[Meanwhile, on an evening at Royal Woods, Clyde is riding his bicycle alongside his dads when his phone rings.]

Clyde: [picks up] "Hey, Lincoln. How's the wedding prep?"

[Split-screen between Lincoln and Clyde.]

Lincoln: "Clyde, I'm in the middle of a spy operation and I need your help."

Clyde: "Roger that. I'll head to HQ." [brakes] "Sorry, dads, I've got some important spy business to attend to."

[He starts pedaling and bikes off, leaving his dads coughing in his dust.]

Harold: "Just stay hydrated!"

[Clyde heads down a lengthy flight of stairs before continuing to bike. A couple is walking their dachshund when Clyde zooms past them, leaving them tied up in the dog's leash as the dachshund angrily barks at Clyde. He swerves past traffic and heads down a hill. Another man has finished carving a plank of wood for his fence when Clyde uses the wood as a ramp, launching himself in front of the sun before landing and reaching his house. He gets off his bike before running face-first into his door. He then opens the door while covering his face in pain.]

Clyde: "Ow." [closes the door and stomps on his welcome mat] "Whew." [throws his helmet before running to his room, hopping on his swivel chair, and logging into his computer] "Agent Loud, I'm in."

[Cut back to Lincoln's hotel room]

Lincoln: "Clyde, our boat was attacked after I snapped this photo." [sends it over to Clyde] "It's in pretty bad shape, but there might be a clue in there." [Clyde downloads the file] "Can you enhance it? What does the crate say?"

[Clyde enhances the photo, revealing the boxes bear the name of a certain showrunner...]

Lincoln and Clyde: "Rubiner's?"

Clyde: "Give me one second." [gets on Gooblie and searches the name up] "All right. Let's see." [gets some results pointing to Rubiner's Fishmongers] "Looks like there's a restaurant on the island called Rubiner's Fishmongers. I'll send you a pin." [does so]

Lincoln: "Perfect. I'll start there."

Clyde: "Awesome. Your first real spy mission with Myrtle."

Lincoln: "Uh, Gran-Gran's busy prepping for the wedding, so I'm gonna take on this mission solo."

Clyde: "Well, be careful. And remember to stay hydrated."

[Lincoln hangs up, grabs his David Steele backpack, and dons his spy suit. Later, he throws his grappling hook over the balcony of his hotel room, checks if the coast is clear, and slides down the rope wearing a helmet. Meanwhile, Albert is taking a shower and scatting a melody when Myrtle comes over.]

Myrtle: "Al, whenever you're done in there, we need to talk."

Albert: "Okie-dokie. You're gonna love this restaurant, sweetie." [Myrtle heads to the balcony in worry] "But I already asked about the napkins, and they're cloth, so you can't take them."

[Myrtle spots Lincoln sliding down his grappling hook and struggling to get off before trying to sneak out of the area.]

Myrtle: [acting] "Yeah, about that, I don't think I'll be making dinner. I'm just so exhausted from fishing. I think I'm gonna lie down." [angrily] "His little spy butt is in so much trouble." [to Albert] "Maybe Lynn Sr. will have dinner with you."

[Just then someone knocks on the door, and Myrtle goes to answer while taking a defensive stance.]

Albert: "Well, I'm not paying for Lynn's twelve appetizers.

Myrtle: [opens the door] "YAH!"

[She pauses when she sees it's a young bellhop named Owen, who bears a suspicious resemblance to her and has brought a gift basket with him. He clears his throat and begins reading from a card.]

Owen: "We here at Thunderball Resort would like to thank you for staying with us on your big day." [Myrtle gets an idea] "Please accept this gift basket as a token of--"

Myrtle: [grabs Owen] "How'd you like to make the best tip of your life?" [hands over several banknotes]

[Owen sheepishly grins and nods. Myrtle then grabs a broom and applies lipstick and perfume spray on him. When the smoke clears, he's been transformed into a copy of Myrtle, complete with her sunglasses and dress, a mop for a wig (with the handle still on), earrings, cups for fake breasts, and a pearl bracelet. Myrtle then grabs Owen and puts him in bed.]

Myrtle: "Just pretend to be me taking a nap, and I'll be back in 20 minutes. If anyone asks, your name is Myrtle."

[She jumps out of her balcony, slides down a pole, strikes a three-point landing, spots Lincoln sneaking away, and immediately gives chase. Back inside the room, Albert comes out of the shower and spots Owen in disguise.]

Albert: [thinking it's her] "Rest up, honey. You wouldn't want to miss out on our cuddle under the stars." [Owen begins fake-snoring, and Albert is fooled before tucking Owen in bed and leaving.] "See you soon, my little Myrtle-dove." [leaves]

Owen: [gets up] "OK. Well, I guess that wasn't too bad."

[Unfortunately, he's dead wrong, because the Loud sisters and their mother show up.]

Louds: "BACHELORETTE PARTY!!"

[Owen shrieks and collapses in bed.]

Rita: "Mom--can I call you Mom?--why are you in bed? Aren't you excited for your bachelorette party?"

Luna: "Let's rock, Gran-Gran!"

Lana: "We have a limo parked out front."

Owen: [imitating Myrtle] "Uh... I'm Myrtle?" [laughs sheepishly]

[Cut to Owen's perspective]

Lucy: "I'd say that's a yes."

[The Louds cheer as they reach out to Owen, leading to a fade to black.]

Restaurant Ambush

[Rubiner's. A seagull lands on the road next to the restaurant's sign before flying away due to an incoming man driving there on his electric moped. He parks next to a row of mopeds, takes off his helmet, and walks towards the front door. Lincoln is revealed to have been hiding inside a nearby bush.]

Receptionist: [to the man] "Welcome to Rubiner's, home of the calamari safari." [goes back to her phone]

[As the man enters, Lincoln rolls out of the bush and awkwardly lands on the receptionist's desk.]

Lincoln: [clears throat] "Steele. David Steele. Party of one."

Receptionist: [stops him] "Um, this is a restaurant, not a daycare. Sorry, kid." [Lincoln notices she's on a social media app and liking a photo of herself with a man.] "Oh, Juan..."

Lincoln: [gets an idea] "Fine. I guess I'll take my patronage elsewhere."

[As the receptionist rolls her eyes and resumes scrolling, Lincoln goes off-screen and the sound of tools whirring can be heard as pieces of the bush fly. Lincoln then shows up inside a piece of the bush, turned into a bouquet, and hands her a fake note.]

Lincoln: [disguise voice] "Uh, I got a delivery here from Juan."

[The note reads "2 LADY ♥ JUAN". The receptionist happily grabs the bouquet, exposing Lincoln, while not noticing him or the fact that the note doesn't address her by her actual name.]

Receptionist: [laughs] "Those must be for me. Next thing you know, he's gonna propose, but I'm too young for that, so I'm gonna say no, and then we'll wait a year, and then I'll ask him again to propose." [sniffs while burying it in her face] "Juan..."

[She removes the bush from her face, unknowingly leaving buts of it stuck in her face and clothes. While she's distracted, Lincoln takes the opportunity to sneak inside. He adjusts his suit and sees guests dining.]

Male Customer: [to his date] "Look, my sister doesn't hate you. That's just the way her face looks."

[Lincoln squeezes himself between the customers at the bar]

Lincoln: [clears throat] "One Flippee, not shaken or stirred, please." [The burly bartender shows up, and Lincoln is intimidated] "Uh..." [gulps]

Randall: [menacingly] "We don't serve Flippees here..." [cheerfully] "But we serve Floppees~!"

Male Customer: [to Lincoln] "You're in for a treat."

[The bartender starts blasting disco lights as he grabs the bottle containing the Floppee ingredients and starts shaking it and rolling it on his muscles.]

Randall: "Shake it up! Make that Floppee! Make that Floppee! Make that Floppee! Yee!"

[He starts shaking it between his teeth like a dog. Lincoln can only stare dumbfounded as the other bar guests laugh and clap.]

Fifi: "Yoo-hoo! Lincoln, over here!" [Lincoln turns behind him and sees Fifi with a massive seafood plate] "It's me, Fifi! I ordered the calamari safari and this thing is huge! Come join me before the clams get hot!"

Lincoln: "OK, shh."

[He leaves his seat, which is spinning, right as the bartender finishes the Floppee and puts a straw in it before lighting sticks and showing a "YOU JUST ORDERED A FLOPPEE" banner]

Randall: "Ta-da!" [realizes Lincoln's gone] "Huh?" [sees Lincoln's seat stop spinning] "Ugh, you did it again, Randall. You always push him away."

[A party horn sounds, blasting confetti on Randall.]

[The bachelorette party limo cruises down the streets.]

Sisters: "Go Myrtle! Go Myrtle! Go Myrtle!"

[Owen is in the seat of honor, his face hidden with a white sheet and his eyes covered with a red blindfold. Leni removes the items and puts a lei on him.]

Leni: "Your bachelorette party would not be complete without some funky accessories."

[She puts a crown on Owen and shows him a mirror to view himself.]

Owen: "Oh." [laughs]

Luan: "And some games. First up, how well do you know Pop-Pop?" [pulls out a deck of cards]

[Leni throws the mirror away and places a "HOT SEAT" sign over Owen, who gulps as he begins sweating.]

Luan: "OK, first question: What's Pop-Pop's favorite steamed vegetable?"

Owen: "Uh, I'm Myrtle."

[Everyone is confused]

Luan: "Ooh, so close. It's carrots."

[Suddenly the limo's tires screech, throwing all the standing Louds on the floor.]

Todd: "OW."

Lola: [banging on the divider] "This guy is so not getting a tip!"

[The divider opens, revealing the driver is Flop]

Flop: [turns to the Louds] "Ah, these brakes are a doozy. Everybody all right back here?"

Lori: "Flop? You're our driver?"

[Because Flop's not paying attention to the road, he's running over objects off the road, and citizens and tourists are getting out of the way.]

Flop: "Eh, the name's Louie, chiefs." [shows his nametag] "Louie's Limo and Lemonade. Anybody want some?" [holds up a platter of lemonade as Ceviche shows up] "I juice the lemons with my tire jack."

[Lori and Lynn gag.]

Lisa: [groans] "Cut from the same cloth as our Flip."

Lynn: "Hard pass on the jacked lemonade."

Luna: "Yo, Louie, you know any karaoke places? I think it's time to sing to the bride-to-be."

[Lily and Lola approve of the idea.]

Flop: "Oh, you betcha. And right!"

[He jerks the steering wheel to the right, throwing all the passengers around as he drives to the karaoke place.]

[Meanwhile, at Rubiner's...]

Fifi: "Car candles is my other business. They're great for road trips and legal in three states. I'm famous for my fragrances." [Lincoln, feigning interest, grabs the menu and pretends to peruse the contents] "Wet shower, yogurt in a bowl, old pillows, and of course, tar."

[Concealed by the menu, Lincoln dons headphones and takes out a David Steele megaphone to eavesdrop on the guests. He can hear guests eating their food, with a party of three aggressively eating their caviar. A man present among the party takes a break from chewing his food to put a shrimp in his mouth...]

Shrimp: "Save me..."

[...and proceeding to chew it.]

Lincoln: [disgusted by that brief burst of dark comedy] "Ugh."

[He turns his megaphone to his left. A man is perusing the menu as his dog farts, and Lincoln briefly giggles before continuing to scan.]

Woman: "So, my cousin's uncle's brother's great-great-aunt, twice removed..."

[Lincoln spots the bald man from earlier next to the kitchen door as another goon arrives.]

Curly Goon: "Oh, man, sorry I'm late. Jerry wouldn't stop talking about his cargo shorts."

Lincoln: [recognizing the man] "Huh?"

[He cranks up the audio on his megaphone to listen more closely.]

Bald Goon: "Ugh. Jerry and his pockets."

[The two men leave through a door.]

Fifi: [still yacking about her business] "...but my funky foot fungus fragrance, that was my best-seller."

Lincoln: [closes menu] "Excuse me, Fifi, I have some important business to attend to."

[He slips away from his seat and dramatically starts snooping around, but Fifi notices, and...]

Fifi: [loudly] "Oh, are you on a top-secret spy mission?!" [laughs] "Have fun!" [Lincoln cringes at how much she's blowing his cover. She quickly realizes what she's doing] "Uh, I mean..." [whispers] "Have fun."

[Lincoln facepalms and goes on his way.]

[Kenny's Kara-OK]

♫ You say you want to ♫

♫ Learn how to robot... ♫

[Inside, Todd is on-stage singing.]

Todd:

♫ YOU GO RA-AH-OH ♫

♫ RAH-AH-OH-ROBOT ♫

[knocks over the mic stand]

♫ RAH-AH-OH ♫

♫ RAH-AH-OH-ROBOT ♫

[The Louds are at a table, and while some of them are annoyed at Todd's singing, others aren't.]

Leni: "Yay!" [laughs and claps]

Lisa: [hurries on stage] "All right, Todd, you're cut off. Five songs is enough." [wheels him off-stage]

Todd: "I CAN STOP WHENEVER I WANT."

[Flop, now going under the alias of Kenny, goes on stage]

Flop: "We've got a bachelorette party in the house tonight. Let's bring the bride-to-be up on stage for a special performance!"

[A spotlight shines on Owen]

Owen: [gulps] "Oh, no, no, no. That's OK. Uh, rain check for Myrtle."

[The mop tilts to his left slightly, and he adjusts it as he chuckles nervously.]

Luna: [grabs him] "Come on!" [drags him on stage] "This is your chance to shine!"

["Ooh, Girl" by Boyz Will Be Boyz is cued up on the karaoke machine. Flop hands Owen a microphone, which gives off feedback. Owen is frozen and sweating with stage fright. Everyone except the Louds can only stare at Owen awkwardly, and it's so silent someone can be heard coughing. "Ooh, Girl" begins playing, and Owen looks at the teleprompter, gulps, and begins singing horribly off-key.]

Owen:

♫ Ooh, girl ♫

♫ If I could, ooh, girl ♫

♫ I give you the, ooh, girl ♫

[knocks over the stand]

♫ World, girl ♫

♫ Give you the ♫

[chuckles]

♫ Girl, boy world ♫

[Owen's singing is so bad, everyone is cringing, and some of them leave the bar in embarrassment.]

♫ And you ♫

♫ You could be my girl ♫

[Luna gets an idea and joins Owen on stage, giving him enough confidence to improve his singing.]

Luna:

♫ And I could be your boy, girl ♫

Luna and Owen:

♫ Girl, boy ♫

♫ Ooh, girl ♫

♫ Boy, girl ♫

[Seeing "Myrtle's" singing improve, the rest of the Louds cheer on the performance and eventually rush on stage to join in on the song.]

Louds:

♫ Ooh, girl ♫

Owen:

♫ You're a girl ♫

Louds:

♫ My girl ♫

Owen:

♫ And I'm a boy ♫

All:

♫ Ooh, girl ♫

♫ What else do we need? ♫

♫ Just the world ♫

♫ Ooh, girl ♫

Owen: "I'm Myrtle!"

Louds: "You're Myrtle!"

[In the audience, a woman watches the whole thing unimpressed, with her husband taunting her.]

Man: [smugly] "And you wanted to go to Rubiner's."

[Back at Rubiner's, a couple toasts with coconut drinks when Lincoln sneaks near their table, confusing the man in the relationship.]

Man: "Huh?"

[Lincoln rolls next to the door leading to the kitchen and hears a familiar name...]

???: "We're running out of time. Get these rocket parts to Dufus now!"

Goons: "Yes, sir!"

[Lincoln looks near the kitchen door's glass window and spots the man the goons report to. The man's back is turned to the goons and Lincoln, but Lincoln sees the prosthetic hammer on his left hand and recognizes him as...]

Lincoln: [gasps]"Ham Hand! From Gran-Gran's stories!"

Curly Goon: "Well, we'd better get moving."

[The doors open right in Lincoln's face as the goons leave.]

Bald Goon: "Yeah, last thing I need is a hammer in the face."

[When the doors close, Lincoln's face is smooshed.]

Lincoln: "Ow."

[He peels himself off the door and finds himself in the kitchen. Realizing it's occupied, he hastily grabs a frying pan to poorly hide himself as a cook walks past with a bucket of clams. Once the coast is clear, he puts the frying pan back where it was as a fried egg falls off his face. He sneaks around the kitchen, hiding in a cooking pot, near a frying pan, inside the corpse of a fish, and inside a storage cabinet before leaving the kitchen. Sneaking around some more, he finds himself in another dining area, but there's no sign of Ham Hand anywhere.]

Lincoln: "Dang it. Where'd he go?"

[Just then, another hand shows up, grabs him, and drags him into a closet. It's Myrtle, who is naturally angry.]

Myrtle: "Lincoln, what are you doing here?" [turns on the light]

Lincoln: "Oh, phew. Gran-Gran, it's you."

Myrtle: "I told you to drop the spy stuff. These people are dangerous. We need to get out of here now."

Lincoln: "Look, I'm sorry I didn't listen to you, but Ham Hand is here, and he said something about building a rocket for Dufus."

Myrtle: [surprised] "What? Doofus is back from space?"

Lincoln: "Yeah, and we have to stop him."

Myrtle: "No. X is sending another agent, and they can stop Doofus."

Lincoln: "Uh, so don't get mad, but no one's coming." [takes out her cell phone]

Myrtle: "Is that my phone?!"

Lincoln: [sheepishly] "Yeah. I sort of borrowed it and accepted the mission."

Myrtle: "WHAT?!" [angrily takes it back]

Lincoln: "I said don't get mad. Don't worry. We got this. You and I make a great team."

[Unfortunately, the closet door opens, and they're spotted by Dufus's goons.]

Henchman Mo: "Hey, what are you doing here?" [Myrtle puts herself in front of Lincoln] "Wait a second, you're the two from the boat!"

[Lincoln gets an idea and whips out his fart spray]

Lincoln: "David Steele fart spray!" [He sprays Mo; to Myrtle] "Nice move, huh?"

Myrtle: [grabs him] "Come on!"

[They run out of the closet, but are cornered by Dufus's men: Mo, the curly goon, a slick-haired goon, an eyepatch goon, and a thin goon. The diners all run out of the dining room.]

Myrtle: "Lincoln, stay back!"

Lincoln: "David Steele throwing star!"

[He throws a shuriken, but the eyepatch goon catches it with his teeth before spitting it out and grabbing Lincoln by the tux. It looks like the little spy is done for, but...]

Myrtle: "Room for dessert?!"

[She throws a serving table at the goon, knocking him out and saving Lincoln.]

Lincoln: "Sweet burn, Gran-Gran!"

Curly Goon: "Come here!" [chases him]

[Myrtle fights the eyepatch goon, punching him in the chest, kicking him in the chin, and throwing another kick that knocks him out. The bald goon then tackles her. Meanwhile, Lincoln jumps up on a table, causing the curly goon to crash headfirst into it.]

Lincoln: "Gazpacho in your face!"

[He kicks a bowl of gazpacho in the goon's face]

Curly Goon: "Gross!" [The bald goon continues to fight Myrtle] "Get over here, kid!"

[Lincoln hops on top of the oar decorations, kicking one of them in the goon's face. The goon grabs the oar and swings as Lincoln gets on top of the rafters, but Lincoln dodges each of them. He jumps on a piece of rope and knocks a boat decoration and its accompanying oars right on top of the curly goon. Myrtle slides on the floor and grabs an oar with the bald goon and eyepatch goon chasing her.]

Bald Goon: "Get her!"

[The eyepatch goon grabs Myrtle's oar, but she throws him off.]

Myrtle: "Table for three?" [spins the bald goon around before shoving a slick goon on top of him] "Take that booth!"

[She shoves both goons and the eyepatch goon towards a table with the oar trapping them. Mo grabs a nearby mounted swordfish named Lucky and threatens Myrtle with it. He swings it at her, but she jumps on his shoulders and tries to subdue him.]

Myrtle: "Crab cakes, table ten!"

[She throws him onto a crab cake dish]

Henchman Mo: "I can't see!" [trips]

[The bald goon rushes at Myrtle, but she fends him off. The curly goon, having escaped the boat, also attacks her, as does the slick goon, but she throws the curly goon on the slick goon.]

Myrtle: "Who's ready for more?!"

[Lincoln, hanging from the lights, surveys the battlefield, with Myrtle surrounded by the three goons. He spots an octopus-shaped chandelier hanging from above and gets an idea, climbing the ropes. The curly goon attacks Myrtle, and she parries the bald goon's lobster. She knocks out both goons with a double kick. The slick goon rises up with a dish, ready to attack, but Lincoln drops the chandelier on him.]

Lincoln: "That was incredible!" [The chandelier drops on the slick goon again.] "Can we get a quick pic with all the bodies behind me?" [prepares to take a selfie]

Myrtle: "Not now. We gotta get outta here."

Chase through the town/ Myrtle Kidnapped

• Henchman Mo: "Too late, chump burgers!" [Myrtle elbows him in the gut, knocking him out before they run away. They rush out of the front door, passing by a couple.] Myrtle: "Excuse us." Lincoln: "Sorry, enjoy your meal." Myrtle: "Moped, 12 o’clock." [She and Lincoln run to the nearest moped and don helmets] Lincoln: "Go, go, go!" [Unfortunately, Myrtle realizes there's something up with the mopeds...] Myrtle: [confused] "E-scooter? What the heck's an e-scooter?" [reads the instructions on the screen between the handlebars] "'Download app, scan phone to activate'? Hang on, let me get my glasses." [puts on her reading glasses] [Dufus's goons burst out of the restaurant] Lincoln: [worried] "Uh..." Henchman Mo: [spots him] "Over there!" Lincoln: "Let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go!" Myrtle: "I'm downloading the app!" [The goons run towards them when Myrtle's phone downloads the app, and she activates the e-scooter and revs up the engine, just in time for Lincoln to narrowly evade getting grabbed by Mo. Myrtle's reading glasses fall off.] Lincoln: "Do you think they'll figure out the app?" [The goons have all grabbed hold of their own e-scooters] Henchman Mo: "I figured out the app. Let's roll." [The goons all rev up their e-scooters and give chase. Lincoln notices with a nervous look on his face. Myrtle drives the scooter through the streets, dodging traffic. She looks back and sees the goons in pursuit.] Myrtle: "Hang on, sweetie. We're gonna ditch these punks!" [The bald goon speeds up and closes in on Lincoln with his hand outstretched. Lincoln screams in panic, but Myrtle swerves out of the way and slyly points forwards. The bald goon is confused before crashing into the Louds' limo and falling headfirst into a dumpster. Myrtle turns to her left to avoid the limo with the other goons in pursuit down a slope. She spots a wooden plank on a truck and uses the plank as a ramp to launch herself and Lincoln on the rooftops. Mo and the slick and eyepatch goons also use the slope. The truck's owner removes the plank, inadvertently causing the curly goon to crash into the truck. The rest of the goons resume pursuit on the rooftops. Mo takes out a gun and starts firing darts at Lincoln and Myrtle.] Lincoln: [screams] "Are they blasting at us?!" Myrtle: "Well, they're sure not blowing us kisses!" [One of the darts hits the e-scooter. Lincoln grabs it and pokes the point with his left hand.] Lincoln: "Tranquilizer darts? Don't worry, Gran-Gran." [Unfortunately, the dart's effects start to sink in, with Lincoln's entire left arm becoming soft and wiggly while he starts sounding loopy] "I'll take care of this guy." Myrtle: "I've got it, Lincoln. Just give me your phone." Lincoln: [briefly snaps back to his senses] "Yeah, great idea." [takes out his phone] "You can use my David Steele distraction light." [Unfortunately, he's unaware his distraction light app is not suitable for moped chases, as the app itself warns on the disclaimer. Myrtle grabs the phone and throws it away.] "Hey!" [The phone hits Mo on the head, causing him to accidentally tranquilize himself on the neck. He soon loses control of his body and veers off the roof. The last two goons close in on the duo.] Myrtle: "Lincoln, clothesline!" [They're approaching a clothesline. With a knowing nod, Myrtle drifts the scooter, and Lincoln uses his numb arm as a whip to latch onto the clothesline and pull it back. Once they let go, the clothesline pulls back and strikes the last two goons. Myrtle and Lincoln drive into the jungle, cheering in victory.] Lincoln: "Whoa! That was amazing! We messed those dudes up, Gran-Gran." Myrtle: "We sure did." [Suddenly, a light turns on. It turns out Ham Hand has intercepted them with his own e-scooter, and he strikes them with his hammer, sending them crashing out in another part of the jungle. Lincoln unknowingly loses the wedding rings in the process. Battered and bruised, Myrtle gets up and sees Lincoln hurt.] Myrtle: [gasps] "Lincoln!" [Lincoln regains consciousness, the tranquilizer dart's effects having worn off.] Lincoln: "Ow... huh?" Myrtle: "You've gotta get out of here." Lincoln: "But, Gran-Gran--" Myrtle: [grabs Lincoln by the shoulders] "Listen to me. You need to get Pop-Pop and your family off the island. I'll be fine." [hugs him] "Now go!" [Lincoln leaves and dives behind a bush. Myrtle lies down when Ham Hand closes in, chuckling. He then gets off his e-scooter and crushes Myrtle's phone with his foot, destroying it, as Lincoln watches in worry.] Myrtle: "Oh, come on! All my pictures were on there!" Ham Hand: [chuckles] "Agent 28. We meet again." Myrtle: "Hammy. Long time no see. Did your hair get thinner?" Ham Hand: [laughs] "Get the jokes in now. Dufus got you front-row tickets for our main event, and then..." [grabs Myrtle] "I'm gonna put an end to this little reunion." [Lincoln tenses up more as the thin goon, slick goon, and eyepatch goon show up, laughing.] Ham Hand: "Tie her up. Sweep the area for the wannabe spy." [The goons tie up Myrtle and throw her on Ham Hand's e-scooter. Ham Hand then drives away, laughing. The goons then begin searching for Lincoln.] Thin Goon: "Where is this kid?" Lincoln: [panicking] "Oh, no. So not good, so not good..." [Unfortunately, the goons have heard him...] Eyepatch Goon: "Hey, I hear some panicking. Over here!" [Lincoln panics and runs away.] Thin Goon: "You check over there, I'll check over here." [The goons split up to find Lincoln, who is still running aimlessly through the jungle.] Lincoln: "What do I do? What would David Steele do? Think, think, think." [stops at a clearing and takes a deep breath] "Just got to take this one step at a time--" [Unfortunately, he's right at a cliff, so as he takes a step forwards, he falls off. He lands inside a bush and then bounces back down while being coiled by a snake. Both Lincoln and the snake tumble down a slope before finally hitting the ground. The snake, dizzied by the experience, slithers away.] Lincoln: "Ow..." [gets up and feels his back] "Ow." [Suddenly he sees headlights and gasps, thinking it's Dufus's men] "They found me!" [He presses himself against the bark and covers his face poorly with leaves. The lights turn out to belong to the Louds' limo, which pulls up before a window opens.] Lori: "Lincoln, we can see you." Lola: "Yeah, and you look terrible. What are you doing out here? Are you playing spy again?" Lincoln: [removes the leaves] "Lori? Lola? Am I glad to see you guys. There's an evil doctor trying to take over the world, and his goons captured Gran-Gran." [Lori and Lola laugh off his story.] Lori: "What are you talking about? Myrtle is literally in the limo with us." [points inside] Lincoln: "Huh?" [They let him in the limo. Inside, the rest of the sisters are partying with Owen, who is still in the Myrtle disguise.] Sisters: "Go, Myrtle! Go, Myrtle! Go, Myrtle! Go, Myrtle!" Lincoln: [mistaking Owen for Myrtle] "Gran-Gran!" [Everyone stops partying] "You escaped. Are you catching everyone up on our wild night? What's the plan?" Owen: "Um, I'm Myrtle?" [giggles] [Lincoln notices the mop handle on "Myrtle's" hair.] Lincoln: "Huh?" [He then grabs the handle and pulls it off of Owen, exposing his ruse. The other Louds gasp in shock at the revelation. Owen can only nervously chuckle.] Lynn: "Imposter!" [prepares to beat him up] Owen: [begging for his life] "Please don't hurt me. Please don't hurt me. Look, Myrtle promised me a big tip if I pretended to be her, so..." [chuckles] Lola: You're telling me we've been buying drinks all night for some rando?! Owen: I-I-I-I would have said something earlier, but I just got caught up in being Myrtle. It was so freeing. I just gotta say, you're the most supportive family I've ever met. [Cut to outside the limo. Owen is promptly kicked out of the limo, screaming as he lands in the bushes.]
• Lola: So you guy's ridiculous story is true?
• Rita Loud: Lori, call everyone else, Pop-Pop and your father, stat.
• Lori Loud: Mom, nobody makes phone calls anymore. It's all about the emojis.
• Rita Loud: (scaring Lori) Just call them! (bangs on the door) Flop, Louie, whatever your name is, take us to the island police station and step on it.
• Flop: Ok. But if anyone yacks on the upholstery, I got to charge a $50 upchuck fee.
• -JUST DRIVE!!!!

(Flop goes hard on the gas going crazy fast and vomits himself)

• Flop: Oop, that one was me. But I'm still charging you.
• -Oh come on!

Plan to save Myrtle/Gadget Time/Jail

(A few moments later, Pop-Pop, Lynn Sr. and rest of our heroes meet up with the gang at the police station)

• Rita Loud: We need to see the chief, ASAP!
• Flop: You got him. (eats a cheese puff) Chief Phillipinni, nice to me youse.

(Lola facepalms herself)

• -I'm sorry, weren't you in the limo 2 seconds ago?
• Albert: That's not important. My Myrtle was taken and we need you to get her back; chop-chop!
• Flop: Oh yeesh. That is a pickle. But I got to wait 48 hours to filling a missing persons report. Hey, if your looking to kill a little time, Chivche and I are doing a two nights of improv at the Chuckle Congo. Just make sure to lock up on your way out. There's a whole lot of evidence in there. (slams door)
• -Well, that was a waste of time.
• -And our money.
• Albert: Oh, I can't believe I wasn't there to help her. What kind of fiancé am I?
• Lynn Loud Sr.: What are we gonna do?
• Lincoln Loud: I know exactly what we're gonna do.
• Lynn Loud: Huh?
• Lincoln Loud: We form an elite spy team and go into the jungle to save her. That's what David Steele would do.
• Lori Loud: Lincoln we are so not secret agents.
• Lynn Loud: Yeah, Lori can't even catch. (throws a shell at Lori)
• Lori Loud: Ow! Lynn!
• Lynn Loud: See?
• -That hasn't stop us before, hasn't it?
• -You guys have faced actual super villains,
• -Traveled through time and space.
• -Took on a mutated corn monster.
• -Saved a newly born magical baby.
• -And did you literally forget about our adventure in Scotland!?
• -We are our own until we get through to the mainland.
• -And we're the only hope Myrtle has to stop Dufu and his nefarious plans.
• -And to save your soon to be member of your family.
• Lincoln Loud: So there one question we need to ask you: Who's with us?

(The girls felt uncertain)

• Albert: I am.
• Loud Girls: Huh?
• Albert: The gang is right. It's us or no one. I'm in.
• -We're in.
• -Let's go save your Gran-Gran!

(Everyone cheers)

• Rita Loud: That's a cute idea, guys. But how are we supposed to take down an army of henchmen.
• Lincoln Loud: Easy we just need the right equipment.

(Everyone moves to see Lisa smirking)

• Lisa Loud: (laughs) Meet in at the hotel business center in the morning.
• -It's always the scientist that's the scary ones.
• Tigger: (whispers to ???) Yeah, more than Lucy ever could.
• Lucy Loud (OS): I heard that.

(The next morning, everyone meets Lisa and TODD in the buisness center turned into a control center)

• Lisa: Welcome to my makeshift lab. It's been tough without the proper facilities, but we're making do.
• -This is "making do"?
• Lisa Loud: You'd be surprised what I can work with. Todd, initiate Protocol Steele.

Todd: AFFIRMATIVE, Y'ALL. (types password: ST33L3, and the big screen rotates to reveal an array of gadgets and a certain comic book)

Everyone: Ooh.

Lincoln: Is that David Steele issue 479?!

Lisa: "Keen observation, brother. Taking a page from this comic, I've whipped up a few devices that should aid in the kicking of some serious villain posterior. Street name: butts."

[Cue a montage of Lisa giving her siblings gadgets]

Lisa: For Leni, lightning lemonade lipstick capable of cutting any and all types of material.

[Leni acquires the lipstick, uncaps it, and slices a circular hole with it.]

Leni: "Ooh, a spring shade."

Lisa: "For you, Lily, this special lollipop. One lick, and an elephant will be sleeping for hours."

[An elephant goes up to Lily and takes a lick of her lollipop, only to instantly collapse and fall asleep. Lily laughs at this.]

Lisa: "For Lori, a pitching wedge grappling hook capable of holding 10,000 pounds."

Lori: "What's this button do?"

[She presses it, but she's aiming the grappling hook the wrong way, and a grappling hook fires from the head and drags her backwards.]

Lisa: "And for the flower girl, delicate and destructive daffodils."

[Lola eagerly tosses some daffodils, and they explode in the air.]

Lisa: "For Luan, a whoopee cushion filled with Lynn's post-meatball flatulence.]

Lynn: [impressed] "Deadly." [realizes] "Wait, how did you--"

Lisa: "Hydraulic knuckles for Pop-Pop."

Albert: [pumps his new knuckles] "That's the stuff!"

Lisa: "And Lincoln, for you, your David Steele watch has now been reinforced with stainless steel and bulletproof carbon as well as equipped with a built-in super magnet." [Lincoln activates the magnet and attracts not just some small gears, but also a frying pan, a fridge, and a car.] "It's only got enough charge for one use, so use it wisely."

Lynn Sr.: "Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, what's my device, Lisa? What's my device, huh?"

Lisa: "Glad you asked, Father." [gives him two pepper shakers]

Lynn Sr.: "Whoa, pepper shakers." [gasps] "Do they talk? Explode? Oh, I bet they're heat-seeking."

[He throws one of them while laughing, but it isn't heat-seeking. He then picks it up and starts playing with them like airplanes while imitating an engine humming.]

Rita: "Uh, Lisa?"

Lisa: "Don't worry. They're just electric. I don't want him hurting anyone, including himself."

[Lynn Sr. continues bashing the pepper shakers against each other, making zooming noises.]

Lincoln: "Dr. Dufus won't know what hit him. Let's go save Gran-Gran!"

[The family starts cheering]

(Meanwhile, at Dufus's lair, two guards are dragging Myrtle to her cell block and throws her in)

• Guard 1: In you go.
• Myrtle: No, no, no, this is all wrong. I requested a suite with a king-sized bed.
• Guard 1: Keep joking, 28. Dufus will get the last laugh. (laughs)
• Myrtle: Like he isn't already laughing at that caterpillar under your nose.
• Guard 1: (feeling hurt) It's a timeless look, OK?!
• Rick: (comforts him) Don't listen to her. I think it's cute.
• Guard 1: Thanks, Rick. You always know what to say.

(The guards leave as the cell door closes.)

• Myrtle: [sighs] Oh, Myrtle, you just can't escape this life, can you?

Dune Buggy Chase

[Later, the Louds head into the jungle, tracking Myrtle via the tire tracks of Ham Hand's moped.]

Lincoln: "Come on, guys. I'm pretty sure these tire tracks will lead us right to Gran-Gran."

[The others groan, already tired from the hike. Eventually, they run into the end of the tracks.]

Lincoln: "Wait. The tracks just end here."

Lola: "Oh, well, that's just great. We came all this way, and now we're lost, Lincoln!"

[Luckily, Lana picks up a familiar scent]

Lana: [sniffs] "Lip balm, mothballs, and a hint of those hard caramels from the gas station."

Albert: "That's Myrtle. She was here."

[Putting Charles's bloodhound lessons to good use, Lana begins tracking Myrtle by scent.]

Albert: "Come on, girl, what do you smell?"

Lana: [follows the scent] "Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff!"

Albert: "She's got the scent!"

[The others follow Lana as she continues to track the scent. However, Lana finds Myrtle's scent has vanished at a clearing.]

Lana: "Huh. The scent goes cold here."

[Lincoln clears away some of the foliage to reveal a prominent mountain]

Lincoln: "That's it! That's where they have Gran-Gran!" [pulls out a comic book called David Steele Issue 10: Doom with a View] "In David Steele issue 10, M.A.L.I.C.E. captured David Steele's nephew and held him hostage in a mountain lair. We just need to find a way in."

Leni: "Hey, maybe those guys can help us."

[She's pointing at two guards]

Lincoln: [gasps] "Get down!" [ducks for cover]

[The rest of his family also ducks for cover... except Leni, who is confused. Lincoln then reaches out and pulls Leni down. They all peek from cover to watch the guards... except Fifi then shows up with a dune buggy]

Fifi: [loudly] "HOWDY, LOUDIES!" [blares "La Cucaracha" from the horn]

[The Louds gasp, and Lincoln waves his hands to get her to be quiet.]

Fifi: "Rented a buggy from the resort!" [revs up the engine]

[Unfortunately, her antics attract the attention of the guards...]

Guard 1: "Did you hear something?"

Lincoln: [stands up] "Fifi, please stop!"

[He realizes too late their cover is blown]

Guard 2: "Hey, it's that nosy white-haired kid from the boat! Get him!"

Rita: "Quick! Follow me!"

[They run to Fifi's buggy]

Fifi: "This thing really mo-" [The Louds run past her and hijack the buggy, spinning her around] "-oooves!"

[The twins take the overhead compartment, Lynn Sr. and Lincoln ride shotgun, and the rest of the Louds sit in the back seats]

Rita: [takes the driver's seat] "Sorry. We're commandeering this. Hold onto your butts."

[She and Lynn Sr. fasten their seat belts. She then revs up the engine and drives off]

Fifi: "See you soon!"

[The Louds drive off, covering Fifi in sand. She can only blink in response. They drive past another buggy, which the goons commandeer]

Guard 1: "Go, go, go!"

[They drive off in pursuit. Fifi is getting sand out of her eyes when the guards drive past her and cover her in even more sand, laughing. Meanwhile, the Louds drive through the jungle]

Rita: "Did we lose them?"

[Lincoln looks back and sees no sign of the guards...]

Lincoln: "Coast is clear, Mom."

[...except he's dead wrong. The guards burst from the underbrush and charge at them, forcing Rita to steer sharply out of their way. Laughing, the guards ram the Louds' buggy, causing them to drive deeper into the jungle. They crash through various flora and fauna.]

Lisa: "CLIFF APPROACHING!"

[They're indeed nearing a cliff]

Rita: "Hang on, kids!"

[She launches the buggy off of the cliff, and they land on the beach. The buggy takes a while to get adjusted, but the Louds cheer briefly... before Lily notices something else in the distance.]

Lily: [worried] "More bad guys!"

[The goons on the buggy show up... and are joined by four more goons riding motorcycles. All six goons launch themselves onto the beach.]

Lola: "Ugh, so dramatic. I'll handle this!"

[She throws her explosive petals at the goons, and the petals explode, launching two of the bike goons away. The buggy goons pull over, and Rita reacts in shock before they promptly ram the Louds, spinning their buggy around. Rita shifts gears to reverse and starts driving in reverse, dodging a nearby rock. The goons react in confusion before they see the rock and quickly dodge it, too. The two remaining bike goons aren't so lucky and hit the rock, flying. The buggy goons close in on the Louds. With one look, they nod at each other and begin to ram the Louds. Rita takes notice and flinches at the ramming.]

Luan: [notices] "Mom, look out!"

[They're getting closer to the mountain. Rita switches gears back to drive and turns the buggy around. The buggy goons aren't so lucky and stop as their airbags deploy. With the mountain so close, Rita screams and hits the brakes, swerving as they skid to a stop.

Sneaking into the Base

Luckily, the base of the mountain has a secret entrance containing a hanger for buggies, which they drive into. Once they're inside, the Louds can only look around in confusion as to where they are.]

Lynn Sr.: "Where are we?"

Lincoln: "This must be the entrance to Dr. Dufus's secret lair."

Albert: "Let's go take it to him."

Lincoln: "Not so fast, Pop-Pop. Villain 101: Any evil lair is gonna be heavily guarded. If we're gonna breach this place, we gotta do it... spy style."

Lily knocks on the entrance. A guard opens the door, blaster in hand, and looks around the area, which is seemingly empty aside from the Louds' buggy and a few other buggies.]

Lily: "Ahem."

[The guard looks down and sees Lily on the doorstep with wide, beady eyes.]

Guard: "Uh, hello, baby. Are you lost?" [Lily takes out her tranquilizer lollipop and offers it to him] "Oh, thanks, but no thanks. I'm trying to cut back on my sweets." [Lily's expression changes to one of surprise, and then she starts crying] "No! Wait! Shh! Don't cry! Look!" [takes the lollipop as she stops crying] "See?" [takes a lick of it] "Oh, is that cinna--"

[The tranquilizer's effects kick in, and he instantly collapses on the ground, drooling in his sleep.]

Lily: "Night-night."

[She gives a thumbs-up. The other Louds are revealed to have been hiding near their buggy as they emerge from cover.]

Lincoln: "Nice work, Lily."

Lily: "Thank you."

[Lincoln and Lily high-five before the guard's walkie-talkie blares.]

Guard Boss: "Attention all security staff. We have ten minutes until the big launch." [Everyone gasps] "Also, today is Tony's birthday, so don't forget to sign his card in the break room."

Lincoln: "Guys, we gotta get Gran-Gran quick. Come on." [The Louds follow him inside the base, and Lincoln spots something useful.] "Look, a directory." [analyzes the floor plan] "Let's see... aha! There's a jail cell on the tenth floor. That's where they'll be keeping Gran-Gran."

Lynn: "It's jailbreak time, baby!"

Lincoln: "Be careful. These places are usually riddled with booby traps. One wrong step and you--"

Lori: "Uh, Lincoln?"

[He's accidentally stepped into a laser booby trap]

Lincoln: [realizes] "Dang it."

[An alarm blares, and the entrance is sealed. The Louds all dodge in different directions, but are all separated; Albert, Lori, Leni, Luna, Lincoln, Lucy, and Lily are on one side, and the parents, Luan, Lynn Jr., the twins, and Lisa are on the other side.]

Lincoln: "That was close."

Lynn: [gasps] "Hey, what gives?"

Rita: "Are you guys OK?"

Lincoln: "We're fine. We all know where to go. Let's meet up at the jail cell."

[The two groups head their separate ways.]

[Meanwhile, in her jail cell, Myrtle is nervously pacing around]

Computer Voice: "T-MINUS TEN MINUTES UNTIL LAUNCH."

Myrtle: "Think, Myrtle, think. You can't let Doofus fire that rocket." [realizes there's a toilet and gets an idea] "Free napkins." [takes out some napkins from her breasts] "Never know when they'll save your life." [puts them inside the toilet]

[The parents, twins, Luan, Lynn Jr., and Lisa have found an elevator, which is guarded. They promptly hide from the guards.]

Lynn Sr.: "Ah, that's our way up. But how do we get those guys out of here?"

[They notice the silhouette of a guard approaching and gasp. It's Tony, who is wheeling some equipment on a cart and whistling the birthday song to himself. When he approaches their corridor, he finds it's seemingly empty. Unknown to him, they're hiding just outside his peripheral vision.]

Tony: "Hmm. We work in a nice place." [leaves]

Lynn: "I got this one." [leaps from her hiding place]

Tony: "Huh?"

[Lynn rams Tony with her rump and knocks him out cold.]

Lynn: "Sorry to butt in..." [reads his nametag] "Tony." [drops him]

Lisa: "Hmm. Anyone here wear a men's extra large?"

[All eyes turn to Lynn Sr.]

Lynn Sr.: "I'm more of a snug medium..."

[They dress him up in Tony's uniform and shove him in front of the elevator guards]

Lynn Sr.: "Stop it." [yelps and approaches the guards] "Hey, hey, fellas. You henching hard or hardly henching?"

Elevator Guard: "Hey, it's Tony! Happy birthday, man."

Lynn Sr.: "Oh, uh, thanks. You too."

Elevator Guard: "Hey, wait, my birthday is next Tuesday. And the real Tony would know that!" [points his blaster at Lynn Sr.]

Lynn Sr.: "Oh, uh, I didn't want to have to do this, but you left me no choice!"

[He brandishes a pepper shaker, presses a button, and fires some pepper out a short distance, not even getting close to the guards. His wife and kids facepalm, and even the guards laugh. In response, Lynn Sr. thrusts his pepper shaker even further, and the pepper causes the guards to sneeze so hard they knock themselves out and hit the walls.]

Lynn Sr.: "Huzzah!" [The others look at the chaos he's accidentally caused] "It's OK, kids. Daddy saved us all." [They get in the elevator] "Hiyah!" [laughs as the elevator heads up to the tenth floor] "All right, just a straight shot to the top." [Unfortunately, it stops] "Whoa, wait, why are we stopping?"

Rita: "I have an idea."

[She opens Tony's uniform and crams herself and the kids inside. When the elevator opens, more guards are treated to the sight of a seemingly bloated "Tony" before nervously greeting him.]

Guard: "Hey... Tony." [They get in] "Someone's been really putting away the birthday cake."

Lynn Sr.: [laughs] "Yeah, well, you know me. Tony can't help himself."

[He sweats nervously as the elevator door closes.]

[Elsewhere, Lincoln peeks around a corridor, then leads his group to a walkway. Unfortunately, it's right over a hanger where several goons are working.]

Luna: "How are we gonna cross without them seeing us?"

[Lincoln notices the lights over the area, all connected to a power grid on the other side of the door.]

Lincoln: "We need to cut the lights."

Leni: "On it."

[She takes out her lipstick and uses it to slice the power cable, cutting out the lights. The guards all instantly run around in panic, with one guard accidentally pouring his coffee on himself and screaming in pain.]

Lucy: "Stay close. I have natural night vision."

[They take the opportunity to cross the walkway with Lucy in the lead.]

[Back inside the elevator, the siblings are trying to escape Lynn Sr.'s suit...]

Lynn: "Get your shoes out of my face!"

Lana: "Get your face out of my shoes!"

Lisa: "Oxygen levels waning."

Lola: "Need... air..."

[Outside Lynn Sr.'s suit, Lola takes a desperate breath of air before collapsing. One guard notices and gets suspicious and hits the suit with the butt of his blaster.]

Lynn Sr.: "You know, too much birthday cake. My very large, lumpy tummy."

[The guard gets close to Lynn Sr in suspicion...]

Guard: "Happy birthday, Tony."

[The elevator opens, this time showing an entire squad of goons.]

Guards: "Tony, the birthday boy!"

[They all cram into the elevator]

Random Guard: "let's all sing happy birthday to Tony. One, two, three."

[They start singing]

Guards: "♫ Happy birthday to... ♫"

[Lucy leads her group across the walkway, but...]

Mustached Guard: "Hey, I found a flashlight."

Random Guard: "Nice. Turn that sucker on."

[The guard turns on the flashlight, catching the Louds halfway across the walkway]

Lincoln: "Stay perfectly still. Maybe they don't see us." [The guards all brandish their blasters] "Dang it. RUN!!!"

[The Louds all make a mad dash for the exit as the guards open fire, with Leni briefly pausing to throw her lipstick at the mustached guard. It quickly knocks him out.]

Guard: "SHUT THE DOOR!"

[Another guard hits a button, and an alarm blares as the door closes.]

Lincoln: "Hurry! We can make it!" [The guards' blasters shoot down the cables holding the walkway one at a time.] "That's not good!"

[The walkway collapses, bringing the Louds down with it. At the last second, Lori fires her grappling hook golf club and saves the others as she swings to the door, which is still closing, and makes it inside. As the others take time to recover, Lori hears Lily's screams and instantly goes alert. Lily is still hanging dress-first on a beam, screaming for help.]

Lori: [gasps] "I got you, Lily!" [saves her baby sister right before the door closes]

[The guards are still singing "Tony" happy birthday]

Guards: "♫ Happy birthday to you, you live in a zoo... ♫"

[Rita and the kids are still crammed in Lynn Sr.'s suit]

Rita: "We gotta lose these guys."

Luan: [gets an idea] "Everybody hold your breath. Here comes the meatball sub."

[She readies her whoopee cushion and slips it out of Lynn Sr.'s suit as everyone holds their breath.]

Guards: "♫ You smell like a monkey-- ♫"

[Luan activates the whoopee cushion, which is so powerful it launches the elevator all the way to the tenth floor, snapping the cables and filling the elevator, the shaft, and all the floors leading to the tenth floor with the stench of Lynn's post-meatball sub flatulence. The guards inside the elevator all exit to escape Lynn's farts.]

Guard: [out of breath] "Happy birthday, Tony..." [collapses]

[Back in Myrtle's jail cell, Rick and his fellow guard notice water leaking from the cell...]

Rick: "Ah, gross. There must be a clog." [at the same time as his fellow guard] "Dibs not fixing it."

Guard: [at the same time as Rick] "Dibs not fixing." [realizes he's too slow] "Ugh. Fine, I'll get the plunger." [leaves]

[Rick enters the jail cell and finds the toilet overflowing]

Rick: "Jeez, lady, ever heard of fiber?" [notices her silhouette under her blanket and on her bed] "On your feet. We gotta transfer you while we get this cleaned up." [No response] "Hey, I said--" [removes the comforter to reveal it's just a bunch of pillows and gasps] "The pillow ploy! I keep falling for that."

[The other guard enters]

Guard: "Got the plunger. I brought the toilet brush too just in case."

[Unfortunately, Myrtle is hanging from the ceiling, and she swipes the guard's plunger before smacking him in the face with it, knocking him unconscious.]

Rick: "Huh?"

[Myrtle throws the plunger at Rick, and its suction cup latches onto his face before pinning him to the wall. He slides off the wall before Myrtle approaches him and rips the suction cup off his face.]

Myrtle: "OK, where's Doofus's rocket?" [Rick blows a raspberry at her in response] "A tough guy, huh?" [grabs the toilet brush] "Maybe we should try cleaning that mouth of yours."

Rick: [shrieks] "It's one floor up!"

[Myrtle slyly smiles in thanks.]

[Cut to Lincoln's group running up the stairs, and then to the others exiting the elevator. We then cut back to Lincoln slamming open the door at the top of the stairs and leading his group onward.]

Albert: [sounding pretty bushed from climbing those stairs] "Slow down!"

[We briefly cut to Lynn Jr. outrunning her namesake. As they approach the entrance to what appears to be Myrtle's cell, Lincoln sees the rest of the family coming.]

Lincoln: "You guys made it! Yeah!"

Lynn: [body slams her brother] "First ones here! WE WIN!"

Lincoln: "Not a competition, Lynn. But I love the enthusiasm."

[Lynn looks to the side to see a knocked-out guard in front of the prison cell door. Lincoln opens the door and the family looks around inside the cell, which is noticeably not flooded by a clogged toilet. Something is definitely not right.]

Albert: "I don't see my Myrtle anywhere!"

Lincoln: "Guys, something feels off. My spy sense is going bananas!"

[A red alarm light suddenly goes off inside the cell, and the door slams shut behind them.]

[Myrtle makes it to the eleventh floor, plunger in hand. She looks around and cautiously enters before gasping at the sight of Dufus' rocket, recreated without a certain glass container.]

Computer Voice: "LAUNCH INITIATED." [Myrtle notices a computer initiating the launch sequence] "LAUNCH INITIATED."

Myrtle: "I gotta disarm this rocket!"

[She accesses the terminal and types in the directive key "DISARM", but...]

Computer Voice: "ACCESS DENIED. MASTER KEY REQUIRED."

Myrtle: "Master key required?"

[Suddenly another door dings, making Myrtle gasp. The door slowly opens...]

Ham Hand: "Now coming to the ring, fighting out of Topeka, Kansas." [Myrtle grabs her plunger and steels herself for battle.] "He's six-foot-seven, three hundred and 20 pounds, the Prince of Pummel..." [Ham Hand emerges from the door and leaps into battle.] "He is..." [lands]

Myrtle: "Ham Hand."

[Ham Hand laughs and rips off his suit, revealing his old wrestling uniform with a double H logo.]

Ham Hand: "Didn't like your room, old-timer?"

Myrtle: "A little small for my tastes. I like to spread my wings." [removes a hairclip and lets her beehive down] "Now, let's dance."

[Ham Hand charges and brings his hammer down. Myrtle jumps out of the way and jumps over two more hammer strikes before fleeing. He then continues to bring his hammer down as she flips over them before she plants her plunger suction cup-first and slingshots the handle down on Ham Hand's foot. Seizing the distraction, she kicks him in the face three times, knocking him over. He's unable to find her, but she jumps on his head and puts him in a chokehold with her plunger.]

Myrtle: "Hold still!"

[Ham Hand shakes her off and sends her flying with his hammer. The plunger flies out of her hands and sticks on the ceiling as she is knocked into the computer console. Seeing Ham Hand incoming, Myrtle kicks the console at him, but he dodges. As it turns out, the cord causes the console to slingshot itself right on Ham Hand's back. Myrtle dodges away as the console knocks Ham Hand towards her. He removes the console and swings his hammer at her as she dodges. She gasps as he lunges at her and pins her down with his right hand.]

Ham Hand: "Time for your nap, grandma." [raises his hammer for the final blow]

[Myrtle notices the plunger loosening before falling.]

Myrtle: "Ham Hand, heads up."

Ham Hand: "Huh?"

[Ham Hand is then hit with the plunger, which sticks on his face. He tries to rip it off.]

Myrtle: "Looks you've got a clog, Hammy."

[She leaps on him and tries to pry the plunger off. Unknown to them, the computer shows a new message: COMPONENT 2: CONNECTION COMMENCE. The second component then rises from the floor and connects to the rocket. It's actually Myrtle's jail cell with the other Louds inside, which Myrtle notices.]

Villain Reveal

• Myrtle: Al? Kids! (jumps off Ham Hand)
• Everyone: Gran-Gran!
• Myrtle: I'm gonna get you out of here. Don't you worry.

(Ham Hand finally manages to get the plunger off his face)

• Lincoln Loud: (gasps) Gran-Gran, look out behind you.
• Myrtle: Huh? (grabbed by Ham Hand)
• -Let her go!
• -Don't hold your breath, you do-gooders.
• Fearless Leader: Ah, we finally have you meddling heroes right where we want you.
• Natasha: What should we do with them, Fearless Leader?
• Boris: I have these nunchucks I always keep with me. I have this bear trap I always keep with me. I don't even know what this is, but when I found it, I was like, "Oh, I'm keeping this with me".
• Fearless Leader: No. The plan was the lure them here to draw this Agent 28 out.
• -And now that we have a captive audience, we can get this show on the road.
• -You won't get away with Bowser's plan to take over the world.
• -Well, yes and no.
• -It was Bowser plan to take over the world....
• -But it wasn't our plan to bring that meddling family here.

(Suddenly a slow clap is heard while a shadow silhouette figure comes forward from a slight of stairs)

• Myrtle: There you are, Doofus!

(The shadowy figure reveals themselves to be...)

• Fifi: It's pronounce Dufu.
• Everyone: Fifi?
• -She's the mastermind?
• Myrtle: Huh?
• Fifi: You don't remember me, Agent 28?
• -Should she remember you?
• Fifi: She should. Because I remember her. The day she ruined my life will be etched in my mind forever.

(Flashback to 37, years ago)

• Fifi: Good news, Roofy Floofy, there was a hair in the mashed potatoes, so we got our sides for free. (sees the henchmen all beaten up by Myrtle)
• Henchmen ???: I love mashed potatoes.

(Suddenly the alarm goes off for the launch)

• Fifi: Rufus? (hides behind a rock and see her husband, Rufus, inside the rocket while Myrtle is "setting the launch code")
• Rufus Dufus: NO!!!!!!
• Fifi: Rufus! (runs to him but it was too late to stop the rocket; being covered in mashed potatoes; and seeing the person responsible for it)
• Young Myrtle: Well, that's a shame. But at least he got a room with a view.

(Back to the present, Fifi is angry at Myrtle)

• Myrtle: (gasps) You're Schmoofy Doofy
• Fifi Dufus: Very good, 28.
• Myrtle: I stopped your husband from taking over the world and I'll stop you, too.
• Fifi Dufus: (laughs) I never planned to take over the world.
• -That was more our thing.
• -We just needed to believe it was a ruse to bring you here.
• -But for her...it's personal.
• Fifi Dufus: Yeah, it's personal! Roofy Floofy and I had our whole future ahead of us. And you snatched that dream from me by shooting him into space!
• Myrtle: I didn't throw your husband into that rocket. He tripped and fell.
• Fifi Dufus: SILENCE!!!! This is my monologue.
• -Fifi was so devastated about the lost her husband, she wanted revenge on the person who took him away.
• -And it just so happens that Koopa could help her find her target and her husband.
• -But after searching for awhile, we were about the pull to plug.
• Joker: It's so tragic to lose the ones we love most. That's when we found this article about you Myrtle.
• -A newspaper mentioning you marrying to a man from Royal Woods whose family just happens to be friends of our enemies.
• Fifi Dufu: We've been studying all of you for months now. I know who's a genius. I know who's creepy. I even know who's prone to flatulence.
• Lynn Loud: Is it me? 'Cause this a toss-up between Lori and I.
• Lori Loud: Stop it, Lynn.
• Fifi Dufu: But I needed a way to get close.
• -Something that would tear the family apart.
• -Or in this case...someone.
• -You're talking nonsense.
• Albert: There's no way you could tear my family part; or my Myrtle.
• -(Drako VO): Think again, old timer. You know the only saying: "A Loud is only as strong as its weakest link."
• Fifi: And I found it with you, Lincoln.
• -What? Lincoln?
• -What does he have to do with this?
• Fifi Dufus: Must I spell it out for you. A wittle boy playing spy. I knew if I could lure you into my spy game, you wouldn't be able to resist.
• -Game?
• -What do you mean?
• -Did it ever occurred to you that Fifi was always around ever since you landed here?
• -That wherever she was, that danger followed you?
• -Wait, so, the boat ambush?
• -Us.
• -The attack at the restaurant?
• -Us.
• -The dune buggy chase?
• Fifi Dufus: It was all a setup. (laughs)
• -Shame you believed in this David Steele spy nonsense.
• -They would've warn people about the consequences.
• -You wanted to be a spy like Myrtle so bad, you neglect the one risk of being a spy.
• -Everything must come at a price.
• -And thanks to Lincoln, you brought us the last piece.
• -Dear old Myrtle, whose a real spy; not just some "pretender"
• -(in Father's voice) How much sweeter the victory knowing it's all your fault!
• Lincoln Loud: I can't believe I fell for it.
• Fifi: I can. You're just an irresponsible child. I mean, you couldn't even take care of a couple of wedding rings. (shows Myrtle and Albert's rings) You've led your loved ones right into my trap.
• -And just so there are no hard feelings, we decided to give you light and painless demise.
• -But it will be a little heartbreaking for the "real" secret agent there.

(Fifi pushes a button on her phone and the rocket powers up)

• Computer voice: Rocket armed.
• Fifi: You took my family away, 28 and now I'm gonna take away yours. By launching them into space!

Computer Voice: "T-MINUS ONE MINUTE UNTIL LAUNCH." [commences countdown] "59, 58, 57..."

[Myrtle gasps in shock.]

Fifi: "Au revoir, Louds!"

[She cackles as she runs out of the base and towards a waiting helicopter. Myrtle struggles against Ham Hand's grasp.]

Ham Hand: "You're not going anywhere, so just sit back and enjoy the show."

[Myrtle gasps when she looks at a monitor and realizes there's a bald patch on Ham Hand's head.]

Myrtle: "Hey, Hammy, your bald spot's showing."

Ham Hand: "What? But wait, I combed over it!" [reaches for his bald spot, allowing Myrtle to break free] "HEY!"

[He charges at her to crush her with his hammer, but she slides under his legs as the Louds gasp at her combat skills. Ham Hand swings his hammer again, but she dodges and he smashes the nearby walls, getting his hammer stuck. He fails to realize that his struggles to get it free are causing a crack to snake up to the ceiling and a nearby stalactite, something Myrtle realizes. Once he breaks free, Myrtle steps away, knowing the stalactite will crash down.]

Ham Hand: "Now, where were we?"

Myrtle: "Time for your nap."

Ham Hand: "Huh?"

[He's crushed by the stalactite, and Myrtle runs over to her family.]

Myrtle: "Hold tight, kids. If I can get Doofus's phone, I can stop the rocket."

[Albert comes over and tearfully presses his left hand against the glass. Smiling, she presses her right hand against the glass, right over his own, before chasing Fifi to the landing pad.]

Fifi: "I guess you won't be needing these..." [takes out the wedding rings] "...since I'll be shooting your fiancé into space." [laughs and throws the wedding rings into the seas]

Myrtle: [gasps] "NOOOOO!!!"

Fifi: [cackles] "Oh, that felt good. Boop." [activates the helicopter's autopilot] "Toodles. Enjoy the show."

[She climbs aboard the helicopter and takes off, laughing. Myrtle dashes forwards, jumps, and grabs Fifi's leg, stopping Fifi from getting aboard.]

Myrtle: "Too slow, Doofus!"

[They land on the landing pad as Fifi drops her phone. The two then get in a scramble over who gets the phone, only to accidentally drop it and cause it to bounce towards the edge.]

Fifi: "No, no, no, no, no, no, no!"

[The phone slides to near the edge.]

Phone Voice: "30 SECONDS UNTIL LAUNCH."

[The two women take one look at each other, then Fifi jabs Myrtle in the eye before running after her phone. Myrtle pulls her down and they start fighting for the phone as Fifi's helicopter flies off. As they continue to wrestle, Fifi pins Myrtle down before getting off and running after her phone. She then slides on the ground and finally snatches it...]

Fifi: "Gotcha!"

[Unfortunately, she's failed to account for friction and falls off the landing pad. Fifi screams as she nearly falls to her death, but Myrtle grabs her arm]

Myrtle: "I need that phone, Fifi!"

Fifi: "NEVER! I must have my revenge!"

Myrtle: "We don't have time for this. Give me the phone, and I'll pull you up." [Fifi takes one look at her phone and prepares to fall, but Myrtle keeps holding on.] "Come on! You're gonna fall!"

[Fifi grins evilly before letting go of Myrtle, laughing as she falls into the seas.]

Myrtle: "NOOOOO!!!"

Phone Voice: "THREE, TWO, ONE."

[The phone falls into the seas, but it's too late. The mountain begins to rumble as its mountaintop opens to reveal a hole for the rocket. Myrtle runs back inside the base to find the rocket already taking off. She dodges some debris falling, but then notices the plunger. Getting an idea, she scrambles up the pipes and gets on a platform before using the broken cables as vines to swing over to the rocket and using the plunger to latch on.

A Spy's Greatest Risk/Bringing Lincoln Home

(Inside, the Louds are still panicking with Lily crying.]

• Lynn Sr.: "OK, everybody! We need to conserve oxygen!" [takes a deep breath]
• Lynn: "Forget that! Suck it down!" [takes short breaths]
• Albert: "Oh, what's the point? I'm never gonna see my Myrtle again!" [Suddenly Myrtle busts a plank of metal loose from the floor and bursts through the pipes] "Myrtle!"
• [Myrtle climbs out of the hole and hugs Albert. The moment is interrupted by Lynn Sr. joining in on the hug.]
• Lynn Loud Sr.: We're saved! You brought parachutes, right?
• Myrtle: I'm sorry, Lynn. I've got nothing. I don't know if there's a way back down.
• -So that's it then....
• -We're stuck in a rocket.
• -Drifting in space.
• -Forever.
• Lincoln Loud: This is all my fault.
• Myrtle: Lincoln.
• -It is not your fault.
• Lincoln Loud: No, Fifi was right. I'm just a dumb kid playing spy. I couldn't even keep track of your rings. I've ruined the wedding and our lives, and now we're stuck up here forever because of me. (breaks down in tear, throws his bowtie on the ground and starts filling the toilet with all his David Steele stuff)
• Myrtle: (gasps when she sees the toilet and get an idea) Maybe not. Once I was on a mission to Minsk and had to escape through a toilet on a Trans-Siberian rail car. (rips the toilet off)
• Lynn Loud: Whoa. She just dead-lifted the john.
• Myrtle: We can use the septic tank as an escape pod.
• -Well, smart people, will that work?
• -Well, take this into consideration. We might have some good news and some bad news.
• -What's the good news?
• Lisa Loud: We are still in the troposphere. If we can seal off the tank we may just survive impact.

(Everyone cheers)

• -Wait a minute! You said good and bad news, didn't you?
• -Sadly, yes.
• -What's the bad news?
• Lisa: The bad news is, for this to work, someone is gonna have to close the tank from the outside.
• -Meaning?
• -Meaning one of us has to stay behind for the rest to escape.
• -Meaning someone's not coming home.
• -The question is....who is gonna be?
• Lincoln Loud: I'll do it.
• Everyone: What?!?!
• Lincoln: I got us into this mess.
• -Out of the question!
• Lincoln: It wasn't a request.
• -And this isn't a volunteer thing either.
• -If you stay, you'll be lost out there.
• -Forever.
• Lincoln: I'll find a way.
• -Don't you lie to us.
• -You'll be stranded like Dufus.
• -Never again setting your eyes on Earth again.
• -We've already lost a few friends before.
• -We are not losing you as well
• Lincoln: I have to do this. It's the only way.
• Myrtle: Absolutely not. You're all family. I'll stay behind.
• Albert: Myrtle, you're part of this family, too.
• Myrtle: No. I'm not, Al. I can't marry you.
• Everyone: Huh?
• Myrtle: I love you, Al. I love you all. But it's like I told Lincoln. The spy life has consequences. I thought I could escape my past, but it'll always be there, putting anyone I care about at risk.
• Lisa Loud: Uh, I don't want to come off as insensitive, but we got to get this show on the road.
• -She's right. We have at least 5 minutes and counting before we're out of the troposphere.
• -At the it's fading fast.
• -So, what's it to be?
• -We all stay or one stays?
• Myrtle: Go.

(Albert hugs Mytle as everyone loads into the tank)

• -Ok, Lincoln, you and Albert are the last ones left.
• Albert: I can't do this. I don't want to live a life without you.
• Myrtle: Oh, my Al. A gentleman till the end. (hugs Albert until Lincoln hugs them both)
• Lincoln: I'm so sorry. (reveals he ties them with Lori's grappling hook then activates his watch)
• Albert and Myrtle: Lincoln! (both are pulled by the force into the tank)
• -Lincoln, what are you doing?
• Lincoln Loud: Making a risk.
• -Please...
• -If you do this, you'll never come home.
• -We'll find another way.
• -Just don't do this!
• Lincoln Loud: Goodbye, everyone. (pressed the button closing the hatch)
• Albert and Myrtle: NO!!!!

(The tanks blast back to Earth as Lincoln looks at the planet one last time as he is shot higher in space)

Back on the island, Ham Hand is walking along.]

Ham Hand: "Ham Hand is invincible!"

[The sceptic tank lands on top of him. Lynn Sr. kicks out the door, and he and the others crawl out coughing. As they do, they are still horrified about Lincoln's sacrifice.]

Lynn Sr.: [frantically] "Call the Air Force! Radio NASA! Does anyone know an astronaut?!"

[Rita, heartbroken about losing her baby boy, hugs her husband and cries. Albert, Myrtle, and all the sisters tear up as well about losing their beloved Lincoln, and Myrtle cries as well. She suddenly notices one of Lincoln's discarded David Steele comic books, so she grabs it and opens it. Inside, she sees a drawing of herself and Lincoln riding the e-scooter together with "Coolest Grandma Ever" written on it. She grabs it and realizes how much Lincoln admired her, and she continues crying. But then she continues reading the comic book and realizes something.]

Myrtle: "Rita! Lynn! Kids! I have an idea! We just need to get back to the rocket console."

[Meanwhile, back at the Loud House, Mr. Grouse is sitting in the backyard, enjoying a helping of Lynn-sagna.]

Mr. Grouse: "Five layers of love." [He's already eaten eleven trays of Lynn-sagna and left them right on the platform for Lisa's laser. Unknown to him, a small antenna deploys itself and sends a signal.] "Yummy-dum-dum."

[Back inside Dufus' base, the Louds have made it to the rocket console. Lisa and Myrtle are typing commands to connect to Lisa's laser.]

Lisa: "We've established a connection with my laser, but I only see one viable satellite that can course-correct the rocket. It's moving fast, so we've only got one shot."

[The rocket blasts out of the atmosphere. Lisa finds the one viable satellite on the screen.]

Lisa: "Aha! Right there! It's the satellite! Deploying laser."

[She inputs a command that activates the laser. Back at the Loud House, the laser emerges from the ground, frightening Mr. Grouse as he drops the Lynn-sagna and runs away screaming.]

Lisa: [laughs] "Behold, the power of science."

[She hits a button and fires the laser, which blasts through the atmosphere and collides with the targeted satellite. The Louds watch with bated breath as they watch what's happening on the screen. The satellite veers towards the rocket, much to Lincoln's confusion...]

Lincoln: "Huh?"

[...before it hits the rocket, causing it to rotate around.]

Lisa: "Impact successful!

-Nice work.

-Yeah, we might have another problem.

-What other problem?

[The rocket ends up upside-down, and it fires its thrusters again, causing it to blast towards the earth)

-If the rocket doesn't slow down...

-It's gonna burn upon impact re-entering the Earth's atmosphere.

-Or Lincoln is gonna be smashed to bits when he hits the water.

-OUTSIDE NOW!!!

The Louds run out of Dufus' base and see the rocket plummet to the earth.]

Lynn Sr.: "Look! There he is!"

[Fragments of the rocket burn away from entering the atmosphere as it continues to fall.]

Lily: [panicking] "Lincoln!"

[The rocket plummets into the seas and crashes into the bottom, causing three fish to scatter. The damage to the rocket is so great, water begins to pour inside. Lincoln, who has ended up on the ceiling, wakes up to see the water flooding in.]

Albert: "That's my best man! I'm coming, little buddy!"

[He dives into the sea and swims down to the rocket. He looks into the glass and sees the tank is already flooded, with Lincoln struggling to keep his head above water. Albert braces himself on a rock and begins kicking the glass to break it. While his efforts do make some cracks in the glass, he's too late; the water has fully flooded the container, with Lincoln completely submerged and falling to the ceiling. With no choice, Albert furrows his eyebrows, takes out his hydraulic knuckles, and punches the glass.]

[Back on the shore, the Louds watch in worry]

-It's been too long.

Lucy: "I should have brought more coffins." [Luna slaps her for her insensitivity] "Ow."

-(in Smee's VO) Look!

[Just then Albert and Lincoln finally surface, and everyone cheers before running over to greet the two. Myrtle and Lynn Sr. stay behind.]

Lynn Sr.: [tearful] "How could that man ever think he's small potatoes? He's the... the biggest potato I know!"

[Myrtle hands him a napkin before he cries into it.]

A New Member of the Family

• Lincoln: "You..." [starts choking] "You--you--"
• [Lana slaps his back, causing him to spit out a fish, which Lynn catches.]
• Lynn: "Lori, think fast!"
• Lincoln Loud: Thanks, Lana. Pop-Pop you saved me.
• Albert: Aw, it was mostly Myrtle.
• Lisa Loud: It was her plan to use my laser.
• Myrtle: I couldn't have done it without David Steele and all of you.
• -Aw, thanks Myrtle.
• -But seriously Lincoln, are you out of your mind!?!
• -You risked your own life to save all of us!
• -Even though there was a million percent chance we would never see you again.
• -It was arrogant.
• -It was reckless.
• -And......it was the most selfless thing you have ever done.
• -In a way, the bad guys were right.
• -In the spy world, everything comes at a price.
• -But they forgot the one benefit of having a family....
• -That also part spy at the time.
• -No one gets left behind.
• -Or forgotten.
• Lisa: No one in this family goes at it all alone, big brother.
• Skipper: Yes, sir. You are the most meaningful and valued member of this team.
• -Aw, family group hug!

(Everyone hugged around Lincoln while Myrtle slowly walks away)

• -Hey, Myrtle!
• -Where you do think your going?
• -We can't have a family hug without the whole family.
• Lincoln: Get in here.
• Myrtle: Really? Even after all of this?
• -Oh come on.
• -You think this hasn't been the first time this family has been in danger.
• -You should have seen us fighting a mind-controlled dragon in Scotland.
• Lincoln Loud: You heard Lisa. This family always sticks together, even if a super villain and her army of henchmen are after us.
• -(in Verne VO) Yeah, that's what families do. They look out for each other.
• -Now we know that spies sometimes like to do it solo.
• -But sometimes having someone to always have your back makes someone a better spy,
• -Like having a family to back you up.
• Myrtle: I've never had anything like that.
• -(in Verne VO) I know. But believe me, this... This is the gateway to the good life.
• -And with this one, you'll never be lonely again.
• Myrtle: Really wished I remember that sooner.
• -(in Verne VO) Yeah, well that's bad communication, also something that families do.
• -(in Verne VO) So, what do you say? You wanna still be a part of it?
• Myrtle: Maybe I can have a family.
• Albert: Does that mean--?
• Myrtle: (hold Albert's hand) Let's get married, Al!

(Everyone cheers. A few moments later, as Myrtle finishes getting ready)

• Lincoln: Uh, knock, knock. (walks in with his eyes covered) You wanted to see me? I'm not looking I promise. (trips over stool)
• Myrtle: Lincoln, that wedding superstition only applies to the groom. I just want to say, you were brave to step up for your family like that. I'm so proud I get to be your Gran-Gran.
• Lincoln: Oh, I almost forgot. (pulls out a clam revealing two rings) These are for you. I'm sorry they're not the original rings. They're made out of bamboo
• Myrtle: Oh, thank you. These are beautiful. Where'd you get them?
• Lincoln: You'd be amazed what a David Steele watch is worth on this island.
• Myrtle: But Lincoln, it's a collectible.
• Lincoln: I know, but someone once told me that there's more to spy life than fancy gadgets, and I think I'm starting to understand what they meant.
• Myrtle: Come here. (hugs Lincoln) Just don't go jumping into any more rockets again without me.
• -Ms. Myrtle, it's time.

(The scene changes to the wedding at the beach as the sun sets)

• -Do you, Albert Reynolds, take Myrtle to be your lawfully wedded wife; in sickness and in health...
• -And when the spy game comes knocking again, will you always have her back?
• Albert: I do.
• -And do you Myrtle, accept this mission to take Albert Reynolds as your lawfully wedded husband?
• -In turn, preparing you for greatest mission any former spy could ever accomplish: Being part of a loving, caring,....and loud family?
• Myrtle: I do. Loudness and all.
• Flop: And now I, Willie of Willie's Weddings and Wakes, pronounce you, Al, and you, Myrtle, married.
• Albert: Psst, the rings. I knew we could count on you. (winks and then puts rings on both of each others hand)
• -You may now kiss the bride.
• Albert: I love you Mrytle dove.
• Myrtle: Oh, Al. (kisses him making her now....Myrtle Loud)

(Everyone cheers)

• Lisa: Come on, Gran-Gran.

(Luna strums up and plays her ukulele)

• -Ok, all you single ladies out there. It's time for the bride to throw the wedding bouquet.
• Lynn: (readying Lori) It's bouquet time, baby. Here, use this shrimp as a mouth guard. It could get ugly out there.

(Myrtle throws the bouquet in the air and Lori chases after it)

• Lynn: Use your body, Lori!
• Lori: (pushes someone down) Out of my way. (catches it) Yes! (laughs) I caught it.
• Myrtle Loud: X, you came.
• Lori Loud: Uh, who's X?
• Myrtle Loud: My boss.
• Piglet: Oh dear.
• Tigger: Uh oh.
• X: Nice catch, blondie.
• -Sorry about her.
• -She been getting training from her little sister.
• -Who can be a little....aggressive.
• X: It's fine, but if she ever tackle me again, I'll make Bobby Boo Boo Bear disappear and have it look like an accident.

(Later that night)

Luna:

♫ Hold you close in my heart ♫

♫ Even when we're far apart ♫

[That night, a party occurs. As Luna provides musical accompaniment, Albert and Myrtle tear it up on the dance floor as the others dance on the sidelines. Lucy, Lori, and Lynn dance separately as the twins share a slow dance together. Lynn Sr. and Rita cheer the newlywed couple on, with Lynn Sr. wearing a baby harness with Lily inside.]

♫ Where I go, you'll always follow ♫

♫ No need to worry 'bout tomorrow ♫

♫ If I fall, you'll always catch me ♫

♫ We're one Loud House family ♫

[As Lisa watches, Luan and Leni cheer on a breakdancing Todd.]

Leni and Luan: "GO! GO! GO! GO!"

[The celebrations continue. Albert continues to dance with Myrtle, dipping her. Lisa and Leni move their shoulders to the rhythm as Owen, still in the Myrtle disguise, joins in on the festivities.]

Luna:

♫ Where I go, you'll always follow ♫

♫ No need to worry 'bout tomorrow ♫

♫ If I fall, you'll always catch me ♫

♫ We're one Loud House family! ♫

• -Well, well, nice work Mr. Loud.
• -Yeah, this has been one unexpected weddings I've been too.
• -Yep, we went on a real spy adventure, had a dune buggy chase, stop a real spy supervillain.
• -And you have a new grandmother to be part of your family.
• Lincoln: Yeah. She's the best.
• -Still though, really wished we would've caught Fifi though.
• -Ah, don't worry. I'm sure she'll pop up again.
• -And we'll be ready for her.
• Flop: Me and Ceviche were out diving for buried treasure when found these two clowns. (points to Fifi Dufus and Ham Hand tied up to Flop's cart) Consider it a wedding gift.
• -Then again.
• Ham Hand: (crying) Wedding always get me.
• Fifi Dufus: Knock it off with the waterworks, you muscle head. You're leaking on me. (both of them then falls backwards in pain)
• Flop: Boy they're going away for a long time. (eats cake)
• -Aw, it's lovely, officer.
• -We'll have someone pick them up tomorrow to bring them to the mainland.
• Flop: Oh, by the way, thanks for the fancy new watch. Got a lot of buttons
• Lincoln: Just take good care of it. It's a collectible
• Flop: Collectible? Consider it sold.
• Myrtle Loud: Hey, everyone, let's get a photo with my new family

(Everyone get into position)

• Flop: All right. Let's see some big smiles
• [As everyone smiles, Myrtle takes the time to congratulate Lincoln.]
• Myrtle: Mission accomplished, Lincoln.
• Lincoln Loud: Mission accomplished, Gran-Gran.

Bonus Ending: Bowser punishes Fifi for her failures

• Bowser: (angrily circling around Fifi) You ruined our entire mission by acting prematurely. You scrambled our troops because of your cocky arrogance. You refused to follow my orders to assassinate the 100 Acre Wood Rebel Alliance. When you failed, you didn't bother to target Pooh and his friends, the only annoying bunch of pests, who were supposed to die! And then, to top it all off, you decided to settle your own personal differences with your old enemy, Myrtle, a retired spy who launched your husband up into outer space?!
• Mistress 9: Bowser, she launched the Louds in a rocket ship.
• Bowser: Quiet! She's an embarrassment! An absolute failure of a villain! I've wasted so much of my time thinking she had half a chance to live up to our expectations! Our biggest mistake was recruiting her!! She's been nothing but a liability from the start! I have no use for you, Fifi! You've proven your worth!
• Fifi Dufus: Master...
• Bowser: Don't you dare call me that! You are no servant of mine! And you never had been! You're a mistake! Just like your wretched husband! Mistakes like her deserved to be corrected, hmm?! Your lonely marriage will forever be a reminder of what happens when I don't get what I want!