This is the transcript of Shadow, Sunny and Hank's Adventures of Wish.
Patchy and Potty's Opening[]
[The scene pans over Encino California]
French Narrator: And now, direct from Encino, America's favorite pirate and president of the SpongeBob SquarePants Fan Club: Patchy the Pirate.
[the exterior of Patchy's house is shown. The name "Patchy" appears. Inside, Patchy is wrapping presents]
Patchy: [to the tune "Jingle Bells"] Yo ho ho, yo ho ho, yo ho ho ho ho. [notices he's on air] Oh! Hi! [waves] I didn't see ya there. Welcome to the first ever Shadow, Sunny and Hank's Christmas Movie! [notices a long piece of confetti on his hook and tries to shake it off. He pulls on it and whacks himself in the eye, giving him a black eye. He switches his patch over to the other eye] Hey, that's better!
[Potty flies in]
Potty: [Squawk] Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
Patchy: That's right, Potty! It is Christmas. [he limps over to the fireplace] And there ain't nothing better in the multiverse than a crossover Christmas. It sure is a magical time of year. [he blows on his pipe, and bubbles emerge] Why, I'll bet Shadow, Sunny and Hank are gearing up for Santa Claus right now!
[He picks up a picture of Shadow. Cuts to Shadow who is unaware of what his friends are doing]
Shadow: Look, I don't have anything against Christmas. But there's always more things more important than decorating for... [Misty, Mucus and Slyther pressed three buttons. A large chimney rises from the ground next to his house, and a gigantic funnel pops out of it with the words "Welcome Santa" in neon letters as Sunny and Hank appear beside him] (sighs) Christmas.
Patchy: (laughs) Not bad for a creature with no vertebrae. [He puts down Shadow, Sunny and Hank's picture] And I bet our old pal, Sonic and his friends are doing their share of decoration.
[He picks up a picture of Sonic and his friends. Cuts to the freedom fighters standing by their house each with a confused face]
Sonic: What? No one told me we're supposed to decorate today.
Tails: I thought I shared my reminders to you guys.
[The Freedom Fighters started arguing on what they're all talking about. Now, Patchy is mixing cookie dough]
Patchy: I too am also preparing for Christmas. [he lifts up the mixer] Hmm, unbaked cookie dough! [he takes a lick] Mmm...
Potty: [squawks] Potty want cookie dough! [Potty flies over, squawking] Cookie!
[Patchy ducks]
Patchy: Potty! No!
[Potty flies back and forth]
Potty: Cookie! [squawks]
Patchy: Get out of here!
Potty: Cookie!
Patchy: Potty!
Potty: [squawks] Give us a lick!
Patchy: Back off, you flying freak!
[Potty flies on the counter]
Potty: [squawks] Clarify please.
[the cookies are shaped like SpongeBob and Patrick]
Patchy: This here cookie dough is for the children, not for pesky parrots. [Cuts to Hans reaching over and ringing a bell. Patchy looks out the window] What's that? Three bells! Well, we all know what three bells means!
Children: [off-screen] Free ice cream!
Patchy: No, you silly livers. [sternly] No!
Potty: [squawks] Man overboard?
[Patchy walks over to a desk]
Patchy: You, I'm ignoring. [he sits down] No, it's time to open fan letters!
[Potty flies over with a letter in his beak]
Potty: [squawks] Here you go!
[Patchy tugs at it]
Patchy: Thank you, Potty. [Potty is not letting go] Yeah. Okay Potty, thank you! [Potty squawks, still not letting go] Come on, give it, you birdbrain! [Potty squawks some more] Quiet, infernal bird! [He uses his hook, now with a pair of scissors on the end, to snip Potty's strings. Potty squawks and falls to the ground. Patchy nods] Hmm. [he sits back down] This letter comes to us from...
Fish Head: [as voiceover] Name and address withheld!
[Patchy tears the envelope open, pieces of it flying all over. He pulls up his eye patch and replaces it with a pair of reading glasses with one eye covered up]
Patchy: And he writes, "Dear Shadow, Sunny and Hank, I am ten years old, and I was wondering if you like Christmas as much as I do. Sincerely yours..."
Fish Head: [as voiceover] Name and address withheld!
[Patchy gets up and takes off his glasses. Now his eye patch is back on]
Patchy: A very good question. But you know Christmas is not just about love.
Potty: [squawks] It doesn't?
Patchy: No sir, my fine feathered little neck pain. [He pulls down Potty's strings. Potty falls to the ground, and a puppeteer falls down from above the set. Patchy hangs a homemade SpongeBob ornament on a Christmas tree. Zooms out, showing the entire tree, which is decorated with many similar SpongeBob, as well as ornaments featuring Patrick and Squidward, and a few gift boxes] There was a time when Shadow and the Knight Protectors met a real magic star. [he snaps his fingers] Hey! Who wants to hear the story of Shadow, Sunny and Hank in a kingdom of magic wishes? [Cuts to Potty, who looks very drowsy and with bloodshot eyes. Patchy turns around] Potty? [Patchy sees an empty bowl of cookie dough, accompanied by a foghorn noise] You ate all me cookie dough!
[Potty is now incredibly fat. Potty's body and strings fall off, leaving only the bird's head]
Potty: Squ-ouch!
Patchy: (shrugs) Oh, well, on with the show!
Team Sonic meets Poppy and her Friends[]
Sonic
Anga:
Knuckles:
Luigi:
Donkey Kong:
Tangle:
Lunella:
Whisper:
Poppy:
Barb:
Silver:
Barb:
Silver and Barb: You sound like me!
Lunella:
Fuli:
Barb:
Silver:
Barb: (in Elaris' voice)
(???)
Mario:
Unit:
Cosmo:
Donkey Kong:
Branch:
???[]
???[]
At All Costs[]
???[]
This Wish[]
I'm a Star[]
Shadow: Okay, I'm starting to lose you.
Squirrel: (sighs) Let's just try this another way.
???[]
???[]
This is The Thanks I Get?![]
Saba's Wish[]
???[]
Knowing What I Know Now[]
Final Battle against Magnifico, Mephiles and Bowser/This Wish (reprise)[]
(???)
Love Live Queen Amaya![]
Ending/Better Place[]
Shadow: It some kind of love
It's some kind of fire
Sunny: I'm already up
But you lift me higher
Hank: You know I'm not wrong
You know I'm not lying
Shadow: We do it better
Shadow, Sunny, Hank and Sonic: We do it better, Yeah
And I don't mind if the world spins faster
The music's louder, The waves get stronger
I don't mind if the world spins faster, faster, faster
Just let me take ya to a Better Place
I'm gonna make kiss the sky tonight
Yeah if you let me show the way
I'm so excited to see you excited
Tails, Knuckles, Chuck, Bomb and Leonard: I'll take ya to a Better Place Yoo-hoo!
Amy, Sticks, Fuli and Moon Girl: I'll take you to a Better Place
Kion, Rani and Bunga: And baby you can love me on the way
The Bad Guys and Diane: We're flying up to Outer Space
Shadow, Sonic, Sunny, Hank, Rouge and Omega: I'm so excited to see you excited Yeah
Knight Protectors and Freedom Fighters: I don't mind if the world spins faster
The music's louder
The waves get stronger
I don't mind if the world spins faster, faster, faster, faster... JUST LET ME TAKE YOU TO A BETTER PLACE!
(the song ends with the movie title "Shadow, Sunny and Hank's Adventures of Wish")
(???)
Lumalee: Now that's a happy ending. Or is it? Because everything's over now. And all that's left is you and invited void. Kinda makes you wanna play saxophone, huh?
Patchy and Potty's Closing[]
[back at Patchy's house, a sailboat with a homemade SpongeBob and Patrick moves in front of a picture of the island, which has a bunch of presents on it]
Patchy: Dee dee, dee dee dee dee.
SpongeBob: (as a puppet) Ahoy, Patrick! It's Christmas Island!
Patrick: (as a puppet) Presents, ahoy!
SpongeBob: (as a puppet) [Patchy starts making storm sound effects] Uh-oh, a storm!
Patrick: (as a puppet) Yay! I mean yikes!
Patchy: [makes more sound effects and begins speaking in his own voice] Oh, we're going down! [He keeps making noises. Zoom out to show the boat is on Patchy's head] Trim the sails! Hoist the yardarms! Turn on the Weather Channel! (screams)
Man on set: (offscreen) Patchy!
Patchy: Oh, hi kids. Boy, that SpongeBob makes me as jolly as a roger. Well, I hope you enjoyed the Knight Protectors' Christmas tale. And I hope your Christmas is better than sunken treasure. [He takes the boat off his head. Potty flies out, and there is a nest underneath him. In it are a few eggs he laid, wrapped in bows. Patchy picks one up] Aw... Potty left me a little Christmas present. [He laughs. Then he goes over to the mistletoe] Argh, ye old mistletoe. And you know what that means. [he sprays breath freshener in his mouth] Ah, time for somebody to kiss Patchy the Pirate! [he makes kissing noises] Come on, who's it gonna be? Come on! Kiss the captain!
[He laughs. Potty flies over and squawks. Patchy screams]
Potty: Give us a kiss!
[Patchy goes to avoid him]
Patchy: No! No, not you! [Potty keeps flying around squawking] No, not you, Potty! Get out of here! No, Potty! I don't wanna kiss you! No, we talked about this. Potty! No!
Potty: Kissy, kissy!
French Narrator: Well, it looks like Patchy's pretty busy at the moment, so I'll say it for him. Good night and happy holidays.
[The words "Happy Holidays" are spelled out on the screen]
End Credits[]
Bowser: Asha, Shadow, Sunny, Hank and a Kraken too, A thousand troops of Koopas couldn't keep me from you. Princess Peach, at the end of the line, I'll make you mine, oh. Peaches, Peaches, Peaches, Peaches, Peaches, Peaches, Peaches, Peaches, Peaches, Peaches. I love you, oh-
Guard Toad:
(???)
Bowser: Hey! Do you know who I am!? I'm Bow...
(???)