Tabbyverse Eve Sarajevo/Transcript

Here is the transcript for Tabbyverse Eve Sarajevo.

(The episode begins inside The Prosecutor's universe. She is up in the imperial box, hiding in a corner.)

• The Prosecutor: (muttering while sounding like she's about to cry) It's okay, it's okay... He's not going to find me... I'm safe... I'm strong now. Stronger than him... He can't hurt me anymore. I'm stronger and braver than I used to be. I'm safe... He won't find and hurt me... I'll be okay... I-I'm okay.
• The Second Wielder: Are you alright?

(She yelps in fear as her hair becomes consumed by many yellow eyes. However, when she sees it's The Second Wielder, they disappear.)

• The Prosecutor: Sorry... I didn't see you.
• The Second Wielder: That is alright.
• The Prosecutor: Tomorrow's my birthday... I don't want my father to find and hurt me. Every year on it... H-He... (starts crying) He would hurt me... I-I don't know why he did... O-Or even everything he did to me. I-I just know it's a scary time for me... I don't want to go through it again...
• The Second Wielder: What should we do today? Tomorrow is Christmas after all, but you hate it. Wait! I know! We can kill Santa and Santa Big!

(She gains eyes all over her hair again.)

• The Prosecutor: (growls) Santa Big.
• The Second Wielder: Just imagine their fear in their eyes as they realize they are at your mercy.
• The Prosecutor: And imagine how the Tabbyverse and multiverse will be without them to bring joy to it. (forms a weak smile) That's just wonderful.
• The Second Wielder: But how do we kidnap them and kill them?
• The Prosecutor: That'll be so easy!

(The Prosecutor shoots up into the air and looks down. She sees the other Dark Tabbyverse Gods sitting down, looking as though they're waiting or expecting something.)

• Eternalshin: What's the plan?
• The Prosecutor: I'm glad you asked!

(She suddenly teleports onto Valvajin's shoulder.)

• The Prosecutor: I'm sure all of you are aware tomorrow's Christmas. "The most wonderful time of year" and all that junk. Tell me boys, do we enjoy seeing mortals all happy and living life to the fullest?
• The Dark Tabbyverse Gods: No!
• The Prosecutor: (giggles) Exactly what I want to hear. You're in luck because we're going to kill Santa Claus and Santa Big!
• Jyamashi: Wait, WHAT?!
• The Prosecutor: Your ears aren't deceiving you. We will kill them! Or rather, our big friend SW will do the job. We just need to capture them!
• Eternalshin: But why?! We can just take the presents instead! I am not killing Santa!

(The Prosecutor suddenly teleports onto Eternalshin's shoulder.)

• The Prosecutor: Looks you need some convincing.
• Eternalshin: No, I don't! Don't you know the consequences of killing holiday figures are?!
• The Prosecutor: Yes, I do. (giggles) Let me counter with this: There are many universes that didn't or currently don't celebrate holidays anymore. Often because of our handywork. Do you really think Santa Big delivering presents to Caliber's children would've made a difference in their survival? That's one just example righhhhht off the top of my head!
• Eternalshin: Dorado made me do it! I didn't want to go into that place in the first place!
• The Prosecutor: How about this? We kidnap and harm them to the point they can't perform their roles anymore? They won't die, but they'll wish they did!
• Eternalshin: No.
• The Prosecutor: Ah, well. You don't have to participate. In fact, let's see who actually wants to join. Say "I" if you want to join me!
• Valvajin: I!
• The Second Wielder: I!
• Zeinshin: I!
• The Prosecutor: Anyone else in favor of joining me?
• Eternalshin, Orgashin, Regadshin, Kivashin, and Jyamashi: No.
• The Prosecutor: Alright, then. No problem! Feel free to leave and do whatever you want in the meantime. (to the gods that said "I") Before we go, I would like to pay some dear friends a little visit. It won't be for long.

(With the snap of her fingers, she and the gods that joined her end up in Stomach Inc. Unlike the other times The Prosecutor has visited, no one is in sight.)

• The Prosecutor: It's usually bustling with life around life around here. Huh.

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(Santa's sleigh enters The Prosecutor's universe with Morrigan, Phineas, and Ferb inside. She takes a step out of it before collapsing onto the ground from exhaustion. The boys remain in it, staying out of sight.)

• Morrigan "Kitty" Meows: I did it. I delivered all 10 billion presents! Can I go to bed now?
• The Prosecutor: (sighs) Looks like Zeinshin wasn't enough to stop you. How sad.
• Morrigan "Kitty" Meows: I had to drink five expressos just to stay awake for that!
• The Prosecutor: How sad! Allow me to shed some tears for you!
• Morrigan "Kitty" Meows: I'm going to bed. See ya.

(Morrigan tries to walk out but The Prosecutor stops her.)

• The Prosecutor: You aren't leaving here, Dearie! Sorry!

(She drops a cage down onto Morrigan, trapping her.)

• Morrigan "Kitty" Meows: You've already tormented me enough about my past. What else is there left?!

(The Prosecutor sits on top of the cage. At the same time, it rapidly rises up into the air. Although a good distance away from her, Morrigan can see Santa Claus and Santa Big in cages like hers.)

• Morrigan "Kitty" Meows: Why are these cages so small?
• The Prosecutor: Prisoners don't deserve a lot of space. Plus, I like the look of tiny cages! They have a lot of charm!
• Morrigan "Kitty" Meows: I have claustrophobia.
• The Prosecutor: (giggles) I know.

(The Second Wielder growls.)

• Morrigan "Kitty" Meows: What's he doing here?
• The Prosecutor: Good to see you haven't forgotten him!
• Morrigan "Kitty" Meows: Why does he look more purple now?
• The Prosecutor: I suppose I had a part in that.
• Morrigan "Kitty" Meows: Did you give him a makeover?
• The Prosecutor: Ding, ding, ding! You're correct! Red is such an icky color! It reminds me of blood... (shivers) I hate it!
• Morrigan "Kitty" Meows: So, if I end up accidentally poking myself and blood flows out, you will pass out?
• The Prosecutor: Good thing I made it so that no one can bleed in my universe now! Out of sight, out of mind!

(The Second Wielder suddenly grows in height, going from 20 to a thousand feet tall. His snake-like tongue lunges out of his mouth and wraps around the cage.)

• Morrigan "Kitty" Meows: You don’t have plot armor, you can’t win!
• The Prosecutor: We'll see about that!

(The Second Wielder pulls the cage close to his mouth.)

• Morrigan "Kitty" Meows: Where’s Marina?
• The Prosecutor: No use in worrying about her!
• Morrigan "Kitty" Meows: What did you do with her?!
• The Prosecutor: Nothing yet! She and her dear old dad are still looking for both Santas!

(Meanwhile, a Brainwashed CEO pinned down Marina and was preparing to shoot her with his robotic rifle arm. Rather than trying to resist his attack, all she can do is hysterically cry. An angelic figure then appears between Marina and The CEO. It was Rowan.)

• Rowan Cullen: Sweetheart! Are you hurt?

(The CEO tries to attack him by firing several laser blasts from the rifle. However, Rowan uses one of his wings to block the attacks.)

• The CEO: Out of my way!
• Rowan Cullen: There's something wrong with you. Let me help!

(Rowan flashes golden light into The CEO's eyes, instantly disrupting the mind-controlled state he was in.)

• The CEO: Hey! I need my eyes, dude!
• Marina "Dusk" Cullen: (sniffling) Dad? Papa?
• The CEO: How did my arm turn into a gun?
• Rowan Cullen: It was an angel's doing. I can sense the energy from it. At the same time, it's...not? I don't know exactly.
• The CEO: I know where the Santas are at!
• Marina "Dusk" Cullen: Where are they?... And how do you even know?
• The CEO: The Prosecutor’s universe. When she brainwashed me, it gave me her location.
• Marina "Dusk" Cullen: No! They're doomed! They're going to die there!
• The CEO: That’s why I got Rowan before I was completely brainwashed.
• Marina "Dusk" Cullen: I don't want to go back there!
• The CEO: Marina, I have a robotic arm that can turn into a rifle!
• Marina "Dusk" Cullen: And you'll lose it as soon as you go there... She controls everything about it, including powers...
• Rowan Cullen: It's okay, sweetheart. I can get the gods to help us.
• The CEO: Rowan, you’re the only one that isn’t banished from there. Not even Tabmajin can enter.
• Rowan Cullen: ...What? That can't be possible.
• The CEO: She’s a goddess with generator powers.
• The Prosecutor: (offscreen) You know, it's very rude to talk about someone as if they aren't there!
• The CEO: Oh, shut up!

(Despite looking ready to start conflict, she briefly and frantically glances everywhere around her.)

• The CEO: By the way, thanks for the upgrade! (Points his robotic rifle arm at her)
• The Prosecutor: Let's see if you keep it!

(Suddenly, everyone is brought into The Prosecutor's universe. While Marina hides her face in Rowan's chest out of fear, The CEO loses the rifle arm.)

• Rowan Cullen: Is that...The Second Wielder?

(He just finished gulping down Morrigan and the cage she's in.)

• The CEO: That thing needs to go on a diet!
• The Prosecutor: I don't think you can judge him when you're with him! (points at Rowan) He needs one more than my friend!
• The CEO: Listen here, you little punk! You do not bully my family when I am around. He may have married my ex-wife but he’s family. You mess with my family, and I’ll get my entire army to tear you down piece by piece!
• The Prosecutor: There's someone else who would love to tear someone to pieces! (to The Second Wielder) Tell me, buddy. Was Morrigan and that cage filling enough for you?
• The Second Wielder: No. My hunger never ceases.
• The Prosecutor: Good to know! Feel free to have more snacks!
• The CEO: Uh, oh.

(The Second Wielder licks his lips and drools a bit.)

• The Prosecutor: Awww, look at him! He really IS hungry! Be a good boy and eat them for me! I would like a word with our prisoners!
• The CEO: I vote we take him down.
• Marina "Dusk" Cullen: (muffled because her head is up against Rowan) Papa... I don't want to be here. I want to go home.
• The CEO: Are Phineas and Ferb still available?

(The Second Wielder's tongue tries to grab Rowan and Marina. Phineas and Ferb jump out of the sleigh with some tools and see The Second Wielder.)

• Phineas Flynn: Ferb, we are going to need longer Christmas lights and maybe that Batkingrobo mech Morrigan kept.

(Meanwhile, The Prosecutor was over at the cages where Santa Claus and Santa Big are kept in.)

• The Prosecutor: Well, well, well. It's almost the end of the road for the both of you! Hope you've already come to terms with it.
• Santa Big: Don't do this! You'll ruin christmas forever!
• The Prosecutor: Not a big deal for me. (scowls) Holidays mean nothing when you never had the chance to celebrate them.

(The Second Wielder laughs as he is about to capture Marina, Rowan, and The CEO when something was heard approaching at full speed.)

• Phineas Flynn (Offscreen): INCOMING!

(The Second Wielder was punched in the gut by the Batkingrobo mech that was piloted by Phineas Flynn, causing him to spit Morrigan out.)

• The Prosecutor: He'll be fine. (turns her attention back to Santa Big) Christmas is the worst! The absolute worst! I hate it!

(Phineas punches The Prosecutor into a wall using the mech.)

• Phineas Flynn: Christmas is a time of joy and family unlike you who is very angry and lonely.
• The Prosecutor: "Joy and family..." So funny. You're very spoiled if you've experienced those things before.
• Phineas Flynn: You're the one who hides all the time and never actually does physical fighting. You know what you are? A coward. Behind that big ego of yours is a little girl who is too afraid to do physical fighting.
• The Prosecutor: (growls) What did you just say about me?
• Phineas Flynn: You heard me! You're a coward! Behind the mask of your prosecutions and ego is a little girl who is broken. You don't have to be this way and hide your true feelings. Let me help you!

(She looks at him a moment before she breaks into a fit of laughter. It doesn't sound particularly happy but rather like she's about to have a breakdown.)

• Phineas Flynn: Oops.
• Morrigan "Kitty" Meows: Welp. Looks like we broke her.

(Many eyes cover her hair as she keeps laughing.)

• The Prosecutor: (laughing) You...You think you have me figured out?
• Phineas Flynn: Well, no. There's no manual or book about you yet unless they sold out.
• The Prosecutor: Hah... You know NOTHING about me! Don't even pretend you can see who I once was!
• Phineas Flynn: I can tell that you're broken. Your ego is very large. I managed to figure out The CEO's backstory based on his ego.
• The Prosecutor: May I introduce someone who's caused me a decent amount of misery? The answer's about to be right under my feet.

(She flies out of the hole impression she was punched into and lands on top of Santa Big's cage.)

• Phineas Flynn: Santa Big? What did he do to you?
• The Prosecutor: (growls) He played a sick joke on me...
• Phineas Flynn: Maybe it wasn't his fault and was the fault of someone else.
• The Prosecutor: Come on, Santa Big. Why don't you speak up right now?
• Santa Big: I couldn't do much back then! That Colbert guy banished me and made sure that I couldn't enter your universe! I couldn't do much about it!
• The Prosecutor: It's always the same excuse! Windjin used it! You used it! It's always the same! Do you really think I'll accept that as an answer?!
• Phineas Flynn: Who's Colbert?
• Morrigan "Kitty" Meows: Isn't he the creepy old dude with the magic staff who escaped the spirit realm?
• The Prosecutor: Everything would've been fine if Cedric didn't immediately bring him back after dying again!
• The CEO: Don't blame me! It was one of my idiotic goons!
• The Prosecutor: I don't care who did it! The fact that it was done in the FIRST PLACE is all that matters.
• Phineas Flynn: Whoever this Colbert dude is has done some serious damage.
• The Prosecutor: He...He's my father.
• Phineas Flynn: You need therapy badly now.
• The Prosecutor: And you can partially blame dear old Santa Big for that.
• Phineas Flynn: No. You need it because of your father.
• The Prosecutor: You don't care about me. Don't even pretend you do! If anyone did, we wouldn't be here right now!
• Santa Big: I care for you. I even have the presents I still owe you for a very long time. I heard your cries and wanted to help... but he wouldn't allow it.

(The scene changes to a flashback. Santa Big and Colbert, who does not have his wings/tendrils out and is wearing the same crown The Prosecutor currently has, are sitting in a dining room area having a conversation.)

• Santa Big: Let me deliver the presents she deserves! Don't you know how long I've been waiting to deliver them? 5 years!

(Rather than give a response, Colbert gives him a cold, uninterested glare. At the same time, a much younger version of The Prosecutor with only two eyes came into the dining room looking for food. Upon hearing them, she quickly and quietly hides in an empty cabinet.)

• Santa Big: You’re the only one who has a problem with me delivering presents! No wonder I placed you on the naughty list!
• Astraia: (to herself; whispering) Woah. A present sounds cool. I wonder what they are!
• Colbert: (bored) It's a cruel world. Gifting children presents gives them unrealistic expectations for the world. As though you can have anything you want. It's a simple truth around here. It makes them soft and unable to handle challenges.
• Santa Big: You just don’t know what joy is. Where is she? I still need to deliver the presents.
• Colbert: (laughs softly) You won't be finding her any time soon.
• Santa Big: Just let me see her.
• Astraia: (still whispering) Oh, no. Is a "present" a bad thing? Does that man want to hurt me just like father?...
• Santa Big: (To Colbert) You don’t even know what a present is! It’s a gift of joy!
• Colbert: Joy is but a fleeting emotion in my world. It never lasts long before it's crushed and replaced with suffering and hopelessness.
• Santa Big: This world doesn’t belong to crooks like you. You should be banished.

(While trying to make herself more comfortable, Astraia accidentally hits her foot up against the door. Although it didn't knock it open, it was loud enough to get Santa Big's attention.)

• Santa Big: Astraia? You can come out. I won’t hurt you. I just want to give you some toys.
• Astraia: What's a toy?
• Santa Big: They're a lot of things. They will keep you company when you're bored, scared, or sad. I got you something that you’ll really like. I prom-

(Before he could finish his sentence, Santa Big is grabbed by a black tendril.)

• Santa Big: What is the meaning of this?!
• Colbert: (chuckles) You're forgetting something. I'm the god of corruption, and this is my world. I'll gladly remove any part of it I don't see fit. You are something that doesn't belong here.
• Santa Big: You can’t banish me! How else is everyone supposed to celebrate Christmas?!
• Colbert: It's very simple. It will be like every other holiday here: It won't be celebrated anymore.

(A beam of light comes out from his crown and blasts Santa Big. In an instant, he is gone. Right after it, Astraia emerges from the cabinet.)

• Astraia: What did you get me?
• Colbert: (smirks) Nothing, Astraia. Do you really think a murderer like you deserves anything?

(Colbert grabs her with his tentacle. As she starts screaming, the flashback ends.)

• Phineas Flynn: That’s actually really sad. Would you like some toys?
• The Prosecutor: (laughs bitterly) It's far too late for any presents. (to Santa Big) I waited many years for you to come back... You never did. I never knew why...
• Santa Big: He banished me from your universe that day, and I couldn’t come back.

(From underneath her sunglasses, four drops of what looks to be tears fall down her cheeks.)

• Phineas Flynn: That’s awful. Whoever Colbert is needs to be banished forever.

(The Prosecutor goes into another fit of laughter as more tears come down. The Second Wielder, who had been napping, gets up and growls.)

• The Prosecutor: Kill them, Second Wielder. Kill every last one of them! Start with the Santas! I don't care what you have to do! Just make sure they don't get to live another second!
• Phineas Flynn: I still have the mech! I can pilot it to defeat him unless someone else wants to control it.
• The Second Wielder: That mechanical shell you pilot looks absolutely delicious.

(The Second Wielder's tongue and mouth tendrils lunge at it.)

• Phineas Flynn: That’s nasty! What do you even eat?! Raw chicken?!

(They grab on the mech and try to pull it apart. At the same time, The Prosecutor summons her angelic wings and plucks a feather off. After waiting for a second for it to transform into a spear, she slashes at the chain holding the cages up, sending them plummeting down a thousand feet. Rowan transforms into a new form and saves Santa and Santa Big by using his wings to slice the bars open and grabbing them by their shirts. He then teleports onto the ground and sets them down. Rather than just having wings, he now has three extra eyes, two on his left cheek and one on the right. His ears changed to resemble a set of wings, and his head has two fox ear-like horns which end with six feathers each.)

• Phineas Flynn: We could use a hand here, Rowan!

(Rowan tries to fly up, but he is intercepted by The Prosecutor, who is in her angelic form minus the wings. She tries slashing at his wings with her spear.)

• Morrigan "Kitty" Meows: Have I had too many expressos or is Rowan an angel?
• Marina "Dusk" Cullen: I guess Papa is one!
• Morrigan "Kitty" Meows: Looks like I ain't seeing things.

(Rowan moves his wings out of the way from her attack. The Prosecutor then retaliates with an eye beam from her neck.)

• Phineas Flynn: Does anyone have the Christmas lights down there?

(The Second Wielder's tongue rips a piece of the mech, exposing everyone inside.)

• Phineas Flynn: You owe us a million bucks! Don't you know how expensive it was to put this together?
• The Second Wielder: What delicious-looking morsels!
• Phineas Flynn: We could really use those Christmas lights now!

(Meanwhile, The Prosecutor and Rowan were still battling. She summons her angelic wings, and they surround him. Then, they quickly close in around his sides, the teeth-like feathers clamping down on him. Rowan screams in pain as they sink deeper into his body.)

• Marina "Dusk" Cullen: Papa!
• Phineas Flynn: Hey, Rowan. Catch! (Throws some Christmas lights for him to use)
• The Prosecutor: They're very pretty.

(With the snap of her fingers, the lights are surrounded by golden light and disintegrate.)

• Phineas Flynn: Well. There goes using that later.

(Her wings let go of Rowan and retract back into her. Although he has several holes bitten into him, no blood comes out the wounds.)

• Rowan Cullen: (in pain) You...You aren't a full angel, are you? None I've ever seen or heard about have wings like yours...
• The Prosecutor: (growls) You better watch what you say next!
• Rowan Cullen: All I want to is this... Was your mother a human?