This is the transcript to The Disney Junior Gang's Adventures of Jonah: A VeggieTales Movie.
Preview Before the Opening[]
Brian Cummings: For more fun and laughter, join us after the feature for a special program: Kids' 100 Best Disney Junior Jokes. Then, be sure to catch Cleopatra performing 'Right Back Where We Started From', one of the cool songs on the new Disney Junior album, 'A Disney Junior Dance Party'.
Opening[]
- [spoken] Special alert! Special alert!
- Meet the Disney Junior gang
- The team like Pooh Bear
- They're off on an adventure
- To help a friend somewhere And with help from you, there's nothing they can do
- They're Oso heroic
- Thomas: [spoken] Hurry, Disney Junior friends!
- Oso lucky
- Oso: Sounds like a plan!
- When they're on the scene, they'll do all they can
- Help friends with their skills
- Facing villains and thrills
- Oso: It's all part of the plan.
- Mickey Mouse: More or less.
- They're good and special
- Paw Pilot: Hurry, guys!
- Kind and heroic
- Kip: Great job, guys!
- The adventures of the...
- [Back up singers] Disney Junior (repeat)
- [Singer] Gang!
Prologue[]
Paw Pilot: {Reading} The Disney Junior Gang's Adventures of Jonah: A VeggieTales Movie.
(The movie starts with a starry night sky. Guitar music is heard, along with Mike Asparagus singing Billy Joe McGuffrey with his son, Junior Asparagus, along with Laura Carrot, Annie Onion, and Percy Pea.)
All: (O.S.) (singing) Now, Billy Joe McGuffrey was a really clumsy kid
On the first day of first grade, I'll tell you what he did
He tripped over a pencil box, flew up in the air
Landed on a kangaroo who pulled out all his hair
(A porcupine is shown on the side of the road. It crosses the road.)
All: (O.S) (singing) He needed first aid in the first grade
First aid in the first grade (2x)
You can buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid
(A red and white Volkswagen van drives past. Mike, Junior, Laura, Annie, and Percy are shown in the van.)
All: (singing) Oh, Billy Joe McGuffrey was a really clumsy kid
On the second day of second grade, I'll tell you what he did
He slipped on a banana peel flew up in the sky
Landed on a chimpanzee who poked him in the eye
(Bob the Tomato is shown driving the van with Mike right next to him. Bob is fumbling with a road map.)
All: (singing) He needed first aid in the second grade
Bob: ...Route 59, where's Route 59?
(Mike inadvertently whacks Bob in the back of the head with the guitar's neck. The tomato cries out in pain and glares at Mike.)
All: (singing) First aid in the second grade (2x)
You can buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid
(Mike accidentally hits Bob again, hard enough to smack his face in the dashboard, sounding the horn, and shutting off the headlights.)
Bob: Aah! Lights! AAAAHH!!!
All: (singing) Now Billy Joe McGuffrey was a really clumsy kid
On the third day of third grade, I'll tell you what he did
Bob: Whoa! Lights! Lights! Where is that button?
All: (singing) He fell out of a fishing boat splashed into the sea
Landed on a moray eel...
Bob: Switch! No! Where is it?
All: (singing) ...who bit him on the knee
He needed first aid in the third grade
(Mike hits Bob again, making Bob's face smack the horn again. The van drives over a rock, making everyone bounce.)
All: (singing) First aid in the third grade
(The van goes off the road, and drives over a log, making everyone bounce again.)
All: (singing) First aid in the third grade
(Bob eventually finds the light switch button.)
All: (singing) You can buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid
(As Bob turns the lights back on, Mike plays a solo on his harmonica while Bob is stressed. Laura looks down at her ticket, smiling in love.)
Laura: (whispers in awe to the viewers) I get to meet Twippo.
(Junior looks at Laura, a little unamused. The van passes a porcupine sign. Camera switches to the front of the van.)
Mike: Twelfth grade!
All: (singing) Noooowwww... Billy Joe McGuffrey was a really clumsy kid
On the twelfth day of 12th grade, I'll tell you what he did
He walked into financial aid, fell and broke a bone
Showed them all his bills and got a great big college loan
He needed first aid in the 12th grade
First aid in the 12th grade (2x)
(Bob dodges Mike's guitar as he swings it.)
All: (singing) You can buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid! (2x) Yay! Twippo!
Percy Pea: Let's do another Twippo song!
Annie: I love Twippo.
Junior: Me too!
Laura: But I'm the one who gets to meet him because I won the Twippo sweepstakes.
Junior: You don't have to rub it in.
Mike: It's great that you won the contest, Laura. But let's try not to brag about it. Nice one with the lights, Bob.
Bob: My pleasure, for the next song maybe I can drive into the river!!
Kids: Yeah! Drive into the river, Bob! Oh, drive into the river, Bob!
Bob: Or maybe you could help me with the MAP!!!
Mike: Oh. I'm sorry.
Laura: Is there anything you want me to tell Twippo, when I meet him?
(Mike gets shocked, and turns to Laura, inadvertently whacking Bob in the face with his guitar.)
Mike: Laura!
Bob: Ow!
(Bob loses his concentration, and the van swerves, making Laura's ticket fly out of her grip.)
Laura: (gasps) MY TICKET!!
Mike: Aah! Quick! Get it!
(Mike tries to catch the ticket, but gets in Bob's way.)
Bob: The map!
Mike: Sorry.
Bob: Map!
(Bob screams in horror as the ticket flies out of his open window of the van.)
Laura: (O.S.) MY TICKEEEET...!
(The ticket lands on the side of the road. Cuts back to the veggies in the van. An annoyed Bob tries to get Mike out of his way.)
Bob: Do you mind?!
Mike: (his guitar is stuck in the steering wheel) I'm stuck!!
(Mike tries to pull the guitar out of the steering wheel, but he accidentally rips the wheel off of the dashboard. Bob gasps in horror. Mike frantically shakes his guitar to try to get the wheel off of his guitar. The veggies all cry out in fear as the van swerves all around the road. Meanwhile, in the forest, a mother porcupine is walking with her two babies. Cuts back to the van, which is still driving like crazy.)
Bob: (takes the steering wheel off the guitar) Get it! (tries to put the steering wheel back on the dashboard) We gotta fix it! Put it! Stick it in! Put it!
(Cuts back to the porcupines, who are now walking on the road. Suddenly, the van careens around the corner. Bob sees the porcupines and is horrified.)
Bob: PORCUPINE!!!
(The mother porcupine jumps in front of her babies and aims several quills at the car tires. The front tires are both deflated. As the van heads toward the porcupines, Bob steers to the left. The van then starts rolling down a steep hill and approaches a...)
Mike: Tree! (Bob steers right. Now they're headed for a...) Cabin! (Bob steers left. Finally they're headed for a clothesline. In the center is a pair of white with red polka-dot...) Underwear!
(The clothesline holding the underwear stops the van. Bob looks past the underwear to see the river below.)
Bob: (chuckles) Well, I'm glad that's over. (A line snaps. Bob turns to Mike.) Did you say something? (Mike shakes his head. Another line snaps.) Oh...
Mike: Dear.
(Three more lines snap and the van continues down the hill toward the river. The van then hits a stump and the airbags activate.)
Bob: Am I in heaven?
Mike: (sniffs) It smells like... Wisconsin.
(Everyone jumps out of the car.)
Bob: Well, nobody got hurt.
(A quill comes out of nowhere and hits Bob in the behind)
Bob: Aah!
(The screen pans over to the porcupine family, where it is revealed that one of the babies shot a quill in Bob’s rear end.)
Mike: Wow! What a shot!
(Bob groans.)
Junior: Hey, what's that?
(They all notice a restaurant that reads SEAFOOD with the D light out.)
All: Ooh.
Annie: What's seafoo?
Percy Pea: Maybe it's like tofu?
Mike: Only saltier!
(The D lights up.)
All: (O.S) Ahh.
(cut to inside the restaurant, with the sound of arguing from outside as everyone enters through a rotating door.)
Bob: Oh yeah, well if it wasn't for you we wouldn't be in this mess!
Mike: I said I was sorry. I'll do better next time.
Bob: There ain't gonna be a next time!
Annie: Mr. Bob, how are we going to get to the Twippo Concert?
Percy Pea: Yeah, we're going to miss the Bald Bunny song.
Bob: I don't know! I don't know about any bald...bunnies!
Percy Pea: (singing) I'm a bald bunny, ain't got no fur.
I'm a bald bunny, brrr brrr brrr.
Laura: (while Percy continues singing) Even if we do make it to the concert, I can't get in because I lost my ticket.
Junior: Serves you right! It's your own fault for waving it around in my face!
Annie: I have to go to the bathroom.
Mike: I'm not usually that bad as a co-pilot.
Bob: Two flat tires!!
Mike: Usually, I'm quite dexterous!
Bob: How in the world are we going to change two flat tires? Where's the phone?
Laura: I lost my ticket.
Junior: If you hadn't been teasing me, we wouldn't been in this mess, Laura!
(Laura looks depressed.)
Jean-Claude Pea: (O.S.) (clears his throat after a pause)
The French Peas: May we help you?
(All the veggies speak at once)
Bob: The Asparagus whacked me in the head with a guitar and our van got taken out by a mad porcupine, then another one got me... here.
Percy: (singing) Bald, bald, bunny, bunny
Look over there bunny!
Hair over there bunny!
What fur? That fur!
There's some fur bald bunny!
Mike: Maybe it's because I'm used to the ukulele, The neck is so much shorter... Yeah... that's why. Say, I need to call my wife!
Junior: Laura was teasing me with her "special ticket," and then it flew right out the window and she screamed and made the van crash.. (Junior turns to Laura) ..and now none of us get to see Twippo!
Annie: May I please use the bathroom?
Philippe: (Quoting A Very Veggie Christmas) Down the hall, first door on the left.
Annie: Thank you.
Percy Pea: Ooh, Captain Ahab's Moby Blaster! My favorite! (He hops up to the game.)
Jean-Claude: What do you want?
Bob: Well, sirs, the asparagus hit me in the head with a guitar, and an angry mother porcupine shot out our tires, and one of her babies got me.
(Bob shows a thorn stuck onto his back, while Mike tries not to look.)
The French Peas: Ooh!
Mike: And I need to use your phone to call my-
Bob: A tow truck!
Mike: My wife!
(Bob is not amused.)
Jean-Claude: I see.
Philippe: Next to the Moby Blaster.
Mike: Thanks.
(Mike proceeds to walk to where the phone is.)
Jean-Claude: Well, in the meantime, would you like to have a seat? Maybe enjoy a nice...combo platter?!
The French Peas: (singing) Steak, steak, eat it, eat it!
Shrimp, shrimp, need it, need it!
Steak and shrimp, steak and shrimp!
Need to, need to, eat it, eat it!
(scatting portion)
Philippe: (singing) Got to, got to, got to get the steaky, wakey, shrimpy!
Do you prefer poking or non-poking?
Bob: (sarcastically laughs) Non.
The French Peas: (laughing)
Jean-Claude: Good one, Philippe! You are one clever pea, no?
The French Peas: (laughing)
(Philippe takes the thorn out of Bob's back)
Bob: Aaahh!
Philippe: Voila! A skewer for the scampi!
(The French Peas leave while Bob looks unamused. Everybody then looks back to hear singing)
The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything: (singing) We are The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything
We just stay home and lie around
Jean-Claude: Please, make yourselves comfortable. I will be back to take your order.
The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything: (singing) And if you ask us to do anything...
Bob: Why don't you two wait here? I'm gonna go call a tow truck. Maybe we'll still make it to the concert on time!
The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything: (singing) ...we'll just tell you we don't do anything!
(Bob leaves. Cut to Laura looking depressed over what Junior said.)
Laura: Yeah, everyone but me.
Junior: Hey, it's your own fault for teasing me. You're just getting what you deserve.
Laura: Hmph, I'm coming with you, Mr. Bob.
(Laura leaves.)
(Junior looks at the various fish decorations hanging from the ceiling before looking at a menu. It it, he sees "Compassion" written in it. While he does so, a conversation can be heard faintly.)
Mr Lunt: See, the guy, one guy, all he does, he just folds these napkins.
Larry: Oh, the napkin guy.
Mr. Lunt: He works at night after everybody's gone.
Larry: Yeah. You know, um, he used to fold maps.
Mr. Lunt: No. No. Listen to me! He takes one spoon, he takes one knife, and he takes one fork, and he rolls it up in a napkin. He's the one that makes it into that little swan shape.
(Suddenly, Pa Grape starts talking to Junior.)
Pa Grape: Hey, excuse me.
Junior: Aaahh!!
Larry: How's it going?
Mr. Lunt: Hey, what's up?
Junior: Who are you?
Pa Grape: Uh, Who, us?
Junior: Yeah.
Pa Grape: Oh. Uh, we are The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything.
Mr. Lunt: Oh, you know that's right.
Larry: Nothing.
Mr. Lunt: Zilch.
Larry: Nada.
Pa Grape: Didn't you hear our song?
Junior: Well, yeah, but-
Pa Grape: Look, Sonny, can I call you Sonny?
Junior: Junior.
Pa Grape: Eh, pretty close. Look, uhh..Junior, we couldn't help but notice you were havin' a little thing with your friend over there.
Mr. Lunt: Yeah. You weren't being very nice.
Junior: Well, it's her own fault. She was teasing me, and now she's getting what she deserves!
(brief pause)
Pa Grape: Right. Junior, we've seen these types of situations before.
Mr. Lunt: Happens all the time.
Pa Grape: What you need is a little compassion.
Larry: And maybe some scampi.
Junior: Hey, I saw that in the menu! (looks in the menu) What is that? What's compassion?
Mr. Lunt: Ooh, that's a hard question.
Larry: Mmm-hmm.
Pa Grape: Well, compassion is when you see that someone needs help, and you wanna help them. (Junior looks confused) That's what I thought you'd say.
Mr. Lunt: They all do.
Larry: Yep.
Pa Grape: So we find it helpful to illustrate with a little story.
Junior: A story?
Pa Grape: Yep. You know, we call ourselves The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything, but that's not entirely accurate.
Mr. Lunt: Remember when we did that one thing with that one guy and all those funny characters?
Pa Grape: Oh, do I ever.
Larry: I remember it like it was yesterday.
Getting Mouseketools/Joppa[]
(Larry sips his root beer, to Mickey's Clubhouse}
Mickey Mouse: Welcome to our clubhouse everybody. Guess what? We're going to do something we've never done before. We are going to the story of Jonah, we haven’t been to a bible story location before!
[Ding Dong]
[A Handy Helper opens the door and the rest of the Disney Junior Gang walk in]
Manny: Hola, Mickey!¨
Minnie: Hi, Mickey!
Darby: Hi.
Tigger: Hiya!
Jake: Ahoy!
Annie: ♪Hi, hi, hi!♪♪
Oso: Hey there!
Mickey: Hi, Manny, Hi everybody!
Daisy: We heard we're going to the bible times today.
Mickey: Yep. We are going to the story of Jonah!
Minnie: Ooh!
Goofy: I've heard of Jonah. It's the incredible story of a man who swallowed a whale!
Donald: Uh, Goofy, I think you're mixed up.
Goofy: Am not?
Izzy: Goofy, Jonah didn't swallow a whale.
Goofy: Did too!
Leo: Okay, let's ask the expert. June, Did Jonah swallow a whale?
June: (giggles) No! That's silly! The whale swallowed Jonah. Not the other way around!
Mickey: Thanks, Archibald! See, Goofy?
Goofy: I thought for sure Jonah swallowed something. Maybe it was a goldfish.
Mickey: I know, it's hard to admit when you're wrong. But even Jonah learned how important it is to do that.
Professor Ludwig Von Drake: Hello, my friends. [to the viewers] And hello to you too out there in the audience. [to the Disney Junior Gang] Now, if you would all please follow me to the Anywhere Area.
[Mickey pulls the big yellow lever and the living room flips over to reveal the groundbridge]
Mickey Mouse: [looking at a veggietales sign button] I'd like to go the to the back to the time of the story of Jonah please?
Professor Ludwig Von Drake: Oh-hoo-hoo-hoo. A great choice. And best of all you'll the story Veggietales style.
Annie: Oooh! I love Veggietales!
Minnie: Me too.
Mickey Mouse: [to the viewers] will you go with us the time of the bible to meet Jonah? [awkward silence] Hot dog! Come on then, let's get some Mousekatools.
Dusty: To the Mousekadoer!
[The Mousekadoer starts up]
Mickey Mouse: Mouseka-hey, mouseka-hi, mouska-ho!~
Mouseka-ready, mouseka-set, here we go!~ You're a thinking and a solving working througher~Mousekame, mousekayou, Mousekadoer~Mousekame, mousekayou, Mousekadoer~
[Toodles flies up to them]
Mickey Mouse And Kids: Oh, Toodles, it's time to get to it~
Show us the Mousketools to help us do it~
Mickey: Meeska...Mooska...Mousekadoer!
Mousekatools! Mousekatools! Mousekatools!
Kid Voices: Here are your Mousekatools!~
[A feather shows up on screen]
June: A feather. Very ticklish.
[The feather moves to the top left hand corner. Then a life saver appears]
Oos: A life saver,
Darby: For saving people in the water
[a life saver moves to the top right hand corner. Then a speedboat appears]
Quincy: A speedboat.
Mickey: To ride fast on the water.
[The surfboard moves To The bottom left hand corner then a question mark appears indicating the mystery mousEketool]
Mickey Mouse: And the Mystery Mousekatool.
[It moves to the bottom right hand corner]
Mickey Mouse: That's a surprise tool that can help us later.
[The tools vanish and are transported into Toodles]
Mickey Mouse: Toodles has the tools~
The Mousekatools~So when we need em, Toodles will bring em~
Mickey Mouse: He's here for meddles and youddles~And all we have to say is "Oh, Toodles!"~All we have to say is "Oh, Toodles!"~
[Toodles waggles his ears at the camera before flying off]
Mickey Mouse: Now that we got our mousketools, let's go!
Professor Ludwig Von Drake: Turner, if you would please fire up the groundbridge.
[Turner fires up the groundbridge]
Manny: [in Spanish] uno, dos, tres, cuatro, cinco, seis, siete, ocho, nueve, diez, once, doce, trece, catorce, quince, diez y seis, diez y siete, diez y ocho, diez y nueve.
[Manny puts on his tool belt and gloves. He then picks up his tool box]
Tools: Hop up, jump in~
Pat: Come on, let's go~
Tools: Hop up, jump in~
Felipe: Si, vamanos~
Rusty: Ho-ho.
Tools: Hop up, jump in~
Stretch: Don't go too slow!~
Turner: Keep up!~
Tools: Let's get to work~
Muy rapido!~
[The tools cheer and the Disney Junior Gang head through the groundbridge The scene then changes to Larry putting a root beer bottle down. The Pirates are standing at a booth selling their favorite snacks.)
Joppa Booth Salesman (Mr. Nezzer): Are you guys still doing that "pirate thing"?
Mr. Lunt: Aargh! Watch your tongue, matey, or we'll have to... what will we do?
Larry: We won't do anything. We're The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything, remember?
Mr. Lunt: Oh, that's right. Aargh! you got off easy today!
Larry: We need more Mr. Twisty's Twisted Cheese Curls!
Pa Grape: Yeah, and root beer!
Joppa Booth Salesman: I told you boys - no more cheese curls until you pay your tab! You still owe me from last week!
Mr. Lunt: But you'll take away our chance to win the "Mister Twisty's Twisted Cheese Curl Sweepstakes!"
Joppa Booth Salesman: Come again?
Pa Grape: Inside one of those bags of cheesy goodness is a golden ticket that'll change our lives forever!
Joppa Booth Salesman: Well, you could work here for me. That way you could earn more cheese curls.
Pirates: (overlapping in agreement)
Joppa Booth Salesman: So, uh... Whadaya know how to do?
Pa Grape: Well, I'm pretty good at lawn darts.
Larry: Ping-pong! I can play ping-pong!
Mr. Lunt: Croquet is my spe-ci-al-ity.
(beat)
Pa Grape: When do we start?
(The Joppa Booth Salesman closes the booth.)
Pa Grape: Monday's good for me! (narrating) We were short on cash. It seems not doing anything didn't pay very well.
Mr. Lunt: So, what do we do now?
Larry: Uh...nothing!
Mr. Lunt: You are a genius.
(As the pirates are walking, Larry sees the fish market.)
Joppa citizen: Uh, are these fish fresh?
Jean-Claude: You bet!
Phillipe: Oh yeah!
(The citizen smells it and faints, due to the bad smell.)
Joppa citizen: Ooooh!
Jean-Claude: What? They were fresh when they caught them.
Phillipe: That's right.
Jean-Claude: ...two weeks ago!
Both: Ho-ho-ho! He-he!
(The French Peas start slapping each other with their fish while Larry is concerned.)
Larry: Hmm, Ninevites.
Pa Grape: (narrating) Beside the fact that we were low on funds, this was a memorable day because he showed up: Jonah!