The Veggie and Character Gang's Adventures of Lord of the Beans/Transcript

Transcript[]

Opening Countertop[]

(We fade in to Bob alone on the countertop.)

Bob: Hi Kids! I'm Bob the Tomato, and welcome to VeggieTales! Larry said he'd be right back, said he had some kind of surprise or something.

(Larry comes onscreen riding a unicycle, quickly zooming off-screen.)

Larry: Whoah! Whoah!
Bob: Larry? What are you-

(Larry zooms by the other way on his unicycle.)

Larry: Whaah!
Bob: Look out for the sink!

(Larry comes back onscreen, now riding the unicycle flawlessly.)

Bob: Where did you get-?
Larry: Do you like it? I saved up 500 box tops from Frosted Flakey Flippers cereal and it's finally here! My new ukulele!
Bob: That's a unicycle, Larry. But aren't those things really hard to ride?
Larry: Well, I guess at first, but I got the hang of it. No big deal. I think I'm gifted.

(Larry circles around Bob.)

Bob: You can't even reach the pedals! How are you doing that?
Larry: I'm telling you, Bob, I've got a gift! And you know what I'm gonna do with it?
Bob: Uh, your gift?
Larry: Yeah, rich and famous, Bob. Give me a month, and my ukulele and I will be on the cover of VeggieBeat magazine.
Bob: It's a unicycle. And are you sure that's what your gift is for?
Larry: Well, what else would it be for?
Bob: You know, that reminds me of a letter we just got from Dylan Clark of Altoona, Wisconsin.
Larry: Can Dylan ride a unicycle?
Bob: Well, no. But Dylan can build things better than anyone else he knows. His mom says he has a gift. Dylan wants to know what exactly a gift is and what is he supposed to do with it?
Larry: Rich and famous, Dylan!
Bob: Wait a minute, Larry. We have a story today that can help both of you. It's about a boy who received an extraordinary gift and had to figure out what it was for. It's full of elves, and dwarves, and flobbits!
Larry: Ooh....What's a flobbit?
Bob: You'll find out in a minute! Dylan, get ready for The Lord of the Beans!

Lord of the Beans: Act I[]

(We fade into a fireplace with a bean on tongs. As we focus in on the bean, the episode's logo appears. Then we dissolve into a grassy landscape where Tam Camsee (played by Tommy Pickles) is taking a nap and his friend Toto Baggypants (Junior) is waiting. Just then, he notices Randalf (Mr. Nezzer) the wizard riding a carriage full of fireworks.)

Toto Baggypants: Tam, wake up. Randalf's here.
Tam Camsee: He is?

(They approach him)

Toto: Randalf, you're late.
Tam: Explain.

(Randalf stops the carriage.)

Randalf: Toto Baggypants, Tam Camsee, I am never late. I arrive precisely when I intend to.
Tam Camsee: Like you do what you want?
Randalf: Yes. I do what I do when I need it.

(The three stare at each other for a few seconds, then start giggling. Then the giggling evolves into full-on laughter. After a while, Toto stops laughing, however Tam, and Randalf is still laughing, much to Toto's annoyance. After a while, they eventually stop as well.)

Tam: Why are we laughing?
Randalf: Cause if we take the do's together, it makes,,,. (He realizes)Oh....Oh, my.
Toto: Well, anyway got the fireworks?
Randalf: Oh yeah.

(We then fade to a starry night sky as fireworks are going off. We then pan down to reveal a group of flobbits, as well as Toto, Tam and Randalf, admiring the fireworks during a birthday party. As they're admiring, sparks from the fireworks sets one flobbit's hair on fire. He then starts running around worriedly as another flobbit runs after him with a bucket of water.)

Toto: Well done, Randalf!
Tam: Impressive as always!
Randalf: Yes, they seem to enjoy it.

(The same flobbit runs in front of Toto and Randalf, as the flobbit with the bucket of water splashes him off-screen. Tam watches and cringes.)

June: Toto, Tam, Randalf! There you are!
Tam: June! You and your friends made it!
Leo: Of course! You know we like parties.
Randalf: So when's your uncle gonna make his speech?
Toto: Here he is now!

(Billboy Baggypants (Archibald Asparagus) is seen in front of a large group of Flobbits.)

Billboy Baggypants: Dear Flobbits, today is my twelfthity-twoth birthday! Ha!

(The flobbits applaud)

Billboy: 122 years is too short a time to live among such fine folk! I'm twice as tall as half of you and half as short as twice of you.

(The flobbits look at each other confused.)

Billboy: But, I'm growing tired, you see. I'm feeling stretched like chocolate pudding scraped across too much ham. (singing A Little More Of This) My life has been a series of adventures, a string of journeys, quests, and curious trips. I've done all right, you see, gathering riches just for me. All to bring the cup of joy up to my lips. I grabbed a little more of this and a little more of that.

(Billboy grabs pieces of pizza from the flobbits.)

Billboy: I wanted to be happy but instead, it left me flat. Share with me the secret if you can, the key to be a truly happy man. I didn't mean to interrupt your feasting or bore you with my silly little speech. So dig right in my friends before the celebration ends! And the plate of pressure passes out of reach.

(As flobbits are grabbing cupcakes from a plate, Billboy takes the plate before the last flobbit can take one.)

Billboy: And have a little more of this and little more of that. Hope it makes you happy, But it only makes you fat. And now it's time to bid you all adieu, but not before a present just for you!

(Billboy pulls out a bean, and throws it up into the air. As it lands on the ground, it starts to shake.)

Billboy: My birthday cake!

(Suddenly, a large cake appears on the table, amazing everyone.)

Tam: Wow! Now that's what i call a birthday cake!
Annie: Me too!
Quincy: Awesome!

(As Tam, June and Toto is celebrating, they suddenly realize Billboy is gone.)

Toto: Uncle Billboy?
Tam: Where did he go?
June: I don't know.

(We cut to Billboy's house as he's walking in, humming a small tune to himself.)

Billboy: Heh, Billboy, you old rascal! They never saw that one coming!

(Billboy reaches into his suitcase and pulls out a sleeveless jersey. As he goes to the mirror to admire it, Randalf appears behind him, surprising him.)

Randalf: You think you're awfully clever, don't you?
Billboy: Randalf! My old friend! Why, you haven't changed a bit!

(Billboy throws the jersey behind him.)

Randalf: No, but you have. You must be twice as tall as when last we met!
Billboy: Ha, Ha! Well, you know, clean living.
Randalf: And your clothes, very fine for a flobbit.
Billboy: Oh, rags, really.
Randalf: And this house! I don't remember that there.

(Randalf goes deeper into Billboy's house to examine the stuff he has.)

Billboy: What? Randalf-
Randalf: Or that, or that.
Billboy: Well, business has been good!
Randalf: And what's this, an espresso maker?
Billboy: Oh! You really must try it! I tell you it makes tea taste like bathwater! I wasn't sure I'd like it at first. It has quite a- (He bumps into Randalf, who has suddenly appeared behind him.) -ooh! ...kick.
Randalf: Billboy Baggypants, there are many powerful beans in the world, none of them should be used lightly.
Billboy: Oh, being friends with you can be such a bother. Alright, here it is.

(Billboy throws the bean on the table.)

Billboy: I found it on my adventures. It's given me anything I've asked for. Anything I could think of, anyway. But something's missing. I can't put words to it, but I intend to find it, whatever it is. That's why I'm leaving. I'm leaving tonight, and I don't believe I'll be coming back.
Randalf: And your home?
Billboy: To Toto, my nephew, I'm giving everything to him.
Randalf: What about the bean?
Billboy: Yes, the bean too. What I'm looking for, I don't think it can give me. You'll see to it that he gets it, won't you?
Randalf: Yes, of course.
Billboy: Well, I must be off. Farewell, Randalf.

(Billboy grabs his suitcase and starts heading out the door. Randalf is examining the bean when Billboy says this.)

Randalf: Hmm? Oh yes, Farewell, Billboy. Until we meet again.

(Billboy leaves, as Randalf goes back to examining the bean closely. After a while, Toto comes in with a piece of cake, albeit with his eyes closed. Tam and June are with him too, eating pieces of cake from the party)

Toto: Uncle Billboy, I saved you some cake! I got one with a big flower. (Toto opens his eyes, confused that only Randalf is there.) Randalf?
Tam: Have you seen Billboy?
Randalf: Yes.
Toto: Where is he?
Randalf: Your uncle isn't here, Toto. He had to leave, said he was looking for something.
June: Oh.
Toto: He talked about leaving. I guess I knew someday he really would.
Randalf: He's given you everything! His home, all his things...his bean.

(Totos put down the piece of cake, confused. So do June and Tam)

June: A bean?
Randalf: Yep.
Tam: A tiny helpless, snack food eatable bean?
Randalf: Yes sir.
Toto: Why would I want a bean?
Tam: To eat it?
Randalf: You can't eat that!
Tam: Why not?
Randalf: (singing Not An Ordinary Bean) This bean is not an ordinary bean! (2x)
Toto: It's not?
Randalf: No, it's not.
June: What's so special about it?
Randalf: Many many years ago, when Center-Earth was thick with snow, four beans were given. I said, four beans were given!

(As Randalf sings, we transition into a flashback showing what he's explaining.)

Randalf: Long before the shire was made, where flobbits flaunter in the shade, four beans were given. Powerful beans were given. Special! Powerful! (Images of what Randalf describes are shown on the beans.) The first bean could grow any kind of food or drink you could imagine. The second could change your looks: your height, your hair. The third produced the finest clothing, and the fourth, small kitchen appliances!
Toto: ...Small kitchen appliances?
Randalf: Small kitchen appliances! Toasters, blenders, Fry Daddy deep fryers, you name it!
June: Like the grill? Or even a refrigerator?
Randalf: That's right!
Toto: Whoa! Is this one of those beans?
Randalf: No.
Toto: No? Oh.
Tam: But. Where'd those beans go?
Randalf: Unfortunately, the poor fools who received them had no idea what they'd been given, and cooked them up in a stew.

(A flashback shows four knights eating stew around a fireplace.)

Knight #4: Not bad.
Randalf: But there was another bean...
Toto: Another bean?
Randalf: Another bean...
Tam: Another bean...
Randalf: A fifth bean...a fifth bean that could give anything!
June: Anything?
Randalf: Anything! From blenders to bagels, hairdos to hats, the power of all the others wrapped up in one bean!
Toto: One bean?
Randalf: One bean, the most powerful bean in the world!
Tam: Is this it, Randalf?
Randalf: Put it in the fire, Toto.
Toto: Huh?
Randalf: Put it in the fire! The one true bean carries an inscription revealed by fire alone.

(Toto puts the bean on a pair of tongs and puts it in the fire.)

Randalf: Now take it out and look closely.

(Toto pulls it out of the fire, looking closely at it.)

Toto: I don't see anything....no, wait!
Randalf: What does it say?
Toto: It says, "if you can read this, you're too close".
Randalf: Other side.

(Toto turns the bean around. As he does, the bean shines, revealing the words...)

Toto: Use wisely....use wisely?
Randalf: This is that bean! (2x) It's an amazing gift, Toto, and it's yours! The bean is yours!

(Toto throws the bean on the table.)

Tam: So, are we gonna eat it?
Randalf: No! Not eat it! Toto can get anything he wants from it!
Toto: I'm not so sure I want it! Billboy's given me plenty of stuff. You take the bean, Randalf!
Randalf: The bean is your gift, Toto. Every gift is given for a reason. We can't choose which ones we get, only what we do with them.
Toto: Well, what am I supposed to do with it? I don't know beans! What if I use it wrong and mess everything up?
Tam: You can't if you,,,
June: No Tam. Enough with the eating beans thing. We're not going to eat it.
Tam: Alright, alright, sheesh!

(Toto then realizes something.)

Toto: Randalf, you're wise! Tell me what to do with it!
Randalf: Well, I uh.....to be honest, I don't know. I paid better attention in fireworks class than in bean class. It was a good show, though, wasn't it? (Randalf smiles, confusing Toto.)
Tam: Well, yeah, but i don't think that answers Toto's question.
Randalf: Oh. [get an idea] [gasps] I think I know someone who can help, though; the elders of the Raspberry Forest. Their knowledge of mysterious plants and beans goes back ages!
June: The Raspberry Forest, huh? I've heard of that forest. It has trees there that look like they have arms. And it has lots of plants, kinda like a jungle.
Toto: The Raspberry Forest....that on the other side of-
Randalf: ..the mountains of Much-Snowia. The journey will be difficult, but the wisdom you seek cannot be gained without work. There are other dangers. Your gift is not unknown. The dark lord Scaryman would give anything to have it for his own.
Toto: S-S-Scaryman?!
Tam: I ain't scared of no Scaryman!
June: Me neither!
Randalf: But he has a female bodyguard named,, Mincine!
June: Mincine?
Randalf: That bean could feed and clothe his armies as they ravage Center-Earth! Right now, his minions search for it.
Toto: M-minions?
Randalf: Yes, foul creatures that fear nothing!

(As Randalf and Toto talk, we transition to Scaryman's (Scallion #1's) and Mincine (Minnie Mouse's) lair, revealing a giant pot with bright, hot liquid being poured into a giant mold.)

Toto: What kind of vegetable are they?
Tam: Please say they're tiny fruit.
Randalf: Oh, they aren't vegetable or fruit at all! Unnatural creatures forged by Scaryman himself! Half spoon, half fork.
Toto: You mean...
Randalf: Sporks. (said creatures rise from the mold) They are Scaryman's utensils, and they do Scaryman's bidding.
Toto: Sporks?!
Randalf: And as for Mincine, she's not really evil. She just wants a boyfriend.
Tam: Oh.
Randalf: [to Toto] No one would blame you if you just put the bean in a box and forgot about it.

(Toto thinks about this for a few seconds.)

Toto: I've been given a gift, and I wanna know what it's for. I need to know what I'm to do with it.
Tam: What a brave asparagus.

(Randalf smiles.)

Toto: But I don't think I can make the journey alone. Even with Tam with me.
Tam: Hey!
Randalf: You won't have to. I'm coming with you two.
Tam: You are?
Randalf: Yep.
June: I'll come too. Cause I know how much you wanna find the meaning of your gift. And i'm you and Tam's best friend. Friends stick together to the end.
Randalf: Perfect. And I took the liberty to invite a few friends of my own too.

(Randalf opens the door, ready to reveal them.)

Randalf: Fearless ranger, Ear-A-Corn!

(Ear-A-Corn (Larry) comes in, flailing his sword all around until he accidentally slices a candle on the table.)

Ear-A-Corn: Oops...you have my sword!
Randalf: He isn't the only sword ranger. Give it up for Dog ear Mouse and his dog Fighter!

(Dog ear Mouse (Mickey Mouse) and his dog Fighter (Pluto) come in.)

Dog ear Mouse: You have my sword too!
Fighter: (barks)
Randalf: Sharp-shooting elves, Leg-o-Lamb, and Fearless Bunny Archer!

(Leg-o-Lamb (Jimmy Gourd) and Fearless Bunny Archer (Bugs Bunny) comes in aiming their bows-and-arrows.)

Leg-o-Lamb: You have our bows!
Fearless Bunny Archer : And my fire arrows!
Randalf: Next up, Bouncer Warrior!

(Bouncer Warrior (Tigger) enters)

Bouncer Warrior: You have my bouncy tail and bouncy shoes!
Randalf: Then we have blue koala-like alien soldier, Soldier Space Guy!

(Soldier Space Guy (Stitch) craws on the ceiling into the door.)

Soldier Space Guy: Muga, Muga! (roars) (Then he fires his space gun into the fireplace making it bigger) Oops. Goocha have morcheeba gun!
June: What did he say?
Randalf: That's his alien talk for "You have my gun." And gruff-but-lovable dwarfs, Grumpy and Sleepy!

(Grumpy (Pa Grape) and Sleepy (Winnie the Pooh) drags themselves in.)

Grumpy: Oy, could we have parked any farther away?....oh yeah, you have my axe. Not that it'll do any good.
Sleepy: [yawns] Is it time for bed yet?.... oh yeah, you have my shield.

(Just as Randalf is about to finish, a Keebler elf (Jerry Gourd) walks in.)

Other Elf: *ahem*
Randalf: Hm?
Leg O Lamb: Oh, that's my brother. He didn't have anything to do this weekend. He's another elf.
Toto: What does he do?
June: Does he have fighting skills?
Fearless Bunny Archer : No. He's really harmless.
Tam: Then what can he do?
Leg-o-Lamb: Uhh....he's pretty good in the kitchen!
Bouncer Warrior: And very good at cooking.
Leg-o-Lamb: Uhh..that's what i said.
Randalf: Right.,,,and the other elf. These fearless men have...
Voice: Hey don't forget about me!

[They look to see Rabdog (Goofy) at the door wearing a backpack)

Rabdog: I'm Rabdog. Half Dog and half Rabbit.
June: Wow. A guy who's half Dog and half Rabbit.
Dog ear Mouse: Yep! Like how i'm a mouse with dog ears.
Toto: What'ya got in the bag, Rabdog?
Rabdog: Oh! Just some little things to help us on your quest Toto. First the compass, so you'll know which way to go. A parachute for flying down from high places. Rope for climbing down, and a lantern for seeing in dark places. Some of this, some of that. Can't forget this, little extra of that...well, you know useful stuff.
Randalf: Right then. These fearless men have... agreed to accompany you on your quest to brave Much-Snowia and keep you three from Scaryman's clutches as you seek the purpose of your gift. I give you the Fellowship of the Bean!
Tam: Cool!

(The fellowship stand together under a spotlight, then Grumpy walks off and Tam follows.)

Grumpy: Got any waffles?
Tam: Sure do.

(We hear a fridge door opening off-screen)

Rabdog: It's settled then! We leave first thing tomorrow morning!

(We cut to black. We then fade back to reveal the Fellowship walking through a grassy landscape the next morning. After a while, we cut to the Fellowship waiting in front of a rock.)

Fearless Bunny Archer: You almost done?
Other Elf: Almost!
Leg-o-Lamb: Why didn't you go before we left?
Other Elf: I didn't have to then. I'm good now. I can hike forever!

(We then cut back to the Fellowship walking through the landscape. As they're walking, Ear-A-Corn pulls out his sword, slicing all the flowers he comes across. Randalf and Dog ear Mouse roll their eyes. Then, the Fellowship stops as they see a large, snowy mountain.)

Randalf: Much-Snowia...
Ear-A-Corn: That's a lot of snow.
Dog ear Mouse: I think that's why they call it Much-Snowia, Ear-A-Corn.
Bouncer Warrior: Maybe we could build a snowman up there.
Rabdog: Or make a snowfort.
Tam: Sounds good to me.
June: Me too.
Grumpy: We covered a lot of ground today! What say we bunk down here for the night?
Sleepy: I'm with you, Grumpy.
Tam: Why would we do that?
Randalf: It's not even lunchtime.
Grumpy: And?
Dog ear Mouse: And so...we're not gonna rest until we get to the Raspberry Forest. Let's go!

(We then transition to the Fellowship walking up the snowy mountain.)

Grumpy: "It'll be fun", he says. "Fresh air", he says. "You'll get out of the mines", he says. Ohhhh....and for this I'm missing taco night?
Sleepy: Tell me about. I'm missing honey night.

(We then cut to the Fellowship waiting in front of a snowy rock.)

Dog ear Mouse: Oh my gourd, Hurry up!
Other Elf: Th-that was it. Now I can go for hours!

(We then cut to the Fellowship walking through a huge snowstorm as they go higher up the mountain.)

June: Brrrrr! It's cold!

(Then Ear-A-Corn and Rabdog walk by in heavy winter parkas.)

Ear-A-Corn (muffled): You gotta dress for the weather!
Rabdog: I've got a few more Parkas in my bag if anyone wants one.

(We then cut back to the grassy landscape as the Sporks are charging through. Then we transition to reveal the Fellowship reaching the top of the mountain, looking down to see the Raspberry Forest.)

Toto: The Raspberry Forest! We did it!
Randalf: We're not there yet. You all wait here while I look for a safe route down.
Rabdog: Randalf, we don't need to look for a route down.
Randalf: We don't?
Rabdog: No. [pulls out a rope from his bag] I've got a rope. And it's long enough to reach the bottom.

[He ties the rope to a peg and then hammers the peg into the snow then he throws the rope over the edge]

Rabdog: Well just follow me. [he starts to climb down]
Tam: Whoa! That's a long way down.
June: It sure is.
Ear-A-Corn: If you're clever, these things can even keep your nose warm!
Bouncer Warrior: (sees him) (gasps) Watch out!

(He jumps out of way and grabs Soldier Space Guy too. But Ear-A-Corn bumps into everybody else, knocking them down the mountain. As they roll down, they roll into a giant snowball]

All: Aaaah!! Hey, hey! Woooaaahhhh!

[Rabdog keeps climbing down until he sees the snowball]

Rabdog: Oh, no!
Toto: Watch out!

[The snowball crashes into Rabdog as he get caught in it too. The snowball keeps rolling until it crashes at the bottom.)

All: Woooahhh! Aaaahhhh-oof!

(The Fellowship pop out of the snow covered in snow as Bouncer Warrior bounces to the bottom carrying Soldier Space Guy on his back. Rabdog's peg fall to the bottom too.)

June: Brrrr!
Grumpy: How's your nose feel now?
Ear-A-Corn: Still warm!
Dog ear Mouse: Don't ever do that again!
Ear-A-Corn: Sorry.

(We then cut to the Fellowship walking through the forest. While they're doing so, Leg-o-Lamb looks around, pointing his bow-and-arrow.)

Grumpy: I'm starving. Where are all the raspberries?
Randalf: Not that kind of raspberry.
Grumpy: Not that kind of raspberry? What's that supposed to mean? (to Toto) Hey, kid, you got any food? My stomach's growling.
Toto: Just day-old biscuits. Did you eat all yours?
Grumpy: Ah, I got 'em right here. They don't agree with me. I was thinking more like a, uh, a nice chicken burrito!
Toto: Sorry, fresh out of burritos.

(Grumpy stops to catch his breath.)

Grumpy: Hey, you got that bean, right?
Toto: ...yeah?
Grumpy: It can make anything! Anything we want!
Toto: I guess...
Grumpy: Perfect! So make me a chicken burrito, with lots of guacamole!
Toto: I don't think I should.
Grumpy: Why not?
Toto: I was given this gift for a reason, and I don't wanna use it 'til I know what that reason is.
Tam: And, i would eat it, but Toto, June and Randalf tell me not too because it's very special.
June: And i want to help Toto find out what it's for. Cause I know how he wants use it wisely.
Grumpy: Man, if I had a gift like that, I'd be using that thing to get rich!...after I made a few burritos.

(Randalf turns to face the Fellowship.)

Randalf: Listen, we are nearing the elders who will know the secret of Toto's bean. With them, your behavior will become critically important! Try and keep it together.
Leg-o-Lamb: What do you mean "critically important"?
Randalf: The elders of the Raspberry Forest are ancient. Somewhere around the fourth millennium, they lost their senses of humor. Well all of them except for the queen. But you may not laugh in the elder's presence, you may not even smile, no matter what happens! The consequences if you do will be grave.

[pause]

Tam: I don't know what that means.
June: It means it will be very serious.
Tam: Oh.

(After recollecting what Randalf said, the Fellowship continues on.)

Toto: ..So these elders must be as old as the trees.
Randalf: No, they are the trees.

(Toto looks around, confused.)

Randalf: Hail, elders of the Raspberry Forest! May your fruit never fall in vain!
Bouncer Warrior: Fall in vain?
Randalf: You'll see.

(The trees around them wake up, and yawn, much to the Fellowship's amazement. The Chief Elder, who has a jewel necklace around him, rises.)

Chief Elder: Welcome, Randalf, son of Mandalf, keeper of the flame of Remorthia Olilith.

(The Tree Queen (played by Daisy Duck) arrives in her bush throne.)

Tree Queen: Hello, Randalf. Welcome to our jungly forest kingdom. I once knew Gandolf, your cousin. He was my good friend.
June: Whoa. Talking trees.
Randalf: Thank you for your welcome, Tree Queen and Lord Falaminion-Tereglith, son of Therabil-Elithimon. That is a beautiful jewel you wear. And that is a beautiful leaf crown you wear, Tree Queen.
Tree Queen: Why, thank you. I have a whole bunch of crowns. A fern crown, a flower crown, a mushroom crown, even a vine crown.
Chief Elder: Yes. And my jewel, a gift from a friend. I have an eye for beautiful things. But tell me, Randalf, son of Mandalf, did you come here to admire my jewelry?
Tree Queen: Or did you come here so that I can show you all my crowns?
Randalf: No, Tree Queen and Lord Falaminion-Tereglith, son of Therabil-Elithimon. It is the matter of a bean that brings us here, a bean that I believe may be the bean.

(As they're talking, the rest of the Fellowship get bored. Then Ear-A-Corn and Fearless Bunny Archer notice another tree, who looks at them.)

Fearless Bunny Archer: Uh, what's up...doc?
Chief Elder: You mean, Randalf, son of Mandalf, the "bean of power"?
Tree Queen: (gasps) You mean the "bean of power"?
Randalf: Yes, Lord Falaminion-Tereglith, son of Therabil-lil-lil-Elithimon. And Tree Queen, yes, the "bean of power". It has fallen into the possession of a young flobbit, who seeks your husband's wisdom in knowing for what purpose it should be used.
Fearless Bunny Archer: Why is that tree....?

(As Ear-A-Corn glares at the tree, the tree blows a raspberry at him, making him fall over as Fearless Bunny Archer catches him.)

Chief Elder: He should take the bean through the Blue Gate, to the Land of Woe, Randalf, son of Mandalf. There, he will find his answer.

(Ear-A-Corn pulls out his sword in defense, but then notices the Fellowship looking around to see who made the funny noise.)

Ear-A-Corn: (whispering) It's the tree!
Fearless Bunny Archer: (whispering) Let's take him out!

(Then another tree by Leg-o-Lamb blows a raspberry at him, making Ear-A-Corn snicker. This catches the attention of Randalf.)

Randalf: Knock it off! They're just saying hello.

(Toto starts giggling too. So does June.)

Randalf: Uh...b-but the Land of Woe is a cursed place filled with evil! What would he do when he gets there?

(At this point, the two trees have started blowing raspberries, the Fellowship trying to hold their laughter back.)

Tree Queen: (seeing what's going on) Oh, dear.
Chief Elder: It will be obvious.
Randalf: (noticing everyone giggling) Uh, I-I believe we must be going. Thank you for your sage advice! (to the Fellowship) Get out, get out, get out!

(The Fellowship make their way out of the forest, but the second tree blows a raspberry. Ear-A-Corn then bursts into hysterical laughter. When Randalf looks back, he sees the Chief Elder reaching for him.)

Tree Queen: Uh, oh.

(We then cut to nighttime, as the Fellowship are imprisoned on a platform high on a tree atop the forest.)

Grumpy: Oh...that kind of raspberry!
Randalf: I said no matter what happens, don't laugh or smile. Didn't I say that?
Ear-A-Corn: Well, you didn't mention they were gonna talk like that.
Soldier Space Guy: Yeah!
Fearless Bunny Archer: Yeah, doc. You should've mentioned that to us. Then we wouldn't have tried to laugh at them.
Leg-o-Lamb: So, how long will they keep us here?
Randalf: The last fellow I knew who made fun of their language was up here for 12 years.
Leg-o-Lamb: Then they let him go?
Randalf: No, he was blown off in a windstorm, never seen again.

(As they're talking, Toto is off to the side thinking.)

Toto: (singing To Have a Gift) To have a gift is a wonderful thing. Your spirits will lift and your heart will sing. Though some might use it to live like a king, first I want to know what it's for. Will I ever know what it's for?
June: Aw. Toto really wants to know what his gift is for.
Ear-A-Corn: There's gotta be some way to get down from here.
Randalf: None that I know of.
June: Hmm.
Leg-o-Lamb: Y'know, maybe we could build a slingshot.
Grumpy: You gotta be kidding me.
Ear-A-Corn: We could make a hot air balloon out of our hats.
Rabdog: Or we could float down [pulls a parachute from his bag] It's a good thing i have a parachute in my bag.
Dog ear Mouse: Rabdog, that parachute is too small for all of us.

(As they're talking, Randalf notices a bee and suddenly gets an idea.)

Randalf: Wait a minute...*gasp* The eagle! *gasp* The eagle's coming!

(Everyone then notices a giant eagle flying towards the platform.)

Fearless Bunny Archer: Aw, how's he gonna help us...?
Randalf: I have an idea! Everyone, stand on the edge of the platform next to me. Now, when I give the signal, we're all gonna jump together!
Rabdog: Huh?!
Randalf: Trust me, this will work.

(The eagle flies underneath the platform.)

Randalf: Okay, ready? Jump!
Rabdog: Randalf, wait!

(Everyone except Rabdog jumps backwards and falls, making the eagle fall with them. Then Rabdog facepalms and uses his parachute to float down.)

Eagle: Ow. What was that?!
June: Well,,,
Eagle: (sarcastically) "Oh, there's a bird! Let's jump on him! Maybe he'll fly us wherever we want to go! Maybe he'll serve us drinks and little bags of peanuts!"
June: We're sorry. We didn't knew you would be offended.
Eagle: (Agitated) Apology not accepted! Next time get your own ride!

(The eagle flies off as Rabdog lands.)

Rabdog: What did i miss?

(Everyone else except June, Sleepy and Rabdog glare at Randalf angrily.)

Randalf: I thought that would work.
Bouncer Warrior: Well next time think twice, before we offend someone.
Randalf: Bad news, I never knew or learned that. [they still stare at him angrily] Well, at least we didn't wake the trees

(Cue Murphy's law; the Chief Elder throws a raspberry (fruit) at them angrily.)

Fearless Bunny Archer: You were saying?!
Chief Elder: Randalf, son of Mandalf, you have left your detention!
Tree Queen: (yawns) What's all the noise?
Chief Elder: Randalf and his fellowship have left their detention!
Randalf: W-w-w-why yes, Lord Falamin-RUN-ion-Tereglith, son of Therabil-RUN-Elillililithi......
Tree Queen: Uh, i think you guys should run.
Randalf: Uh, w-w-w-why of course, uh, i mean we,,, uh, i mean,,,,,,,RUN!!

(The elders start furiously throwing raspberries.)

Leg-o-Lamb: Aah! Run!!
Bouncer Warrior: EVERY TIGGER FOR THEMSELVES!
Fearless Bunny Archer: RUN FOR IT!
Rabdog: INCOMING!
Soldier Space Guy: Aaahh!
Dog ear Mouse: Yike!
June: Let's get outta here!
Chief Elder: Accost them!
All: Ah! Incoming!
Tree Queen: Honey, fellows, stop! (But it's no use they keep throwing berries)
All: Ah! Woah! Look out!
Sleepy: Oh, bother!
Tree Queen: Farewell, fellowship!

(As they run through the forest, they get splattered with several berries. We then transition to daytime, as they come out of the forest. Ear-A-Corn faints as the rest come out, covered in berries.)

Grumpy: Oy, that went well!
Sleepy: No, that did not went well. I feel beaten up, and I'm tired.
Leg-o-Lamb: Hey, at least we're out of that tree.
June: So they did have the other kind of raspberry too. (picks one that wasn't splattered off of her and eats it) Mmm. Yummy.

(Everyone then notices something as Ear-A-Corn gets up.)

Ear-A-Corn: W-where are we?
Randalf: The Blue Gate, entrance to the Land of Woe.
Leg-o-Lamb: The Blue Gate...
Ear-A-Corn: Why do they call it blue, you ask? Perhaps for the sorrow that blankets the land beyond.

(Everyone stares at Ear-A-Corn, confused.)

Ear-A-Corn: Perhaps for the sadness of those who toil on this cursed wall. Perhaps for the river of tears that flow from the-
Randalf: *ahem*

(Randalf signals towards the gate, which is literally blue.)

Ear-A-Corn: ...or that.

(The Fellowship approaches the gate, staring up at it.)

Grumpy: There's no handle. How are we gonna get in?
Ear-A-Corn: Look for a doorbell.
Fearless Bunny Archer: Or a doorknob.
Leg-o-Lamb: There's some kind of writing over the gate.

(Sure enough, over the gate, there's a sign with 6 symbols on it.)

Leg-o-Lamb: I can't read it.
Randalf: There are few who can. It is the tongue of Woe, and if I remember my 7th grade Diabolical Languages class, it reads, "He who seeks to pass this gate, a riddle first must solve. The answer that will seal his fate must all his wits involve. What thing with awesome strength is blessed, yet quakes before the smallest pest, stands so high, yet sniffs the ground, without so much as stooping down, has no home or chair or bunk, yet holds his bath inside a trunk? If your first guess ringeth true, passage we will grant to you. But if in error you guess, my friend, the door will bar, your journey end."
Dog ear Mouse: It said all that?
Randalf: It's a highly efficient tongue. You can fit a whole book on a napkin.
Ear-A-Corn: So it's a riddle, eh? Awesome strength....
Randalf: Yet quakes before the smallest pest....
Leg-o-Lamb: Tall, yet sniffs the ground...
Dog ear Mouse: Hmmm. That's gotta be some kind of an animal.
Ear-A-Corn: A cow!
Bouncer Warrior: A peacock!
Leg-o-Lamb: An ostrich with a suitcase!
Rabdog: A rhinoceros!
Grumpy: Bacon!

(Everyone stares at Grumpy.)

Grumpy: It's a long shot...
Randalf: We have one chance to get this right.
Sleepy: What about a bear?
Leg-o-Lamb: A vicuna!
Dog ear Mouse: A giraffe!
Ear-A-Corn: Three-ringed binder!
Bouncer Warrior: A monkey!
Leg-o-Lamb: A Vespa!
Rabdog: A lion?
Ear-A-Corn: Uh...lint!

(As they're speaking, Toto thinks to himself.)

Toto: ..an elephant...*gasp* An elephant! It's strong, but it's afraid of the littlest pest, a mouse! And even though it's tall, it can sniff the ground with it's long trunk, which also holds water when it takes a bath!
Leg-o-Lamb: Ha ha! An elephant, man, ha ha ha!
Rabdog: Hmm. You could be right, Toto. [pulls out an animal book from his bag.] I'll see what i can look up about Elephants in my animal book!

[he opens the book and turns three pages]

Rabdog: Eagle, Electric eel, here it is! Elephants! It says here elephants are one of the world's strongest animals. They have strong trunks for holding water and sniffing the ground and lifting things. And they're afraid mice.
June: That's true.
Grumpy: With bacon!

(Everyone stares at Grumpy again.)

Randalf: Alright, only one way to find out. (to gate) Is it an elephant?

(The gate then opens as the Fellowship cheers. But then they notice the door inside is too small for them.)

Grumpy: Wait a min., it's too small! We ain't gonna fit!
Ear-A-Corn: No, wait! It's a trick! It's an optimal illusion. It only looks small because it's so far away. Watch.

(Ear-A-Corn then charges towards the door, but then runs into it, making him fall over.)

Ear-A-Corn: I could be wrong.
Grumpy: Heh, maybe if you ran faster. Try it again!
Toto: How are we gonna get in?
Leg-o-Lamb: The only one who'd fit through that door is you, Toto, June and Tam.
Tam: Me, Toto and June?
June: Yikes! I'm not sure I want to go in there! What you say Toto?

(Toto thinks about it for a few seconds.)

Randalf: You don't need to do that, Toto. No one'd blame you if you just went home and put the bean in a box.
Grumpy: I knew this was a lousy idea, right from the start.
Leg-o-Lamb: Oh well. We tried, y'know. It isn't like we didn't try.
Tam: Looks like we'll have to,,
Dog ear Mouse: (angrily) Say eat the bean and I'll give you something to eat.

(Overtop this dialogue, Toto thinks again. Then he decides to go through.)

Toto: No, I wanna know what my gift is for. C'mon Tam. C'mon, June.
June: Okay.
Randalf: Toto, the lands beyond this door are filled with evil! It won't be easy.
Toto: I wanna know.
Tam: Yeah. It might have the answer.
Randalf: They say a creature lives there in, desperate for the bean!
June: How do they know for sure?
Dog ear Mouse: There are legends, and legends are never wrong.
Toto: I want to know.
Leg-o-Lamb: Maybe you could swap it for another gift, y'know, a gift exchange.
Toto: Every gift is given for a reason. We can't choose which ones we get, only what we do with them.
Fearless Bunny Archer: But, how would you know Tam would betray you and June to eat the bean.
Tam: I won't this time, i need to see there's more to this bean than meets the eye.
June: Let's go, guys.

(Toto, Tam and June then walk through the door and close it behind them.)

Randalf: Those are very brave flobbits.
Grumpy: I got dibs on his espresso maker.

(The gate doors close in front of them.)

Ear-A-Corn: Well, that's that.
Fearless Bunny Archer: What do we do now?
Grumpy: So we can go home now, right?
Leg-o-Lamb: We failed. The Fellowship failed. We were supposed to help Toto, Tam and June, and now they're in there, on their own.
Dog ear Mouse: He's right! We have to help them!
Randalf: We may yet have another chance to help them.
Bouncer Warrior: But how are we gonna do that?
Dog ear Mouse: We just need to put our thinking caps on.

(As they all start to think, they notice a guy (Charlie Pincher) on a unicycle with a fancy umbrella riding by.)

Umbrella boy: I'm a lucky fella, I'm a lucky boy! I've got a new umbrella, and it's me pride and joy! And the rain may come and the sun may go, I'll be warm and dry from me head to toe! I'm a lucky fella, I'm a lucky boy! Oy!

(The Fellowship stare at him, confused.)

Umbrella boy: I've got a new umbrella! What are you doing?
Leg-o-Lamb: Uh, we were just trying to get in.
Dog ear Mouse: Yeah. Say, do you know a way where we can get into the Land of Woe?
Umbrella boy: Oh, well all you need to do is go down a couple of miles to the Red Gate. It's wide open.
Randalf: The Red Gate? I've heard of it, but I thought it was just a myth.
Umbrella boy: Just came from there. You'll know it when you see an angry, murderous band of sporks headed through to find three small flobbits and a bean with instructions to bring them back dead or alive. Do you like me umbrella? Gotta go!

(The umbrella boy then rides away.)

Umbrella boy: Oh, I'm a lucky fella, I'm a lucky boy! I've got a new umbrella, and it's me pride and joy!
Leg-o-Lamb: Angry sporks?
Ear-A-Corn: Three small flobbits?
Fearless Bunny Archer: And a bean?
Randalf: Toto, Tam and June! We gotta beat 'em to that gate!

(The Fellowship runs off towards the gate.)

Grumpy: Uh, I think me and Sleepy will go with umbrella boy.
Randalf: Come on!
Dog ear Mouse: We don't have much time! Let's go!
Sleepy: They're right, Grumpy! this is no time to wanna be tired! Toto, Tam and June are in trouble! Come on! [runs after them]
Grumpy: Oy, and tonight was meatloaf night.

(Grumpy will reluctantly catch up. But for now the screen goes black.)

Mickey Mouse (voice over): We'll be back with more of "Lord of the Beans" after this break.

My Baby Elf[]

Announcer: And now it's time for Silly Songs with Elves, the part of the show where Ear-A-Corn comes out and sings a Silly Song for elves.

(We then see Ear-A-Corn dressed as Elvis Presley, playing the guitar.)

Ear-A-Corn: I asked my baby, my baby elf. A couple questions about myself. If I was handsome, if I was nice. I was lookin' for her advice. She looked at me and shook her head, and this is what she said:

(The girl elf (Miss Achmetha) speaks angrily in an elvish tongue as subtitles are shown at the bottom of the screen.)

Elf: (Subtitles: Do I know you? What did you say? Green one go away! Be silent! Green one! Green one go away! Go kiss a Spork! Stop that! Help!)
Ear-A-Corn: She yelled so loud, she hurt my ears. My eyes all welled up full of tears. But I don't mind none, 'cause she's my elf. My elfity, babity, babity, babity, babity, babity, babity elf. When I go walkin' all by myself, I'm busy thinkin' about my elf. I keep her picture upon my shelf. I'm always dreamin' about my elf. I won't forget the way that she says those words to me.
Elf: (Subtitles: When do you leave? Much wind pours from your mouth! Do you feel well? Are you finished? Be silent! I leave now to do laundry.)
Ear-A-Corn: Don't know exactly what she said, just know it kinda hurts my head. I'll take an Aspirin, 'cause she's my elf. My elfity, babity, boopity, babity, babity...
Leg-o-Lamb: (cuts Larry off; O.S.) Hold on a minute!

(Music stops)

Ear-A-Corn: Huh? What? What? What? What are you doin'? (Leg-o-Lamb pulls off Ear-A-Corn's fake elf ears) Ouch! Hey!
Leg-o-Lamb: I knew it, I knew it!
Ear-A-Corn: What?
Leg-o-Lamb: You should be ashamed of yourself. You're no elf, you're an elvish impersonator! You sicken me, deceitful one!

(Leg-o-Lamb takes Ear-A-Corn's guitar)

Ear-A-Corn: Oh, right. Like you're a real elf. Give the gourd a bow and arrow and he's a real elf!
Announcer: This has been Silly Songs for Elves.

(Leg-o-Lamb runs towards Ear-A-Corn with his bow and arrow.)

Leg-o-Lamb: Behold, Leg-o-Lamb! Have at thee, my bow shall sing with your pompadour!
Ear-A-Corn: Don't you point that thing at me!

(We hear a pop sound effect as Ear-A-Corn runs away with a plunger arrow on his nose.)

Ear-A-Corn: Help!

Lord of the Beans: Act II[]

Mickey Mouse (voice over): And now, back to "Lord of the Beans".

(We fade in to the Fellowship charging towards the Red Gate, with Grumpy trudging behind. Then we cut to the Sporks also heading towards the Red Gate. Finally, we fade into a forest on the other side of the Blue Gate where Toto, Tam and June are wandering by themselves)

June: This place is little scary. So how are we gonna find the Land of Woe?

(Then they faintly hear a voice calling.)

Creature: Precious.....my precious....
Toto: H-hello? Is someone there?
Tam: Who's there?

(No response.)

June: I don't see anyone. We should rest here for a second until we figure which way to go.

(Toto takes out the bean and looks at it. As he does we see the POV of a creature watching below from a tree.)

Toto: What a load of trouble you turned out to be. If I had half a mind, I'd just throw you in a ditch and be done with you. (to Tam) Here Tam, you can eat it.
Tam: No, I can't! I said i wouldn't eat it this time!
June: He's right. You have to find out what's it's for.

(The creature falls out of the tree and lands in the tall grass next to Toto and Tam.)

Creature: Oh, that's gonna leave a mark!
June: HUH?!
Toto: What's that?! Who's there?!
Creature: Oh, my precious! They stole it from me!
Toto: Who are you?
Creature: It's mine, I tell you, it's mine! Give it to me!
June: Huh? What's yours?
Creature: My precious!!

(The creature pops out of the grass to reveal himself. we find out he's played by Mr. Lunt)

Toto: You mean the bean? It's my gift, it was given to me. My friends and I are taking it to the Land of Woe to find out what it's for.
Creature: *gasp* No! Don't do that! That's a terrible place! Give it to me! I know what it's for, it's for me!!
June: RUN!!!

(The creature jumps to grab the bean, but Toto, Tam and June run away as he runs after them.)

Creature: Mine! It's mine, I tell you, it's mine! Give it to me! Give it back, it's mine!

(Toto, Tam and June hide behind a tree as the creature stops to catch his breath.)

Creature: You kids are pretty speedy, but you'll never make it by yourself. These woods are crazy! You need a guide, no?

(Toto, Tam and June realize the creature is right. Then we cut back to the Fellowship still charging towards the Red Gate.)

Grumpy: Y'know, they say you should balance out your aerobic activity with a little weight training. What say we break and do some squats?
Dog ear Mouse: That's it!! [grabs him] I've had it with you and your emotional grumpiness! Toto, Tam and June need us, we're gonna help them! Now come on! [he drags him off-screen]

(We cut back to the sporks still heading towards the Red Gate too. Then we cut to Toto and Tam walking with the creature in the woods.)

Toto: So, what's your name?
Creature: I am named for the sound that I make with my throat; Ahem!
Toto: Ahem?
Ahem: Yes? What'd you want?
Toto: Your name is Ahem?
Ahem: My name is Ahem.
Tam: My name is Tam, and these are my friends, Toto and June.
Ahem: Pleased to meet you.
Toto: So, have you always been like this?
Ahem: Oh, no. I was once a normal flobbit.
Tam: No way!
June: You were a flobbit?
Ahem: That's right! A perfectly normal flobbit named Spiegel.
Toto: Spiegel? You were that flobbit? That flobbit who bought everything mail-order?
Ahem: That was me! It's amazing what you can buy through the mail! I was a collector of labor-saving devices, but everything that I bought I had to pay for. This was a limiter to my life of ease. Then, I found it.
Toto: Found what?

(We fade to a flashback as Ahem explains.)

Ahem: I was opening a new crock-pot when I found it, hidden among the packing peanuts. It was small like a packing peanut, but it was no peanut. It was the bean. Instantly, my life was changed! No more working for anything! Whatever clothes you want, bang! You got it! Any kind of food, there it is! You want a fountain of Grape Nehi to shoot right out of the ground? No problem! A life of ease, right in the palm of my hand.
Tam: Wow! You were having the time of your life weren't you?
Ahem: You bet I was.
June: So what happened?
Ahem: To me? One day, before 10 A.M., I had created and consumed a 200-pound marshmallow Peep. Unfortunately, I fell into a sugar coma. When I awoke three days later, the bean was gone. And now look at me! I'm falling to pieces! My clothes, all gone! Even my hair is falling out!
Tam: That's a bummer.
Toto: Have you tried washing it?
Ahem: What?! And work?! Once you taste a life of ease, my friends, there's no going back.
June: Well, we're terribly sorry, Ahem.
Ahem: [sighs] It's alright. It's not your faults.
Tam: And even though we have it now we didn't take the bean. Toto's Uncle Billboy found it on his adventures.
Ahem: Oh. So now, why did you want to come to the Land of Woe?
Toto and June: Woah!
Tam: Woah is right!

(Toto, Tam, June and Ahem discover the Land of Woe, which is very dry and bland. We then cut to the Fellowship finally finding the Red Gate, as Grumpy catches up, now out of breath.)

Grumpy: Don't bother waiting up for me! Oof!
Randalf: The Red Gate!
Ear-A-Corn: ...It's yellow.
Randalf: Hm? Oh, they say it was named for the color of the sunset on the day they hung those doors. Don't be so literal!
Fearless Bunny Archer: Actually it's looks more of a Reddish Orangish color. So i'd say it's some shade of red.
Leg-o-Lamb: Randalf! The sporks!

(The Fellowship hides behind a rock as they see a small group of sporks go through the Red Gate.)

Dog ear Mouse: There's only five! We can take 'em!
Leg-o-Lamb: No problem! Grumpy? Sleepy?
Grumpy: Yeah, sure...
Sleepy: Yes!
Randalf: Alright, then. For Toto, Tam, June and the bean!

(The Fellowship charges through the Red Gate, yelling at the top of their lungs, ready to attack. However, they discover a very large group of sporks. As they're surrounded, the Other Elf notices a hollow tree with a door.)

Other Elf: I gotta go.

(The Other Elf dashes towards the tree, and goes inside. Meanwhile, everyone else is surrounded by the sporks. We then cut to Toto, Tam, June and Ahem entering the Land of Woe, as they notice how sad the people are.)

Ahem: Okay, you've seen it, time to go!
Toto: We're supposed to do something here.
Ahem: Do what? This place is no good!
Toto: I dunno. They said it would be clear. (notices a well up ahead) A well! A drink would do me good.
Tam: Me too! Because I'm thirsty!
June: Me three.
Ahem: Forget about it. It's been dry for years!
Tam: What?!
Toto: Where do they get their water?
Ahem: They don't have any. I'm telling you, this place is no good!
June: You know, maybe you might be right.

(The townspeople start crowding around Ahem, Tam and Toto.)

Villagers: Can you help us please? Please, I'm so hungry.
Ahem: Oh, this is bad!

(We then cut to the sporks crowding around the Fellowship.)

Bouncer Warrior: Oh boy.
Leg-o-Lamb: This is not good.
Randalf: While we still draw breath, hope is alive! We need a plan.
Sleepy: But what kind of plan?
Ear-A-Corn: We'll create a distraction! Rabdog do you have a banjo or an inflatable turkey in your bag?
Rabdog: Well, I'll look. [he starts looking through the bag.]
Grumpy: Did I mention it was meatloaf night? Not that this isn't fun.
Dog ear Mouse: Not helping, Grumpy.
Spork #1: Now, finish them quickly! We've got a flobbit to catch!

(All the sporks put their heads down so their points stick out.)

Ear-A-Corn: Watch out for their pointy ends!
Bouncer Warrior: Don't poke at my tail!
Leg-o-Lamb: I gotcha covered.
Fighter and Soldier Space Guy: [growls]
Grumpy: Have you ever actually fired that thing?
Leg-o-Lamb: What? Sure! Plenty of times!
Fearless Bunny Archer: I'm the one with the fire arrows!
Leg-o-Lamb: He means if have ever shooted it!
Randalf: Not a good time for arguing!

(The sporks try poking at the Fellowship, but then one of the sporks is distracted by a smell and his eyes turn blue.)

Spork #1: Something smells good.
Bouncer Warrior : I smell it too.

(All the sporks turn to see the Other Elf coming out of the tree with a plate of cookies.)

Other Elf: Who wants a cookie?
Spork #2: Huh? We ain't had nothing but maggoty bread for three stinking days!....I'd love a cookie!
Soldier Space Guy: COOKIES!

(The sporks and Soldier Space Guy dart towards the Other Elf to get some of his cookies.)

Sporks: Cookie! Cookie man, cookie man! Gimme a cookie! Mmm, me like cookie!
Other Elf: Nothing tastes better than a cookie baked in a tree!
Dog ear Mouse: Huh? Other Elf, you just,, save our lives. You are helpful after all.

(We cut back to Ahem, Tam, June and Toto in the Land of Woe, as the townspeople are crowding around them.)

Townsperson #1: Help us! Can you help us?
Townsperson #2: Please, my daughter Raelynn is hungry!
Raelynn (Kimi Finster): Yeah and i could really...[gasps]

[She sees Tam and Tam sees her and they fall in love with each other and walk over to each other]

Raelynn: Hi. I'm Raelynn
Tam: Tam's my name. You look beautiful.
Raelynn: [giggles] Well, still could you and your friends help us?
Toto: I don't think these people are evil, I think they're thirsty, and hungry.
June: Yeah, I'm thinking the same thing. Seeing how Raelynn really likes Tam.
Ahem: Okay, maybe. Let's talk some more when we're outta here!
Toto: No! That's why they sent me! They wanted me to help! I can help them!
June: And me and Tam can too.
Ahem: What?! Not with the bean, you can't! It's my life of ease! It's not for them!
Toto: It's my gift, and the elders want me to use it to help.
Tam: Yeah, we got no other choice, Ahem!
Ahem: They've got their own gifts! Let them help themselves!
Randalf: (O.S.) Toto! Tam! June!

(Randalf and the Fellowship head towards Toto and Tam.)

Toto, Tam and June: Randalf!

(Toto then sees the sporks (now happy and reformed) with them.)

Toto: Sporks! Look out!
June: Yikes!
Randalf: Don't worry about them. Turns out they love cookies!
Fearless Bunny Archer: Yep! They were just tired eating bread.
Dog ear Mouse: They're part of the fellowship now.
Tam: Well, what do you know!

(Scaryman and Mincine are seen hiding behind a house as Toto heads towards them.)

Toto: Randalf! I know why the elders sent me here!
Tam: Yeah, they want him to help!

(Scaryman captures Toto, June and Tam and puts his sword in front of him.)

Scaryman: Good thought, but wrong!
Randalf: Scaryman!
Fearless Bunny Archer: And Mincinel
Scaryman: The elders sent you here because I told them to.
Randalf: What?
Toto: What?
June and Tam: What?
Scaryman: Everyone has something they're sure they can't live without. For some, it's fame or fortune. For others, a life of ease. For a certain ancient tree, it happens to be jewels, something of which I have in abundance.
Randalf: You bribed them?
Scaryman: Yes. They got what they want, and I get what I want. Ha!
Mincine: If we want for money and power, then we will get money and.....

[She sees Dog ear Mouse and falls in love with him and he sees her too. And just like Tam and Raelynn she walks up to him]

Mincine: Hi there. I'm Mincine
Dog ear Mouse: Hi. I'm Dog ear Mouse. You look so romantic.
Mincine: You think so?
Dog ear Mouse: I know.
Tam: What's she doing? (gasps) Wait a minute.

[We see a flashback of Randalf talking about Mincine]

Randalf: And as for Mincine She's not really evil. She just wants a boyfriend.

[The flashback ends]

Scaryman: What are you doing, Mincine?! You're supposed to be helping me!
Mincine: Sorry, Scaryman. You can't tell me what to do anymore! I quit my job. I didin't really like being evil anyway. This guy here is really lovingly.
Scaryman: [growls] Fine! I'll just take the bean from these kids myself.

(Someone suddenly dashes across the screen.)

Scaryman: Use your gift to help people, how quaint! We hope you've learned your lesson, boy. Life is short. If you have a gift, use it for yourself before you've lost it and it's too late. (Scaryman pushes Toto aside and takes the bean.) Ha! Too late! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Voice: (O.S.) You're wrong, Scaryman!
Scaryman: What? Who said that?

(The person dashes across the screen again.)

Voice: (O.S.) You're wrong, Scaryman!
Scaryman: Who- show yourself! Where are you?

(We then get a POV shot of the person charging towards Scaryman, pushing him away in the process.)

Rabdog: The bean!

[The bean gets tossed in the air, and is caught by none other than Billboy Baggypants (now short and with less fancy clothes)

Toto: Uncle Billboy!
Randalf: Billboy?
Billboy: Hello, Toto, June and Tam!

(Scaryman tries to reach for his sword, but Ear-A-Corn and Dog ear Mouse block it from him with their swords.)

Ear-A-Corn: Not so fast, scary guy!
Dog ear Mouse: You are done for a long time!

(Leg-O-Lamb and Fearless Bunny Archer draws their bows and arrows and aim them at Scaryman and Soldier Space Guy aims his gun at him too.)

Soldier Space Guy: Mega will Kweesta!
Scaryman: Sporks, save me!

(The Other Elf, who's with the sporks, shakes his head.)

Spork #1: Cookieman say no!
Rabdog: They're not working for you anymore.
Scaryman: Oh, bother.

(Then we hear a trumpeting sound. June looks to see Quincy behind Billboy with a trumpet.)

Quincy: Hiya, June!
June: Quincy?
Quincy: That's me! And Leo and Annie are here too.
June: Wow! It's great to see you , but what are you guys doing here?
Leo: When we heard what you, Toto and Tam were doing we were worried sick.
Annie: So we took a shortcut here to make sure you were alright.
Tam: Oh. Well, thanks for checking on us.
Toto: Uncle Billboy! You're...short.
Billboy: Yes. Without the bean, it didn't take long.
Toto: And your clothes...
Billboy: Were for a much taller flobbit.
June: When you gave Toto the bean, you lost everything.
Billboy: Yes, I did, June. But I found so much more! Clothes and toys and fame, they all feel good for a minute, but the happiness they bring passes in a flash, like straw in a fire. When I left, I was looking for a happiness that lasts, and I found it here, of all places!
Tam: How did you do that?
Billboy: By helping, by using my gifts to help others, rather than myself. I hear you figured out what your gift is for, Toto.
Toto: I thought I had, but the elders were lying! It was a trick!
Billboy: They may have been lying, but they couldn't keep you from finding the truth. So what would you like to do with your gift?

(Billboy gives the bean to Toto.)

Toto: I want to help people.
June: So do me and Tam.

(Billboy smiles)

Leo: Go for it, June!
Annie: And you too, Toto and Tam!

[Then everyone goes to the well to see what Toto will do.)

Toto: Ready, guys?
Tam: You bet!
Toto, Tam and June: We wanna fix this land!

(Toto tosses the bean into the well, upsetting Ahem. After waiting for a few seconds, water starts shooting out of the well.)

All: Woo-hoo! Yaa!

(Randalf smiles at Toto. Then, the ground around them starts growing grass, the trees start blossoming, and the plants grow again. And flowers land on June's nose)

June: (giggles)
Leo: You, Toto and Tam did it, June!
Quincy: You three restored this land!
Annie: Mmm-hm!
June: And you wanna know the best part? Toto used his gift wisely. I'm glad I could help him.
Leo: Toto was lucky to find a friend like you and Tam, June.
Toto: (singing To Have a Gift) To have a gift is a wonderful thing! Your spirits will lift and your heart will sing.
Tam and June: Though some might use it to live like a king, he finally knows what it's for!

(A crown of flowers is put on June's head by Leo as everyone joins in the reprise.)

Billboy: At last, your gift makes you feel like a king when you see all the good and the help it can bring!
Randalf: And joy will bloom like the flowers in spring..
Ear-A-Corn, Leg-o-Lamb, Dog ear Mouse and Fearless Bunny Archer: When you finally know what it's for!
Billboy: Yes, that's what it's there for...
Sporks and Mincine: So let's say a prayer for..
All: The wonderful blessings in store.
Toto, Tam, Fearless Bunny Archer, Sleepy, June and Ear-A-Corn: When you finally know what it's for!

(As the Other Elf and Ear-A-Corn are passing out cookies and glasses of water, Grumpy gives Ahem a hairbrush. And Tam and Dog ear Mouse are hugging their new girlfriends)

Toto: When you finally know what it's for.

(Fade to black.)

Closing Countertop[]

(We fade in to see Bob and Larry by QWERTY. Larry does a circle on his unicycle in excitement.)

Larry: Wow, that was amazing! Elves and dwarves and flobbits and trees that make funny noises! I hope we didn't offend anyone.
Bob: We're over here by QWERTY to talk about what we learned today.
Singers: And so what we-

(Just as the What Have We Learned song starts, a record scratch is heard, as the sporks are seen carrying the song away, leaving Bob disappointed.)

Bob: Wh-wh?! They took the "What Have We Learned" song! H-how could they?!
Larry: But Bob, you didn't even like that song.
Bob: Well, yeah, but after a while, it kinda grows on ya.
Larry: Bob, we gotta finish the show.
Bob: Without the song, I dunno.
Larry: Okay, let's see if QWERTY has a verse for us.

(QWERTY shows Bob and Larry a verse.)

Larry: "For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. Ephesians 2:10". So God made us, and gave us our special gifts and talents so we could do good works for others! Isn't that right, Bob?

(Bob, still disappointed, gets back on track.)

Bob: Huh? Oh, right, Larry. Lots of people just use their special gifts for themselves, to make money or to get rich or famous. Helping ourselves might make us feel good for a while, but it doesn't last. Happiness that lasts is called "joy", and it comes from using our gifts the way God intended, from seeing the difference we can make to the people around us. So Dylan, maybe you'll be building houses someday for poor folks, maybe in another country!
Larry: And I'll be riding my ukulele for science!
Bob: Well, sure, or you could entertain sick kids at a hospital.
Larry: That too!
Bob: We're out of time for today! Remember...
Larry: God made you special...
Bob: And He loves you very much.
Bob and Larry: Goodbye!

(Fade to black as the episode ends. As the credits roll, we're treated to It's About Love by Wynona.)

Bonus Ending: Larry's Unicycle Race[]

(Larry using the Unicycle to entertain the kids)

Larry: It's not easy, it's really hard once you get the hang of it.

(Soon The Umbrella Boy comes in)

Umbrella Boy: Like me!
Larry: Bob, I can't wait for this Unicycle Race this upcoming week!
Bob: Well, you have to train first until the race begins.
Larry: And it's (looks at the calendar and see's the race is...) TOMORROW!?

(The next day)

Mickey: Let the race begin!

(Larry and Umbrella Boy race and it was a tie.)

Mickey: It's a tie!
Umbrella Boy: Looks like your getting the hang of it.
Larry: Yeah, but I'm working on it. Is it your umbrella?

(Umbrella Boy looks at the camera confuse as it ends)

(End of transcript)