The Veggie and Character Gang's Adventures of The Wonderful Wizard of Ha's/Transcript

Transcript[]

Opening Countertop[]

(After the theme song, we open up with Bob and Larry on the countertop. Larry appears to be rather upset.)

Bob; Hi, kids. And welcome to VeggieTales. I'm Bob the Tomato.
Larry: (saddened) And I'm Larry the Cucumber.
Bob: And we're here to...(stops and notices how upset Larry is) Is something wrong, Larry?
Larry: I'm fine, Bob.
Bob: You don't look fine. (notices Larry is holding something behind him) What's that behind your back?
Larry: Nothing.
Bob: No, there's something behind your back, Larry. What's going on here?
Larry: Oh, Bob, I'm in big trouble! See this?

(Larry reveals a toy wooden aardvark with red wheels.)

Bob: It's a... uhhh...
Larry: Aardvark. It's an aardvark, Bob. You know my dad?
Bob: The astronaut?
Larry: Yeah, the astronaut. He loves aardvarks, Bob. Just loves 'em. (pause) Have you ever been to Shipshewana?
Bob: Uh...in Indiana? The Amish community?
Larry: That's the one. It's full of craft shows. They're crazy about 'em.
Bob: What's that have to do with the aardvark?
Larry: My dad went to Shipshewana, Bob, and he bought this aardvark kit. Spent three weeks putting it together. He loves this aardvark. You pull his tail and his tongue shoots out and picks stuff up. 'Cause of Velcro, that's why.
Bob: And... the problem?
Larry: I broke it, Bob. I wanted to see how many times he could shoot his tongue out in a minute. I was up to forty-eight, when this happened!

(The tongue shoots out and doesn't retract.)

Bob: Oh, dear. What did your dad say?
Larry: He doesn't know. And I can't tell him. He loves this aardvark, Bob, and I'm afraid he won't love me anymore! I can't go back home! I just can't go back home!
Bob: Whew. Wow. You know, that reminds me of a letter we just got.
Larry: How did I know you were gonna say that?
Bob: It is our twenty-seventh show. Let's see, it was from Felix Rosenwinkel, of Grinnell, Iowa. Now Felix says he knows God doesn't want us to steal, but he's been stealing stuff anyway. He feels real bad about it now, but he doesn't think he can ever go back to church. He doesn't think God likes him anymore.
Larry: Oh, Felix. That's even worse than breaking your dad's aardvark! What's he gonna do, Bob? What's he gonna do?
Bob: He's gonna listen to the story of the Prodigal Son.
Larry: Oh, I've heard of that. But that's real short. We've got a whole DVD to fill.
Bob: It isn't short if you tell it like this. Felix, it's time to pay a visit to the Wizard of Ha's
Larry: Ooooh. Can he fix my aardvark?
Bob: Uhh, roll the film.

The Wonderful Wizard of Ha's: Act I[]

(The story begins in a dental floss farm in Kansas. As we pan across the farm, we see the farmhands (played by Pa Grape, Mr. Lunt and Larry), Pedro (played by Goofy), Joseph (played by Winnie the Pooh), and Maurice (played by Tigger), taking care of the crops. We then see a little boy named Darby (played by Junior Asparagus) and his brother Timmy (played by Tommy Pickles) running excitedly towards the farm, with his pet pig, Tutu following way behind. For some reason, Darby, Timmy, along with everyone else, calls Tutu a dog.)

Timmy (played by Tommy Pickles): Come on Darby, and Tutu!
Darby: Dad! Dad! Hey, dad! Hurry up, Tutu! Come on, boy! Tarnation, Tutu. You must be the slowest dog in Kansas.
Timmy: I'm pretty sure he's a pig.
Darby: He's my pig who acts like a dog. Dad, Dad! (To farmhand #1 who's watering the floss) Hey, have you seen our dad?
Farmhand #1: Not now, Darby. Ms. Poopsie is thirsty.
Darby: But I...
Farmhand #1: Here, Ms. Poopsie, drink up. Don't get jealous, Francine. You're next.

(While Darby and Farmhand #1 are talking, Maurice bounces up)

Maurice (played by Tigger): Hey Timmy and Darby, pals. What's up?
Timmy: We're just looking for our dad. We have something we wanna show him. Have you seen him?
Maurice: No, but he is busy at the moment.
Timmy: Okay, let us know when you see him.
Darby: (to Farmhand #2) How's the floss?
Farmhand #2: It's almost ripe.
Darby: Great!

(He enters the farm, and walks up to the third farmhand, who's busy fixing a tractor.)

Darby: Hey! Have you seen our dad? I wanna show him...
Farmhand #3: Not now, Darby. I gotta get Old Bessie ready to bring in the floss. We're gonna have a bumper crop if we can bring it in on time.

(Darby and Timmy's father: Farmer O'Gill (played by Mike Asparagus) enters the scene.)

Farmer O'Gill: ...and don't forget to check on that roll of bathroom tissue.
Darby: Dad! Dad!
Farmer O'Gill: Oh, Darby, Timmy. What is it?
Timmy: We wanna show you something!

(Jesse (played by Mickey Mouse) and Elena (played by Minnie Mouse) enter the scene)

Elena (played by Minnie Mouse): Hi, Darby, Hi Timmy, what's up?
Darby: Look at this, guys!

(Darby shows his dad a poster of an amusement park.)

Jesse (played by Mickey Mouse): What is it?
Farmer O'Gill: It's a poster for the Land of...Ha's?
Darby: Yeah!
Elena: Is that like some amusement park?
Timmy: It sure is. That's the surprise Darby's been waiting to show me and all of us.
Jesse: We've been waiting for that?
Darby: Yeah! It's an amusement park that both me and Timmy's friends Talia, and Bobby Bernard went to when they visited their cousins last week! Bobby said that they have this roller coaster that goes upside down, and even one of those bouncy castles where you jump around and you knock your heads together till you pass out!
Maurice: Wow! That sounds epic! Do they have splash rides?!
Timmy: Yep!
Elena: Do they have a Ferris wheel?
Joseph (played by Winnie the Pooh): And honey cake?
Jesse: And a Helter skelter?!
Darby: Yes, yes and yes!
Pedro (played by Goofy): Uh, what's a Helter skelter?
Jesse: A Helter skelter is a spiral shaped slide built around a tower.
Farmer O' Gill: Wow, that sounds like quite a place.
Darby: I know. Can me and my friends go, please?
Elena: I'd sure like to go there.
Joseph: Me too.
Maurice: Me three.
Pedro: Me four!
Jesse: Me five. Wait a minute, what about the crops, Mr. O'Gill?
Farmer O' Gill: Well, you know i agree it does sounds fun and all. But it says here it's very far away. And I'm afraid we just don't have the money this year to...
Darby: No, I got it all figured out, dad! We've got the piggy bank, right? You said the money you're putting in it is for me.
Pedro: Oh. did you really say you have money for him?
Farmer O' Gill: Well, yes I did. (to Darby) But, son, that's for your college, for your future.
Jesse: Oh.
Farmer O' Gill: I don't want you throwing it away on...
Darby: (disappointed) But it's not fair. You said it was my money.
Maurice: Well is there another way we can get money for that park?

(During their conversation, Joseph, Farmhands 1 and 2 start picking one piece of floss)

Farmhand #1: Hey, come give us a hand.
Joseph: On it!

(Farmhand #2 picks up the floss with a pitchfork, Farmhand #1 grabs one end, sticks a pebble in a wooden model of a mouth, and they and Joseph both pull their ends of the floss, trying to get it out. Eventually, the pebble is dislodged.)

Farmhand 1: It's ready! The floss is ready! We can pick it now, I think!
Farmer O' Gill: Fire up Old Bessie. The floss is ready!
Farmhand 3: All right!

(He gets in the tractor and starts it up. Suddenly, the tractor breaks down and, just like a clown car, falls apart, much to everyone's dismay.)

Farmhand 3: Oh, Bessie.
Elena: Well, she's gone for good.
Farmer O' Gill: Can you fix it?
Pedro: Wish we can say yes Mr O' Gill, but they don't even make parts for her anymore.
Farmhand 2: What about the floss?
Farmer O' Gill: We'll have to bring it in by hand.
Farmhand 3: But that'll take too long.
Jesse: We have to be skilled inventors to fix a beauty like this. 12 hour days, every hand we've got!
Elena: And that could take the rest of the year.
Timmy: Aw. I feel bad for you guys, don't worry, I can help you. We can fix this in no time.
Darby: But... what about the Land of Ha's?

(The wind blows the poster out of his invisible hands.)

Farmer O' Gill: Darby, son, I'm sorry. Maybe next year.
Darby: But the bouncy thingy.
Elena: Darby, we have to help. He's trying so hard to get Bessie to work. Think about him, think about your friends instead of a park.
Farmer O' Gill: I'm sorry, Darby, but Elena's right. We're farmers. Crops have to come first.
Darby: But guys, it's not fair! Why don't I get to do what I want to do?
Elena: Because you are simply too young Darby. The world is very big. You could get hurt or something.
Darby: I don't care! I'm done with this lousy farm!

(Farmer O' Gill watches as Darby storms off in a huff.)

Timmy: He's just upset dad. He doesn't mean it.
Farmer O' Gill: (sighs) You know what Timmy? You're right. (to his employees.) It's been a long day. Go home to your families. We've got a lot of work to do tomorrow.
Elena: You know, guys? I think Darby really hurt his dad's feelings.
Jesse: So do we.

(As the farmhands load up their truck, Darby continues sulking.)

Darby: Pick the floss, pick the floss. (scoffs) Man, I never get to do anything I wanna do.

(Farmhand 3, Pedro and Joseph walk up to Darby to talk to him.)

Farmhand 3: We know what you're thinking. You're wishing you could be somewhere else. Somewhere over the rainbow. I was just like you once. I wanted to go--
Darby: Over the rainbow? How would I go over a rainbow? It's water droplets refracting sunlight.
Pedro: Well, we just meant...
Darby: No Pedro, the place I want to go is...beyond the barn.
Farmhand 3: Come again?
Darby: Beyond the barn. Across Kansas and all the way to the Land of Ha's.
Joseph: Oh.
Farmhand 3: Right. Well, remember how much your dad loves you, Darby. You and Timmy really are lucky kids.

(Farmhand 3 gets into the pickup truck as it starts up. As it pulls away. Then Timmy, Jesse, Elena, and Maurice go to talk to him too.)

Elena: Darby. I know that you want to go to the Land of Ha's, But you need to help us with the floss. And that's no reason to be rude to your dad.
Darby: But Elena, (singing) How can I be lucky if I'm missing out on all the fun? Life should be a party but the hotdog's fallen from my bun. Somewhere beyond the barn. Far from this lousy farm. I'll find my happiness, I'll do what I like best. Somewhere beyond the barn.
Elena: Oh Darby, cheer up. He loves you, but you have to accept that it's gonna take us long time to get our fortune back.
Timmy: Yeah. But if you help us with the floss maybe we could get it done faster and you could get your own money for the Land of Ha's.
Darby: Well, uh....

(Then stronger wind blows up.)

Darby: Change in the winds.

(Just then, a lady dressed like Mary Poppins floats in on her umbrella.)

Lady: This isn't London, is it? (Darby shakes his head) Sorry! (As she's carried away by the wind again, Tutu starts barking at someone approaching the farm)
Darby: What is it, boy?

(That someone is Bobby Bernard (played by Gourdon) and Talia (played by Angelica), rolling along the path on their scooters and wearing a shirt that reads on the back "I went to the Land of Ha's and you didn't! Ha ha!")

Darby: Tutu, stop that barking! Oh, hi, Bobby and Talia.
Bobby: Hey, Darby and Timmy. We told you your dad wouldn't let you and your friends go!
Talia: Yeah! You guys are really 10 X 100 poor!
Darby: He said he would too let us go! Just not this year, 'cause of the floss.
Elena: Yeah. Besides we're not poor! We're just,, cheap.
Pedro and Joseph: Cheap?
Elena: Well what i mean to say is "We don't have enough money right now." Anyway, Bobby and Talia, Stop saying that stuff, He is gonna let us to go! Besides we make a lot of money. But we're just paused right now.
Talia: Oh Bobby, are you sure about that?
Bobby: Of course not! He don't want you to have fun.
Darby: That's not true! He loves me very much!
Timmy: Yeah! So stop with these lies! Love is forever!
Talia: Really? You know, why people break up and divorce?

(The five try to think)

Pedro: Because, they're having a tough time?
Talia: No! They don't love each other anymore, dog!
Bobby: Yeah! Love can even comes to an end. Listen, kid. Love has its limits. Do what you wanna do-- do something he don't like, then see how far his love goes. (he and Talia start to leave) It's now or never, pipsqueaks! Get wise, get some money and go have some fun!
Talia: You'll be dumb baby brains, if you miss your chance!

(Tutu growls at Bobby and Talia as they roll away laughing. As Darby starts to think, the wind blows his poster back to the farm. After it hits him in the face)

Timmy: Don't listen to them! Everything they say is untrue and unimportant!
Elena: Yeah! So think about your apology to your dad and see back in.

(They walk back to the farmhouse as Darby looks at his poster and continues his song having made up his mind.)

Darby: Somewhere beyond the barn. Far from this lousy farm. I'll find my happiness. I'll do what I like best. With no one as my boss, No smell of dental floss. Out from my father's nest, I'll do what I like best. I'll go somewhere beyond the barn.

(Early the next morning, Darby takes the piggy bank with his college money and leaves the farm just as the weather turns bad. Tutu follows close behind. But Timmy, Jesse, Elena, Pedro, Joseph and Maurice notice him and follow him.)

Darby: We should have done this a long time ago, Tutu. Now we'll do what we wanna do.
Timmy: Darby, what are you doing?
Maurice: Is that your college money? Where are you even going little asparagus?
Darby: To The Land of Ha's to meet the Wizard himself and his partner Fernando.
Elena: Darby! Please! Just go back! Your dad will be mad at you for a long time!
Joseph: Well, i don't know about for a long time, but...
Darby: No! I'm done with this. Aren't you tired of doing nothing? Do you want a break for once in your life?
Jesse: Well yes we do, but,,
Darby: Well let's go! You guys can come if you want.
Pedro: Well yeah but..(thunderclap) Some storm!

(Tutu squeals as he notices a tornado heading their way)

Darby: What is it, boy? (sees the tornado) Tornado?! Uh oh!
Maurice: It's a twister! It's a twister!
Darby: Guys, what are you supposed to do if you're caught outside by a tornado?

(Tutu jumps down into a ditch.)

Darby: Tutu, get out of that ditch and help me remember!
Jesse: (annoyed) Really Darby?
Darby: What do you do? (notices a trailer) You go inside! Come on, guys! Come on, Tutu!
Elena: Oh, boy.

(Darby, the others and Tutu walk up to the trailer and get inside as the tornado heads closer to them.)

Darby: We'll be safe in here, guys. We're inside!
Pedro: I don't know if...

(The trailer shakes and rattles.)

Darby: Is it over? (notices the telephone pole.) Hey, look! A telephone pole, going down. Now why would a telephone pole be going down? Unless we were going up?! (Darby realizes his mistake as the trailer is picked up by the tornado.)
All: Whoa!
Darby: Hang on, guys! (As they float through the twister they see other things the twister picked up, including a cow, the Mary Poppins lookalike, Bobby, and another gourd who looks like Bobby riding a bicycle that resembles the Tiger Bike from Sumo of the Opera.) This is getting weird, Tutu!
All: (Screaming)

(At last, the trailer starts falling. After it lands, Darby and Tutu step out and see a fully-colored town that looks like it's made up of sweets.)

Darby: Tutu, guys I have a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore.
Elena: Haven't i heard that line before?

(Notices their trailer landed on and crushed a red halftrack with shark teeth.)

Darby: Oh, my. (quoting "Larry-Boy! And the Fib from Outer Space!" and "Madame Blueberry") What do you suppose that is?
Maurice: Beats me.

(The truck's jaws open and let out smoke and three peas who jump around happily, while speaking French. The peas are very grateful that Darby set them free.)

Munchie 1 (played by Jean-Claude): Hello.
Darby: Hallo.
Munchie 1: You have freed us!
Darby: We.. what?
Munchie 2: You broke zee Muncher weeth your leetle hut from zee sky.
Darby: I don't understand.
Munchie 1: If only they were here. They would explain.
Munchie 3: Look, it is she!

(A purple-blue ball flies into the town.)

Jesse: Who is that?
Munchie 1: Ho ho! Tres bon! She'll explain everything.
Darby: Is there a beautiful fairy inside that big round ball?

(Two fairies (played by Madame Blueberry and Daisy Duck) reveals themselves.)

Splenda: No, a beautiful fairy and her assistant are that big round ball.
Sofia: (paining her back) You're telling me! (feels better) Ow! That was painful.
Darby: Oops.
Elena: Sorry about him. Who are you two?
Splenda: I am Splenda the sweet but non-fattening fairy.
Sofia: And I am Sofia, the wise fairy that will give you wisdom and how to find your way. These cute little creatures are the Munchies and you are in Munchieland.
Darby: Munchieland?

(Munchie 2 hold up a bowl of candy.)

Munchie 2: Oui! Care for a snack?
Darby: No, thank you.
Maurice: I'll have some!
Splenda: The Munchies think you fell from heaven in your shiny hut, but I know the truth. It is a starship that brought you across the galaxy to save these sweet ones from the evil Munchie Muncher.
Darby: (confused) A star-what? The Munchie-who?
Jesse: I think she said a starship. And a Munchie Muncher?
Splenda: But now you and your starship have destroyed it and you are their hero.
Darby: Ma'am, it's not a starship. It's an old trailer.
Splenda: Yes, lovely. (starts to sing) Come out little munchies and meet the brave sailor who sailed past the stars in his rocket-ship trailer!
Darby: It's just a plain old trailer!
Splenda: He crossed the wide sky-- past moons by the bunch sir, to save our dear friends from that nasty old muncher.
Elena: Oh, my!

(The munchies all come out to greet their hero. Soon, Darby is approached by the mayor and his assistant)

Mayor: We thank you, sir.
Assistant: We thank you sir.
Mayor: For saving our dear friends, who would have met a most unpleasant..
Assistant: Most unpleasant...
Both: End.
Mayor: Had you not happened by in your trailer in the sky. A song about your exploits...
Both: Will be penned.
Mayor: That means written. What is your name?
Darby: Darby.
Mayor: Darby. Can you think of anything that rhymes with 'Darby?'
Assistant: Uhh, Furby?
Mayor: Got any other names?
Darby: Nope. Just 'Darby.' This is my brother: Timmy. And these are our friends. Jesse, Elena, Maurice, Joseph and Pedro. And my pig dog Tutu.
Mayor: (sigh) We'll make the most of it.

(The Munchies sing another song. It starts out slow at first.)

Munchie 4: His name is Darby, and he's our hero.
Munchie 5: I like my Barbie, but I'm no weirdo.
Munchie 6: Like Dana Carvey, (pulls out a photo of said actor)
Munchie 4: Robert De Niro, (he does the same thing) His name is Darby, and he's our hero.

(All the munchies sing together as the song's pace picks up)

All: His name is Darby, and he's our hero. I like my Barbie, but I'm no weirdo. Like Dana Carvey, Robert De Niro, His name is Darby, and he's our hero. His name is Darby, and he's our hero. He swept across the morning sky, And poked the muncher in the eye. So lift him up and toss him high! Strike up the band, Darby's our man!

(Suddenly, the Munchie Muncher spits out smoke and a computer screen pops out. The munchies panic. The screen show Two bullies (also played by Gourdon and Angelica)

Bully: Who destroyed my Munchie Muncher? Huh?! Who was it?!

(As the munchies sing the song again, Darby tries to shush them, but to no avail.)

Munchies: He swept across the morning sky, And poked the muncher in the eye. So lift him up and toss him high! Strike up the band, Darby's our man!
Darby: Shh! Cut it out! Knock it off!
Bully: Oh, it was you, was it?
Darby: Do I know you two?
Pedro: You two look like two of our friends back home.
Bully 2: Well doesn't matter! We're going to tease your ears!
Bully: Yeah! That's what We're gonna do!
Timmy: We like to see you try!
Bully: You're gonna pay for this, your friends, and your little dog too! (as the duo laugh evilly, smoke fills the room) Enough with the smoke!

(The computer shuts down.)

Sofia: Oh dear.
Splenda: Oh, you have nothing to worry about. If he shows up again, you can just drop your starship on him.
Darby: (skeptical) Right.
Jesse: It doesn't actually fly, it just a house car, what you need another car to drag.
Sofia: You can trust me when I say, it can be used for good.

(She winks at Jesse. Several munchies surround Darby and his friends with bowls full of candy.)

Joseph: What are you doing?
Munchie 7: Offering you snacks, are you hungry?
Joseph: For honey, yes.
Munchie 8: I don't know what honey is, but we've got Crisp-O's.
Munchie 2: Cheez-Wits.
Munchie 7: Toodle-Doots.
Maurice: Don't mind if I do.
Jesse: Dibs on the Cheez-Wits.
Darby: Guys. Thanks, but I'm not very hungry. You see, we're trying to get here. (shows his poster.)
Splenda: The Land of Ha's. Delightful.
Sofia: Been there so many times.
Elena: You have?
Sofia: (Falls in love voice) Yes to visit this man name Fernando. He is so perfect.

(Everyone looks at her and Sofia controls herself.)

Sofia: *clears throat* But still. We know this place like by the back of our hands.
Darby: Do you know how to get there?
Splenda: Oh, yes. You need Yellow.
The Seven: Yellow?
Sofia: Yes. Yellow also knows this place very well, and been to them all.

(They fly over to a Gingerbread house.)

Splenda: Mm hm. Let's see if he's home.

(Splenda knocks the door)

Splenda and Sofia: Yellow.

(An elderly, yellow toad wearing Scottish attire opens the door.)

Yellow McToad: Yellow.
Jesse: Yellow?
Splenda: Yes-- Yellow McToad. He's very old, but he will lead you to the Land of Ha's
Darby: So, all we have to do is--
Munchie 7: Follow old Yellow McToad!
Munchie 8: Follow old Yellow McToad!
Munchie 2: Follow old Yellow McToad! Ho ho!
Munchie 9: Follow old Yellow McToad!
Darby: You guys are kinda freaking me out.
Splenda: Look, there he goes!
Maurice: That's so easy!

(Everyone, except Darby, sings another song)

Everyone: Follow Old Yellow McToad, Happily hopping his way down the road. Follow Old Yellow McToad down to the land of Ha's. Follow Old Yellow McToad. He'll never stop once he leaves his abode. Follow Old Yellow McToad down to the land of Ha's. Follow Old Yellow McToad. Corn will be planted and hay will be mowed. Follow old Yellow McToad down to the Land of Ha's.

(everyone looks back and sees that he only just got down the stairs.)

Yellow McToad: (croaking) Yellow.

(Splenda rolls her eyes, picks him up and takes him to the entrance of the town.)

All: It's time to see the wizard, The whimsical wizard of Ha's. With food and rides and games galore, you'll have some fun you'll want some more. It's time to see the wizard. The whimsical wizard of Ha's.

(Darby and the gang says goodbye the the munchies as he leaves the town and starts their journey. As they walks past a candy corn field while humming, they hears a voice)

Scarecrow: (offscreen) Hey, you.
Scarecrow's brother 1: (offscreen) We need your help, doc. We are so bored.
Darby: Huh? Who said that?
Scarecrow: (offscreen) Got any comic books?
Darby: Who is it?
Scarecrow's brother 1: (offscreen) Up here, doc.
Scarecrow: (offscreen) GameBoy? iPod? Blender? Magnetic chess? Pocket Scrabble?
Darby: Talking candy corn? (finally comes across the source of the voice) No, wait. The Scarecrows?

(The Scarecrows (also played by Mr. Lunt and Bugs Bunny) is revealed.)

Scarecrow: Yeah, it's us. The Scarecrows.
Scarecrow's brother (Bugs Bunny): And his brother, Straw-Bugs. Any magazines? Other than Farm Digest or Bird Fancy?
Joseph: I've never seen talking Scarecrows before.
Darby: What seems to be the problem?
Scarecrow: The problem, as you can see, is that I am stuck on a pole with nothing to do.
Elena: You're a scarecrow. You're job is to keep the birds from eating the crops.
Jesse: Yeah. What's wrong with that scaring some birds?
Scarecrow: I'm a bag on a stick! I keep waiting for a train to come by and grab me with a hook!
Darby: So, you're a little bored?
Maurice: He's one hundred percent, bored.
Straw-Bugs: We're bored out of our brains!
Timmy: Well why you took this job?
Scarecrow: We didn't! We left home to have some fun, and somehow we got a little hung up. I'd rather be anywhere but here!
Straw-Bugs: Me too, doc!

(Elena notices the toad walking further away.)

Elena: Look! There he goes!
Darby: Oh-- We gotta keep going. We're following a toad, and I don't know how to get him to stop.
Scarecrow: A toad?
Darby: It's a long story. We're going to the Land of Ha's.
Scarecrow: The Land of Ha's? The funnest place on Earth? I've always wanted to go there!
Straw-Bugs: Me too! I love to ride the bumper cars, doc!
Scarecrow: Yeah! And they've got that ride that spins you 'round and you stick to the wall and then the bottom drops out! I love that!
Darby: You two could come with us!

(Scarecrow and Straw-Bugs smile, but they quickly disappear.)

Scarecrow: Yeah, but that place isn't cheap. And we scarecrows don't carry a lotta cash.
Darby: I could pay for you two. I've got plenty of money.
Jesse: Yeah and I do have a bag of coins.
Elena: You do?
Jesse: Yeah. I found it in my bedroom before we left. Besides I really wanted go there really bad too.
Elena: Oh. Well as long as one of us has some money too I guess it's okay.
Straw-Bugs: Yippee!
Scarecrow: You guys are our new best friends! Can you help us down?
Darby: Sure. Hold still.

(Darby pulls down until the Scarecrows are flung from the sticks and onto the ground.)

Straw-Bugs: Thanks, doc.
Darby: You're welcome.
Scarecrow: Let's see the wizard! Follow that toad!
Straw-Bugs: Let's go, docs!

(As they do, they sing.)

The Nine: It's time to see the wizard, The whimsical wizard of Ha's. With food and rides and games galore, you'll have some fun you'll want some more. It's time to see the wizard. The whimsical wizard of Ha's.

(Suddenly, Scarecrow runs into something metal)

Scarecrow: Ow.
Darby: Scarecrow, are you all right?
Scarecrow: I ran into a metal wall.

(We see he actually ran into a metal cucumber (also played by Larry the Cucumber) and a metal girl (played by Lilo)

Jesse: You ran into TWO metal statues. Make that tin.

(Scarecrow bumps the Tin Man.)

Scarecrow: Watch where you're going!
Elena: And I don't think they're statues.
Darby: And I don't think they were going anywhere. He's rusted.
Straw-Bugs: Tin man and girl, doc.
Darby: Rusted.
Tin Girl: (muffled) Help us.
Tin Man: (muffled) Oil can.
Scarecrow: Huh? Boil spam? He wants us to boil some spam. I've heard of guys like this.
Tin Man: (muffled) Oil can.
Tin Girl: (muffled) Help us. Oil can.
Scarecrow: Boil your own spam!
Darby: Oil can. They need their oil can.

(Runs over to the red oil can that's feet away from the Tin Man and Tin Girl for some reason.)

Scarecrow: Oh, oil can. Right. That makes sense.

(Darby oils the Tin Man's and Tin Girl's joints until they can fully move.)

Tin Man: Thank you. That's much better.
Tin Woman: Thanks, new friends. It feels good to be moving.
Darby: You two were really stuck.
Maurice: Yeah, what's the scoop, rusty kids?
Tin Man: Oh, I'm not a kid anymore. Pa says I'm a man.
Tin Girl: That's why we left home. To seek adventure.
Pedro: Adventure huh?
Timmy: Doesn't look like it's going so good.
Tin Man: It was going fine. But after a half-hour, the walking part got old. After an hour, we were bored to tears.
Jesse. Hence the rusting?
Tin Man: Yep.
Darby: Well, now that you're moving again, I guess you can go back home.
Tin Girl: Oh, no! We must seek adventure!
Scarecrow: Have you considered a career in telemarketing?
Tin Man: No, it's roller coasters I'm looking for!
Straw-Bugs: Roller coasters huh?
Tin Girl: And it's swing rides I want! They swing you up high.
Darby: We're going someplace with roller coasters and swing rides! (shows poster) The Land of Ha's!
Jesse: You can come if you want.
Scarecrow: Hope you brought some money, 'cuz fun has a price.
Tin Man: The tinsmith forgot to give us pockets.
Tin Girl: What he means is we don't any money at the moment.
Darby: I have enough money to pay for all eleven of us. (Tutu makes a confused grunt)
Tin Man: You mean it?
Tin Girl: Really?
Darby: Sure I do!
Jesse: So do i!
Tin Man: Woo hoo!
Tin Girl: Hooray!
Scarecrow: Well, what are we waiting for?

(All eleven start singing.)

All: It's time to see the wizard, The whimsical wizard of Ha's. With food and rides and games galore, you'll have some fun you'll want some more. It's time to see the wizard. The whimsical wizard of Ha's.
Scarecrow: La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la!

(We fade to black)

Minnie Mouse: (V.O.)"The Wonderful Wizard of Ha's" will continue after this break.

Monkey[]

(Silly Songs with Larry begins. The title card shows Bob and Larry in a jungle.)

Narrator: And now it’s time for Silly Songs with Larry, the part of the show where Larry comes out and sings a silly song. Today Larry and Bob were on a photo safari, hot on the trail of a monkey...or an ape. We don’t know which, hence the song.
Larry: If it doesn’t have a tail, it’s not a monkey Even if it has a monkey kind of shape If it doesn’t have a tail, it’s not a monkey If it doesn’t have a tail It’s not a monkey, it’s an ape! If it doesn’t have a tail, it’s not a monkey
Bob: Let’s see if we can catch it on the tape!
Larry: You can very plainly see if it’s a monkey If it doesn’t have a tail It’s not a monkey, it’s an ape!
Bob: Look, there it goes, there it goes, I don’t know, I can’t tell if it’s a monkey or an ape!
Larry: It’s very simple, Bob...If it doesn’t have a tail it’s not a monkey If it doesn’t have a tail It’s not a monkey, it’s an ape!
Bob: Larry, I’m not so sure...
Larry: Ooga booga, isn’t that a monkey?
Bob: Booga looga, maybe it’s an ape!
Larry: If it’s a nickel or a salad or a pillow If it doesn’t have a tail It’s not a monkey, it’s an ape!
Bob: If it doesn’t have a tail?
Larry: It’s not a monkey!
Bob: Are you sure that’s what you really mean to say? A camera has no tail!
Larry: It’s not a monkey If it doesn’t have a tail It’s not a monkey, it’s an ape!
Bob: I think there’s something wrong with your logic, Larry...
Larry: Well Bob, the lady at the zoo said it, and who am I to tell her that she’s wrong? If there’s a tail, it’s a monkey. No tail; ape. It’s easy!
Bob: But Larry... a kite has a tail!
Larry: Then it’s a monkey
Bob: A comet has a tail!
Larry: It’s a monkey
Bob: A bubble doesn’t have a...
Larry: Then it’s not a monkey, If it doesn’t have a tail It’s not a monkey...
Bob: It’s an ape?
Larry: Exactly! I knew you’d catch on!
Bob: Larry, we might need to talk about this. I don’t think the lady at the zoo meant...
Larry: Shh! (they duck down) Look, there it goes! In the trees, follow me! It’s gotta be a monkey or an ape! I can’t believe it’s true All this time, I’ve searched for you Snap the picture, Take the shot! We’re among the lucky few! We finally did it, Photographer! We’ve discovered what we’re after! Let me look! Is it an ape?
Bob: Larry... this is a disaster.

(they are standing next to a cow)

Larry: It’s a monkey!

(The flashing caption reads "NOT A MONKEY.")

Bob: Ahem, Larry...that’s a cow. Not a...
Larry: That was exhilarating! Let’s find more! If it doesn’t have a tail, it’s not a monkey Even if it has a monkey kinda shape If it doesn’t have a tail, it’s not a monkey If it doesn’t have a tail It’s not a monkey, it’s an ape!

(As Larry sings this part again, Bob just tosses his camera away.)

Narrator: This has been Silly Songs with Larry. Tune in next time to hear Bob say...
Bob: Larry, you don’t have a tail.
Larry: I don’t?
Bob: Nope. And neither do I.
Larry: I wouldn’t be so sure about that, Bob.
Bob: Uh, what do you mean?
Larry: Oh, nothing.

(Bob starts to walk off...he has a tail)

The Wonderful Wizard of Ha's: Act II[]

Minnie Mouse: (V.O.) And now, back to our story.

(Back to the story as Darby, Timmy, Jesse, Elena, Joseph and Maurice and their newfound friends walk through the forest)

Scarecrow: So, guys, where are you from?
Darby: Kansas.
Tin Man: No kidding. I have a cousin in Kansas.
Scarecrow: Oh, hey, me too. He looks just like me, minus the straw.
Elena: Really?
Scarecrow: Of course.
Pedro How about that?
Maurice: Yeah, what are the odds?

(They go further into the forest)

Joseph: After all this talking, I forgot where we suppose to go.
Pedro: We just follow the toad. Remember?
Joseph: Oh, yeah.
Tin Man: So, what color is this toad again?
Scarecrow: You mean Yellow McToad?
Tin Girl: Yeah, Yellow McToad. What color is he?
Scarecrow: Yellow. He's yellow.
Tin Man: Oh, like his name. Clever.
Maurice: Why else would he be called Yellow McToad.

(As they go even further into the forest, Darby starts to worry.)

Darby: Is there anything dangerous in these woods?
Scarecrow: A friend of mine was in these woods, and he says he saw a fella from Toledo!
Tin Man: You mean...an Ohian?
Scarecrow: Yep.
Tin Man: Well, my uncle says he saw one of those guys who play that little flute in the army.
Straw-Bugs: A fifer?
Tin Man: Uh huh.
Scarecrow: Oh, boy. Not to make matters worse, but I met a fella who knew a guy who says he saw.... a mommy horse.
Darby: (gasp)
Jesse: A Mare?
Scarecrow: Yep.
Tin Girl: Oh, boy. This is getting me worried.
Pedro: Me too.
Scarecrow and Straw Bugs: Ohians...
Tin Man and Tin Woman: And fifers...
Scarecrow and Straw Bugs: And mares!
Darby: Oh, my!
Scarecrow and Straw Bugs: Ohians...
Tin Man and Tin Woman: And fifers...
Scarecrow and Straw Bugs: And mares!
Darby: Oh, my!

(They repeat this about five times until they see a lion (also played by Pa Grape) and a cheetah (played by Kimi Finster)

Lion and Cheetah: Rooaaarrrrr!!

(Darby and his friends run around screaming)

Tin Man: It's an Ohian!

(They run into each other and fall down.)

Lion: What? No, it's 'lion."
Cheetah: And i'm a,,,uh,,oh right, a cheetah.
Tin Man: Oh, lion. (gasps) Lion?!
Tin Girl: (gasps) And a cheetah?!

(they all scream again)

Lion: Oh, stop! We're not tryin' to scare ya.
Timmy: [Pops out from a tree] You aren't?
Lion: No. We're just hungry.
Tin Man: A hungry lion?!
Maurice: A hungry cheetah?!

(they all scream once again)

Lion: No, no! We're not going to eat ya. We're just having fun with ya, on account of being so bored.
Cheetah: Yes. We are sorta, bored.
Maurice: Oh. Phew! I was scared there for a minute.
Darby: But why are you two so bored? I mean, the lion there. He's the king of the forest.
Lion: Yeah, ya know, I left home to become king. Sounded like fun, but in these modern times, the forest is actually run by a representative government. I'm a figurehead. Smile and wave, smile and wave. Boring!
Cheetah: Plus there's no decent food around here.
Scarecrow: These woods are full of rabbits and squirrels.
Lion: (breaking the fourth wall) Yeah, but they won't let me eat 'em. Children's film.
Cheetah: Plus. We eat normal food.
All: Oh.
Lion: You know what I'd really love? Cotton candy! Try to find that in the forest.
Cheetah: As as for me, i'm for toffee apples. I can just taste the sticky candy stuff on them just thinking about it.
Pedro: (to Darby) Aren't we going someplace that has cotton candy and toffee apples?
Darby: Why, yes! Yes we are! Wanna go to the Land of Ha's?
Tin Man: He's buyin'.
Jesse: Me too.

(Suddenly, Yellow McToad appears from behind the bushes, tumbles down a hill, shakes it off and continues walking.)

Scarecrow: (offscreen) Hey, it's the toad!
Straw-Bugs: What are we waitin' for, docs? Come on!

(All thirteen sing as they continue their journey)

All: It's time to see the wizard, The whimsical wizard of Ha's. With food and rides and games galore, you'll have some fun you'll want some more. It's time to see the wizard. The whimsical wizard of Ha's.

(Once they're out of the woods, they see their destination.)

Jesse: There it is!
Maurice: The Land of Ha's.
Tin Man: Funnest place on Earth.
Darby: Now I finally get to do what I wanna do! Come on! I'll race you 'cross this field of flowers!
Goofy: Okay.
Cheetah: (quickly) On your mark, get set, go! (takes off fast)
Tin Girl: Hey, no fair, Cheetah!
Joseph: Wait for me!
Female singers: Now we see the city and it's looking very pretty, and we're happy and we're hopping and the fun is never stopping.

(Tin Man notices something strange about the flowers.)

Tin Man: Hey, I don't think these are flowers.
Scarecrow: I think you're right.
Darby: These aren't flowers at all. They're....(upon close inspection, they're actually...) puppies.
Lion: Puppies?

(Puppies wearing flower collars run and jump around.)

Darby: A whole field of puppies.
Scarecrow: Puppies.
Tin Man: I love puppies!
Elena: Me too!
Maurice: Me three!
Cheetah: Me four!
Tin Girl: Me five!
Darby: They're so cute.
Pedro: I want one!
Scarecrow: We can't stop now!
Lion: The cotton candy, the rides!
Joseph: The honey cake, the games!
Straw Bugs: The bumper cars, the swing ride!
Tin Man: Oh, puppies.
Darby: Just a few minutes.

(Lion gives Darby a little push)

Lion: No time for puppies! We're so close!
Jesse: Stay strong!
Scarecrow: (while pushing Tin Man) Stay on target! Stay on target!
Female singers: Now we see the city and it's looking very pretty, and we're happy and we're hopping, for the puppies, we're not stopping.

(As the thirteen friends continue their journey, we see they're actually being watched by the bullies.)

Bully 1: (evil laugh) Excellent. Looks like we need to take a little trip to the Land of Ha's.

(We see they have two onion friends dressed like evil minions.)

Minion 1: Oooh. Can we ride the roller coaster?
Bully 2: And can we ride the ferris wheel?
Bully 1: No, we're not gonna ride the--
Minion 2: What about that spinny ride where you stick to the wall?
Bully 1: I said no! No rides!

(As they leave the room, we see two munchies in a jail cell. At last, Darby and his friends reach their destination. As they stare at the entrance, the Wizard (played by Archibald) and Fernando (played by Donald Duck) show up.)

Wizard: Ah ha! Welcome, travelers, to the Land of Ha's! Funniest place on Earth! Ha ha ha ha! (points his cane to Darby) Tell me. What do you want to do?
Fernando: Anything for you, and your friends. Including the baby, the mice, the dog, the bear, the cheetah, and ,, whatever the orange fella is.
Maurice: I'm a Tigger!
Darby: Well, the Lion wants cotton candy. And the Cheetah wants toffee apples. And the Tin Man wants roller coasters. And the Tin Girl want swing rides. And the Scarecrow, he wants one of those rides where you spin and the bottom falls out.
Wizard: Oh, my.
Straw-Bugs: And I want the bumper cars.
Fernando: What about the baby, the mice, the dog, the bear, and the tigger?
Maurice: Pedro and I want the splash rides.
Joseph: I want some honey cake.
Jesse: And me and Elena will take the Helter skelter and Ferris wheel.
Wizard: All right. [to Darby] And what about you and the baby, sir?
Darby: Well, I just...I just wanna do whatever I want!
Timmy: Me too.
Wizard: [gasps]
Fernando: Did you say "Whatever you want?"
Wizard: (bonks Fernando in the head with his cane) Of course he said that! (to Darby) Then you've come to the right place! Ha, ha!
Fernando: Follow us!

(Darby and his friends enter the amusement park and approach a turnstile.)

Fernando: Oh! But, first.
Wizard: There is the topic of financial remuneration.
Tin Man: Remuni-whoonie?
Maurice: Bacon?
Joseph: Honey?
Cheetah: Bunny?
Darby: Uh, what?
Wizard: Money. Getting what you want has a price, you know.
Fernando: You do know nothing comes for free.
Darby: Oh, right.
Maurice: Do you still have the piggy bank, Darby?
Darby: Sure do.
Jesse: And i have my coins.

(Darby pulls out the piggy bank, and Jesse gets his bag of money. Fernando and the Wizard grab them. The Wizard pulls out the cork, and pours the money into a slot and Fernando pours the money from the bag in the slot, which makes the meter light up.)

Wizard: And now,
Fernando: The moment you've been waiting for,,
Wizard and Fernando: Whatever you want!

(Everyone enters the Land of Ha's. As they all have a good time in the amusement park, the Wizard and Fernando sings about all the fun they can have while going down a Helter Skelter slide just as Jesse wanted.)

Wizard: With a Ha-Ha-Ha and a ho-ho-ho, You'll have fun fun fun as you go go go. (on a balloon swing ride as Tin Girl wanted) With a ho-ho-ho and a hoo-hoo-hoo, Every thrill thrill thrill just for you you you.
Fernando: (He gives Lion cotton candy, Cheetah a toffee apple and Joseph honey cake) And you'll eat a lot of candy as you ride the rides so dandy. (on a Ferris wheel just as Elena wanted) Do as much as you can stand-y and a little bit more.
Wizard: You'll go around again in the blender you will blend. And the fun will never end like it did before. (Now they're on the spinning ride Scarecrow wanted. Next, they're on a roller coaster, just as Tin Man wanted.)
Both: And you'll hop hop hop then you'll drop drop drop. Never stop stop stop, there's no time to pause. Don't need mom or dad, they might think it's bad, All the fun you've had in the land of Ha's.

(After Darby and his friends get a photo of them with a statue, the money meter starts to go down. As the song repeats, its pace picks up. Darby and his friends are shown on a boat ride, just as Pedro and Maurice wanted. After that, they ride the same rides as before. During this, Tutu becomes quite exhausted.)

All ten: With a Ha-Ha-Ha and a ho-ho-ho, We'll have fun fun fun as we go go go. With a ho-ho-ho and a hee-hee-hee
Darby: Every thrill thrill thrill just for me me me
Offscreen Singers: And we'll eat a lot of candy as we ride the rides so dandy. Do as much as we can stand-y and a little bit more. And we'll go around again in the blender we will blend.
Lion and Offscreen Singers: And the fun will never end like it did before
All Thirteen: And we'll hop hop hop then we'll drop drop drop. Never stop stop stop there's no time to pause
Darby and Offscreen Singers: Don't need mom or dad, they might think it's bad, All the fun we've had in the land of Ha's
Lion: Again!

(As the song repeats one more time, the rides move a lot faster, Darby and friends get dizzy, and the money meter goes down further.)

Offscreen Singers With a Ha-Ha-Ha and a ho-ho-ho, We'll have fun fun fun as we go go go. With a ho-ho-ho and a hee-hee-hee, Every thrill thrill thrill just for me me me. And we'll eat a lot of candy as we ride the rides so dandy, Do as much as we can stand-y and a little bit more. And we'll go around again in the blender we will blend, And the fun will never end like it did before. And we'll hop hop hop then we'll drop drop drop, Never stop stop stop there's no time to pause.
Everyone: Don't need mom or dad they might think it's bad, All the fun we've had in the land of Ha's

(Finally, the money meter goes down completely as Darby and his friends exit the park. His friends look rather queasy.)

Darby: That was great!
Jesse: (in pain) I don't feel good.
Maurice: (dizzied) I feel tired.
Straw-Bugs: I feel shaken.
Pedro: Me too.
Tin Girl: Me three.
Joseph: I think I had enough fun, (burps) for one day.
Cheetah: Me too. (burps)
Fernando: There's no such thing, as enough fun!
Elena: There's not?
Darby: We can have fun here forever! Right?
Fernando: Of course.
Darby: So don't you have one of those bouncy castles where you jump around and you knock your heads together?
Wizard: My boy, you've only scratched the surface of the whimsical Land of Ha's! (Points to a second gate) Through this gate, you'll find even more thrills, chills and delicious dessert items.
Darby: Great! Let's do it, guys!
Jesse: No.
Darby: What you mean no?
Jesse: I mean no means no more. No more fun, no more rides, no more water.
Maurice: Count me in.
Tin Man: I'll be right there.
Jesse: My head hurts, I feel like I need to sleep.
Tin Girl: Me too.
Scarecrow: Right after I catch my breath.
Lion: We're not as young as you. Oy.
Darby: I'll check it out first. (He tries to enter, but the turnstile remains stuck.) It won't open. Why won't it open?
Fernando: (noticing the empty slot) Oh, I see the problem.
Wizard: Oh, yeah. I forgot. You simply need to make another deposit. Fun has its price.
Fernando: Said this once, say it again "Nothing is for free."
Tin Man: You've got more money, right?
Darby: No, I don't have any more. (saddened) That was everything.
Tin Man: Oh.
Tin Girl: Aw. I really wanted to ride more rides. After I took I rest for a few minutes that is.
Lion: To be honest, my tummy ain't feelin' so good.
Joseph: Mine too.
Cheetah: Mine three.
Lion: My mother had this tea she'd give me when my stomach was upset. I kinda miss her, come to think of it. I'm gonna go back home.
Cheetah: Me too. But thanks, Darby.
Maurice: Ya know guys, I miss the nice comfortable pillows, and beds back at the farm. I'm gonna find a way back.
Pedro: So am i.

(The Lion, Cheetah, Pedro, Joseph and Maurice leaves the Land of Ha's. The rest of Darby's friends do the same.)

Scarecrow: You know, I think I've had enough spinning to last me a while. I'm going home, too.
Straw-Bugs: Me too. I've had enough bumping to last me for today.
Tin Man: The roller coasters were great. Thanks, Darby. But.... I miss my mom and dad.
Tin Girl: Me too. But thanks for the swing ride, Darby.
Darby: C'mon guys. You gotta at least..
Elena: No Darby! You've ran away, you hurt the people you care for, and done enough! You have brought shame and dishonor to your father. You shouldn't let Bobby and Taila get the best of you, but you did! If this is where you and Timmy wanna stay, then find a way to get some more money yourself. And you can find some new friends cause me and Jesse are going back. So GOODBYE!

(She and Jesse leave. Darby and Timmy are alone. As they watch their friends leave.)

Fernando: Wow. That was just,, sad.
Wizard: I'll say.
Darby: What now?
Fernando: I guess, just do the same.
Darby: What?
Wizard: Go home, sons. There's nothing for you here.
Timmy: You know. They're right, Darby. You have to apologize to our dad, and make things right.
Darby: (sadly) Home.

(He starts to think about what Farmhand 3 and Bobby told him before thinking about what he said and did.)

Farmhand 3: Remember how much your dad loves you, Darby.
Bobby: Love has its limits. Do what you wanna do-- do something he don't like, then see how far his love goes.
Darby: I don't care! I'm done with this lousy farm!
Farmer O' Gill: But, son, that's for your future. (echo)

(Back to Darby)

Darby: I can't go home. My dad could never forgive me for what I've done. I can't go home.
Timmy: Come on, Darby. Our dad's probably worried sick about you and me.
Darby: You maybe. But not me after what i did. (to the Wizards) Can't you two let me try some more rides? You said I could do what I want.
Wizard: You're out of money, kid.
Fernando: The rule book of the Land of Ha's says "No one is not allowed to go on rides, unless they pay for them and fill up the time meter. If they want more, they have to pay again. If they don't have any money, they must,,"
Darby: Must what?
Fernando: Must leave. So sorry, but you have to leave. Besides i agree with Timmy here, you must apologize to your dad. And he probably is worried sick about you.
Darby: But you two can do anything! Both of you are wizards!

(The Wizard removes his wacky glasses, as Fernando removes his Merlin mask)

Wizard: Look, kid-- We're not really wizards. There's no magic here. We're just a business men trying to make a living.
Fernando: Besides, we need money to pay taxes, bills, checks,.
Darby: But the poster said this is "the funnest place on Earth!"
Fernando: And it is.
Darby: (angry) Are you sure? Because right now, I'm not having very much fun! Am i?

(Two tourists (played by Jimmy and Jerry Gourd) approach the Land of Ha's.)

Jimmy: (offscreen) Does it look like it's open?
Jerry: Um.... I think so.
Wizard: New customers! Not now, kid.
Jimmy: I can't wait to see what kind of food they've got.
Darby: (angered) This place is a joke!
Wizard: Please don't do this!
Darby: This was supposed to be fun! Stay away, everyone! The wizard...he just wants your money! (The wizard pulls a lever releasing a huge ejector trap.) Oh, I see! You wanna get rid of me! Well, you'll get rid of me alright! I'm gonna go and tell everybody how much this place stinks! (Wizard pulls another lever, releasing a steel colander, but that doesn't stop Darby either.) And then, I'm gonna make sure everybody knows...
Wizard: So long, kid.

(He pulls one more lever. This one opens up a trap door which Darby falls right down.)

Darby: Whoa!

(Wizard chases after Tutu and Timmy as Fernando try to stop him.)

Wizard: And now, you two. Here, puppy, puppy!
Fernando: Wizard stop!
Wizard: (Tutu runs past Jimmy and Jerry.) Ah, ha, ha, ha. Welcome, travelers, to the Land of Ha's! Funniest place on Earth!

(As Tutu and Timmy runs off to look for help, The Bullies watch from behind the bushes. Cut to the friends.)

Elena: Such a ungrateful child.
Joseph: You know? Even though Darby didn't care about how any of us or his dad felt, I think we should go back for him and Timmy.
Pedro: Me too.
Elena: Joseph, Pedro, you can't be serious. After what he did to his dad?!
Jesse: Elena, they're right. Darby's our friend, and we helped him....
Timmy: Guys! Help!
Jesse: Huh? (notice Timmy and Tutu) Timmy! Tutu!
Tutu: (pig noise)
Maurice: I think Tutu's trying to tell us something. What is it boy?
Timmy: Darby is in trouble. We gotta save him.
Friends: (gasp)
Pedro: Oh, no!
Elena: Oh, we should've never left him alone!

(Cut to Darby as he finds he's landed in a garbage dump.)

Darby: Tutu? Timmy?! Oh, dad, I'm so sorry.

(The Bullies comes to laugh at Darby.)

Bully 1: Ha, ha, ha, ha! Boo hoo! I miss my daddy! Ha, ha, ha, ha!
Bully 2: Waa, Waa! I am gonna cry! Ha, ha, ha, ha!
Darby: What do you two want?
Bully 1: We want you to know-- to know what it feels like to be alone, but it looks like you're taking care of that yourself. Enjoy your new home! Come on, minions.

(As they leave, Darby sings.)

Darby: (singing) Somewhere beyond the barn. Far from my father's arms. It's what I thought was best. Didn't see how I was blessed. Now I'm somewhere beyond the barn. (talking) How could I have been so foolish? Even my dad's farmhands have it better than this! (starts to think) That's it! I'll go back to my dad and I'll ask him for a job. I don't deserve to be his son anymore, but maybe he'll hire me to work on the farm. Now how do I get out of here?
Tin Man: Perhaps I can be of assistance.
Darby; What?
Elena: Darby!
Scarecrow: Hey, there.
Jesse: What's up?
Tin Man: How's it going?
Joseph: Hello there.
Pedro: Are you okay?
Darby: I'm fine, but, how did you guys find me?
Tin Woman: You've got your brother and pig dog to thank for that.

(Timmy and Tutu show up, happy that Darby is alive and well.)

Elena: Oh, Darby. We're so sorry. We never should've left you and Timmy alone.
Darby: It's okay. But you guys we're right. I've been so foolish to my dad. I wanna go home now.
Jesse: Well, don't you worry, pal. We're gonna get you out of there. But how?
Tin Man: We need a helicopter, 200 yards of steel cable, and a pound and half of margarine.
Maurice: I've got a bouncy tail. I can bounce to get him.
Lion: (sarcastically) I'll check my pockets.
Tin Man: No, wait! The window has a latch. (he tries to grab it, but due to his lack of hands, he can't) I can't reach it.
Scarecrow: Hey, I've got an idea. Unstuff me.
Lion and Tin Man: Huh?
Darby's friends: What?
Scarecrow: Unstuff me. I'm full of straw. Take half the straw out and you can squeeze me through the bars. No, really! It'll work!
Straw-Bugs: Are you sure, brother?
Scarecrow: Yes I am.

(Lion and Tin Man reluctantly do so.)

Lion: I don't feel good about this.
Scarecrow: (giggling) It kinda tickles! Okay, I think that'll do it. Now push me through. (Turns sideways so he can slip past the bars. He gets past, but because he's almost flat as a pancake, he wobbles uncontrollably.) I'll get the latch. I feel kinda light headed. (He successfully reaches the latch) Got it! Now push on the window! (Tin Man does so.) No, wait!
Tin Man, Tin Girl, Lion, Cheetah, Straw-Bugs and Darby's friends: Scarecrow!

(Thankfully, Scarecrow's nose got caught on the door.)

Scarecrow: Saved by a nose!
Cheetah: So, how do we get down?
Jesse: Hey, the pile of straw! We could jump onto it!
Scarecrow: That's no pile of straw, that's me!
Lion: Oh, you're right. Mind if we jump on you?
Scarecrow: Be my guest.

(Tin Man and Lion jump down and land safely. Scarecrow lets go of the door and floats down gently like a leaf.)

Scarecrow: I'm an angel.
Elena: You're saved, Darby!
Darby: Great! Now we just need to get back up to the window. (looks up at Tutu)
Lion: In our defense, I don't think your dog fully explained the situation to us.

(Tutu runs off to find a rope. Meanwhile, Scarecrow picks up the straw.)

Scarecrow: Can someone give me a hand? I'm all over the place.

(Tutu comes back with a rope.)

Tin Man: That'll work. (After they escape from the dump, they make their way through the halls) This way!

(Suddenly, they come across the bully's minions)

Darby: Minions!

(They turn and flee.)

Minion 1: It's the boy! Get him!
Minion 2: You can't get away from us!

(They all come across the wizards)

Wizard: I thought I got rid of you!
Pedro: Next idea?
Tin Man: Try the front door?

(As they head for the exit, the Munchie Muncher, now apparently repaired very quickly, blocks the door.)

Darby: Ahh! The Munchie Muncher!
Wizard: Ahh! I'm outta here!
Fernando: Nope. (He hits Wizard in the face with a rolling pin)

(The minions corner the nine friends as the bullies approach them)

Scarecrow: It's those strange boys!!
Bully 1: (evil laughter) Now you're gonna get it! You and all your friends are gonna wish you were back at that dump!

(Darby sees a janitor (played by Charlie Pincher) mopping. He picks up the bucket and throws water at bully 1. This makes bully 1 cry.)

Scarecrow: Are you.....Are you melting?
Bully 1: No, but I'm all wet. What you go and do that for?! I wasn't gonna hurt you!
Bully 2: Now you are gonna..!

(Suddenly, the bullies mom (played by Penelope) enters, angry. Here, we find out their names are Chester and Figg.)

Mom: Chester! Figg! Chester, Figg, where have you two been? We've been looking all over for you!
Chester: Mom?
Mom: Why are your friends dressed like....like evil minions? Why was your closet full of these munchies?
Figg: Uhh, well

(We see Chester's dad (played by Oscar), surrounded by munchies, looking very unamused.)

Dad: You'd better have a good explanation for this, young kids.
Chester: But....
Figg: Well, Dad, uh.
Dad: Boys, put down those mops. You could put an eye out. (they do just that) We'll talk about this later.
Mom: Come on home, Chester and Figg. And don't forget, you two need to finish packing. We're going to your cousins Bobby and Talia's in Kansas.

(Chester and Figg leave.)

Chester: Oh, you can go. Sorry.
Figg: Yeah. We're just trying to have fun.

(Scarecrow, Straw-Bugs, Tin Man, Tin Girl Timmy, Jesse, Elena, Pedro Joseph, Maurice, Cheetah, Lion and Darby cheer)

Scarecrow: We can all go home!

(Tin Girl notices Darby is still homesick.)

Tin Girl: Don't you wanna go home, Darby?
Darby: I don't even know how.
Elena: Oh, right. How are we gonna get back home?

(One of the Munchies sees Splenda and Sofia approaching.)

Munchie 10: Oh, look! It is Splenda and Sofia! Perhaps they can help.
Scarecrow: Who is that?
Splenda: You want to go home, don't you?
Darby: More than anything!
Elena: Yeah. He needs to face up to what he did. Can you take us there?
Splenda: No, but I have something that can help you and your friends, Darby.
Darby: Tutu, too?
Splenda: Tutu, too.
Tin Man: They wouldn't be shiny red slippers, would they?
Splenda: No, silly. (She pulls a rope and this brings back the trailer) I brought your starship back to you.
Darby: Oh, terrific.

(Splenda opens the door.)

Splenda: Now come along. Get inside. Don't dilly dally.
Munchies: Get in the trailer, fellows. Come on.

(Darby, Timmy, Jesse, Elena, Pedro, Joseph, Maurice, and Tutu get into the trailer)

Darby: (offscreen) Okay. Now what?
Splenda: It's your starship. You should know.
Darby: (offscreen) Ummmmm...
Splenda: I have it. Just say "We want to go home. Click (3x).
Sofia: *mumbling* Where is it?
Darby: (offscreen) Ma'ams?
Elena: (offscreen) Are you sure?
Sofia: Trust us.
All: (offscreen) We want to go home. Click (3x)

(Splenda pulls a lever, and the trailer is launched into the sky.)

Darby: Thank you for your help! We'll miss you all very much!
Elena: Bye everyone!
Jesse: See, ya real soon!
Maurice: Ta, ta for now!
All six: Goodbye! Come back anytime!
Fernando: Since I'm quitting this job, what do I do now?

(Sofia pokes his shoulder and opens an umbrella to kiss him)

Fernando: (satisfy) Aw yeah.

(The trailer flies out of Munchieland and back to Kansas. Cut back to the farm as Farmer O' Gill stands outside the farmhouse. Farmhand 3 walk up to him.)

Farmhand 3: We've searched everywhere within 100 miles. There's no sign of him or Timmy or the others anywhere.

(Farmer O' Gill looks down sadly. Just then, he sees Darby, Timmy, Jesse, Elena, Pedro, Joseph, Maurice and Tutu in the distance.)

Farmer O' Gill: Darby?
Darby: I'll just say "Dad,-- Oh, um, Mr. O' Gill... Farmer O' Gill, sir."
Farmer O' Gill: Darby!
Darby: I was wondering if I could have a job. If I could work for you...

(As he thinks, Farmer O' Gill happily runs to greet his son.)

Farmer O' Gill: Darby!
Darby: Farmer O' Gill, sir, I was wondering if you needed any--

(Before he can finish, his dad picks him up.)

Farmer O' Gill: Darby, my son!

(Farmhands 1 and 2 walk up to see what's going on.)

Darby: Umm.....I could work!
Farmer O' Gill: My son. My son. And you too Timmy. (The Farmhands, Timmy, Jesse, Pedro, Joseph and Maurice watch happily. Although Elena is a teeny bit confused) Don't just stand there, (to Timmy, Jesse, Elena, Pedro, Joseph and Maurice) you guys, get a cake! Get ice cream! Get balloons! (to the farmhands) And you three! Go rent one of those big bouncy castles! We're gonna have a party!
Farmhands 2 and 3: All right! I'll get right on it! Right away! You got it!
Timmy, Jesse, Pedro, Joseph and Maurice: Hooray, Hooray! We're gonna have a party! I love parties! Who gets the balloons?
Farmhand 1: I don't get it. Didn't he run off and spend all the money?
Elena: Yeah. How could you not be mad at him?
Farmer O' Gill: (too happy to be upset about that) Because i had a feeling and i prayed that my son would come back and he did. My son was lost, but now he's found. He was dead to me, but now he's alive again. Besides while you guys were gone we bought a new cheap floss picking tractor so we're gonna be able to pick the floss on time after all so we got our fortune back. So join the party!
Farmhand 1: Okay.
Elena: Alright then. Besides I love parties too. (They walk off to help the others)
Darby: Dad, I'm sorry.
Farmer O' Gill: I know, Darby. I know. It's okay.

(As they hug, the farmhands return with the bouncy castle and Timmy, Jesse, Elena, Joseph and Maurice return with the Cake, Ice cream and Balloons. Darby and his dad are then seen playing on the bouncy castle.)

Male singers: I love you today and I love you tomorrow. I love you as deep as the sea. I love you in joy and I love you in sorrow. You can always come home to me. You can always come home, Always come home, Always come home to me.
Farmer O' Gill: I love you, little mister.
Darby: And I love you, big mister.

(And the story ends as they hug again.)

Closing Countertop[]

(Cut back to the countertop as Larry is now in a more positive mood.)

Larry: Oh, man, Bob! That was the happiest ending ever!
Bob: I'm glad you liked it, Larry.
Larry: He even got to jump on the bouncy thingy!
Bob: Yep, it all worked out.
Larry: Let's watch it again!
Bob: I don't think we have time for that, Larry. We're over here by Qwerty to talk about what we learned today.

(As the song plays, Bob puts on earphones to block it out, despite the fact he has no ears.)

Singers: And so what we have learned applies to our lives today. God has a lot to say in His book.
Larry: Can we just watch the ending again?
Bob: No, Larry.

(Bob puts his earphones back on as the song concludes)

Singers: You see we know that God’s word is for everyone and now that our song is done we'll take a look.
Larry: What about the bonus features?
Bob: Larry, we need to finish the show.
Larry: Sorry. Can I watch it with the sound down?
Bob: No! Darby took his dad's money and ran away from home because he thought it would make him happier. But being away didn't make him happier, and after what he did, he was afraid to come back-- afraid his dad wouldn't love him anymore.
Larry: But what's that have to do with us?
Bob: Well, you see, the story of the Prodigal Son is about how much God loves everyone. Jesus told that story to teach us something about God.
Larry: You're losin' me, Bob.
Bob: Let's see if Qwerty has a verse for us.

(Qwerty turns on and shows the verse, which reads....)

Bob: " How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God. 1 John 3:1." Darby's dad in the story is like God. And Darby, he's just like Felix and everyone else for that matter. What Jesus was telling us in His little story about a father and a son is that God's love has no limits. It goes on forever. No matter what you've done, no matter how far you've run away, you can always come back to God. And when He sees you coming, He'll pick you up and He'll just keep hugging you.
Larry: So, what about my dad and the aardvark?
Bob: Well, Larry, your dad loves God and he loves you. I bet he'll show you the same kind of love.
Larry: Oh, good. 'Cause the other day I was playing with his chameleon.

(After he pulls out said toy, one of its eyes pops off.)

Bob: Maybe you need to be a little more careful.

(the other eye pops off.)

Larry: Oops.
Bob: Well, Felix, you can always go back to God. He can't wait to see you.
Larry: And remember, kids, God made you special.
Bob: And He loves you very, very much, no matter what.
Larry: See you next time.
Both: Goodbye!

(As the end credits roll, Scarecrow sings "Over the Rainbow.")

Scarecrow: Somewhere over the rainbow, way up high, There's a land that I heard of once in a lullaby. Somewhere over the rainbow, Skies are blue
Tin Man: Skies are blue.
Scarecrow: And the dreams that you dare to dream, really do come true...
Lion: Heh-heh, he's right!

(As the song continues, Scarecrow is lifted off his post and carried away by a blimp piloted by Yellow McToad.)

Scarecrow: Someday I'll wish upon a star And wake up where the clouds are far behind me. (talking) Goodbye clouds! (back to singing) Where troubles melt like lemon drops. Away above the chimney tops, that's where you'll find- (After running into a chimney, birds circle his head.) Mee-ugh.. Me! Somewhere over the rainbow, blue birds fly (talking) There they go now. (as he continues singing, Yellow McToad cuts the rope, causing Scarecrow to fall onto a rainbow and slide down it until he's back on his post.) Birds fly over the rainbow, why, oh why can't I? (talking) Tweet-tweet! Tell my mom I'll be right here!

Bonus Ending: Larry apologizes to his dad for breaking his aardvark[]

Larry: Hey dad. I'm sorry.
Larry's dad: For what?
Larry: I broke,, this.

(Shows the broken aardvark.)

Larry: It's your aardvark. I just want to see the tongue in action, but I then broke it. I'm sorry.
Larry's dad: Larry. That's your aardvark I was gonna give to you on your birthday.
Larry: What?!
Larry's dad: Yes. My aardvark is in my closet, and I'm still trying to figure out how to work the tongue.
Larry: That explains a lot.

(End of transcript)