Here's the transcript for the episode Time Out Luigi/Too Hot to Handle.
The Plumber Rap: Part 1[]
Mario: Hey, paisanos! It's the Super Mario Bros. Super Show!
[theme song]
[Singers]
We're the Mario Brothers, and plumbing's our game
We're not like the others who get all the fame
If your sink is in trouble, you can call us on the double
We're faster than the others, you'll be hooked on the brothers. Uh!
H-hooked on the brothers
Gimme gimme, gimme gimme!
Yo, you're in for a treat, so hang on to your seat
Get ready for adventure and remarkable feats
You'll meet Koopas, the Troopas, the Princess and the others
Hanging with the plumbers, you'll be hooked on the brothers!
To the bridge!
Uh, uh!
I said-a h-h-h-h-hooked on the brothers!
The brothers!
The brothers!
Time Out Luigi: Part 1[]
Luigi: Take that, you duck! And that! Oh, yeah, you wise guy, mess around with quick draw Luigi? Behind the back! Under the legs! Behind the ear! I think I zapped my ear off.
thud
Luigi: Oh! Hi, can I help you?
Angelica: Perhaps it is I who can help you, sir. I am Angelica, mysterious salesperson for Weird and Spooky Gadgets Incorporated. This is your lucky day.
Luigi: Wow!
Mario: We don't want nothing.
Angelica: Do you gentlemen wish you owned a crystal ball that predicts the future? With ninety-nine and nine tenths accuracy?
Mario: No, no, no, no, no, I want one that works 100%.
Angelica: That's a pain to clean, anyway. How about a strange and eerie painting, that gets older while the owner stays eternally young. I'm talking about 90 year old baby faces, fellas.
Luigi: Wow! How much?
Angelica: Today only $14.50.
Mario: How much for a painting with a 40 year old baby face?
Luigi: Will you forget about it?
Angelica: How about a wristwatch?
Luigi: Oh, a wristwatch. Is it waterproof, shock resistant, and self-winding?
Angelica: And who needs all that when you have strange and mysterious?
Luigi: Well, looks OK to me. How much?
Angelica: 10 bucks.
Luigi: 10 bucks for strange and mysterious? I'll give you five.
Angelica: It's pretty eerie too. How about seven?
Luigi: How about four?
Angelica: Okay, rob me, but you won't be able to sleep at night.
Luigi: Oh, don't worry, lady, I sleep pretty good. Here you go, four bucks.
Angelica: It's a pleasure doing strange and mysterious business with you galoots. Try taking a broom to this floor once in a while.
Luigi: Wow! What a bargain, four bucks!
Mario: Oh, sure bargain, no wonder! You just bought a watch that runs backwards.
Luigi: Backwards? What are you laughing at?
(Fades to black to a commercial bumper.)
Mario [vo]: The Super Mario Bros. Super Show will return.
Mario [vo]: Now back to the Super Mario Bros. Super Show.
The Plumber Rap: Part 2[]
[upbeat music]
Here we go, yo!
It's the Mario Brothers, and plumbing's their game
Found the secret warp zone while working on the drain
Lend the Princess a hand in the Mushroom Land
Join the action with the plumbers, you'll be hooked on the brothers!
Now, evil Koopa and his Troopas are up to misbehaving
They kidnapped the Princess; Mushroom Land needs saving
Amusing and confusing, everybody discovers
They can't help but be hooked on the brothers. Uh!
Too Hot to Handle[]
(The episode opens to a tropical volcano island.)
Mario: (narrating) Plumber's Log, number 8-10. Lava Land, the island of Waki-Waki. The Great Fire God had promised to help us save the Mushroom Kingdom, from King Koopa. And we were looking for some friendly natives, who could lead us to him.
(The Mario Gang hop across the water on wooden planks and reach the island. Some Mushroom natives, who wear leis and tropical shirts, see them, cheer, and walk over to them. One of the natives, Scooter, puts a lei on Princess Toadstool.)
Scooter: Hi, Princess babe! I'm Scooter, leader of the aloha people. Welcome to Waki-Waki, the island of paradise.
(A tremor surprises everyone, and they freak out.)
Mario: I hope someone's mixing up a mozzarella milkshake!
(People start running away.)
Scooter: No, it's an earthquake! Run for it! The Fire God summoned again!
(An earthquake happens, and the ground starts breaking apart.)
Princess Toadstool: Oh, no! Waki-Waki's cracking up! Help!
(Princess Toadstool is standing over a crack, which is getting bigger. She falls in and screams, but Mario catches her with a roped plunger and pulls her up.)
Mario: I got you, Princess!
Princess Toadstool: Oh, thanks, Mario, that was nearly the end of me!
(The volcano starts to shake.)
Luigi: Suffering spumoni! That Fire God's sure acting strange!
(A binocular/periscope is watching the islanders from inside the top of the volcano. It then looks at Mario and the gang. King Koopa is in a room inside the volcano, watching the island at a control panel. With him is Fry Guy, some Shy Guys, and Waki-Waki himself, a native who's stuffed in a large bottle.)
King Koopa: Those pitiful plumbers are falling hook, line, and plunger for my plan to trap the Princess!
Fry Guy: What should I do with the real Fire God?
King Koopa: Keep him on ice until that miserable Princess is mine! Then you can throw him into the lava machine!
Fry Guy: Hot stuff! I can't wait!
(Fry Guy presents King Koopa with a microphone.)
Fry Guy: You ready for your broadcast, as the fake Fire God?
(King Koopa takes the microphone.)
King Koopa: I'm always ready for sneaky business.
King Koopa: (through the microphone) Attention, Aloha people! This is your Fire God. Princess Toadstool, must be thrown into the volcano at sundown. Or the great volcano will explode and destroy your island!
(King Koopa's voice comes out of a speaker on a statue of Waki-Waki. He then puts down the microphone and goes back to the control panel.)
King Koopa: I love being rotten. (snickers)
(King Koopa pulls a lever, which turns on a furnace-like machine in the next room.)
Fry Guy: The lava machine's ready for full destruction, your Koopaness.
King Koopa: Then let's keep the heat on!
(Cut to outside the volcano, where everyone is looking up at the smoke that is coming out.)
Scooter: (gulps) You heard him, dudes. Our island's sunk unless we sacrifice the Princess.
(The crowd talks amongst themselves.)
Mario: This is a trick! That's not your Fire God, it's King Koopa! I'd recognize that voice anywhere!
Scooter: Sorry, dude! But we gotta do what our Fire God tells us!
(Scooter grabs Mario.)
Scooter: Grab the babe and throw the others into a pit!
(Two natives grab Luigi and Princess Toadstool.)
Princess Toadstool: Let go of me!
(Another native grabs Toad.)
Toad: Let go of me!
(The Mario Bros. and Toad tossed into a pit.)
Mario: Cut it out!
(They hit the bottom.)
Toad: Ow!
(Two natives tie up Princess Toadstool.)
Princess Toadstool: You're making a big mistake!
Scooter: Take her to the top of the volcano and throw her in!
(The two natives then carry Princess Toadstool away.)
Mario: Come on! We gotta save the Princess, before they cook the goose!
Toad: It's leaping time, Luigi!
(Mario stands by a wall. Toad jumps onto his head, and Luigi gets onto Toad's. Mario jumps up, and Luigi grabs onto the top of the pit, with the others hanging on. Mario climbs up Toad and Luigi to the top and helps them up. They then run off to the volcano. Meanwhile, King Koopa is watching them through the binocular/periscope again.)
King Koopa: Curses! Here come those budinski plumbers again!
(King Koopa turns around to the Shy Guys.)
King Koopa: Koopa Pack, attack!
(The Shy Guys run off. Cut to the Mario Bros. and Toad, who are walking up the volcano.)
Mario: Hey!
(Mario sees an Ostro off to the side.)
Mario: Come on, we'll get there faster if we ride!
(Mario jumps on the Ostro.)
Mario: Giddy up, ostrich! Giddy up!
(Cut to the top of the volcano, where Scooter and another native are holding Princess Toadstool.)
Scooter: Ready, Bingo?
(Scooter and Bingo begin to shake Princess Toadstool back and forth.)
Scooter: A-one, and a-two--
Bingo: Dude, uh, wait, wait, wait. Didn't the Great Fire God say to sacrifice her at sundown?
Scooter: You're right, dude. We don't wanna upset the Big Kahuna anymore than he already is. We better wait.
(King Koopa spies on them through the binocular/periscope.)
King Koopa: What are those idiots waiting for?
Fry Guy: Sundown, your nastiness, like you told them.
King Koopa: Just because I said it, doesn't mean I meant it!
(Cut to the Mario Bros. and Toad, who are riding up the volcano on the Ostro. Some Shy Guys who are waiting nearby throw Bob-ombs at them, but they all miss.)
Mario, Luigi, and Toad: Yikes!
Luigi: Lucky linguini! A pineapple patch!
(Luigi points to a pineapple patch up ahead.)
Mario: Let's fight fire with fruit!
(When they reach the patch, the Mario Bros. get off and start picking pineapples. Luigi throws one to Toad.)
Toad: A pineapple a day keeps the Shy Guys away!
(The Mario Bros. and Toad throw pineapples at the Shy Guys. King Koopa is spying on them.)
King Koopa: Here comes the Mario Brothers to rescue Princess Toadstool and I've got two mush brains waiting for sundown! I'll fix those freaks!
(King Koopa picks up the microphone.)
King Koopa: (through the microphone) At the sound of the tone, the time will be: sundown. (raspberry) On with the sacrifice!
(Cut to the top of the volcano.)
Scooter: Cool! Must be an early sundown. Time for your lava bath, Princess!
(Scooter and Bingo pick up Princess Toadstool as the Mario Bros. and Toad approach them on the Ostro.)
Mario: Stop! Don't drop the Princess!
Scooter: Sorry, dude, we take our orders from the Fire God.
Princess Toadstool: Yipe!
(They toss the Princess into the volcano. A Shy Guy who's standing on a ledge above the lava catches Princess Toadstool and runs into a cave.)
Mario: It was all a trick! Koopa's got the Princess!
(Fades to the control room, where King Koopa's looking at Waki-Waki. Princess Toadstool is there as well.)
King Koopa: My favorite dish: Fire God under glass. And now to rid myself of the Mario Brothers once and for all. Prepare the lava machine!
Princess Toadstool: You rotten reptile! You're disgusting!
King Koopa: I know, heh heh, that's why I like me so much.
(Fry Guy pulls a lever and the volcano starts shaking. The song of the instrumental version of "Motor City" starts up. The Mario Bros. and Toad run down the volcano as lava starts to flow down from the top. The three of them stop for a moment.)
Luigi: Yo, Mario! Got any ideas?
Mario: Yeah! Leap for your lives!
(The three of them run off again, with the lava right behind Toad. Fades to a commercial bumper.)
Mario [vo]: Be right back, paisanos.
Mario [vo]: We're back, paisanos.
Toad: Bad news, Bros, it's about to get hot, hot, hot!
(The three of them run down and reach the statue. Mario grabs one of the statue's hands. His weight pulls down the arm and the mouth opens up, revealing a secret entrance.)
Mario: Hey!
(Mario climbs into the mouth, and Luigi and Toad follow and watch as the lava flows past. The song ends. Mario turns around and notices a staircase going down. Later, they are walking through a cavern full of pipes.)
Toad: What are those red-hot pipes doing inside this volcano?
Mario: Smells like they're carrying that lava that was chasing us.
Luigi: I'll bet Koopa's behind this.
Mario: Come on, we'll trace these pipes down and find out.
(Cut to the control room.)
King Koopa: Prepare the lava boat for my gateway with Princess Toadstool.
Fry Guy: Yes, your royal nastiness.
(Fry Guy goes over to some Shy Guys, who are standing next to a deflated inflatable raft.)
Fry Guy: Inflate the fireproof lava boat!
(Two of the Shy Guys inflate the raft with bellows. The Mario Bros. and Toad enter the room with the lava machine.)
Mario: Hey, this must be the machine that makes the lava. Shh.
(The three of them hide behind a corner.)
Fry Guy: The fireproof lava boat is ready to sail, your meanness.
King Koopa: Now you're cooking, Fry Guy. Once the Princess and I are safely away, set the lava machine to bury the island!
(The Mario Bros. and Toad walk off.)
Mario: Toad, you gotta keep Koopa busy for a few minutes.
Luigi: What are we gonna do?
Mario: We gotta re-plumb Koopa's evil plan!
Toad: Leave it to me, guys. I'll keep Koopa hopping!
(Toad runs off. Mario lifts up a tile in the floor, revealing a compartment full of various tools.)
Mario: Good thing Koopa's workmen left these behind.
(Mario takes and puts on a pair of lava proof gloves.)
Mario: Monkey wrench!
(Luigi hands Mario a monkey wrench from the compartment.)
Luigi: Monkey wrench.
Mario: Hacksaw!
(Luigi hands Mario a hacksaw.)
Luigi: Hacksaw.
Mario: Fool Koopa.
Luigi: Fool Koopa.
(Luigi picks up a mallet and begins to bang on a pipe, while Mario cuts away at it with the hacksaw. Cut to the control room.)
Princess Toadstool: You're not as smart as think you are, Koopa.
King Koopa: Oh, no? My plan has been perfect!
(Toad runs in.)
Toad: That's what you think, stoopa Koopa!
(Toad runs by King Koopa, knocking him over, and sticks his tongue out at him.)
King Koopa: When I get my mitts on you, you're gonna be creamed, Mushroom!
Toad: You gotta catch me first, king-a-ling!
(King Koopa gets up and chases Toad around the room.)
Princess Toadstool: Watch out, Toad!
(Toad trips over a rock sticking out of the floor. King Koopa jumps on top of him and holds him upside-down by one leg.)
King Koopa: Gotcha! Prepare to fry in the lava machine, you mangy Mushroom! (laughs evilly)
(Fry Guy enters.)
Fry Guy: Hold it, your bossiness. I got a hot flesh for you.
King Koopa: Haven't I told you never to interrupt me when I'm gloating?
Fry Guy: But we got trouble! The Marios has re-plumbed the lava machine and they stopped up the pipes!
King Koopa: You mean I can't destroy the island? I hate those Marios! They always spoil my fun!
(King Koopa grabs Princess Toadstool with his other claw.)
King Koopa: Well, I'll just have to put the lava machine back in action. Ha ha ha. While my two prisoners watch.
(Cut to the lava machine room, where steam is shooting out of the pipes.)
Mario: This is hard for a plumber to watch, Luigi.
Luigi: I know. Plugging up pipes goes against everything we stand for.
Mario: We have no choice! It was the only way we could stop Koopa and save the island.
Luigi: Mario! Here comes Koopa!
Mario: Quick! We'll hide in the lava boat!
(The Mario Bros. jump into the raft. King Koopa, Fry Guy, Princess Toadstool, and Toad are at the other end of the room.)
Fry Guy: See? Instead of the lava machine destroying the island, it's gonna destroy us!
(Lava starts to burst out of a pipe. King Koopa then drops Toad.)
King Koopa: At least you're still my prisoner, and we're escaping in the lava boat!
(King Koopa carries Princess Toadstool over to the raft.)
Luigi: Now what?
Mario: Koopa's gonna take a trip he didn't plan on!
(Mario tosses a lifesaver in front of King Koopa, who gets his foot stuck in it. Mario pulls on the rope, which knocks King Koopa over and causes the Princess to go flying.)
Princess Toadstool: Help!
(Princess Toadstool lands in Luigi's arms.)
Luigi: Welcome aboard, Princess!
(The song of the instrumental version of "Motor City" starts up again. Lava bursts out of the machine and starts flooding the room.)
King Koopa: Whoa, whoa, whoa! (screams)
(He runs off with Fry Guy. Toad is trapped in an area between the flowing lava. The lifesaver is thrown around his middle, and Mario pulls him over the lava and into the raft.)
Toad: Thanks, Mario! Now, let's hope this lava boat really works!
(The lava washes the raft away. Some of the lava touches the tip of King Koopa's tail and singes it.)
King Koopa: Ow, ooh, ow! I'll get you for this, you meddling Marios! Time to Koop out!
(King Koopa jumps into a tunnel shaped like a bird's head.)
Fry Guy: Great! Koopa warps out and left me to face the heat!
(The raft is approaching a dead end.)
Princess Toadstool: Oh, no! The tunnel ends!
(The lava breaks out through the wall. The song ends. The raft then goes flying out of the volcano.)
Toad: Whee! This is a definite E-ticket ride!
Luigi: (cover his eyes) I can't look!
Mario: Holy ravioli!
(The raft lands on the ground and stops in front of the cheering natives.)
Mario: Open your eyes, Luigi! We made it!
(Luigi uncovers his eyes, looks around.)
Luigi: Whew.
(Later, the Mario gang are out of the raft.)
Scooter: I'm sorry, dudes! A bogus Fire God! How could I ever have been so stupid?
Toad: Look, gang, they're smoke signals!
(Toad points to the volcano, where O-shaped smoke clouds are floating out.)
Luigi: I knew we were still in trouble.
(Up on the top of the volcano, Waki-Waki is making the smoke signals by wafting a bonfire with a rug.)
Scooter: Relax, Luigi! It's just the real Fire God telling us he's safe, and sending us a message!
Princess Toadstool: What's he saying?
Scooter: Our guests deserve a spaghetti luau!
(Later, everyone is gathered around Waki-Waki, who is cooking a pot of spaghetti. Fry Guy, who's in a cage underneath the pot, is heating it. Waki-Waki serves a plate of spaghetti to Mario.)
Mario: Now I know why they call this paradise!
(Mario eats some spaghetti, and smoke flies out of his ears. The episode then irises out.)
Time Out Luigi: Part 2[]
Mario: I mean, what's wrong with you, Luigi? Ever since you bought that watch from that strange lady, you've been doing everything backwards. You've been walking backwards, you've been talking backwards, I mean, you've been eating backwards. I mean it. Take a look at you, you're even dressing backwards!
Luigi: Mario, silly don't be, better felt never I've.
Mario: Yeah, yeah, yeah, there you go again, everything backwards.
Luigi: Deaf, you are what? Fine I'm said I.
Mario: Oh, wait a minute, I'm beginning to get it. You said: What am I, deaf? I said I'm fine. Uh, Luigi, what do you have, a fever?
Luigi: Not course of! Fiddle as fit am I! Room the around I'll, you would prove to judge.
Mario: Alright, prove it to me, jog around the room.
Luigi: Now got it I've. Watch. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. (snoring)
Mario: Oh! It must be that strange watch. I'm gonna take it off and throw it in the furnace! Yeow! It must be possessed! I've got to find Angelica! Or put Luigi in a backward folks home.
Edison: Wow! What was that?
(After a Mario head transition...)
Mario: That's pitiful, Luigi, what's gonna make you normal again?
Luigi: Zelda of Legend, next to from scenes, send me show have, with you?
Time Out Luigi: Part 3[]
Mario: Luigi, I found Angelica.
Angelica: What's the fuss? He looks fine to me.
Mario: Yeah, but he's been eating breakfast at 5:00 in the afternoon, and he's been doing everything backwards.
Angelica: Maybe he works a late shift or something. I like the occasional dinner waffle myself.
Mario: Angelica, we want you to take the watch back.
Angelica: Oh, I'm such a pushover, okay, I'll take the watch back for ten dollars.
Mario: Ten dollars? You crook!
Angelica: Yeah, but I'm a strange and mysterious crook. Is it a deal, Mac?
Mario: Okay. Luigi, give her the watch.
Angelica: Cool your jets, whippersnapper. Hey, buddy, don't give me the watch.
Luigi: Oh, what happened?
Angelica: You'll be fine. Just don't eat any onions for a few days.
Luigi: Phew. Wow. I mean, will eating onions make me do things backwards again?
Angelica: No, but it'll keep people backing away from you.
Luigi: Backing away from me? Onions?
[laughing]
Luigi: Oh, I feel dizzy. Phew. That was strange and mysterious, all right.
Mario [vo]: Stick around, paisanos. We'll be right back.
Ending Segment[]
Mario: 'Til next time, everyone.
Mario, Luigi, and Angelica: Mario the Do!